So me and my wife want to buy this lovely home we found outside of the current city we live in, it would be 45 minutes from my parents and an hour from hers. My mom is absolutely devastated we want to buy a home where it is and her mom is equally upset with our choice in location, it’s much cooler, quiet, and has almost 2 acres of land.

Another issue with my side of the family is: my mom and dad are looking at properties an hour an half away from their current home and think that we should buy something out there, problem is.. our budget of 300K in that area is small manufactured homes OR it’s very small homes (1300sqf) for my wife and 2 kids.

My issue with manufactured is they almost never have a garage, and we need space for my work tools, motorcycles and general garage things.

I have this feeling like we need to just take the plunge and show them we’ll still see them weekly if not multiple times a week still..

My husband passed away unexpectedly in 2021. We have two adult sons who had a very close, loving relationship with their paternal grandmother.

Their grandmother recently passed away. She had three children: my late husband and his two sisters.

My sons received a letter from probate with a handwritten note stating that no grandchildren were included in the will and that their grandmother's house was going to their two aunts.

My sons decided to obtain the actual will and probate documents themselves.

What they discovered was upsetting.

The 2024 will leaves the estate equally to the two surviving daughters. However, it also contains a backup provision specifically naming four grandchildren—the aunts' children—at 25% each if certain conditions are met.

My two sons are the only grandchildren not named.

When my sons questioned why their father's family had been excluded, their aunts explained that their grandfather had excluded the daughters from his own will, so their grandmother supposedly wanted to make things fair by leaving everything to them.

Here's what makes that explanation particularly strange to me: Their grandparents divorced approximately 50 years ago. They had been divorced for decades, yet we're being told that their grandmother's decision to exclude my husband's family was somehow connected to what her ex-husband did in his own will.

My husband and our sons had absolutely nothing to do with their grandfather's decisions.

My younger son confronted his aunts because he wanted honest, straightforward answers.

One aunt then told him that if both sisters died, the estate would have been divided equally among all six grandchildren.

He sent her a picture of the actual provision naming only four grandchildren at 25% each and accused her of lying.

Her response was, "I'm sorry you feel that way."

My son was furious. He told his aunts that his dad would be furious if he knew what was happening. He also questioned why his grandmother would intentionally name four grandchildren but exclude the other two.

I want to be clear: My sons aren't questioning whether their grandmother loved them. They know she did.

What is breaking my heart is watching my boys deal with this after already losing their dad. I don't care about the money. I care about how they're being treated by people who are supposed to be their family.

I know my younger son is angry, and maybe he's coming across harshly, but I also understand why. Every time he asks a question, he seems to get another explanation that doesn't make sense.

I don't expect anyone here to know what really happened. I guess I'm just wondering how other people would feel in this situation. Am I wrong for thinking the least their aunts could do is be honest with them? And at what point do you stop asking questions because you realize you may never get a straight answer?

This might be long I'm going to try and keep it as simple as possible.

I(24f) have only ever lived with my mom(58) and my brother(30). My mom became a single mother after my dad left when I was 7. 4 years ago I met my now fiancé(24m), whom I live with now. Everything was great to start out with until we started to get more serious. The upset began last year when we went out of the country on vacation with his family. The news of the vacation plunged my mom into a deep depression[putting curtains over her windows and not speaking to anyone], her thought process being that I was going to get kidnapped and die and that my fiancés[then just bf] family was trying to take me from her. Side note, we went to an all inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic and the resort keeps track of what your excursions are and yes his family loves me but I'm not being pulled to "their side" because there are no sides.

Flash forward to now we got engaged 7 mo. ago [which my mom spoiled by telling me and sobbing abt his intention to propose] and bought a house 3 mo. ago. This is where things got really rough. I told my mom when we were thinking about buying it, she then lied and said my fiancé had broken a promise to her because he said we would wait 3 yrs. to move in together until we were married, and that he wouldn't move me out to the county where his family lives. No one ever said that, we both told her separately that our outline moving forward was getting engaged, living together, getting married, and waiting three yrs. after marriage to have a baby. He had promised her he wouldn't take me more than 30 minutes away, we are 15 min. from my moms house. So, in telling my mom about this it started this cycle of her being fine and supportive, then flipping to warning me and insinuating I'm being taken away from her. Our house is much closer to his parents than my mom, but that wasn't intentional, we walked in and loved it instantly, it also takes my 50 min drive to work down to 30 min, which is amazing.

This all leads us to the actual day I moved in. I had been bringing stuff slowly bc. me and my mom only have cars and don't know anyone who could lend us a bigger vehicle. My fiances family gave us a bunch of furniture they wanted to get rid of, saving us THOUSANDS of dollars. I had let my mom know in the months and weeks leading up to the day I moved that they gave us a lot, its not permanent furniture or new/ fancy but I love it for the time being. We get my stuff in a couple car loads and as I'm showing her the house she breaks down crying exclaiming that I left her out of everything, how could I do this to her, we are in his parents backyard, she never wants to meet his mom, etc. After we got back to her house to get my cat, I walked in to her talking to my stepdad on the phone and I can hear him yelling abt. me. I end up sobbing and having a panic attack before leaving.

It's been a month since we moved in here and I love it, but the drama continues to drag on. I get texts from my stepdad asking me why I leave my mom out of things and to see her, do stuff with her, talk to her[all the while I'm continuously having to text her first and initiate the only contact between us and she wont come to my house]. My mom and step dad are convinced I've done all this intentionally to hurt her, even going as far to ask a relator friend to look into records of who "ACTUALLY" owns our house[surprise it's us]. We had a plan that after I moved I would pick her up on Thursdays, we would pick up my niece, and come back to my house and spend time together. She won't come to my house, cancels every time I try.

I'm not at all equipped to handle this amount of family drama but have talked to my brother about all three of us having a family meeting. I understand I should've tried more to include her, but any time I'd talk abt. it she would cry and the convo went nowhere. I'm not mad at her or even my stepdad, I feel a massive amount of guilt, I miss her, but at the same time the reaction to this doesn't seem rational to what actually happened. I'm in a really bad headspace abt. all this and feel so much pressure to fix it. It's torn us a part and changed everything cause now my mom hates my fiance and his family. It has all gotten too complicated and I'm confused and overwhelmed.

while im not really sad about it bcz ive had this realisation for a while now and it's only today that i finally confronted it. Me and my younger brother have had a rough childhood, not financially but our parents never really got along, there were calm times here and there but overall it was all a f-ing mess. They did however like my younger brother more and it was quite obvious always but i don't hold anything against him for that, he'll always be my lil bro.... Idk it's a very complicated family dynamic, the last time when i felt truly scared was when i realised that in case of a divorce, both my parents would choose my brother.
This was when i was 16, now im 21. Surprisingly im an extrovert and Ive tried to express this at times but eventually never did, never found anyone i could relate this to haha bye.

I’m 21, recently turned 21 5 days ago, attend community college, can’t drive, and live with my two parents, while my younger brother is at a university. We live in a good house, lifestyle, and my parents have good income as software engineers. However, I am autistic, have management and independent issues, and often need my parents to monitor so I don’t go off task.

Today, I had a conflict with my father because he approached me saying that I need to change my behavior. Whenever he checks up on me, I have to comply with him and show everything I may be hiding. He doesn't respect my privacy and need to be left alone at certain times. I was waking up slowly like I always do and looking at my phone in the process. Last night in my dreams I was thinking about why I resent him. It didn’t end well. He got angrier the more I disobeyed him, ignored him, stayed silent from him, and didn’t do exactly as he says(Namely, returning my phone to his desk when I tossed it onto the couch once he started yelling at me to give it back. Even so, he demanded that I return it to his desk). Then I couldn’t contain my anger and resent anymore and shot back. What he did as usual was say that he didn’t deserve any bad behavior from me, he did nothing wrong, and that he deserves respect from me(but I heard parents owe their children nothing, is that right?). Victimizing himself and antagonizing me, and blaming me for challenging him. I feel like shit when I’m antagonized by him. Then he goes on and on about what he did for me(taking me to good and fun places, buying me food), that this is his house I live in. A frequent excuse he used today is to question what I have given back to the family. He also called me mentally ill, which I deflected back at him, and even told me that if I don’t want to see him, get out of his house. I may have no other option than to stay, but despite that I kinda want to because I am tired of living with him. He even called me a burden.

Along with this today, there are many reasons why I hate and resent him deep down. I just hate how he treats me regularly, expressing disdain with my bad habits, and anger when I don’t comply. Even mocking instead of praising me when I express that I want to do some good, at a certain time. In general, whenever I have struggles and conflicts online, he usually doesn’t comfort me, but berates me more, doesn’t understand me, and makes me feel worse instead of supporting me. He doesn’t know how scary and intimidating he really is. Yet despite that, whenever he talks in a stern tone, he later always says his tone was good and that was being nice.

I remember one time, even after having an argument with my mother, when she wanted to be left alone, he approached saying they needed to talk in the same sort of tune. At her breaking point, my mother screamed to be left alone, ran into their room, and began crying. At that moment, when I wanted to stand up for her, my dad said and brushed off the fact that she screamed and cried as something unreasonable, and even addressed that I wanted to protect her with slight mockery, anger, and disdain.

Another time, when I was emotionally unstable and crying because of my mom screaming at me, he then downplayed my emotions by saying that my suffering can't compare to theirs because of how high maintenance I am. Then said that I needed to be “lovable” and “adorable” to be loved or hugged. I then cried saying that he doesn’t know how I feel and how I suffer, only for him to berate me more, and tell me to “shut the fuck up”. After that, when I tried to talk to my mother after that, he then tried to make her stop listening and say to her that I’m “using her”, even though I just wanted to talk to her and for her to understand me.

Never once have I seen him apologize to me or my mother and take accountability about what he did and how I acted. He even threatened that he might kill me because I attacked my mother when I was angry at her for mocking me in a heated moment. That was the only time I ever saw him cry, after I hurt my mother out of anger. Whenever I cry, and am sad and have an outburst because of that, he calls it "drama", "showing off", and "looking to fight". He treats my emotions like a disease in the family. I have barely received and felt emotional affection, comfort, care, empathy, or sympathy from him, and he doesn’t respect me. He has never cried for me or even told how much he loves me. When I try to talk about that to him, he uses the excuse “it’s his style of parenting”, and that he can’t understand the emotional care and treatment I want. He even laughs at it a couple times.

Whenever I mention it to my mother, she just downplays his lack of emotional care, saying he’s good enough, that I need to forgive him, and that it’s hard to make him understand empathy. She also says he’s already near perfect because her father was worse, and that he cares for me. I doubt it. With how things go on, if I committed suicide or got lost, I doubt he would feel sad, care for me. I feel so expendable, replaceable to him, because he stops loving me the moment I object to him or disobey him. He only hates me when that happens. Yet, during some of these heated moments, my mother would get emotional and regret that she brought me into this family, and that I can testify to the court against my father. She was even unhappy with him for a certain period of time. When I bring those up, she downplays those too. My father even made my brother cry when he expressed doubt in him and that he didn’t like him and how he acted. He just demands obedience, compliance, and respect.

To anyone reading this, tell me, is this okay? Am I wrong for feeling this about my father? I feel like my life feels empty, lacks self esteem, and that I lack motivation to do good because I didn’t receive enough care. I feel alone and unloved. I feel like I act like this because of how my parents, most especially my father has treated me. Is that true? I think I don’t give back to the family because it’s just very hard for me to do so due to feeling this way. I usually just live my own life on the internet and contribute to chores whenever asked. Am I a bad son for doing so?

Whenever I doubt his love for me, he and my mom just use the excuse of the things he did for the family, transporting me to school, taking me to good places, and providing food. Is this love, despite the complete absence of empathy and emotional support? Am I supposed to force myself to accept and love him this way? Is that how love works? This love feels so empty, so hollow. To me, because of everything he did, that makes him a provider, but not a father. He may feed and give us good experiences, but no amount of them will fix or erase what he did, how he acted, and how he made me feel when I needed emotional support the most. The feeding and good experiences are ultimately just fleeting moments when it comes to my family’s relationship.

Is my father right or wrong for treating me and my family this way? Help me, I can’t go on like this forever, I think I’m going to snap and do something irreversible one day.

P.S.: My family is Asian, which may explain a lot…

Just wondering since I've never seen this in anyone else's family. My mother especially makes really cruel remarks towards me (e.g. "you look like a hunchback, don't come crying to me when you're fat and ugly in the future because you didn't lose weight now, you look pregnant in that skirt, with how you work I'm surprised you still have a job, I would have fired you ages ago with how lazy you are, etc") and always follows it up with "I'm just being honest" and "would you rather I just didn't tell you?" When I call her out on it. Is this normal? Because it hurts as fuck to hear this stuff, but being raised this way, I've almost started getting used to it until some pointed out it's Hella mean.

I’m a 31 year old female. I’m married and just had a baby. I often worry about my mom’s financial situation though. She is a great person - not on drugs, doesn’t have an alcohol problem, and genuinely has a good head on her shoulders. However, I think she struggles to support herself financially. Ever since her and my dad split over a decade ago she’s had to support herself obviously. She was living in the same state as me with a stable job and cheap rent but then COVID happened and she lost that job and said fuck it and moved to the Southwest part of the USA from the Midwest. She was doing fine out there initially until she again lost her job out there and proceeded to go on a series of temp jobs that kept not hiring her on full time, so she bounced around a lot, making no more than $20-$21/hr. For reference the state she lives in costs significantly more to live than where we live in the Midwest. She eventually lost her apartment because she couldn’t find a stable job but thank god bc she has a really good friend out where she lives and now lives with her. I truly believe she would have been homeless if she did not have this friend. My mom has ZERO money saved for retirement and very little savings in general. I don’t think it’s because she’s bad at money management per se but I just don’t think she makes enough to keep up with cost of living and then when that’s the case how are you even supposed to save? She doesn’t invest because she has zero knowledge on how to do it. In terms of career/job situation I urge her to upskill because part of the reason why I think it’s hard for her to get a good job in this competitive job market is because she’s pretty stagnant, not tech savvy, doesn’t have a bachelors degree, and seems to only seek low level administrative type work that doesn’t pay that well. On top of that she’s almost 62 so most companies don’t really find her appealing as a candidate because of a lot of the skills she lacks on top of her age sadly. She also has a bad knee and desperately needs a knee replacement but can’t afford it!

Anyways….I’m worried that when the time actually comes and she moves back here that I will need to support her in some way. Whether that’s paying her rent or something. I’ve talked to my husband about this but he does not seem very open to the idea which seems a little fucked up to me. I just don’t think my husband understands bc his parents are pretty well off (my FIL was a C-level executive at a big oil & gas company but is now retired). So you can imagine my husband’s parents are pretty well off. My husband also wants to buy a duplex and I brought up the idea of maybe letting my mom live in it and he said “I’m not in business to lose money.” Um…wow? So you’re telling me you wouldn’t help support your mother in law if she needed it? I don’t want to imply that he’s obligated to support her but it did feel kind of cold and careless.

How should I navigate this because I also want to make sure I can take care of my own family first. I mentioned at the beginning of this post that we just had a baby and we want more so I definitely want to make sure I can support my own family in my home first before I commit to financially supporting another adult.

Tell me your most unhinged family stories. What have your crazy aunt or uncle done? Has your narcissistic mom said to you? Share all please!!

I am a married male 29 years old and living in metro city in India. I live on a rent and also paying home loan emi for the house which i own in my hometown. Total of these comes to around 1 lakh per month. Also i support to my parents in living expenses entirelyas they do not have any income.

We as a couple is earning very decent(70lpa) but after all these expenses we feel that we won't be able to save much and fulfill our dreams of traveling and living conveniently without stressing about the money.

On the other end my elder sister(married) doesn't have such responsibilities or any financial liability. Her husband is coming from upper middle class family and they both are earning more than us. The question is : Should I ask for her contribution for parental support? I know she won't deny but is it correct on my part to ask her.

I am a 35-year-old married woman. I have noticed that my father-in-law frequently stares at me in an intense and intimidating manner. He is 75 years old now. Whenever I appear confident, his prolonged staring makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and causes me to lose my confidence. However, when my husband is at home, my father-in-law behaves decently.

When the whole family sits together and talks, he closely watches my facial expressions and reactions. Sometimes, he repeatedly glares at me angrily, and at other times, I notice him looking me up and down with an angry expression that makes me feel intimidated.

He also speaks to me in a controlling manner, which makes me feel uncomfortable.

Whenever he looks at me this way, I become extremely frightened and start sweating.

Is this just my perception, or could there be something wrong with my father-in-law’s behavior?

What could be the reason for this behavior? I would be grateful if anyone who has experienced or understands this kind of behavior could share their thoughts and advice.

16F. I’m asking this because I recently went to a psychiatrist, and she told me that my current issues are connected to my childhood environment. I can’t fully see it myself, so I need some outside perspective.

When I was a kid, my parents used to fight constantly. They even ended up divorcing when I was 4, though they reconciled a few months later. My father would explode with anger over minor things and take it out on either my mother or me. He heavily criticized my mother whenever he was angry, and he would criticize me completely at random too. He was also incredibly dramatic. When I was 14, just because I didn’t want to look at a photo of myself because I was hating my appearance, he exploded. He told me that I should kill myself and that he should do it too because having a daughter like me was terrible (like? lol).

Another weird thing is that my parents, especially my father, used to invalidate my feelings and get angry at me whenever I was vulnerable. For example, I remember my father getting mad at me just because I got hurt. When I was 4 or 5, I was at a party and cried for him to pick me up early; he got so angry that he stopped talking to me for the rest of the day. I think it wasn’t that abnormal, but they would always say things like "enough crying" or "are you seriously going to cry?" whenever I cried or felt like crying.

On the other hand, they did give me affection and validation, like normal parents. Nowadays, my father doesn’t explode anymore and is surprisingly calm, and my parents rarely fight.

What do you think?.

I don't dislike her. She's sweet and goes to our church and the whole family likes her. I don't know how to explain it but it always feels like company is over when she comes over. Like I know she's considered family. Every event he leaves early to pick her up and take her and he's often late because of it. I get along with her fine but I just miss it being just the family. Just us hanging out. I don't think we really have the last few months. I don't mean to come off as an a**hole I just wonder if anyone else feels this way. I'm glad he has someone. It's just it feels hard to relax or be myself when she's around. When she comes over I feel rude if I just hang out in my room all night and feel obliged to come out and interact. Please don't take this the wrong way. I just feel like I can't tell anyone these feelings without being judged or feeling guilty

I 22F am having troubles connecting with my 13 year old sister. We just don’t have stuff in common and I feel bad, I want to have a close relationship with her but the age difference makes it hard and i’m busy most of the time studying. What makes me feel even worse is that i’m close to my 18 y.o. brother cause we have similar interests and grew up being really close before she was born. So most of the time when i’m free we’re together. I don’t want her to feel that i don’t like her (which is not true). But I have a hard time connecting and when I try it just feels awkward. I don’t want her growing up remembering that I wasn’t a good sister to her. But I can count the times we have hung out together in her 13 years of living on my fingers. How do I try to be more present in her life ?

Ich bin seit einigen Jahren mit meinem Partner zusammen. Er ist geschieden und hat zwei Kinder um die 20. Seine Ex-Frau und er sind schon seit einigen Jahren getrennt.

Seine Kinder hängen sehr an der ursprünglichen Familienkonstellation und haben Schwierigkeiten damit, dass ihre Eltern nicht mehr zusammen sind. Sie wünschen sich, dass bestimmte Familientraditionen erhalten bleiben, vor allem Weihnachten.
Und genau da liegt mein Problem.
Ich komme selbst aus einer ziemlich zerrissenen Familie. Ich habe mehrere Geschwister, aber wir haben alle ein eher distanziertes Verhältnis zueinander, obwohl wir versuchen, uns näherzukommen. Meine Kindheit war von wenig emotionaler Wärme und Geborgenheit geprägt. Weihnachten mit meinen Eltern war für mich oft so belastend, dass ich irgendwann beschlossen habe, es nicht mehr mit ihnen zu verbringen.
Ich habe also keine eigene Familie, zu der ich an Weihnachten gerne zurückkehre. Gleichzeitig wünsche ich mir wahrscheinlich gerade deshalb sehr, irgendwo dazuzugehören und mit meinem Partner eine eigene Form von Familie und gemeinsamen Traditionen aufzubauen.

Nun steht Weihnachten wieder vor der Tür. Seine Kinder wünschen sich, den 24. Dezember gemeinsam mit beiden Eltern zu verbringen. Seine Ex-Frau findet das selbst etwas merkwürdig, würde es aber den Kindern zuliebe machen.
Ich kann verstehen, dass die Kinder an ihren Traditionen hängen. Und ich finde auch, dass mein Partner ein guter Vater sein und die Bedürfnisse seiner Kinder ernst nehmen soll.
Trotzdem habe ich Angst, davor, alleine zu sein. Ich habe sehr dunkle Abgründe und war schon öfters Weihnachten alleine und es ist richtig schlimm.

Ich fühle mich in dieser Patchwork-Konstellation immer wieder ausgeschlossen. Ich kenne seine Kinder und seine Ex-Frau zwar, aber nicht besonders gut. Ich würde mich bei einem gemeinsamen Weihnachtsfest mit ihnen vermutlich auch nicht wirklich wohlfühlen. Gleichzeitig tut mir der Gedanke unglaublich weh, dass mein Partner Weihnachten mit seiner früheren Familie verbringt und ich irgendwie außerhalb dieses Familiengefüges stehe.

Natürlich könnte ich Weihnachten mit Freunden verbringen. Aber ich würde dabei vermutlich traurig sein und mich wieder so fühlen, als hätte ich keinen richtigen Platz und keine eigene Familie.
Was mich zunehmend beschäftigt: Ich merke, dass ich diese Patchwork-Konstellation insgesamt schwer akzeptieren kann. Nicht nur Weihnachten. Ich habe manchmal das Gefühl, dass es da ein bestehendes Familiensystem gibt, in dem ich nie wirklich einen selbstverständlichen Platz haben werde.
Ich weiß, dass die Kinder immer Teil seines Lebens bleiben werden. Das möchte ich auch gar nicht ändern. Und ich weiß, dass ich als erwachsene Frau vielleicht souveräner damit umgehen sollte.
Aber ich schaffe es emotional nicht. Ich fühle mich verletzt, ausgeschlossen und teilweise auch neidisch auf diese familiäre Verbundenheit, die ich selbst nie hatte.
Ich frage mich deshalb zunehmend, ob ich einfach an meinen eigenen Themen arbeiten muss oder ob eine Patchwork-Beziehung vielleicht tatsächlich nicht das Richtige für mich ist.

Meine Fragen an euch:
Gibt es hier Menschen, die als neue Partnerin oder neuer Partner ähnliche Schwierigkeiten mit Patchwork-Familien hatten? Hat sich das irgendwann verändert?
Ist es egoistisch, sich zu wünschen, Weihnachten mit seinem Partner zu verbringen, auch wenn dessen erwachsene Kinder andere Vorstellungen haben?
Wie findet man seinen Platz in einer Familie, die schon lange vor einem existiert hat?
Und woran erkennt man, ob man an eigenen Verletzungen arbeiten sollte oder ob eine Beziehungskonstellation einfach nicht zu den eigenen emotionalen Bedürfnissen passt?
Ich möchte niemandem etwas wegnehmen und schon gar nicht zwischen meinem Partner und seinen Kindern stehen. Aber ich möchte auch nicht dauerhaft das Gefühl haben, bei den wichtigen familiären Momenten nur am Rand vorzukommen.

TL;DR: Mein Partner hat zwei Kinder um die 20, die Weihnachten weiterhin mit beiden Eltern feiern möchten. Ich komme aus einer schwierigen Familie, habe selbst kein schönes familiäres Weihnachten und fühle mich in seiner Patchwork-Konstellation zunehmend ausgeschlossen. Ich frage mich, ob ich lernen muss, damit umzugehen, oder ob diese Beziehungsform einfach nicht zu mir passt.

My parents divorced when I was under ten years old. They both remarried and that’s been the family structure I’ve known for my entire life. When I was maybe seventeen or so, my grandmother slipped up and made a comment that implied my dad cheating was the reason for my parent’s divorce. I hadn’t given it much thought since I was so young when it happened, but things finally clocked into place. I confronted my dad about it and he admitted it. I had even been introduced to the woman he cheated on my mom with as his “new girlfriend” on more than one occasion.

Over the years, this has kind of faded into the background and it wasn’t something I thought of actively. However, now that I am married myself and I see my dad getting older, I start to lose respect for him more and more. I don’t know if it’s because I couldn’t see myself cheating on my spouse or what, but it’s made me bitter towards him. For the most part, he was a very good father; he was always supportive of my hobbies and was there to help me when I needed it, but I would never say he was someone I looked up to, or someone that I would ever want making a speech at my wedding (does that make sense? I know I’m already married but it was the best analogy I could think of lol) But now I just can’t get this nagging thought out of my mind that it’s all tarnished by the fact that he’s a cheater. I guess I just don’t respect him at all anymore and I feel guilty. Has anyone ever been in this position before?

TL;DR: my dad’s infidelity affects me more as an adult than it did as a kid, even though it’s what caused my parent’s divorce and a complete 180 of my life.

I honestly dont know how to deal with something like this. im 23f and I live at home with my parents. They got married fairly young and their marriage has been rough, one might say, really rough. Through infidelity, and arguments and 6 kids.

im dead stacked in the middle. the 3rd out of 6. so yes a middle kid. and i guess this is to be expected, right? Because im the middle kid and all . My parents don't particularly like each other very much. Love, yes, I guess so. Like? Not much. And this is where I come in, sadly.

to my mom, I remind her too much of my dad. and to my dad I remind him too much of my mother. so much so that the mistreatment of me has been noticed and talked about amongst my family - mainly my siblings. I've been accustomed to it. i shouldn't have to but I do. The way my dad looks at me and talks to me, it's like he deeply loathed me and can't stand to me around me. it hurts bc regardless I love my dad but this sh!t hurts.

and my mom, good God, she pretends she likes me but can never compliment me, always has to say she doesn't particularly like me and says she not my mother constantly as a joke and says im not her child and I'm adopted- she jokes about this frequently too.

I'm not a bad kid to them and I never really have been. I'm not the perfect child, but one they never had to worry about as a kid. bc i always kept to myself and made good grades, never ran away or. caused any problems besides my depression a couple of times.

I just dont understand the strong dislike towards me. how do i deal with this? and why can't they stand me? ​​

I (21F) share a bathroom with my little brother (20M). We still live with our parents and I am grateful that we can.

For extra context, I do struggle with contamination fears... but I am certain that I am not crazy in this.

My little brother never ever cleans the bathroom. I hate that he doesn't... but I can deal with that. However, what I can't deal with is the ABSOLUTE MESS he makes of the bathroom which I then have to clean. It's not just 'cleaning the toilet' kind of stuff... Even if that's disgusting, I see that as a basic thing I have to do to clean the bathroom. No... he.. leaves stuff.

For example, he doesn't rinse off the bathtub. Often times I find pubic hair. YES PUBIC HAIR. It drives me insane!

On top of that, he never rinses away the toothpaste he spit out in the sink. He also never grabs a new shampoo bottle, hand wash or toilet rolls. If I don't grab new shampoo, this man will not wash his hair...

Today it was really bad cuz he went to the bathroom before me.. peed on the toilet ring (idk if that's the correct term) did not clean it up, then also did not wash his hands. THIS WAS RIGHT BEFORE DINNER! And after dinner he unloaded the dishwasher!

I am so freaked out. I feel like this isn't just my 'contamination fear'. Like this is absolutely disgusting right?

I have tried to talk to him about it, but he just gets angry. I also feel kinda uncomfortable to talk about him leaving pubic hair in the bathtub. So is there any way on how I can improve this situation?