I am a married male 29 years old and living in metro city in India. I live on a rent and also paying home loan emi for the house which i own in my hometown. Total of these comes to around 1 lakh per month. Also i support to my parents in living expenses entirelyas they do not have any income.

We as a couple is earning very decent(70lpa) but after all these expenses we feel that we won't be able to save much and fulfill our dreams of traveling and living conveniently without stressing about the money.

On the other end my elder sister(married) doesn't have such responsibilities or any financial liability. Her husband is coming from upper middle class family and they both are earning more than us. The question is : Should I ask for her contribution for parental support? I know she won't deny but is it correct on my part to ask her.

while im not really sad about it bcz ive had this realisation for a while now and it's only today that i finally confronted it. Me and my younger brother have had a rough childhood, not financially but our parents never really got along, there were calm times here and there but overall it was all a f-ing mess. They did however like my younger brother more and it was quite obvious always but i don't hold anything against him for that, he'll always be my lil bro.... Idk it's a very complicated family dynamic, the last time when i felt truly scared was when i realised that in case of a divorce, both my parents would choose my brother.
This was when i was 16, now im 21. Surprisingly im an extrovert and Ive tried to express this at times but eventually never did, never found anyone i could relate this to haha bye.

16F. I’m asking this because I recently went to a psychiatrist, and she told me that my current issues are connected to my childhood environment. I can’t fully see it myself, so I need some outside perspective.

When I was a kid, my parents used to fight constantly. They even ended up divorcing when I was 4, though they reconciled a few months later. My father would explode with anger over minor things and take it out on either my mother or me. He heavily criticized my mother whenever he was angry, and he would criticize me completely at random too. He was also incredibly dramatic. When I was 14, just because I didn’t want to look at a photo of myself because I was hating my appearance, he exploded. He told me that I should kill myself and that he should do it too because having a daughter like me was terrible (like? lol).

Another weird thing is that my parents, especially my father, used to invalidate my feelings and get angry at me whenever I was vulnerable. For example, I remember my father getting mad at me just because I got hurt. When I was 4 or 5, I was at a party and cried for him to pick me up early; he got so angry that he stopped talking to me for the rest of the day. I think it wasn’t that abnormal, but they would always say things like "enough crying" or "are you seriously going to cry?" whenever I cried or felt like crying.

On the other hand, they did give me affection and validation, like normal parents. Nowadays, my father doesn’t explode anymore and is surprisingly calm, and my parents rarely fight.

What do you think?.

My husband passed away unexpectedly in 2021. We have two adult sons who had a very close, loving relationship with their paternal grandmother.

Their grandmother recently passed away. She had three children: my late husband and his two sisters.

My sons received a letter from probate with a handwritten note stating that no grandchildren were included in the will and that their grandmother's house was going to their two aunts.

My sons decided to obtain the actual will and probate documents themselves.

What they discovered was upsetting.

The 2024 will leaves the estate equally to the two surviving daughters. However, it also contains a backup provision specifically naming four grandchildren—the aunts' children—at 25% each if certain conditions are met.

My two sons are the only grandchildren not named.

When my sons questioned why their father's family had been excluded, their aunts explained that their grandfather had excluded the daughters from his own will, so their grandmother supposedly wanted to make things fair by leaving everything to them.

Here's what makes that explanation particularly strange to me: Their grandparents divorced approximately 50 years ago. They had been divorced for decades, yet we're being told that their grandmother's decision to exclude my husband's family was somehow connected to what her ex-husband did in his own will.

My husband and our sons had absolutely nothing to do with their grandfather's decisions.

My younger son confronted his aunts because he wanted honest, straightforward answers.

One aunt then told him that if both sisters died, the estate would have been divided equally among all six grandchildren.

He sent her a picture of the actual provision naming only four grandchildren at 25% each and accused her of lying.

Her response was, "I'm sorry you feel that way."

My son was furious. He told his aunts that his dad would be furious if he knew what was happening. He also questioned why his grandmother would intentionally name four grandchildren but exclude the other two.

I want to be clear: My sons aren't questioning whether their grandmother loved them. They know she did.

What is breaking my heart is watching my boys deal with this after already losing their dad. I don't care about the money. I care about how they're being treated by people who are supposed to be their family.

I know my younger son is angry, and maybe he's coming across harshly, but I also understand why. Every time he asks a question, he seems to get another explanation that doesn't make sense.

I don't expect anyone here to know what really happened. I guess I'm just wondering how other people would feel in this situation. Am I wrong for thinking the least their aunts could do is be honest with them? And at what point do you stop asking questions because you realize you may never get a straight answer?

I honestly dont know how to deal with something like this. im 23f and I live at home with my parents. They got married fairly young and their marriage has been rough, one might say, really rough. Through infidelity, and arguments and 6 kids.

im dead stacked in the middle. the 3rd out of 6. so yes a middle kid. and i guess this is to be expected, right? Because im the middle kid and all . My parents don't particularly like each other very much. Love, yes, I guess so. Like? Not much. And this is where I come in, sadly.

to my mom, I remind her too much of my dad. and to my dad I remind him too much of my mother. so much so that the mistreatment of me has been noticed and talked about amongst my family - mainly my siblings. I've been accustomed to it. i shouldn't have to but I do. The way my dad looks at me and talks to me, it's like he deeply loathed me and can't stand to me around me. it hurts bc regardless I love my dad but this sh!t hurts.

and my mom, good God, she pretends she likes me but can never compliment me, always has to say she doesn't particularly like me and says she not my mother constantly as a joke and says im not her child and I'm adopted- she jokes about this frequently too.

I'm not a bad kid to them and I never really have been. I'm not the perfect child, but one they never had to worry about as a kid. bc i always kept to myself and made good grades, never ran away or. caused any problems besides my depression a couple of times.

I just dont understand the strong dislike towards me. how do i deal with this? and why can't they stand me? ​​

Hi all! I am the youngest of 3 ( 30M 28F 26F ) to 55F.

i have been no contact with everyone since 2018 after a full breakdown of mine and mothers relationship. my siblings have maintained close relationships with my mother since though we're not present for some of my abuse. however they experienced abuse at her hands too.

i left due to the abuse i was enduring by my mother, both psychological and physical. i feel that i lost out on my childhood due to having to survive her and it has left me with multiple mental illnesses and im still unraveling the damage she caused well into adulthood. after in patient stays in facilities and multiple suicide attempts, one of my first memories is wishing to not be alive. while i am in a much better place now and have been receiving treatment for a few years, the feeling of always wanting my mum has never left me.

after a stressful moment in my life and running it by my therapist, i decided to reach out to her, not knowing if she would even answer. she did. she has expressed that she has loved me all this time and that she has grown as a person since and regrets her actions while i was growing up. she maintains that she will always love me and wishes to go slowly and at my pace to reignite contact. she has a good support system, some health issues and overall is living a very nice life.

but i seem to not be able to get over the contradiction of the person in front of me to the person that haunts my nightmares and i wonder how to navigate these testy waters. so far we have gone for lunch once and have text a few times though i have not replied in a few weeks. i want to have a relationship with her but i feel blocked from doing so. my siblings want nothing to do with me and part of me feels like i am intruding in on a family that doesn't belong to me.

has anyone dealt with a similar situation? how do i overcome the past and look to the future? what do i even say? words feel awkward and i just feel in such limbo.

any advice is appreciated and i'm happy to provide more details if needed. thank you!

I don't dislike her. She's sweet and goes to our church and the whole family likes her. I don't know how to explain it but it always feels like company is over when she comes over. Like I know she's considered family. Every event he leaves early to pick her up and take her and he's often late because of it. I get along with her fine but I just miss it being just the family. Just us hanging out. I don't think we really have the last few months. I don't mean to come off as an a**hole I just wonder if anyone else feels this way. I'm glad he has someone. It's just it feels hard to relax or be myself when she's around. When she comes over I feel rude if I just hang out in my room all night and feel obliged to come out and interact. Please don't take this the wrong way. I just feel like I can't tell anyone these feelings without being judged or feeling guilty

I’m 21, recently turned 21 5 days ago, attend community college, can’t drive, and live with my two parents, while my younger brother is at a university. We live in a good house, lifestyle, and my parents have good income as software engineers. However, I am autistic, have management and independent issues, and often need my parents to monitor so I don’t go off task.

Today, I had a conflict with my father because he approached me saying that I need to change my behavior. Whenever he checks up on me, I have to comply with him and show everything I may be hiding. He doesn't respect my privacy and need to be left alone at certain times. I was waking up slowly like I always do and looking at my phone in the process. Last night in my dreams I was thinking about why I resent him. It didn’t end well. He got angrier the more I disobeyed him, ignored him, stayed silent from him, and didn’t do exactly as he says(Namely, returning my phone to his desk when I tossed it onto the couch once he started yelling at me to give it back. Even so, he demanded that I return it to his desk). Then I couldn’t contain my anger and resent anymore and shot back. What he did as usual was say that he didn’t deserve any bad behavior from me, he did nothing wrong, and that he deserves respect from me(but I heard parents owe their children nothing, is that right?). Victimizing himself and antagonizing me, and blaming me for challenging him. I feel like shit when I’m antagonized by him. Then he goes on and on about what he did for me(taking me to good and fun places, buying me food), that this is his house I live in. A frequent excuse he used today is to question what I have given back to the family. He also called me mentally ill, which I deflected back at him, and even told me that if I don’t want to see him, get out of his house. I may have no other option than to stay, but despite that I kinda want to because I am tired of living with him. He even called me a burden.

Along with this today, there are many reasons why I hate and resent him deep down. I just hate how he treats me regularly, expressing disdain with my bad habits, and anger when I don’t comply. Even mocking instead of praising me when I express that I want to do some good, at a certain time. In general, whenever I have struggles and conflicts online, he usually doesn’t comfort me, but berates me more, doesn’t understand me, and makes me feel worse instead of supporting me. He doesn’t know how scary and intimidating he really is. Yet despite that, whenever he talks in a stern tone, he later always says his tone was good and that was being nice.

I remember one time, even after having an argument with my mother, when she wanted to be left alone, he approached saying they needed to talk in the same sort of tune. At her breaking point, my mother screamed to be left alone, ran into their room, and began crying. At that moment, when I wanted to stand up for her, my dad said and brushed off the fact that she screamed and cried as something unreasonable, and even addressed that I wanted to protect her with slight mockery, anger, and disdain.

Another time, when I was emotionally unstable and crying because of my mom screaming at me, he then downplayed my emotions by saying that my suffering can't compare to theirs because of how high maintenance I am. Then said that I needed to be “lovable” and “adorable” to be loved or hugged. I then cried saying that he doesn’t know how I feel and how I suffer, only for him to berate me more, and tell me to “shut the fuck up”. After that, when I tried to talk to my mother after that, he then tried to make her stop listening and say to her that I’m “using her”, even though I just wanted to talk to her and for her to understand me.

Never once have I seen him apologize to me or my mother and take accountability about what he did and how I acted. He even threatened that he might kill me because I attacked my mother when I was angry at her for mocking me in a heated moment. That was the only time I ever saw him cry, after I hurt my mother out of anger. Whenever I cry, and am sad and have an outburst because of that, he calls it "drama", "showing off", and "looking to fight". He treats my emotions like a disease in the family. I have barely received and felt emotional affection, comfort, care, empathy, or sympathy from him, and he doesn’t respect me. He has never cried for me or even told how much he loves me. When I try to talk about that to him, he uses the excuse “it’s his style of parenting”, and that he can’t understand the emotional care and treatment I want. He even laughs at it a couple times.

Whenever I mention it to my mother, she just downplays his lack of emotional care, saying he’s good enough, that I need to forgive him, and that it’s hard to make him understand empathy. She also says he’s already near perfect because her father was worse, and that he cares for me. I doubt it. With how things go on, if I committed suicide or got lost, I doubt he would feel sad, care for me. I feel so expendable, replaceable to him, because he stops loving me the moment I object to him or disobey him. He only hates me when that happens. Yet, during some of these heated moments, my mother would get emotional and regret that she brought me into this family, and that I can testify to the court against my father. She was even unhappy with him for a certain period of time. When I bring those up, she downplays those too. My father even made my brother cry when he expressed doubt in him and that he didn’t like him and how he acted. He just demands obedience, compliance, and respect.

To anyone reading this, tell me, is this okay? Am I wrong for feeling this about my father? I feel like my life feels empty, lacks self esteem, and that I lack motivation to do good because I didn’t receive enough care. I feel alone and unloved. I feel like I act like this because of how my parents, most especially my father has treated me. Is that true? I think I don’t give back to the family because it’s just very hard for me to do so due to feeling this way. I usually just live my own life on the internet and contribute to chores whenever asked. Am I a bad son for doing so?

Whenever I doubt his love for me, he and my mom just use the excuse of the things he did for the family, transporting me to school, taking me to good places, and providing food. Is this love, despite the complete absence of empathy and emotional support? Am I supposed to force myself to accept and love him this way? Is that how love works? This love feels so empty, so hollow. To me, because of everything he did, that makes him a provider, but not a father. He may feed and give us good experiences, but no amount of them will fix or erase what he did, how he acted, and how he made me feel when I needed emotional support the most. The feeding and good experiences are ultimately just fleeting moments when it comes to my family’s relationship.

Is my father right or wrong for treating me and my family this way? Help me, I can’t go on like this forever, I think I’m going to snap and do something irreversible one day.

P.S.: My family is Asian, which may explain a lot…

Just wondering since I've never seen this in anyone else's family. My mother especially makes really cruel remarks towards me (e.g. "you look like a hunchback, don't come crying to me when you're fat and ugly in the future because you didn't lose weight now, you look pregnant in that skirt, with how you work I'm surprised you still have a job, I would have fired you ages ago with how lazy you are, etc") and always follows it up with "I'm just being honest" and "would you rather I just didn't tell you?" When I call her out on it. Is this normal? Because it hurts as fuck to hear this stuff, but being raised this way, I've almost started getting used to it until some pointed out it's Hella mean.

Tell me your most unhinged family stories. What have your crazy aunt or uncle done? Has your narcissistic mom said to you? Share all please!!

I 22F am having troubles connecting with my 13 year old sister. We just don’t have stuff in common and I feel bad, I want to have a close relationship with her but the age difference makes it hard and i’m busy most of the time studying. What makes me feel even worse is that i’m close to my 18 y.o. brother cause we have similar interests and grew up being really close before she was born. So most of the time when i’m free we’re together. I don’t want her to feel that i don’t like her (which is not true). But I have a hard time connecting and when I try it just feels awkward. I don’t want her growing up remembering that I wasn’t a good sister to her. But I can count the times we have hung out together in her 13 years of living on my fingers. How do I try to be more present in her life ?

This might be long I'm going to try and keep it as simple as possible.

I(24f) have only ever lived with my mom(58) and my brother(30). My mom became a single mother after my dad left when I was 7. 4 years ago I met my now fiancé(24m), whom I live with now. Everything was great to start out with until we started to get more serious. The upset began last year when we went out of the country on vacation with his family. The news of the vacation plunged my mom into a deep depression[putting curtains over her windows and not speaking to anyone], her thought process being that I was going to get kidnapped and die and that my fiancés[then just bf] family was trying to take me from her. Side note, we went to an all inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic and the resort keeps track of what your excursions are and yes his family loves me but I'm not being pulled to "their side" because there are no sides.

Flash forward to now we got engaged 7 mo. ago [which my mom spoiled by telling me and sobbing abt his intention to propose] and bought a house 3 mo. ago. This is where things got really rough. I told my mom when we were thinking about buying it, she then lied and said my fiancé had broken a promise to her because he said we would wait 3 yrs. to move in together until we were married, and that he wouldn't move me out to the county where his family lives. No one ever said that, we both told her separately that our outline moving forward was getting engaged, living together, getting married, and waiting three yrs. after marriage to have a baby. He had promised her he wouldn't take me more than 30 minutes away, we are 15 min. from my moms house. So, in telling my mom about this it started this cycle of her being fine and supportive, then flipping to warning me and insinuating I'm being taken away from her. Our house is much closer to his parents than my mom, but that wasn't intentional, we walked in and loved it instantly, it also takes my 50 min drive to work down to 30 min, which is amazing.

This all leads us to the actual day I moved in. I had been bringing stuff slowly bc. me and my mom only have cars and don't know anyone who could lend us a bigger vehicle. My fiances family gave us a bunch of furniture they wanted to get rid of, saving us THOUSANDS of dollars. I had let my mom know in the months and weeks leading up to the day I moved that they gave us a lot, its not permanent furniture or new/ fancy but I love it for the time being. We get my stuff in a couple car loads and as I'm showing her the house she breaks down crying exclaiming that I left her out of everything, how could I do this to her, we are in his parents backyard, she never wants to meet his mom, etc. After we got back to her house to get my cat, I walked in to her talking to my stepdad on the phone and I can hear him yelling abt. me. I end up sobbing and having a panic attack before leaving.

It's been a month since we moved in here and I love it, but the drama continues to drag on. I get texts from my stepdad asking me why I leave my mom out of things and to see her, do stuff with her, talk to her[all the while I'm continuously having to text her first and initiate the only contact between us and she wont come to my house]. My mom and step dad are convinced I've done all this intentionally to hurt her, even going as far to ask a relator friend to look into records of who "ACTUALLY" owns our house[surprise it's us]. We had a plan that after I moved I would pick her up on Thursdays, we would pick up my niece, and come back to my house and spend time together. She won't come to my house, cancels every time I try.

I'm not at all equipped to handle this amount of family drama but have talked to my brother about all three of us having a family meeting. I understand I should've tried more to include her, but any time I'd talk abt. it she would cry and the convo went nowhere. I'm not mad at her or even my stepdad, I feel a massive amount of guilt, I miss her, but at the same time the reaction to this doesn't seem rational to what actually happened. I'm in a really bad headspace abt. all this and feel so much pressure to fix it. It's torn us a part and changed everything cause now my mom hates my fiance and his family. It has all gotten too complicated and I'm confused and overwhelmed.

I’ve long had suspicions that my dad might be cheating on my mum, but I’ve never really had anything even close to proof that he is.

Recently, both my younger brother and I asked him to be our guarantor, a process that required him to provide his bank statements. My brother asked him a little while ago, in September, and apparently, my dad was very reluctant to provide them, despite having done so for both my brother and me countless times before. He apparently mentioned that they were his private information and questioned why anyone should have access to them.

A little while later, more recently, in October, I asked him to be my guarantor and also requested his bank statements. He didn’t push back and immediately agreed, although it took a little while (two weeks) and multiple reminders to get the documents.

I needed six months’ worth of bank statements. However, after countless reminders, he sent me only one month’s statement from a couple of months ago. I reminded him that I needed six months’ worth, starting with the most recent month and working backwards. He said he’d send them, but I later had to remind him again. He eventually sent the statements, but something caught my eye as I was putting together the documents.

On a couple of separate occasions, he’d received MULTIPLE calls, which he ignored, while we were together, both in the evening and during the day. Without me even asking who was calling, despite already being suspicious, he said it was just work colleagues trying to swap shifts with him.

I didn’t question it, but that was the first time I had a real reason to be suspicious. Why would work colleagues call so many times without getting an answer? Why wouldn’t they respect the fact that he wasn’t picking up and try again later? Why would they be calling in the evening? The caller ID said “Lucy” (a fake name for privacy).

Fast-forward to when I was putting together the documents for the guarantor process. I immediately noticed Lucy’s name appearing among his most recent transactions, alongside a large sum of money (over £600). I immediately checked all the transactions and realised that, every month, my dad sends Lucy large sums of money around the same time. The first payment is around £600, followed by another of around £200 each month.

My heart immediately started racing. I’ve known this information for close to a week now, and my heart is broken.

My suspicions could be completely wrong, and I think the only way to find out is to have a conversation with him. I came across a post while researching this topic, and someone in the subreddit mentioned that they’d want their child to have a conversation with them if they suspected them of having an affair.

Please note that this is the first time I’ve had what might be evidence that something fishy is going on, but there are other things that have made me feel this way in the past, even before all of this happened.

I need to have a conversation with him, and I’m looking for advice on how best to approach it.

Please, I’m not looking for people to tell me to mind my own business, that I might ruin my parents’ marriage (if he is cheating, then he’s the one who did that himself), or anything along those lines. Those kinds of comments aren’t helpful.

TL;DR My dad might be cheating on my mom and I want to have a chat with him about it.

My parents divorced when I was under ten years old. They both remarried and that’s been the family structure I’ve known for my entire life. When I was maybe seventeen or so, my grandmother slipped up and made a comment that implied my dad cheating was the reason for my parent’s divorce. I hadn’t given it much thought since I was so young when it happened, but things finally clocked into place. I confronted my dad about it and he admitted it. I had even been introduced to the woman he cheated on my mom with as his “new girlfriend” on more than one occasion.

Over the years, this has kind of faded into the background and it wasn’t something I thought of actively. However, now that I am married myself and I see my dad getting older, I start to lose respect for him more and more. I don’t know if it’s because I couldn’t see myself cheating on my spouse or what, but it’s made me bitter towards him. For the most part, he was a very good father; he was always supportive of my hobbies and was there to help me when I needed it, but I would never say he was someone I looked up to, or someone that I would ever want making a speech at my wedding (does that make sense? I know I’m already married but it was the best analogy I could think of lol) But now I just can’t get this nagging thought out of my mind that it’s all tarnished by the fact that he’s a cheater. I guess I just don’t respect him at all anymore and I feel guilty. Has anyone ever been in this position before?

TL;DR: my dad’s infidelity affects me more as an adult than it did as a kid, even though it’s what caused my parent’s divorce and a complete 180 of my life.

They are putting their children out of democracy and same rights?