Hello, all you lovelies :3, I'm in a bit of a tough situation where I want to help, but I don't know what to do, so I consult your swarm intelligence.
I've made a new enby friend, let's call them Charlie. Charlie currently has an oestrogen-dominant body, and I think they want to change that, but I obviously won't ask for what exactly they want. I really like Charlie (they seem like a great person) and just need to help them be the person they are, but I kinda don't know what to do.
Charlie's worst issue seems to be their voice - they HATE their voice. They despise it, it makes them physically uncomfortable and so sad, just observing them contemplating it makes me sad. That is not just to them being trans, they also have ... trauma I cannot elaborate on. What I can say is that I felt and understood how and why their female-typical voice is such a dreadful thing to them.
So I have two major questions (and a little bonus, for fun):
- What kind of compliments or observations do you like to hear about your voice? They liked when I called them "handsome", but I don't think that adjective can be used for voices. I also cannot say their voice is "very deep and manly", because that would currently be a lie, and Charlie is far too smart to be lied to. So what can I say? What kind of descriptors make you feel more masculine-comfortable with your voice even when you know it's in female range. Is it "clear", "outspoken", "firm and charming" etc. I just have no idea at all. Please tell me, how can I make Charlie feel better about their voice (and give them the feeling that it isn't that feminine) without lying?*
- What are good (online)-resources on training for masculine voice? I am, as they are, well aware that testosterone will fix that to a large degree anyway. But again, I don't know what they want, and also getting there would take time. When affirming their current voice and making them feel less self-hatred over it is one side of the medal, helping them in shaping their voice the way the want is the other. How can they work on their voice being less of the (bad) voice they hear in themselves?
- What do you like to sing to feel good? Charlie likes music, and we had been vaguely talking about things like going to a Karaoke bar. They also mentioned that, when singing in school, they tried to sing Tenor and stuff. So, what kind of songs (irrespective of genre) do you like to sing along to, that make you feel good and masculine in your voice, but without them being too deep and technically infeasible for you. In other words, what songs do feel deeper and more masculine-resonanced than they actually are? How can I find music Charlie can enjoy singing along to, just let themselves be?
* And don't say "just tell them how you feel about their voice". I cannot - I very much like listening to Charlie's voice, but I find it to be pleasant, melodical and so full of liveliness. I'd tell them that their voice is beautiful, because that's how their voice seems to me. But how I feel about their voice is completely and utterly irrelevant, and giving them the impression that the kind of feminine voice they have (which reminds them of a certain other person's feminine voice) is the very last thing they'd want to hear, so the last thing I'd ever tell them.
Thank you in advance for all the help you can provide 💜 (also, I hope proper flair, since it's non-binary but masc-leaning and of course binary trans guys' advice is also wanted)