The title says it all. I’m disappointed that the guy I’m talking to isn’t voting in the midterms. Am I making too much of this?

was supposed to see a girl on a 2nd date

got scheduled quite last minute on the same day, she flaked 30m before the decided meeting time saying a family member has come over so let’s do some other day

surely they didn’t come over unannounced out of the blue, how would you reply to this? Feels like she’s playing hard to get

As the title says - i wonder why some men dont put what they're looking for on the apps. I usually swipe left on them because it seems like a waste of time if i am looking for a long term relationship and their profile has no indication of why theyre on the apps.

I know its not a fully informed decision, but i would just like to hear from men - even if their profile doesnt say anything, are they still interested in a long term relationship. Also, why dont ppl put that information up? Is it because of shame, or being secretive or something else?

Opinions appreciated!

What are some key mistakes made by men in today’s dating landscape. Especially interested hearing from other women

Tried every possible bit of dating advice for meeting people. I have tried apps, volunteering, group sports, and speed dating. I enjoy volunteering and sports even if I haven’t met anyone to date and have made male and female friends through those and continue to do them regardless of their “value in dating”. I am thinking of approaching women I find cute in public but keep getting conflicting advice so I’m lost on what to do. Many on reddit say to NEVER approach women as it is weird and creepy but idk how else to meet people. Is there a way to respectfully approach someone I like when I am out running or at the coffee shop? What could I say to them?

For context, there’s this trail that goes right by my apartment complex that I go for a walk on almost every day after work. There’s a very attractive woman who appears to be my age that must have the exact same routine as me because we cross paths frequently. Sometimes she’s talking on the phone and doesn’t notice me, most times she smiles and we say hi. Is this a weird or potentially creepy place to ask for someone’s number? I would hate to scare her off or make her feel uncomfortable to use the trail again. I’m just so over the dating apps, but at the same time I hate doing the whole “cold approach” thing sometimes for this exact reason.

Men or people in general ofc.

Why do they string you along, saying they want to date you? Then not really date? I was pretty clear, I told him that I am okay with casual. I really was. I liked him but I can just manage my own feelings. He said he wants more and wants to see where things go. All he does is send reels and flirt. Lot of sexting.

Like I said. I didn't mind this. I would have enjoyed this a lot more if he just said he wants casual. The chemistry was great. Clearly, there is no future. I got caught caught up in the cycle, chasing some great "chemistry".

I have stopped talking to him obviously.

How do I deal with this in the future? It's soo hard to tell. I think am very clear but people confuse me soo much. I feel like something is wrong with me?

First date was fun, invited me to sleep at her house, having sex 3 times

After a week, i sent her a message for another date, she said no

Girls why you do this ?

I'm a 32M. I met a woman 34F at my brother's wedding and we got along well. The next day, I texted her:

Me: “Hey! It was super great meeting and spending some time with you yesterday. I'm not sure the next time I'll be in town, but I'd love to take you out next time I am.”

Her: “It was great meeting you too! Blank has a fantastic brother! We should all hang out again for sure.”

I interpreted “we should all hang out” as a polite way of declining a date. I replied:

“Message received. Thanks again for all your help, blank has a fantastic friend in you! She mentioned some Harry Potter bar night of some kind so that may be in our near future. Anyway, have a safe flight, and give your dogs lots of cuddles when you get back.”

She responded by telling me to give my cat some affection, and I sent her a funny cat GIF. The conversation ended on friendly terms.

My intention with “Message received” was to signal that I understood the implied rejection and wouldn't continue pursuing her. I wasn't offended by her lack of interest, and I don't think she was intentionally being ambiguous. I simply interpreted her response as a soft rejection and lost interest in pursuing anything further.

My general philosophy toward dating is that you're interested or you're not. I don't mean that everyone must know immediately whether they're attracted to someone, or that people aren't entitled to take things slowly. I mean that I'm not interested in pursuing someone when I haven't received a reasonable indication of reciprocal interest. I don't want to convince someone I'm worth dating, compete for their attention, or continually interpret ambiguous signals to determine whether I should keep trying.

If someone prefers a low-pressure group setting before considering a date, that's entirely reasonable. I just expect them to communicate that preference clearly enough that I don't have to guess. I'm not owed anyone's interest or clarity, but I am entitled to decide that ambiguity isn't something I want to invest in. If she's interested in going out sometime, the ball is in her court.

My brother's wife thinks “Message received” was a significant overreaction and could have sounded offended or passive-aggressive. She compared it to responding to rejection with something like “I guess I'll go fuck myself.” My brother thinks it was perhaps a little too strong. His wife also suggested that the woman might have wanted to get to know me in a low-pressure group setting first, and that my response could have closed that door.

I understand that possibility, but I don't see it as my responsibility to pursue every possibility or preserve every potential romantic opportunity. I would rather accept the possibility of a missed connection than continue pursuing someone without clear evidence of mutual interest.

Was “Message received” unnecessarily pointed, or was it a reasonable way to acknowledge what I interpreted as a soft rejection and signal that I wouldn't pursue her further?

Thanks!

Edit : so my life is sort of in flux at the moment due to life stuff. Im near by, about 90 minutes from her. And may be moving closer. She was aware of all that before I asked her out.

2nd edit :please include your gender in your awnser. Im curious if there is a gender divide on this.

I (29M) have been dating a woman (36F) for about two months. We see each other two or three times a week, and we're very affectionate with each other.

Early on, she made it clear that she believes in monogamy and prefers to date only one person at a time. She seems like a serious person, but she's also quite private about her personal life and tends to keep her dating life separate from the rest of it. For example, she seems uncomfortable with the idea of introducing me to her group of friends as someone she's dating, but would be more comfortable if they just saw me as a stranger.

Recently, she mentioned meeting up with a male friend (she explicitly referred to him as a friend). Around the same time, I noticed that her distance on Tinder had changed, and I also saw that she had Hinge installed on her phone.

Given that she previously told me she doesn't like guys who date multiple women at once, I'm not really sure what to make of this.

Should I bring it up with her? Part of me feels like having this conversation might just put me in a vulnerable position without actually resolving anything. After all, if she wanted to lie about it, she could easily do so.

So I had been dating around - had a rota going through the apps but am looking for something serious. In the past dating one person at a time hasn’t worked and I decided to date multiple. I liked 2 and slept with one of them on Wednesday on the second date (let’s call him H) this is after I’d been on 3 dates with someone else (let’s call him A) I really liked A but at this point had not been intimate with him and was very attracted to H I had also been in a 1 year dry spell, which played a role. After sleeping with H I realised I still like A more. On my last date with A this really escalated and we slept together. In the meantime things with H mutually ended. I guess I feel guilty because I wish I’d just waited for A and feel sad that I slept with someone after meeting him - I’m worried I may have tainted our potential love story. Anyone else had a similar experience or opinions on if this is common?

I’ve been in a relationship for several years now, and we def have issues but this post isn’t about that. For background - we have known each other since middle school, began dating in college, and he is not the most social but an athlete but isn’t into drinking or anything. In college, which he just graduated from, he had one main friend (ofc others beyond but not that he wanted to like go out with or live with haha) anyways, my boyfriend has always been respectful toward women and the words he uses toward them, around me at least. But, the past year or two I noticed that my bf (M23) uses the term “chick” or “chicks” to refer to women, but only around his college friend. I like the college friend too, although he’s never had a great relationship with a girl and definitely says some stuff, which I call him out on, but as weird as it sounds, is as innocent as it gets when it comes to saying rude things about woman. I think he’s a great guy but insecure and once he became friends with me it seems it honestly helped!

Anyways, im just curious how other people (women and men) feel about the use of “chick” when talking about someone else. Again, my boyfriend only uses it around him, and when he does it’s like “oh that —- chick” with the —- part being nothing rude, nothing flirty, and nothing offensive, but still. I don’t think I really care but it’s just been in the back of my brain for a while so I decided to post on here about it. Even if he doesn’t mean to, is this a term men use in any sort of degrading way/sexualizing way, or anything else beyond just another word for girl?

Thanks!

For context we work for the same company, but I’m full-time in a more junior position. He’s there only a handful of times per month. We are both single.

We went for work drinks on the weekend, and after all the bars closed the group slowly started to hail taxis etc. it was just the two of us left, and we went in search of one more beer (to no avail).

We ended up walking through the city together for about an hour, sitting on footpaths and outside service stations on the floor talking about life and relationships (mostly) until 3am.

He opened up to me about his past relationship and how badly he was hurt by it , and the current woman he’s ‘seeing’. He said there’s not really a spark but it’s going well and he hopes it develops.

While we were walking he put his arm out for me to hold it and was general quite tactile. I mentioned that my best friend was also single and getting a lot more action/attention than me (TRUE), and he said “you’re just fishing for compliments now, you know you are”, which I presume…meant attractive?

He also leaned into me when we were sitting on the curb qnd kissed my head (like the top of my head, my hair!) He said we could get a taxi home together as we live kinda close, but I wanted to get my own as I didn’t wanna seem desperate. He was texting me when I got home to see if I was safe and we kinda texted for a bit having ‘banter’.

I can’t tell if he sees me as like, a little sister vibe, or if this is subtle flirting? Obviously I know ‘don’t shit where you eat’, but I see him max x4 times a month. When we’re in work it feels awkward almost. I feel tension but I’m not sure if I’m just projecting my own hopes onto it. I’m soo attracted to him but I’m trying to not make it glaringly obvious incase I’m reading into this totally wrong.

Also for context, I’m not drop dead gorgeous, but I am ‘conventionally’ attractive, to a degree. I just am trying to figure out if this is his very subtle ‘co-worker appropriate’ flirting..or he just likes me as a person enough to want to hang out?

My partner and I have been together for a couple months. I’m really comfortable with him and he makes me feel really safe. Last night we were intimate and he hit a spot no one usually hits. My initial reaction was to giggle. This caught him off guard because it’s never happened for him, nor I. It ruined his confidence. Now he’s deciding if he still wants to be with me and I have no idea how to fix it. Any advice would be appreciate.

I met this really cute guy at work but I'm 19 and he is 17. He turns 18 before I turn 20. I think hes cute but im unsure about pursuing anything with. Im definitely not going to do anything till after he graduates.

I’m really confused by the narrative online that being against porn and wanting a monogamous relationship in all ways is ‘controlling’. I have never watched porn and am demisexual so I only am attracted to people I am in love with, so porn attraction is impossible for me. If I want a man who is like me porn is a humongous indicator he is not at all like me. I’m not are how someone could be aroused by porn but not be attracted to the women in the videos, that doesn’t make sense at all. I don’t think he should have arousal to anyone but me and same for him. I am aware this is rarer and I am perfectly fine never dating or marrying and saving my virginity if the only other option is a porn watcher. So why is it controlling to want a man who is only attracted to me like I am with him…? I think it would be rape to force myself to sleep with someone I personally believe is cheating on me (porn use) and I’d never do it. I want a man who only sees me naked at all while we are dating. No other person naked. Or it’s cheating

But what I don’t get is how it’s controlling to expect someone to do something I am ALSO doing? I wouldn’t be ever watching porn or viewing any men naked or masturbating thinking of other men

I have native American in my bloodline. My great grandma was full blooded Cherokee. And I guess I got a gene that a lot of natives have that makes them grow very little body hair. I have basically no hair on my chest And stomach besides a small happy trail. Facial hair doesn't grow great either. I'm 29 about to be 30 and one great thing about natives is they got great head hair. I have thick hair and haven't lost any of it (my dad started thinning at my age) but anyway, do women find that unattractive? Do they want a man to usually have hair on their chest or stomach?

So a barista basically is super talkative and asks me questions when I go in and if another person is taking my order& she’s making coffee she would wave at me and come talk w me and if I come in she would smile at me. Anyways whenever we talk she asks me questions and tries to make the convo not die down and keeps lingering until I end the convo. Today I got my order and there were literally customers behind me but she asked me questions and teased me about smthing etc. I asked for hwe number and she gave it. I texted her like 20 min later& she said “hellooooo, just a heads up I have a bf. I said oops sry or smthing cuz I was thinking mb she gave me her number as friends or smthing but now I think about it the way she talks/ looks at me there is def more to it. And she approaches me all of the time since I would never make a move on someone working somewhere since they might be ksjdt nice / doing there job. She told me today she likes horror movies a lot. What should I take from this?

I honestly don’t even know where to start because this whole situation feels like something out of a movie, and I need an outside perspective before I drive myself insane overthinking everything.

I (25F) met this guy (29M) on Hinge a few months ago. We’d both recently gotten out of complicated relationships, and neither of us was looking for anything serious. I was coming out of a toxic 4-year relationship, and he was also trying to move on from his breakup. On top of that, he was moving to Japan soon and I was planning to go to Japan myself in January.
So, objectively, the timing couldn’t have been worse.

We matched on late June, and from the moment we started talking, everything just clicked. We texted nonstop, stayed up talking all night, and ended up calling until 6 a.m. on the very first night. It felt so natural, like we’d known each other for years.
We decided to meet that same week. When he saw me he kissed me in the middle of the train station right there. I swear, it felt like a movie scene. We had an incredible first date, and I saw him again the next day. During dinner, he told me he had never expected to connect with someone so much in such a short amount of time. He said it had never happened to him before. I felt exactly the same way.

The very next day I was leaving for a two-week holiday in Italy, so we agreed to slow things down a little. We both knew we didn’t want a relationship, especially since he was leaving for Japan soon and I wouldn’t be moving there until January.
When I returned from Italy, we saw each other quite a few times before he left. On his last night, I suggested booking a nice hotel near the airport so we could spend some time together before his flight. We went to a fancy restaurant for dinner, and later we packed his things together in the hotel room. We were joking around like an old married couple because his folding was genuinely terrible lol. Everything from that evening felt like straight out of a romcom.
That night, we spent hours talking in bed about everything that had happened since we met, how crazy our connection was, and how unfortunate the timing was.
We agreed that neither of us wanted a relationship or long distance because we’d both tried it before and it hadn’t worked.
At some point that night, I told him I loved him.
I KNOW how crazy that sounds after only a month, but we’d been talking literally nonstop, and I genuinely felt something I’d never experienced before that early. I wasn’t saying it to get him to say it back or to make him commit to anything. I just wanted to be honest about how I felt. He was really kind about it, but obviously didn’t say it back.
The next morning, he left for Japan.
Initially, we kept in touch quite regularly. Eventually, our texting slowed down, but we never completely lost contact. We’d text every few days, reply to each other’s stories, and we would somehow always end up on those really long calls/facetime
once every 10 days (they were not scheduled, just what was supposed to be a quick call ending up being a 6hour facetime/call)
And this is where things get confusing.
We talk about everything, and we always somehow end up talking about us and our connection.
I genuinely feel like he enjoys our calls as much as I do. I’m naturally quite expressive and tend to be the one who talks about my feelings.
At one point, I told him I sometimes felt like things weren’t reciprocal because I was much more explicit about my feelings than he was. He told me that just because he doesn’t express his feelings explicitly doesn’t mean they aren’t there, and asked whether I really thought he’d spend so many hours enjoying every bit on the phone talking to me, and that he does think about me randomly during the day.
And honestly, that left me even more confused because I don’t think he’s indifferent to me, but I also have no idea what exactly he wants.

We had agreed from the beginning that we weren’t exclusive, so I eventually asked him whether he’d been dating other women in Japan. He told me he’d dated quite a few women.
He told me all of this very matter-of-factly. He wasn’t trying to make me jealous or anything, and I acted like it was completely normal because, technically, it was.
But I’m not going to lie, it hurt more than I expected.
I haven’t really pursued anyone else, not because we agreed not to, but because I simply haven’t felt like it. I think a part of me had assumed that what we experienced together would have a similar impact on him and that he wouldn’t be particularly interested in other people.
Obviously, I know that’s not how it works, and I don’t think he owes me anything. But finding out about the other women made me question whether I’d overestimated how significant our connection was to him.
The thing is, I’m moving to Japan in less than two months.
And he has actually told me that, if things continue the way they are, he would meet me at the airport and we’ll go back to where we left off.
He’s brought it up himself, and it feels like we’re both keeping the door open to seeing what happens when we’re finally in the same country.

I don’t think he’s a bad person, and I don’t think he’s necessarily leading me on. We’ve been honest about not wanting a relationship, and he hasn’t broken any promises.
I feel like I’m stuck between accepting that this might just be a beautiful connection that happened at the wrong time and hoping that, when we’re finally in the same place again, we might actually get to explore what this could become.

Has anyone ever experienced something like this? Am I setting myself up for heartbreak by holding on to the possibility of what might happen when I get to Japan, or should I just let things unfold naturally and stop trying to figure everything out?

For some context I’m 17 and in high school, and my issues have nothing to do with looks or personality, I just don’t know where to find women I will enjoy talking to.

I’m 6’0 flat and a decent - good looking guy at best (the worst comment I’ve ever gotten about my looks was comparing me to someone who didn’t look all that bad, most other women I ask say I’m cute.) As for my personality I have been able to make a lot of friends and keep them and I’ve been told by many people I’m mature and friendly, so it’s not an issue of women not being attracted to me , I just don’t know where to find them. At my school, none of the girls there really interest me, I’m not too fond of white women (not just white women, but generally the beach and shopping lovers , because I’m not that kind of person.) I think really the biggest issue with me is I’m just kind of a loser outside of my looks and my personality. I don’t leave the house much, because I don’t really enjoy doing anything other than playing video games. I don’t want to force myself to go to clubs and activities I won’t enjoy in public and just kind of “try to find a girl there”.

I don’t know if this post kind of contradicts itself by me saying I won’t go out and do anything , but I’m kind of stuck because I’m not interested in many girls. I’ve had one girlfriend before that I liked, It’s not impossible for me to be attracted to anyone, I just don’t know how to expand my circle.

Please help me all advice would be appreciated! Thank you 💕

I am 23/F and my boyfriend is 24/M and we’ve been together since high school and it’s been seven years going on eight this December. To everyone we seem like the picture perfect couple we were so in love with each other and we still are.( I think) there hasn’t been a day we don’t speak to each other. We’ve been seeing each other every single Saturday for the past seven years as well . Now our relationship is not perfect. I feel like we are both at different types of love stages and maturity levels. I feel like I love him too maturely and by that I mean, we both were working jobs and for years I paid for everything for the both of us, it’s a little TMI, but when we first started having sex, he wanted to use condoms. I was the one buying condoms for about two years until we decided not to use protection anymore. I would be the one that got out of my way and plan dates and to go see him all the time even when I didn’t have a car and now that I have a car, I’m still the one that constantly goes to see him. He’s the type of person that likes to stay inside sleep all day and do nothing which I understand because he works a night shift, but I don’t work a Night Shift. I’m a healthcare nurse. My whole career is built off of taking care of somebody medically and physically and emotionally so when I put all that emotional and physical effort into work to go see him on the weekend just for us to sleep all day really is been making me feel a certain way even when we go on date when we’re in public, he doesn’t really hold my hand. He doesn’t really look at me or pay me any attention sometimes even snap sacked me into you reading this. It might sound like he’s the worst boyfriend in the world and hates me but every time I’ve mentioned us breaking up or taking a break or having space he tends to snap out and become extremely emotional I’ve told him that I feel like in this relationship all he wants to do is have sex sleep and keep me around. I’m 23. I’ve spent seven years with him doing nothing not going out not going on dates not going on jog, hikes or walks and when I do mention these things, he doesn’t wanna do them and he gets extremely upset just recently we went to a haunted house and he paid for the tickets, but he barely looked at me and didn’t hold my hand the entire night and when I mentioned it, he said it was because he wanted to be aware of his surroundings. He doesn’t like the fact that I smoke weed in occasionally take shrooms but I tell him sometimes I feel like that’s the only way that I can enjoy myself around you and we’ve gotten into the age where everyone around us is having babies and living with each other, but I don’t think I can see myself being with someone like that. He makes my every single day life tasks difficult he makes me depressed, and the only way I can tolerate being around them without snapping out as if I smoke weed. I don’t know if that’s somebody who I wanna have a kid and live with and start my whole life with but we’ve been together for so long. I’m afraid to move on and start over frankly be alone. Any advice?

Every year It’s the same story from me I always end up getting far and end up losing last minute and not getting a gf was this year? I had my first relationship. It went pretty well. It only lasted a month because she wanted to end. It tbh I am still a Virgin and a failure at Love I get played a lot because of my looks and tbh I am a nice person but I don’t think I was ever meant to deserve love as some never make it unfortunately I never made it I don’t see the point in trying anymore. After all these years it’ll probably be the same and it’ll just add up every year. It seems to get worse and worse. I’m just so tired man I swear I see everyone getting girls easily and I’m so cursed. At it

I definitely need some help on this one. Like the title said, I recently tried out speed dating. I had a great evening to be honest. I enjoyed getting to know the women, had some interesting conversations, even managed to talk with some of the men who were attending, it was a very enjoyable experience. But I received 0 likes. Not a single one of the eleven women was even a little bit interested in me, as it seems. And as a 25 year old absolute beginner (never went on a date or anything romantic beyond that), well this humbled me. I struggle with my self esteem and social anxiety anyway, and that definitely didn't help. And I just don't know what I did wrong. I was genuinely interested in them as people, I made friendly compliments, and got along with everyone. I know I'm not some naturally charming guy, I didn't expect a lot. I would have been happy with a single match. But I didn't even get a single like! So should I even bother, what do I do from here? Whatever I have been trying (apps, mutual friends, parties, clubs, various activities) nothing ever worked. Where do I go from here? What is there left to try?should I just give up?

Hey everyone, I need some advice about a girl who works in the same office building as me.

My office is on the 1st floor, and her office is on the 5th floor.

One day, I was in the parking area when I noticed her looking at me and smiling, even though she was talking on the phone. My friend was standing with me, and he also noticed it and said that she seemed to be smiling at me.

Later, when I came back after leaving my friend, she was still looking at me and smiling. As I was leaving, I turned around and noticed that she was looking at me again.

However, two days later, I saw her in the lift with her senior, and she seemed to ignore me.

I then sent her a follow request on Instagram, which she accepted. I messaged her:

Me: Hii
Her: Hlo
Me: Kaise ho?
Her: Achi hu, how's you?
Me: Good
Me: Aapko building mein dekha hai kaafi baar, toh socha hi hello bol du.
Her: Hehee hmm, I know. Koi ni, acha kiya hi hello karke.
Me: Wohi, saamne se hello bolne ka mauka hi nahi mila kabhi, toh yahan hi sahi.

I'm confused about whether she was just being friendly when she smiled at me or if there could be some interest. I also don't know whether she ignored me in the lift intentionally or was simply busy or uncomfortable talking in front of her senior.

My questions:

Do you think her smiles could indicate interest, or am I overthinking it?
Does accepting my Instagram request and replying positively mean anything?
Should I continue the conversation, wait for her reply, or talk to her in person if we meet again?
How can I approach her naturally without making things awkward since we work in the same building?

I'd appreciate honest advice. I don't want to misread the situation or make her uncomfortable.