Hard to admit, but sometimes after making blunder after blunder while playing online against, say, a 1000-rated player, and getting frustrated at losing and making the same mistakes over and over, I notice that I am mindlessly drawn to one of the many YouTube videos of slow runs or speed runs. You know the ones I am talking about? Like where a grandmaster calmly talks through the position, engages people in the chat, instructs the viewers, and plays a five-minute game in real time while crushing some 2000-rated opponent with the calm confidence of a grizzly bear knocking a fish out of the water.
How the hell can you talk AND calculate? How do you not hang a piece every fourth move?
But they win, almost inevitably. It's like a scripted reality show. You know sort of how it will end but still gratifying to watch.
It's as if the GM had seen every single possibility, every line, every move the opponent could make. There's no moment of panic, no surprised “Oh, I hadn't considered that move” or “Oh shit, I didn't calculate that line.”
So beautiful to watch that confidence, that ease. And here I am, instead, spending 2 minutes per move in the middle game and still messing up.
I remember one video where the GM suddenly stopped talking and started thinking for a while, and I thought, Oh, finally, a GM caught unprepared. But then he said something like, “There are lots of options, but I'm trying to find the prettiest mate.”
Something about that is so addictive. To eventually reach that level.