Do you have conversations outloud as if you were talking other people? You are well aware these people don't exist but you make up people and talk to them as if they are in your presence. These people are part of your imagination and serve different roles. You are imagining them and you know they are not real, but you allow them to exist and you have converations with them.

Like I swear I think you hate me cuz you sent one less emoji than your usual 3 emojis
Or you used another one

Like wdym by "Ok"??? youre a fucking 19 year in 2026 and youre genz??

Like should i disappear from ur life? am i hurting you? are you hurting me?
Im constantly on edge that youre just going to ruin my life
i cant ever be dominant

I also have a dissociative disorder, so some of my age regression, loss of skills, lower functioning, etc, is due to that and autism: but I also know when ppl talk about us with BPD, they tend to say we can be immature, emotionally underdeveloped, etc

Has being or feeling like that impacted your life?

For example, I've never lived alone, only started working 'adult' (i.e. w2 job and not under the table for acquaintances) in my 30s, have very little relationship experience, etc. Again not all of this would be due to BPD, but even when I'm fully lucid and present, feeling my appropriate age, I just feel so different and behind from my peers. Anyone else relate?

I (20F) was diagnosed very early at 14 and finally having a diagnosis that explained all of my issues was a huge comfort to me. Since then, I’ve also been diagnosed with OCD and Bipolar 2. When I go through my past experiences and take note of different feelings and behaviors, I feel like my parents are so quick to minimize everything and put up a wall between me and everyone else with my diagnosis.

For example, Ive never had a “serious” suicide attempt. I’ve had suicidal ideation, I used to self harm through burning or hitting myself, and I’ve tried to harm myself in front of others while having an episode (which would lead to physical struggles). But all of this is dismissed because at least I was burning and giving myself concussions and not cutting. I always attempted to harm myself in front of others, which means it’s only “attention seeking” and not genuine.

When it comes to trauma I have no “big event” or “serious” thing that happened to me. So every time I mention the verbal abuse I witnessed in my family growing up or small traumas that negatively impacted me, they jump to saying “well you were never assaulted or abused as a child like most people with BPD were”. I’m not trying to ever compete or compare with anyone who has this disorder. Anyone who really understands BPD knows that nobody would wish for this. But I feel like I’m always having to justify my pain to them. Anyone else?

So my child has ADHD. He has a problem with defiance and anger. We are working through the assessment and medication process. I’m noticing people do not want to be around him when he is in one of his moods.

When he is deregulated he needs people the most, but he externalizes his feelings and that hurts everyone around him. Frankly people don’t want to be around him when he is acting badly. People say “I’m going to give you space”, “You need a break to go do something else”, etc. However, I feel like he translates it in his head as being abandoned and rejected.

After years of those types of interactions it’s going to turn into rejection sensitivity, or abandonment issues. My worry is that undiagnosed childhood disorders like autism and ADHD because they’re allowed to proliferate throughout someone’s lifetime and their entire personality absorbs, and takes on the mold of the disorder and how it interacts/clashes with the greater world so we end up becoming BPD adults.

Both of my children are neurodivergent. So there is a high likelihood that I also had ADHD or AuHd as a kid as well. looking back I have quite a lot of similar features as my ADHD child and also I see a lot of my personality in him, though we have different genders and I recognize that ends up having a different ADHD presentation plus I had a much more traumatic home life (Dad = Domestic Abuse + Alcoholic + Neglect).

I know we talk a lot about abuse, but I feel like we don’t talk enough about our innate precursors that led down the timeline of life to our adult BPD designation. I wonder how many of us just went undiagnosed as children?

I was wondering how you, the people of r/BPD knew you had BPD?
Do you need a diagnosis and how did you acquire it?
If you’re willing to share I would appreciate hearing some of the daily struggles, big or small you deal with having BPD.

I made a couple of cute videos of me, and when i look at them I simply think how sad it is she’s (me) never okay and suffer so much. What a pity it is that her life is as painful as it is for her, but she still manages to look pretty and happy.

And i get this suicid\\\*\\\* ideation kinda feeling when you imagine how my life will be looked at by my peers when i’m already gone, and they’ll feel sorry for me.

I don’t plan on kms btw. but i do feel like i will die young and this will have been a sad example of what life could look like

👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾

Those of you with BPD who also have a partner, does the disorder ever cause issues when it comes to the sexual aspect of your relationship?

Say you asked your partner for intimate photos, or you tried to initiate sexual contact (verbal and/or physical), and they refuse/indicate that they are not interested or draw a boundary - did that ever bring out any of the negative symptoms or even lead to a split? What’s your usual, immediate thought process after said “rejection”?

i am literally running insane. would love to hear other people's experience living with both disorders. also off topic but there should be a subreddit for bpd women, I was looking for it and realized it doesn't exist

This won’t change much as I have been undergoing treatment (DBT) for a few years now. It is not suspected that I have it at this point it is acted as if I do by my doctor who always seemed a bit hesitant about me being officially diagnosed with it. And according to her it’s not because she thinks I do not likely have it. I’m sure she has her reasons and one of them probably being my mostly inconsistent attendance in therapy due to financial issues.

I get the drugs and little therapy because that’s what works best for my situation right now. It’s what I can afford. So I do go to therapy, get homework, email and have check ins. But it’s not consistent enough for me to make significant progress or as much progress as I could be making.

I was outspoken last session and I told her straight up I want to be screened for BPD and i’m tired of dancing around the diagnosis. Writing this now, I recall another possible reason for her hesitation. She told me that she is not specialized in Borderline Personality Disorder but that she can refer me. I would hate to leave her and I don’t plan on it but I will continue to utilize the various tools at my disposal, and hopefully have more resources and mobility once diagnosed. Anyway, if anyone can speak to me about similar experiences and/or how they reacted or coped after their diagnosis I would much appreciate it! My messaging is open as well.

will someone please talk to me? no one has ever liked me i’m 19 years old and i can’t even type i can’t explain it in worlds how much it bothers me that no one has ever wanted to be with me i literally can barely walk every day i am so fucking deeply humiliated and defeated i can’t go to therapy i have no friends i have no one to talk to

what’s the best way to bring it up really. Id like a diagnosis to find out what’s wrong with me. I’m looking into getting learning accomodations at my university and a diagnosis would help with that.

My mum isn’t familiar with any personality disorders and has an incredibly negative view to anyone with a behavioural or personality disorder. However, i feel explaining bpd to her, she’ll see the symptoms align with me and will understand why i want to get a diagnosis. I just have no idea how to bring this up.

I was accepting whilst with my psychiatrist and kind of relieved to be fair (because I’m in my late 30’s and the last 2 years have been a rollercoaster of emotions and trauma that I’ve been working through from childhood).

The pain has hit me a little in the last hour whilst I’ve been wfh today (and I’ve had little moments to reflect). I’m trying to keep myself busy and distracted so I don’t spiral with thoughts and get anxious, but finding it really difficult especially as I’m going to log off soon.

In just the last few hours the enormity of my relationship patterns and (tumultuous) dating life has started to hit home.

If anyone has any helpful advice on DBT Therapy that would be much appreciated but would honestly also appreciate any kind words/words of encouragement for today❤️‍🩹

30F, AuDHD/BPD

I'm from Lahore Pakistan, where effective affordable therapy is rare. I've wasted huge sums of money on therapy, hoping for it to work but finding out it's utterly useless and a waste of time. Therapists charge too much for a session where there is no learning no outcome, just keep insisting me to come back to fill their pockets without any progress at all.

Im sick and tired of this loop and have wrecked my marriage due to my emotional dysregulation. I want to work on it and get better but im just fucking tired of having no help at all. 30 years of waste

If anyone has any suggestions, any material that can help, or any therapist recommendations, please let me know im open to anything

I have BPD and OCD.

My BPD has caused so much turmoil in my marriage to the point that my husband was done with me, or he thought so until deciding to reconcile. We have three kids combined, and for context, his ex-wife triggers me to no end.

Well, I couldn't help myself and looked through his phone. Turns out when he was "done" that he was sexting her and claims he didn't cheat because they never did anything physically.

My heart is broken, I can't trust him, and I have no means to leave the marriage, even if I wanted to. I still want to be with him, but I don't think with my BPD that I can work through this.

Has anyone been able to deal with infidelity with BPD without it destroying them?

I just wanted to express my gratitude to everyone expressing themselves here- it has in a small way helped me feel less alone with what feels like this abhorrent condition of my existence.

Reading through everyone’s stories and feelings this last month or so has helped me work closer towards trying to understand myself from a place of acceptance and empathy.

I cannot engage in a romantic relationship without it being excruciatingly painful like 80% of the time. From experiencing a perceived betrayal and feeling like I’m carrying so much pain inside my body I’d do almost anything to get it out including smashing my head in or stabbing myself to death to a minor inconvenience that makes me a monster to be around until the other person is sufficiently miserable or I’m tuckered out, I cannot seem to have relationships that don’t make me TW: suicidal or insane. How do y’all navigate this and is it worth continuing to try?

I was diagnosed 6 years ago and re-diagnosed early this year.

When I was diagnosed 6 years ago I honestly didn’t look too much into it. I already knew what it was and was in denial that I had it. I didn’t take my diagnosis seriously and focused more on my other dx’s in therapy.

Looking back now, I really regret not taking it seriously from the jump. I was drinking a lot (4yrs sober now) and it caused me to constantly split. If I had taken it seriously back then I would be in a much better place now.

After being diagnosed with it again, I decided to take it seriously. I deep dived into it and started talking about it with my friends any family, and I also let potential partners know I have it before getting into a relationship.

Now that I’m finally taking the steps towards remission, weekly DBT therapist & DBT class, I feel like my symptoms have become much worse.

Like, I would split a lot when I was drinking and rarely when I was sober. Now I’m splitting somewhat frequently and just destroying whatever is in front of me. I didn’t use to be like this.

Has anyone else noticed an uptick in symptoms once you started working on it and talking about it?

Hello, fellow borderlines.

I'm a guy you might never meet again, someone you'll probably never know personally. But I want to tell you how I feel about living with borderline personality disorder (BPD), what it's done to my life, and why I believe we shouldn't give up on ourselves.

I perceive BPD as something that can be deeply connected to childhood trauma, emotional neglect, a lack of communication, and growing up without having your needs met. I'm a 21-year-old man, and sometimes I feel like my emotional intelligence is years behind where it should be. There are things about myself that I struggle to explain, behaviors I don't fully understand, and emotions that seem to take control before I even have a chance to process them.

I was born exposed to drugs, and my mother abandoned me when I was young. I don't know how much of my life can be attributed to those experiences, but I know they've shaped me in ways I'm still trying to understand.

I'm not here to tell you that BPD is something we can magically cure. I don't have all the answers. But I believe it's manageable, and I believe there's hope for a better future.

The emotional switching is exhausting. One moment, you feel one way the next, everything changes. You find yourself mirroring other people, adapting your personality, and questioning who you really are. You want connections, but sometimes you struggle to maintain them. You recognize that you're annoying people, yet you can't always seem to stop yourself. You want to talk, argue, or say something hurtful, even when part of you knows it's not what you really want.

And then there's the boredom. The constant, unbearable boredom. It can be absolutely infuriating.

I find myself trying to improve my vocabulary because I sometimes feel stupid. I form friendships that last for months, only to watch them fall apart when my behavior changes. Sometimes, I look back at what happened and realize that my own actions played a part in losing someone I cared about. Having to confront that reality is one of the most painful things I've ever experienced.

Imagine wanting to be a better person, recognizing your mistakes, and genuinely wanting to change, yet still struggling with the same patterns. Imagine understanding that something is wrong while not always knowing how to stop it. That's a battle I wouldn't wish on anyone.

I believe that one day, medicine and scientific research may give us even better ways to treat BPD. Maybe we'll understand it more deeply than we do today. Until then, I believe we have to keep learning about ourselves, take responsibility for our actions, and find ways to manage the emotions that sometimes feel impossible to control.

I don't know if all of you experience BPD the way I do. I can only speak from my own life. But I want you to remember something.

**Don't ever give up on yourself. Keep fighting.**

And please, understand that just because a thought feels real doesn't mean it's telling you the truth. Our emotions can create narratives about who we are, what we've done, and how other people see us. Sometimes, those narratives are distorted by fear, shame, anger, or abandonment. We have to learn to question those thoughts instead of automatically believing them.

We are not every thought that crosses our minds. We are not every mistake we've made. And we are not beyond help simply because we struggle to understand ourselves.

Sometimes, it feels like nobody understands what we're going through. Sometimes, even people who experience BPD themselves might not understand our particular struggles. But that doesn't mean we're alone, and it doesn't mean we're incapable of building meaningful relationships.

I'm still learning. I'm still trying to understand myself. I'm still trying to become someone I can be proud of.

And if you're reading this and you're going through the same kind of battle, I hope you keep trying, too.

We deserve the chance to grow. We deserve the chance to heal. And we deserve a future that isn't defined by our worst moments.

Love you guys. I'm out.

Hi! So, I'm pretty deep into my recovery and generally am doing very well with my BPD, but something has shaken me up a few months ago and I still can't fully get over it, even with therapy, so I thought I'd ask for other people w bpd advice and experience.

I have a best friend who is basically family to me, he has done so much for me in all of the possible way, from giving me a place to live in when my mom kicked me out and i was still a minor, to showing me that its okay to ask for help, showing me healthy friendship and becoming the first close person to me that truly made me feel secure and like he won't leave. It's been like that for years, however, our friendship has struggled a bit this year since we both went through rough periods in our personal lives which kind of left us with no resources to help each other (i was grieving my cat and he was struggling with depression at the start of the year)

so that was the start of the problems i think, but obv it wasnt the whole deal since thats a normal occurance in any relationship, this stuff happens. this year he got really into cosplay and started going to a lot of fests, photoshoots and making friends inside the community. ofc i was and am very happy for him and supportive of him, he always wanted to do it, but the problem arrised when he went to my favorite city with a girl (lets call her Sarah) he has known for a few months for a cosplay fest, while ive been asking him to go to that city for years and he always refused. i crashed out hard back then, it was very important to me, but we got over it, he absolutely apologized and tried to make up for it. however, he has been getting closer and closer with Sarah and now considers her his very close friend, they went to multiple cities together while me and him never went on a trip together, he is spending every weekend with her while we havent seen each other in months.

We talked a lot about it all and i know that he still loves me and i am more important to him than she is, she is just extremely passionate about cosplay and always asks him to go everywhere with her, its not even him initiating all that stuff. But i just cant shake off this jealosy, and i already dread having to meet Sarah in person in December when we are going to be celebrating my friends bday. i feel so much anger and helplessness, like its inevitable that she will take my place and i will be sidelined sooner or later. A lot of it is also of course toxic in a way, like sometimes i realize that im feeling angry and upset that he is currently hanging out with her, even though i myself wouldn't want to hang out with him at that day (i just want to stay in lets say), so its not even "shes replacing me" but "i dont want him to hang out with anybody but me, i want him to only have me" which is just fucked up.

Anyone has any advice?