Hi guys idk if this is a normal Bpd occurrence but I feel like I’ve wasted all my potential. I’m still young, in my early twenties so I’ve a whole life ahead of me but I feel like I burned so bright so early on and now I’ve nothing left to give. I can’t get over it, I can’t get over how I achieved nothing concrete at the end. I graduated top of my class in 2025, I worked at a very lucrative company, I had such a beautiful, active life, I was a swimmer and a gym rat and so social and loads of other stuff but due to whatever misfortunes i was plagued with growing up, I burnt it all. And now I can’t get myself back up. I have no belief left in myself. I’m a sloth. I’ve made a mess of my life and I’ve hurt everyone around me. I’m chronically empty, nothing will fill me up, nothing will bring me peace and happiness. I can’t go to work everyday either purely cuz I’m so depressed. I think I flew too close to the sun. Idk what to make of my life from here onwards.

I (20F) was diagnosed very early at 14 and finally having a diagnosis that explained all of my issues was a huge comfort to me. Since then, I’ve also been diagnosed with OCD and Bipolar 2. When I go through my past experiences and take note of different feelings and behaviors, I feel like my parents are so quick to minimize everything and put up a wall between me and everyone else with my diagnosis.

For example, Ive never had a “serious” suicide attempt. I’ve had suicidal ideation, I used to self harm through burning or hitting myself, and I’ve tried to harm myself in front of others while having an episode (which would lead to physical struggles). But all of this is dismissed because at least I was burning and giving myself concussions and not cutting. I always attempted to harm myself in front of others, which means it’s only “attention seeking” and not genuine.

When it comes to trauma I have no “big event” or “serious” thing that happened to me. So every time I mention the verbal abuse I witnessed in my family growing up or small traumas that negatively impacted me, they jump to saying “well you were never assaulted or abused as a child like most people with BPD were”. I’m not trying to ever compete or compare with anyone who has this disorder. Anyone who really understands BPD knows that nobody would wish for this. But I feel like I’m always having to justify my pain to them. Anyone else?

what’s the best way to bring it up really. Id like a diagnosis to find out what’s wrong with me. I’m looking into getting learning accomodations at my university and a diagnosis would help with that.

My mum isn’t familiar with any personality disorders and has an incredibly negative view to anyone with a behavioural or personality disorder. However, i feel explaining bpd to her, she’ll see the symptoms align with me and will understand why i want to get a diagnosis. I just have no idea how to bring this up.

Hi! So, I'm pretty deep into my recovery and generally am doing very well with my BPD, but something has shaken me up a few months ago and I still can't fully get over it, even with therapy, so I thought I'd ask for other people w bpd advice and experience.

I have a best friend who is basically family to me, he has done so much for me in all of the possible way, from giving me a place to live in when my mom kicked me out and i was still a minor, to showing me that its okay to ask for help, showing me healthy friendship and becoming the first close person to me that truly made me feel secure and like he won't leave. It's been like that for years, however, our friendship has struggled a bit this year since we both went through rough periods in our personal lives which kind of left us with no resources to help each other (i was grieving my cat and he was struggling with depression at the start of the year)

so that was the start of the problems i think, but obv it wasnt the whole deal since thats a normal occurance in any relationship, this stuff happens. this year he got really into cosplay and started going to a lot of fests, photoshoots and making friends inside the community. ofc i was and am very happy for him and supportive of him, he always wanted to do it, but the problem arrised when he went to my favorite city with a girl (lets call her Sarah) he has known for a few months for a cosplay fest, while ive been asking him to go to that city for years and he always refused. i crashed out hard back then, it was very important to me, but we got over it, he absolutely apologized and tried to make up for it. however, he has been getting closer and closer with Sarah and now considers her his very close friend, they went to multiple cities together while me and him never went on a trip together, he is spending every weekend with her while we havent seen each other in months.

We talked a lot about it all and i know that he still loves me and i am more important to him than she is, she is just extremely passionate about cosplay and always asks him to go everywhere with her, its not even him initiating all that stuff. But i just cant shake off this jealosy, and i already dread having to meet Sarah in person in December when we are going to be celebrating my friends bday. i feel so much anger and helplessness, like its inevitable that she will take my place and i will be sidelined sooner or later. A lot of it is also of course toxic in a way, like sometimes i realize that im feeling angry and upset that he is currently hanging out with her, even though i myself wouldn't want to hang out with him at that day (i just want to stay in lets say), so its not even "shes replacing me" but "i dont want him to hang out with anybody but me, i want him to only have me" which is just fucked up.

Anyone has any advice?

Back in 2023, I had an appointment with my psychiatrist. He acknowledged that I have bipolar disorder, but wanted to diagnose me with EUPD (ICD-10 term for BPD). We had a debate. He made his points, I made my counterpoints, he made his counter counterpoints. We eventually agreed that I had “traits of emotionally unstable personality disorder.”

As far as I knew, that was it. I went through my medical record for something, and I saw that, shortly after that meeting, I was, in fact, diagnosed with EUPD. Nobody, involved in my care, informed me that I had been diagnosed- which I’m kind of miffed about.

Back in June, I had a bit of a hard time. A mental health social worker came to my house, which I’m so grateful for. He was absolutely lovely. He said, “So you have a few diagnoses.” I got curious and said, “Can you tell me what they are?” He said, “You have diagnoses of EUPD and bipolar affective disorder.” This was before I got my medical notes. Should add that this social worker is not a part of my care, it was more like an emergency support visit and he was the guy who was available. I thought maybe he’d gotten mixed up because, surely, if I was diagnosed with EUPD, I would’ve been told. That was until I saw my medical records.

I have a bit of trauma regarding a very awful event that happened back when I was 16. I ended up hurting myself, ringing a mental health helpline, etc. Then I had a meeting with my psychiatrist. I asked, “What about DBT therapy for the self-harm?” And he said, “That’s usually for people with personality difficulties, which you don’t have. And they might say you don’t have the right diagnosis. Your self-harm comes from your mood.” So now I don’t even have “personality difficulties?” From the same psychiatrist who diagnosed me with EUPD back in 2023???

When I brought it up with my community psychiatric nurse, she was completely oblivious to the fact that I was diagnosed with EUPD.

What is going on? I went from fighting the diagnosis, to accepting it, to now being told I don’t have it. Some clinicians can see it listed as a diagnosis, some can’t. Guys, I’m so confused.

As for right now, I really don’t care about what I’m diagnosed with. I’m doing a lot better compared to a couple of years ago. I take my meds religiously, and as long as I don’t get treated unfairly for a diagnosis, I don’t care. But how the hell did this happen?

M22

I want to preface this by saying I’m undiagnosed but I think there is a chance I have BPD. What I’m about to say has been pervasive in most of my interpersonal relationships before. When I develop new relationships it tends to follow this pattern.

A few weeks ago I developed a new friend group. This was a big win for me because I suffer from autism which makes me feel disconnected from others and extremely lonely. I have always feared that people find me boring and will abandon/reject me, so I tended to pre-empt this by avoiding social contact as a whole. Obviously this has taken a toll on me, and I realise that it is imperative that I form friendships because social isolation has caused my mental health to sharply deteriorate.

They started hanging out with someone I really dislike. This person has made fun of somebody else who was autistic, and also kept calling me nicknames even though I didn’t like it. Just poor vibes from this person. Maybe I’m being too prejudiced, but this behaviour reminds me of the bullies I had at school. Anyway my friend group and I went to this party on Monday and it was good vibes in the beginning. My mental health was okay, I started to feel like I was seen and appreciated, and etc. I even cancelled my therapy appointments. Then they started hanging out with this person throughout the party and even afterwards. I just went home and didn’t talk to them. I shut myself in the next day, and my mental health has gone a complete 180. I feel like they will abandon me for this person and the connection I made was a lie and that I will never find connection. I’ve arranged an emergency therapy appointment, but the earliest is Nov 1.

I’m wondering what kind of techniques or ideas I can implement to better manage this doom loop of rumination. I can’t help but think, “this is happening again”. It’s not the first time - and I doubt it will be the last…

I’m not in a great place right now and I’m going to be honest I feel a bit suicidal. I’ve been distracting myself the last few days with the gym to let out some of my emotions, but I don’t think it’s enough. I don’t have an official diagnosis so I don’t think I can just tell my friends about this, and I’m really scared about what would happen if I told my friends about my feelings. They might think I’m weird, or too much, and eventually stop being friends with me.

I really need someone to talk, I'm doing better right now at least, I'm not crying anymore. But Christ, I just need some light chat or something, a bit of distraction from the pain so I can feel grounded. My DMs are open.

30F, AuDHD/BPD

I'm from Lahore Pakistan, where effective affordable therapy is rare. I've wasted huge sums of money on therapy, hoping for it to work but finding out it's utterly useless and a waste of time. Therapists charge too much for a session where there is no learning no outcome, just keep insisting me to come back to fill their pockets without any progress at all.

Im sick and tired of this loop and have wrecked my marriage due to my emotional dysregulation. I want to work on it and get better but im just fucking tired of having no help at all. 30 years of waste

If anyone has any suggestions, any material that can help, or any therapist recommendations, please let me know im open to anything

A while ago I posted here about a crisis and I was kicked out of my house. I have been hospitalized for a couple of weeks and now I am home again. Despite a lot of medication I have almost everyday a crisis. Hurting the man I love most but I can't find a proper way to stop the crises... I don't want to live like this, I don't want to hurt and molest my husband. I want to be happy with them.

I don't know what to do except go through my very big (c-ptsd) trauma's... I am not who I am deeply inside myself. I feel so much hate for what I am doing. This must stop.

I promised my husband not to kill myself... It's hard but I won't. I guess. I hope...

Thanks for reading!

I was accepting whilst with my psychiatrist and kind of relieved to be fair (because I’m in my late 30’s and the last 2 years have been a rollercoaster of emotions and trauma that I’ve been working through from childhood).

The pain has hit me a little in the last hour whilst I’ve been wfh today (and I’ve had little moments to reflect). I’m trying to keep myself busy and distracted so I don’t spiral with thoughts and get anxious, but finding it really difficult especially as I’m going to log off soon.

In just the last few hours the enormity of my relationship patterns and (tumultuous) dating life has started to hit home.

If anyone has any helpful advice on DBT Therapy that would be much appreciated but would honestly also appreciate any kind words/words of encouragement for today❤️‍🩹

Is anybody else like, absolutely TERRIFIED of special occasions and holidays, even your own birthday because you just know that you’re going to be alone and everyone else has somebody, or in general a group of people or big families to spend their time with??? Any time a holiday is coming up, I always spend like the week before creating every possible worst case scenario that can go wrong in my head before it even happens, just so that I can be idk like prepared for it if something bad DOES happen???😭 this probably makes no sense at all but for example Halloween is this Saturday, and I have a whole costume planned, yet nobody to hang out with, nowhere to go, nobody has invited me out anywhere, and my blood is just boiling that I wish these things never existed.

Hello, fellow borderlines.

I'm a guy you might never meet again, someone you'll probably never know personally. But I want to tell you how I feel about living with borderline personality disorder (BPD), what it's done to my life, and why I believe we shouldn't give up on ourselves.

I perceive BPD as something that can be deeply connected to childhood trauma, emotional neglect, a lack of communication, and growing up without having your needs met. I'm a 21-year-old man, and sometimes I feel like my emotional intelligence is years behind where it should be. There are things about myself that I struggle to explain, behaviors I don't fully understand, and emotions that seem to take control before I even have a chance to process them.

I was born exposed to drugs, and my mother abandoned me when I was young. I don't know how much of my life can be attributed to those experiences, but I know they've shaped me in ways I'm still trying to understand.

I'm not here to tell you that BPD is something we can magically cure. I don't have all the answers. But I believe it's manageable, and I believe there's hope for a better future.

The emotional switching is exhausting. One moment, you feel one way the next, everything changes. You find yourself mirroring other people, adapting your personality, and questioning who you really are. You want connections, but sometimes you struggle to maintain them. You recognize that you're annoying people, yet you can't always seem to stop yourself. You want to talk, argue, or say something hurtful, even when part of you knows it's not what you really want.

And then there's the boredom. The constant, unbearable boredom. It can be absolutely infuriating.

I find myself trying to improve my vocabulary because I sometimes feel stupid. I form friendships that last for months, only to watch them fall apart when my behavior changes. Sometimes, I look back at what happened and realize that my own actions played a part in losing someone I cared about. Having to confront that reality is one of the most painful things I've ever experienced.

Imagine wanting to be a better person, recognizing your mistakes, and genuinely wanting to change, yet still struggling with the same patterns. Imagine understanding that something is wrong while not always knowing how to stop it. That's a battle I wouldn't wish on anyone.

I believe that one day, medicine and scientific research may give us even better ways to treat BPD. Maybe we'll understand it more deeply than we do today. Until then, I believe we have to keep learning about ourselves, take responsibility for our actions, and find ways to manage the emotions that sometimes feel impossible to control.

I don't know if all of you experience BPD the way I do. I can only speak from my own life. But I want you to remember something.

**Don't ever give up on yourself. Keep fighting.**

And please, understand that just because a thought feels real doesn't mean it's telling you the truth. Our emotions can create narratives about who we are, what we've done, and how other people see us. Sometimes, those narratives are distorted by fear, shame, anger, or abandonment. We have to learn to question those thoughts instead of automatically believing them.

We are not every thought that crosses our minds. We are not every mistake we've made. And we are not beyond help simply because we struggle to understand ourselves.

Sometimes, it feels like nobody understands what we're going through. Sometimes, even people who experience BPD themselves might not understand our particular struggles. But that doesn't mean we're alone, and it doesn't mean we're incapable of building meaningful relationships.

I'm still learning. I'm still trying to understand myself. I'm still trying to become someone I can be proud of.

And if you're reading this and you're going through the same kind of battle, I hope you keep trying, too.

We deserve the chance to grow. We deserve the chance to heal. And we deserve a future that isn't defined by our worst moments.

Love you guys. I'm out.

So I have a 3.5 year old boy whom I’ve always tried to encourage independence with. He’s so smart, creative, funny, and kind when he wants to be…but let’s face it. He’s 3 going on 30 and thinks he’s the boss. His tantrums are starting to get out of control and some days it’s hard for me not to explode. I would never hurt him or anything like that but I do worry about splitting in the moment and saying horrible things I don’t mean. Please don’t judge me for this. I just got approved for health insurance so I’m planning on getting my own therapy plus talking to his pediatrician about maybe a child psychologist referral because his tantrums have started turning violent. For the record it’s not like I’m instantly spiraling or anything. I’m actually pretty good at keeping my cool usually, but these last few weeks his anger/attitude/physical outbursts have gotten way way worse and a girl can only here blood curling screams for so many hours before my crazy voice kicks in. The “voice” or my inner angry child technically tells me all the time he would do better with someone else as his mommy and I’m just going to fuck him up so bad he ends up like me. Which is my worst fear, hence pursuing therapy for both of us and I’m even going to take some parenting classes so I can better understand his feelings/thoughts.
Other diagnosed parents how did yall cope? Cause some days I really regret some of my life choices. I wouldn’t trade him for the world…..but some days I’d trade my left hand for peace. (In my house AND my head)

Just got told today that my psychologist is resigning and I’ll only have one last appointment next week. This is all very out of the blue and a shock. This psychologist is the only one I’ve had out of all the others who I’ve truly trusted and felt like she helped. She helped get a lot of my BPD symptoms under control, we had just started DBT therapy a couple months back, I’d been hesitant to start due to some previous poor experiences and now it’s just gonna be all over… I feel such an intense mix of emotions.
How do you deal with the end of a very helpful therapeutic relationship? How does someone have the hope and energy to try and trust someone new?
I’m very much feeling abandoned and I’m not sure what next steps I’m meant to take. My psychologist did give me a recommendation but I’m not sure I’ve got it in me to look into it

This is probably my fault, but I wanted to get approval on a shift cover at work, so I sent a message in the group chat. Managers were replying to other people but not me, so I thought it wasn't going through. This led to me unsending and sending it again multiple times as well as messaging a manager directly and eventually tagging a manager (I kept deleting them as well so there weren't multiple messages at once). I'm working on the deleting issue, I know its bad. I'm new, so I didn't know how getting approval works and that you're not supposed to tag specific managers and I got a message from a crew coach (who was very nice about it) but she was kind of getting me in trouble and telling me that someone will see it eventually. I thought that shifts just got approved by the manager that was online. Now I'm stressed that they're going to fire me or stop giving me shifts because I was being rude or irresponsible or something. I know its my fault, but nobody really explained the behind the scenes to me and now I'm completely spiralling. I feel horrible and like I'm being ungrateful for all that the managers do. I know that they're always busy, but I thought they were just ignoring or not seeing my messages because they were replying to everyone else, I didn't realise that managers only approve shifts that they are rostered to supervise. I'm a horrible person, I wish they could see how much this is affecting me and how sorry and embarrassed I feel. I hate how such small things make me completely spiral.

Do you have conversations outloud as if you were talking other people? You are well aware these people don't exist but you make up people and talk to them as if they are in your presence. These people are part of your imagination and serve different roles. You are imagining them and you know they are not real, but you allow them to exist and you have converations with them.

Dear lovely people with BPD, what do you want your FP to do when you block them?

Are you asking for space?

Trying to protect them from yourself?

Or do you want them to chase you?

My pw quiet BPD had already blocked me on all but one platform.

After a misunderstanding, they blocked me on that one too. I still have another way to contact them but I don't want to do that.

It’s been like 4 months since we last spoke, I cut off communication because he wasn’t putting in any effort and I decided to only speak to him if that changed.

I’ve tried to stay strong but I just feel so empty rn and all I want to do is talk to him again… talking to him is the only thing that could make me feel wanted and loved. I don’t even care about the breakdowns that will come with having him back in my life, I just need the highs that I can only get from him.

I hate that I’ll never be able to have a normal relationship, that no amount of therapy or meds could ever be enough to make things at least a little bit easy. It’s always a battle inside my own head, and no matter who wins, I always lose.

i haven't been in a relationship for like 2 years and i've been trying one night stands and casual dating just to feel some sort of connection. But i feel like after we see each other or sleep together everything goes quiet on their end and it triggers my bpd like crazyyy.

Has anyone experienced this

Exactly what it sounds like. I’m constantly ruining relationships and friendships of all kind and even my parents can’t stand me. I’m horrible to around - volatile and explosive I shouldn’t make any friends because I only end up ruining their lives with my attention seeking behavior.
I used to be in remission after leaving a relationship with my ex-fp, but it all started up again a year or so later when I got with my now fiance.
He can’t talk to me because I’m triggered by everyone and everything. He can’t leave me alone because I’ll make attempts on my life or hurt myself. I’m single handedly tearing him down with me and anyone who’s ever cared