Do you have conversations outloud as if you were talking other people? You are well aware these people don't exist but you make up people and talk to them as if they are in your presence. These people are part of your imagination and serve different roles. You are imagining them and you know they are not real, but you allow them to exist and you have converations with them.

I (20F) was diagnosed very early at 14 and finally having a diagnosis that explained all of my issues was a huge comfort to me. Since then, I’ve also been diagnosed with OCD and Bipolar 2. When I go through my past experiences and take note of different feelings and behaviors, I feel like my parents are so quick to minimize everything and put up a wall between me and everyone else with my diagnosis.

For example, Ive never had a “serious” suicide attempt. I’ve had suicidal ideation, I used to self harm through burning or hitting myself, and I’ve tried to harm myself in front of others while having an episode (which would lead to physical struggles). But all of this is dismissed because at least I was burning and giving myself concussions and not cutting. I always attempted to harm myself in front of others, which means it’s only “attention seeking” and not genuine.

When it comes to trauma I have no “big event” or “serious” thing that happened to me. So every time I mention the verbal abuse I witnessed in my family growing up or small traumas that negatively impacted me, they jump to saying “well you were never assaulted or abused as a child like most people with BPD were”. I’m not trying to ever compete or compare with anyone who has this disorder. Anyone who really understands BPD knows that nobody would wish for this. But I feel like I’m always having to justify my pain to them. Anyone else?

i am literally running insane. would love to hear other people's experience living with both disorders. also off topic but there should be a subreddit for bpd women, I was looking for it and realized it doesn't exist

Like I swear I think you hate me cuz you sent one less emoji than your usual 3 emojis
Or you used another one

Like wdym by "Ok"??? youre a fucking 19 year in 2026 and youre genz??

Like should i disappear from ur life? am i hurting you? are you hurting me?
Im constantly on edge that youre just going to ruin my life
i cant ever be dominant

I also have a dissociative disorder, so some of my age regression, loss of skills, lower functioning, etc, is due to that and autism: but I also know when ppl talk about us with BPD, they tend to say we can be immature, emotionally underdeveloped, etc

Has being or feeling like that impacted your life?

For example, I've never lived alone, only started working 'adult' (i.e. w2 job and not under the table for acquaintances) in my 30s, have very little relationship experience, etc. Again not all of this would be due to BPD, but even when I'm fully lucid and present, feeling my appropriate age, I just feel so different and behind from my peers. Anyone else relate?

So my child has ADHD. He has a problem with defiance and anger. We are working through the assessment and medication process. I’m noticing people do not want to be around him when he is in one of his moods.

When he is deregulated he needs people the most, but he externalizes his feelings and that hurts everyone around him. Frankly people don’t want to be around him when he is acting badly. People say “I’m going to give you space”, “You need a break to go do something else”, etc. However, I feel like he translates it in his head as being abandoned and rejected.

After years of those types of interactions it’s going to turn into rejection sensitivity, or abandonment issues. My worry is that undiagnosed childhood disorders like autism and ADHD because they’re allowed to proliferate throughout someone’s lifetime and their entire personality absorbs, and takes on the mold of the disorder and how it interacts/clashes with the greater world so we end up becoming BPD adults.

Both of my children are neurodivergent. So there is a high likelihood that I also had ADHD or AuHd as a kid as well. looking back I have quite a lot of similar features as my ADHD child and also I see a lot of my personality in him, though we have different genders and I recognize that ends up having a different ADHD presentation plus I had a much more traumatic home life (Dad = Domestic Abuse + Alcoholic + Neglect).

I know we talk a lot about abuse, but I feel like we don’t talk enough about our innate precursors that led down the timeline of life to our adult BPD designation. I wonder how many of us just went undiagnosed as children?

I made a couple of cute videos of me, and when i look at them I simply think how sad it is she’s (me) never okay and suffer so much. What a pity it is that her life is as painful as it is for her, but she still manages to look pretty and happy.

And i get this suicid\\\*\\\* ideation kinda feeling when you imagine how my life will be looked at by my peers when i’m already gone, and they’ll feel sorry for me.

I don’t plan on kms btw. but i do feel like i will die young and this will have been a sad example of what life could look like

👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾

I was wondering how you, the people of r/BPD knew you had BPD?
Do you need a diagnosis and how did you acquire it?
If you’re willing to share I would appreciate hearing some of the daily struggles, big or small you deal with having BPD.

I was accepting whilst with my psychiatrist and kind of relieved to be fair (because I’m in my late 30’s and the last 2 years have been a rollercoaster of emotions and trauma that I’ve been working through from childhood).

The pain has hit me a little in the last hour whilst I’ve been wfh today (and I’ve had little moments to reflect). I’m trying to keep myself busy and distracted so I don’t spiral with thoughts and get anxious, but finding it really difficult especially as I’m going to log off soon.

In just the last few hours the enormity of my relationship patterns and (tumultuous) dating life has started to hit home.

If anyone has any helpful advice on DBT Therapy that would be much appreciated but would honestly also appreciate any kind words/words of encouragement for today❤️‍🩹

Those of you with BPD who also have a partner, does the disorder ever cause issues when it comes to the sexual aspect of your relationship?

Say you asked your partner for intimate photos, or you tried to initiate sexual contact (verbal and/or physical), and they refuse/indicate that they are not interested or draw a boundary - did that ever bring out any of the negative symptoms or even lead to a split? What’s your usual, immediate thought process after said “rejection”?

Hi guys idk if this is a normal Bpd occurrence but I feel like I’ve wasted all my potential. I’m still young, in my early twenties so I’ve a whole life ahead of me but I feel like I burned so bright so early on and now I’ve nothing left to give. I can’t get over it, I can’t get over how I achieved nothing concrete at the end. I graduated top of my class in 2025, I worked at a very lucrative company, I had such a beautiful, active life, I was a swimmer and a gym rat and so social and loads of other stuff but due to whatever misfortunes i was plagued with growing up, I burnt it all. And now I can’t get myself back up. I have no belief left in myself. I’m a sloth. I’ve made a mess of my life and I’ve hurt everyone around me. I’m chronically empty, nothing will fill me up, nothing will bring me peace and happiness. I can’t go to work everyday either purely cuz I’m so depressed. I think I flew too close to the sun. Idk what to make of my life from here onwards.

This won’t change much as I have been undergoing treatment (DBT) for a few years now. It is not suspected that I have it at this point it is acted as if I do by my doctor who always seemed a bit hesitant about me being officially diagnosed with it. And according to her it’s not because she thinks I do not likely have it. I’m sure she has her reasons and one of them probably being my mostly inconsistent attendance in therapy due to financial issues.

I get the drugs and little therapy because that’s what works best for my situation right now. It’s what I can afford. So I do go to therapy, get homework, email and have check ins. But it’s not consistent enough for me to make significant progress or as much progress as I could be making.

I was outspoken last session and I told her straight up I want to be screened for BPD and i’m tired of dancing around the diagnosis. Writing this now, I recall another possible reason for her hesitation. She told me that she is not specialized in Borderline Personality Disorder but that she can refer me. I would hate to leave her and I don’t plan on it but I will continue to utilize the various tools at my disposal, and hopefully have more resources and mobility once diagnosed. Anyway, if anyone can speak to me about similar experiences and/or how they reacted or coped after their diagnosis I would much appreciate it! My messaging is open as well.

will someone please talk to me? no one has ever liked me i’m 19 years old and i can’t even type i can’t explain it in worlds how much it bothers me that no one has ever wanted to be with me i literally can barely walk every day i am so fucking deeply humiliated and defeated i can’t go to therapy i have no friends i have no one to talk to

My therapists who I have been seeing on and off for a year now suspects I have BPD and has recommended me to start DBT therapy as he's quoted in a few sessions my emotions are deep and can be alot to handle at times. I am waiting to see a psychiatrist in order to get an accurate diagnosis but the appointment is a few months from now. The emotions and mood swings are very hard to deal with and take a toll on me mentally, physically and especially emotionally. What are some tricks or tips I can use to help with everyday life while waiting to see a psychiatrist?

my bf and i got into a bit of an argument yesterday that was quite honestly my own fault. i feel ridiculous and silly for blowing up the way i did but i can’t stop thinking about it and now he’s at his program (it’s like a day program) and i feel so silly and stupid and like he’s gonna come back and leave me. idk. i try to trust in him cause he’s been through a lot with me but i just feel like i don’t deserve him. i’m a problem. i’m broken. i’m fucked yknow? idk

Ugh. For context, my ex(??) partner and I had been together for a little over a year, and things started getting especially dicey about 2 months ago. I've been back in weekly therapy for about 7 months now and I started ADHD meds about 3ish months ago (honestly has helped a lot with regulation!). I'm far from perfect, but I can't express how much work I've put in to make this relationship work, but everything always seemed to boil down to "your disorder is making you feel big feelings" and "you need to do more work on yourself" - it was invalidating but I also know that I was the one with the disorder in the relationship, not him. He voiced not feeling certain about the relationship and questioned our general compatibility 2 months ago. From there, I tried so hard to prove that I was capable of listening, self-regulating, and generally showing up in the relationship. Everything became about proving myself to him.

Oddly, the more I tried, the more distant he got. Of course, that was particularly disregulating because of the whole "he is leaving me" fear, but I had a good support system to keep me grounded and keep me from making impulsive decisions. Everything came to a boiling point 2 weeks ago, when I was away for a family trip. I was far away, feeling out of control, and was looking for reassurance given his emotional distance (I know I need more reassurance than most, and I try to keep it to a minimum, but the trip was just a lot). He reached a boiling point and refused to talk to me outside of one daily business-email-style text essentially saying "I'm busy but have a good day". It freaked me out, but I let him have space.

He refused to see me when I got back, and wasn't too interested in talking to me on campus (we go to the same college, and share a class together). When we did talk, it was obvious things were going to end. I stayed over at his place for two nights prior to the breakup and things were actually okay for the most part. He had a therapy appointment Wednesday, and dumped me that evening.

I'm not sure what happened, but I didn't cry, I didn't beg. I felt so tired and so cold. I had packed up his things nicely and sent him home when I knew he was safe to drive. I removed him from everything (social media and such), let me support system know what was going on, called people, and went to sleep. I actually slept okay for the first time in months, and my appetite came back the following day with a vengeance (I thought the loss of appetite was from my meds and had lost like 15lbs during the whole thing, so that was shocking). I avoided him on campus (I wasn't mean, I just stayed away) and did my own thing. I made tons of plans with friends and felt okay.

He showed up at my house with flowers 48hrs after the breakup. I was worried about where he was at mentally, so I let him talk. He apologized and said that he made a mistake and had been reflecting on how much he had been doing wrong in the relationship. He said that he had let himself dissociate and it wasn't fair that I had been doing so much work on myself and he hadn't been. He wanted to do things right because he "woke up." All I wanted was to take him back and make it work, but I expressed my concern that he was only doing this because the change of a breakup is scary. He wanted me to come back over to his and stay the night, but (shockingly) I told him that I wanted to take things slow and think over a lot, and that he should do the same.

It's been a week now, and it's been liminal. I've done so much with friends, and have spoken to my family more than ever before. Things feel heavy when I discuss things with him. I feel a great sadness over the separation we have atm. He's upset because he has to make his own Halloween plans (we were going to go out with my friends, and were going as Raven and Beast Boy lmao), and he's upset that my friends don't exactly love him right now. Seeing him struggle with friends makes me feel so mean. My siblings said that I should be meaner, but I just can't.

I don't know what to do. I want to work on things with him. I miss him, but I've missed him for so so long. I'm mad that things feel so complicated this week with plans. I feel awful about not including him in things, but I desperately need the separation right now. I have so much love for him, and I care about him so deeply, but I'm so tired. I feel so regulated without him, and that sucks to admit. It makes me feel like I will never be able to have a successful relationship. I don't want to close the door on him, but I also can't disrespect myself again.

I'm sorry for the long rant, things just feel big and I want more outside opinions from people who understand my brain. Any thoughts are welcome :)

30F, AuDHD/BPD

I'm from Lahore Pakistan, where effective affordable therapy is rare. I've wasted huge sums of money on therapy, hoping for it to work but finding out it's utterly useless and a waste of time. Therapists charge too much for a session where there is no learning no outcome, just keep insisting me to come back to fill their pockets without any progress at all.

Im sick and tired of this loop and have wrecked my marriage due to my emotional dysregulation. I want to work on it and get better but im just fucking tired of having no help at all. 30 years of waste

If anyone has any suggestions, any material that can help, or any therapist recommendations, please let me know im open to anything

A few days ago I was telling my cousin about the things I've been working on since my diagnosis in June. I've been trying to better focus on what I say. Is that logical? Is it manipulative? Is it necessary? Will it improve the relationship? Is it beneficial? Recently I'm always curating what I say and how much of my feelings I show with others, because in past it was bad when I didn't. When I told my cousin this she said, "Wow that sounds exhausting." I agreed and we moved on.

However, I keep going back to what she said, especially ruminating on the word "exhausting". I realized it's ALL exhausting. I'm tired. I don't remember what it feels like to not be tired from fighting my brain. I do what I'm "supposed" to. I exercise, go to therapy, practice my dbt skills, self reflection and self soothing, eat clean, take medicine. I've seen improvements, but I'm so tired of effort and masking. I'm still exhausted. I'm tired of fighting my brain. If I don't do the right things, my symptoms destroy relationships, which is exhausting. If I do the right things, I'm tired from the amount of effort it takes. I know remission is achievable, but the process is so draining.

It all hit me yesterday and I started heavy crying on the drive home from work. I just feel so heavy. I will keep going and putting in the work, but I just wanted to vent my exhaustion and see where others are at. Do any of you feel similar soul deep exhaustion?

I just wanted to express my gratitude to everyone expressing themselves here- it has in a small way helped me feel less alone with what feels like this abhorrent condition of my existence.

Reading through everyone’s stories and feelings this last month or so has helped me work closer towards trying to understand myself from a place of acceptance and empathy.

I have BPD and OCD.

My BPD has caused so much turmoil in my marriage to the point that my husband was done with me, or he thought so until deciding to reconcile. We have three kids combined, and for context, his ex-wife triggers me to no end.

Well, I couldn't help myself and looked through his phone. Turns out when he was "done" that he was sexting her and claims he didn't cheat because they never did anything physically.

My heart is broken, I can't trust him, and I have no means to leave the marriage, even if I wanted to. I still want to be with him, but I don't think with my BPD that I can work through this.

Has anyone been able to deal with infidelity with BPD without it destroying them?

I cannot engage in a romantic relationship without it being excruciatingly painful like 80% of the time. From experiencing a perceived betrayal and feeling like I’m carrying so much pain inside my body I’d do almost anything to get it out including smashing my head in or stabbing myself to death to a minor inconvenience that makes me a monster to be around until the other person is sufficiently miserable or I’m tuckered out, I cannot seem to have relationships that don’t make me TW: suicidal or insane. How do y’all navigate this and is it worth continuing to try?

I was diagnosed 6 years ago and re-diagnosed early this year.

When I was diagnosed 6 years ago I honestly didn’t look too much into it. I already knew what it was and was in denial that I had it. I didn’t take my diagnosis seriously and focused more on my other dx’s in therapy.

Looking back now, I really regret not taking it seriously from the jump. I was drinking a lot (4yrs sober now) and it caused me to constantly split. If I had taken it seriously back then I would be in a much better place now.

After being diagnosed with it again, I decided to take it seriously. I deep dived into it and started talking about it with my friends any family, and I also let potential partners know I have it before getting into a relationship.

Now that I’m finally taking the steps towards remission, weekly DBT therapist & DBT class, I feel like my symptoms have become much worse.

Like, I would split a lot when I was drinking and rarely when I was sober. Now I’m splitting somewhat frequently and just destroying whatever is in front of me. I didn’t use to be like this.

Has anyone else noticed an uptick in symptoms once you started working on it and talking about it?