I really like garlic bread

First of all, I tend to develop feelings for people very easily, even people I barely know or have never interacted with at all. They stay on my mind for a while, almost to the point where I can’t stop thinking about them, but eventually, those feelings gradually fade away. I don’t know if this has something to do with childhood trauma or simply a lack of social interaction and companionship.

I’m a very introverted person, so I didn’t really make any friends until around ninth grade. Because of that, I think I value friendships a lot. Meanwhile, people around me have already started getting into dating and having crushes on others, but even now, I still can’t wrap my head around how two people actually go from knowing each other to being in a romantic relationship.

People are always talking about dating and marriage as if life would somehow be incomplete without romance. Whenever my friends complain about their partners or exes, I honestly don’t understand it, and I even feel a sense of disgust. Watching my friends constantly talk about these things also leaves me feeling a little sad. Am I somehow not enough for them? Spending time with my friends already makes me feel fulfilled. Besides, I’m someone who genuinely enjoys being alone, so I really can’t imagine myself dating anyone.

That said, I do enjoy physical affection, especially hugs and other forms of physical touch.

I’ve always told myself that maybe I’ll be able to date someone once I’m more emotionally mature and financially stable. But then there’s another voice in my head asking, Why should I wait for someone who may or may not ever come along? My life isn’t incomplete without a romantic partner.

I love my friends. I want to tell them that I love them, give them flowers, and be more thoughtful and affectionate toward them. But I’m pretty sure these gestures would be interpreted as romantic, which is frustrating.

At the same time, I absolutely LOVE shipping fictional couples, and I enjoy watching other people fall in love, whether they’re real people or fictional characters. Yet I still don’t understand what makes romance so appealing to people in the first place.

The only situation in which I’ve ever imagined myself getting married is if, someday, I have an EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY close friend and we decide to get legally married as a joke, or simply because we think marriage is a ridiculous concept and want to do it ironically. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind that at all.

Hey I’m kinda new & figuring out where i belong in this spectrum, and a big problem I’ve always had is crushes. I’ve noticed I most commonly get a crush the second I think there’s even a possibility someone else has one on me(and ofc I find them attractive as well), this includes glances, frequent proximity to eachother and even some flirtation, I find it thrilling and enjoyable. I do try my best to keep myself from showing any indication that I reciprocate feelings & set boundaries, but occasionally I slip up & it has become a problem in the past(especially before I realized I was aro). It usually ends in me feeling crippling guilt because as soon as the other person makes any advances whatsoever, like going on a date or even just hanging out more than friends would, I do a full 180 and become kinda disgusted by the entire idea of it. I absolutely do not like the idea of being in a committed relationship with anyone or any romantic relationship whatsoever. I used to occasionally enjoy(?) sex but I feel like my autistic tendencies have been getting stronger & I’ve realized I have pretty bad intimacy issues, so I don’t even want to do that either. Idk what I’m looking for here, maybe just wondering if anyone else has dealt with this? Sometimes I feel like I’m just hoping im aro & just have messed up commitment issues or something is wrong with me.

TLDR: I get crushes & enjoy slight flirtation but my inability to deal with intimacy beyond that has caused conflict, has anyone experienced this and has any advice?

Once in a while id see a QPR of sort where the partners do practically everything youd expect in a typical romantic relationship. They kiss, cuddle, have sex, go on dates, you get it.

Now, its up to them ofc what to label their relationship, but i cant help but be curious why they decided on QPR. I've heard some aros are repulsed by the label "romantic" alone so ig that could be one of the reasons, but im interested in hearing answers from the people themselves.

16M, Hi, so tbh I don’t really know how to explain what I’m feeling or how to describe my experience. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, but I’m not particularly sure about all the meanings and shades Aro and Ace could have, so I’m not sure whether I could be one or the other, or even both. I’d simply like to know if what I’m experiencing has a name and if there r other people who relate to what I’m felling. If I had to guess I think I’m leaning more towards Aro than Ace, but as I said I’m not sure.

So one thing that immediately comes to my mind is that I have absolutely NO interest in dating, nor trying to have any interaction with people with the intention of trying to flirt in the slightest way, it doesn’t repulse me at all, it’s just something that, to me, I find pointless. I have been receiving countless criticis from literally everyone I know about this, yet I just don’t understand them. In my idea a relationship should make your life better, so it has to be something improves your life, but if that something is something u don’t want, how can it ever make it better? Like it’s just something my brain cannot conceive. I just want friends, lots of real friends, I don’t care about dating, kissing or all suff like that, I just want people to feel happy with, to hang around with, and to joke and laugh together, and I don’t see why everyone keeps telling me that I should find this person in a partner, why can’t it just be a friend, which is what I want.
I’ve only had ONE crush in my entire life, and even then it was pretty wierd. My crush was not about the fact that I could get together with that person, that we could kiss or hold hands and stuff like that, it was a feeling I can describe as “I want that person to be my best BEST friend”, I tend to imagine a LOT of things (I mean trying to think about how future events that regard my life could go, prolly caused by my OCD), and I obviously did it to with her, and not one single time I ever imagined something even close to a relationship, but always a close and deep friendship. Anyways after a while my crush died out cause she started ghosting me, cause in the meanwhile she got a bf and I didn’t know😭😭, even then I stopped before knowing she had gotten a bf, because I realized she just didn’t wanna talk to me and I wasn’t gonna force her, but the strange thing is that even though this crush lasted like 9 months, when it ended I felt, not emotionless, but just indifferent, like “oh ok, she doesn’t like me back”, which I find wierd considering how big my crush was and how long it lasted. Also I wanna point out that I’m still friends with this girl, and I even helped one of my best friends get together with her, just to say I have absolutely no hard feelings.
This was a year and a half ago, and as of right now I’m planning to stay single for at least until 25, when I’ll be done with university, and hopefully I’ll have achieved my dream of being a voice actor, but even then, I think I’ll still wanna be single even after. I’ve told people about this, and I do understand why they can find it wierd, but find it THIS MUCH
wired?? I think it’s not wierd at all. I’m not saying it to cope cause I can’t flirt or get in a relationship, it’s just something I simply don’t want at all, reason why I felt so wierd about having a crush the first time

Now about the part that makes me think I could be Ace. I wanna point out that I don’t think I understand completely the Ace spec, so I might just be referring to things unrelated, anyways it’s simply a lack of information, I apologize preemptively.

First of all, I’m bi, which already I believe is the BIGGEST contradiction to being Ace, right? The thing that makes me think that there’s something different is how I approach at physical sexual activities.
First of all, the idea of having sex doesn’t disgust me in any way (once again I apologize if this is just a stereotype, I’m not well informed), it’s just that I’m completely indifferent, I’m not trying to get to do anything remotely sexual with people, I just think that if someone were to ask me, like a sort of “fuckbuddy” I’d definitely agree, if the opportunity presented itself then yeah, but if it were to be like this it absolutely had to be with no feelings for each other (more a problem for the other person, not for me), but I just don’t care, it just doesn’t make any difference for me, I’m completely fine both with and without it.
Another thing I find wierd is how low my libido is, now I don’t know if it’s just a matter of hormones. I di masurbate, and once again I don’t hate it at all, it’s just so less frequently that all other boys my age, like I hear every day how friends of mine come 3 times a day every day, while I’m on like twice a week, which from what I understand is super low.
And lastly attraction, it happens that I see a girl or a boy I find cute, but once again it’s different from what I see of people my age, who , when they see someone they like, they’re usually like “how much I wanna…” yeah, no need to continue, right (unfortunately us of the male gender were blessed with a third of girls’s braincells, in the most cases, such as this one), which not only I find SUPER DISRESPECTFUL, but also completely different from my experience. When I see someone I like, it’s more like when I see a cute dog, in my head I’m like “OMG, he/she is soooo cuuuute” and it ends there.
Also I have never experienced any form of sexual attraction towards anyone, which once again I find kinda wierd cause isn’t masturbating or even the fuckbuddy thing from earlier exactly that? I’ve never experienced it towards someone I know (not even my crush from earlier), but if I were to, it had ti be without fellings? I don’t know how to explain in an understandable way it to be honest.

Sorry to anyone who decided to read all this, and thanks a lot🫶🏻🫶🏻

I always get kind of annoyed whenever I watch a movie and the plot is interrupted or ruined just so the main character can talk to a girl. You all probably know what I'm talking about I just hope I'm not the only one

So I'm asexual but I always thought I'm still romantic, because I do have crushes on people sometimes. But the way other people describe love to me sounds super unappealing and I don't think I'll ever have nor want those feelings.

People say when you're in love you wanna be with your partner all the time, you need cuddles/kisses multiple times a day, you want to do everything for your love and they are the top priority in your life. Like that just sounds too much for me. Even when I love someone, I don't want that person to be the sole reason of my existence.

It'd be nice to have a partner I can move in with and plan a life together but I don't wanna be obsessed with them, and I don't want someone to be obsessed with me all the time, that sounds crazy to me.

Hi all. Apologies if this type of post is frowned upon here, but I looked at the rules and there was nothing against these types of posts.

I’m in 9th grade and I’d say I’ve only really had two major crushes, one in fifth/sixth grade which I developed on a friend and lasted for about a year and a half, ending after I had been going to a new school for about three months. At this new school, I did end up developing a crush on this girl and it kind of consumed me. I thought about her almost all the time, and I often desired kissing her or cuddling or whatever. (omg can’t believe I’m saying this)

Anyway, I switched schools again 💀 And I did end up developing two different crushes over the span of half a year (after taking damn long to get over my previous crush), although looking back, I feel it was just a coping strategy and a search for excitement in the middle of my pretty lonely and sad life (not to get all gloom and doom or anything). When I look back on who I truly liked, only the first two girls I mentioned seem to have stolen my heart. I still think about the second girl to this day and I hate it.

Obviously I feel romantic feelings pretty deeply and constantly hope for a romantic partner someday, I would never get tired of loving them. But to find someone I truly feel romantic feelings towards is very challenging. Am I grayromantic?

Its stupid yet so funny to me, I want a wedding but I disagree with the whole romantic marriage part for myself. Maybe it'd be a person I deeply care for, n we'd get to wear princess gowns, or maybe we could cosplay for our own wedding, it'd be so much fun! freddy fazbear could be the officiator, n the whole wedding would be like playing house. instead of a wedding cake it could be a bunch of funnel cake, or maybe this big strawberry shortcake, and there'd be a shit ton of chocolate fountains. I'd want to have like 3 photographers that act like paparazzi. I'd also wanna dance slow dance together, but also get the chance to go dance crazy with my other friends.

Maybe I'm strange for saying these things, I want this big happy event for myself and a friend but If i were to ever speak these things aloud, I'd probably be looked at strange. Does anyone else want weddings (without the romance)?

Bonjour,

Je viens sur ce reddit en ésperant avoir potentiellement une réponse.

Si je me permet de vouloir savoir si cette personne est aromantique c’est car la personne et moi entretenont une vraie relation forte, on pourrait croire que l’on est en couple mais on ne veut pas de serieux actuellement.

Il m’a bien spécifié que il n’a pas de sentiment pour moi et ne veut pas de serieux de sur pour l’instant.

Alors certe c’est difficile a entendre mais j’étais prévenue. Ce qui me pousse alors a vous demander c’est car il dit que c’est pas forcément moi mais que justement il a ça avec les autres. Alors que il passe du bon temps, il aime le moment avec la personne sauf de loin il a du mal.

Sachant que la définition google de l’aromantisme est : L'aromantisme est une orientation romantique qui consiste à peu ou ne pas éprouver d'attirance romantique, quel que soit le sexe ou le genre de la personne.

C’est l’attirance romantique qui n’est pas aimé, est-ce les sentiments ? Peuvent-ils entretenir une relation équivalent a un couple sans vouloir le serieux et en ressentant des sentiments ou c’est une autre chose plus complexe qui le touche ?

Si quelqu’un saurait m’éclairer je serais ravi, car j’aime moi cette personne et j’aimerai la comprendre car cela ne me dérangerai absolument pas.

Bonne soirée où journée a tous et a toute !

Merci d’avance :)

Anyone else figured out that what they thought were romantic feelings for other people, were just trauma responses all along? I feel lonely in that a bit. I thought i had a huge crush on a guy, just to get disgusted by closeness from everyone else later. Still do not know if i am valid

i think i’m feeling alterous attraction towards my aromantic friend. she’s becoming one of my best friends and i am too scared to tell her about how i feel because i don’t want to lose her. i also feel like there’s nothing to tell anyway because if i confess to her how much i like her, it’s not like i necessarily want things between us to change. i love what we have! i guess i would want more physical intimacy but that can also come with time. there’s this energy between us that i don’t know how to place, and i don’t know if it’s one-sided or if i’m imagining the (good) tension. so all in all i’m just a yearning mess.

how do you navigate this? do you tell them and risk ruining the friendship? do you wait for it to calm down and move on with your life?

Whenever I talk anybody new I start liking them I find them attractive but I just really never love them one day I can’t stop thinking about them the next hours I’m like I don’t need them they’re bothering me no shade I love the attention I get from them the stares and everything but I just I’m never fully in love with them or sometimes I mistake that I’m in love with them but once I’m alone without them or not texting them I feel so normal like we didn’t just have some deep conversation

For context, I am 16, so I haven't had a lot of life to be thinking about romance and the sort. I have dated one person for 2 months and the resson we vroke up is because i just generally didnt love her and felt like i just had to be in a relationship because that shows that your life is going well. It feels as though a relationship is what you must strive for at my age to prove to others that youre a quality person. Some days I feel like a partner would make my life way better because I think that companionship is great in theory but whenever its pit to any sort of practical rigor, i just cant find it in me to love. I was reading "farewell love and all thy laws for ever" by sir Thomas Wyatt, it made complete and total sense to me and I related to it way more than my peers. I think I've had crushes before but I have had zero true desire to pursue any of them. It doesn't help that people usually approach me first for friendships/conversations/to pursue me romantically. What makes it worse is that I KNOW that im bisexual so it feels like if im bisexual and aromantic, then im just some sex crazed weirdo. Im trying to be less self deprecating and I think figuring out myself would really help with that. Im really confused and struggling, any insights would be helpful 🩷

I, am a female, 27 this year. Up until now, I did not feel romantic thoughts towards a man or anyone in that manner. Here is how my mind processes the situation. I will see a man that is visually appealing but then when I think beyond that even slightly, my whole body goes " ew". So, it can't imagine the idea of being intimate with someone and the whole thing throws me off and even gives me anxiety.But at the same time, I never knew what it is like to have a crush on someone since I never did.

The only fascination I remember towards a man is when I was in high school. There was this boy who was extremely intelligent and very kind. I remember him for these two reasons yet can't remember feeling anymore than that. Now here is the thing, I may find a guy handsome or such, but then the moment they show interest my body will automatically start zooming every possible fault, body wise and I will get an ick. And I am not doing this intentionally.

...what is this guys? I just wanna be in a relationship man but it is like my whole body is battling a war.

I've known I was ace for a while, though I've had lots of crushes on fictional characters of all genders throughout my life and one of what I assumed was a crush on another kid when I was 12, but other than that, nothing. For a while I tried out the label aroace, and aego aroace, though I'm still not sure.

There's... a new friend I've been really enjoying hanging out with as of late. Each time we talk, it's really easy to talk to them and we stay up for hours just sharing music and talks about philosophy and the like- and despite being an introvert, I don't seem to deplete my battery much around them.

Now... I began to wonder if I was starting to catch feelings, bc maybe the 5th time we talked I started to feel some slight butterflies in my hands, which sounds weird but it's an indicator for me if I'm starting to catch feelings for someone, and I went through all the circles of hell wondering if it was actually feelings or not- bc even if it was, I'm still ace and they might not be. They might be straight and even if not, there are tons of issues that would keep me single forever even if I'm not aro. I have a fuckton of mental illnesses, I'm disabled, I'm just not a good prospect or really any prospect.

The 6th time we talked, I didn't really feel that, like it quieted down to background noise, so now I'm even more confused. I also talked with a different friend earlier that day and they talked about how they hate being single, how lonely they are, how much they want to fall asleep next to someone, and... I really couldn't relate to that. In all the depictions of romantic love I've seen, people talk about it as though they despise being single and when they're with someone they love, it lights up their whole world.

Even with my fictional crushes, I haven't felt nearly that deeply. I also just love being alone, love having my own bed and love not having to listen to another person walking around and being noisy lol... so I guess I'm back to square one.

I really don't know if I'm aroace, or aego aroace, or what. The idea of being with another woman and being a woman's wife sounds so lovely, but at the same time I feel like I'd also hate having to give up the peace of living alone. And the possibility of them cheating, or falling out of love with me when they realize I'm not enough, and being judged during bad mental health episodes, etc. And ofc I worry if I did have feelings, they'd fade, and I'd be stuck trying to pretend that I feel something I don't.

And from the sounds of it, people who experience romantic attraction are always talking about how they crave living with someone else. So idk. Needing some perspective. Idk where I fit in.

On one hand i dont like the idea of going on dates and i have no desire to get into a relationship and im always scared people ask me out but on the other hand i like the idea of someone i can cuddle with get emotinal and intime and i get crushes on other girls but not like i want a relationship with them

Or maybe both?? Is hier anyone who has been thinking about the Same?? Like are hier other ppl with an fearful avoidant attachment??

I’ve known I was aromantic for a year, however only recently ive been hella jealous of people in relationships. I don’t really know how to go around it, the answer which I can’t get is “just get a girl/boy friend” but i just don’t have the same desire for people as other people do. I’m not sure it’s because I’m aromantic or it having to do with me being autistic but I just struggle getting a relationship, any help whatsoever?

I've been in one relationship and had a short situationship, and honestly, I'm clueless when it comes to relationships. I don't even know how to be a gf yk? Both times the guys liked me first nd I ended up feeling like I had to love them back. I've only ever had one crush in my entire life and it lasted five years. I was pretty young, but that was probably the closest I've ever come to experiencing love. I never confessed, and he eventually started dating my bff so that's how it ended. I've completely moved on tho so don't worry. I haven't genuinely liked anyone like that since.

During my relationship, I constantly felt like something was missing. There was barely any chemistry, and I had this weird ick that never really went away. It wasn't unbearable but it made me question whether relationships were even for me. I love my personal space and the thought of being someone's girlfriend feels suffocating. There's this feeling I can't quite put into words. We thought about it before and that's when I first considered the possibility that I might be aro.

The thing is I don't want marriage or kids, and sometimes I don't want to be anyone's anything. I struggle to form deep connections and sometimes I feel almost empty when it comes to these things. But then I wonder if I'm jumping to conclusions because I've never actually dated someone my type. A couple of months ago i met someone I really thought who is my type and for once, I genuinely enjoyed the thought of being around him. We're no longer in touch tho so I'll probably never know what being with someone I actually like would've felt like.

So yeah, I'm just really confused. I don't know if I'm aro if I simply haven't met someone I'm compatible with or if I just don't want a relationship in the first place. And I don't want to drag anyone into my confusion or end up hurting them while I'm still trying to understand myself

Hi guys.

I'm a bit confused about my identity. I'm 16 and outside of my family I have basically no friends, I'm quite socially isolated due to no one's fault but my own, especially since we recently moved states so totally new much bigger scarier school. But even pre-move I've always struggled at forming close relationships, in fact i can only remember one close relationship i've had with someone who wasn't my family, during elementary school, along with handful of acquaintances. I've never had a crush or any romantic attraction to someone that i know of, but frankly i don't really know what romantic attraction is. No one has been able to explain it in a way that makes sense or justifies it being a different category than friendship. (Wanting to hug someone? Kiss them? be really close with them? why can't this be platonic?) I get sorta obsessed with people platonically, like i want to talk to them more and be close with them but I don't really want to be in anything more than a friendship with them. I've always chalked the lack of crushes up to not knowing anyone well enough to be romantically attracted to them/being a late bloomer when it comes to romance. But when i see family and peers discuss romance they talk about it like it's something that just happens? like a switch and you see someone and you want to kiss them and be a couple even if you barely know them? I'm having trouble comprehending that. I feel like i could maybe be romantic with someone i know really well and am already comfortable with, but just a random stranger? the majority of people can't seriously experience romantic attraction that easy right?
This is made more complicated by the fact I'm somehow simultaneously romance repulsed and desire romance. I think i want a romantic relationship, but I'm super grossed out whenever anyone talks about my relationships like one of us might be romantically interested in each other, I avoid all conversations about who i find "attractive" or who i want to date and my family's obsession with the topic is just so uncomfortable. I feel like I can never tell if it's really romance i desire or closeness w/ another person who's not my family...I know qprs exist, but i can barely figure out regular friendship, let alone a totally new type of relationship with no real set boundaries (I mean are you allowed to kiss in qpr? have sex? cuddle? what are we even doing here?)