My house is haunted. Every time I watch sports, the ghost in the house boos both teams.
He does it just to annoy me. He is so transparent. I can see right through him.

The French football star clarified he meant to refer to Mao as a 'former Chinese dictator'.

Kevin is the new black.

He said they all look that way and I should have left him in the garden.

Nobody told me that the old Tomb Raider games were so difficult to play

The man died a hero!

He forgot to add "...and stuff them in your mouth" when I found out he was serving durian and Limburger.

But if you send me a typo, I will post your profile in the community forums for local cheaters, and block you.

I think I used a bit too much olestra, she's dead

So I changed my currency to euros.

Fun fact the "f" in orphan stands for family😊.

😭🙌🏻

Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.

"That way, if I get it wrong, you have to give me $2000."

You should have seen the Luke on his face.

For some reason, he put the sugar back, and took a mini M&M's tube instead

They were literally called Laughingstocks

A real Pyrex-maniac

I lowered my head in shame and said nothing, failing yet another test in my clairvoyancy class.

He is very much mist.

I love reminding her that there is a reason they called it just that.