I have had primary physical custody of my wonderful 5 yr old for almost 4 years now. The mother is allowed supervised visitation and calls but has been mostly no contact. She has also been homeless and jobless for most of this time. By her own choice as she hasn't been arrested or institutionalized.

How can the court decides to modify her support order which I was already lenient at $200 instead of $400 a month and drop it to $0? I got no notice of this change happening. If she was a man they would've thrown her in jail for non payment since February.

This is mostly just to vent. But I've worked my ass off to raise this child without any support. And the state just let's her accountability drop to 0 for no reason.

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I’m a dad to a 7-year-old boy and honestly, I’ve been struggling with this situation for a while. I’m looking for advice from other dads who have been through something similar.

His mother and I are separated, and we don’t have a formal custody order. We’ve been trying to handle things informally, but lately, co-parenting has become increasingly difficult.

I have him every other weekend, and I also see him Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings to make him breakfast and get him on the school bus and whenever Im off during the week.I cherish that time with him, but the hardest part is knowing how much he struggles emotionally with the separation.

He tells me all the time that he misses me, wishes he could live with me, and has a hard time with transitions between our homes. I reassure him that he’s allowed to love and miss both parents, that none of this is his fault, and that he never has to choose sides.

The problem is that when he expresses those feelings to his mother, she sometimes responds by telling him things like, “If you miss him so much, go live with him.” I feel like he’s being made to feel guilty for expressing perfectly normal feelings about missing his dad. There have also been situations where overnights have been threatened or taken away amid these conflicts, which leaves me feeling like my relationship with my son is being used as leverage.

Aiden has also been acting out more at school, and I’m concerned that he’s having trouble regulating his emotions. He has even expressed that he wants therapy because he doesn’t know how to handle his feelings. I agree that he deserves that support, but his mother has been against therapy and has dismissed the idea because it didn’t help her personally.

I’m not looking to label anyone or turn my son against his mother. I want him to have a healthy relationship with both of us. I’m in therapy myself, and I’m trying to be the most stable, supportive father I can be.

What hurts is feeling like I have to carefully navigate every situation because I’m afraid that speaking up for my son or pushing for what he needs could result in me losing time with him. I want to protect him without putting him in the middle of our disagreements.

I’ve spent a lot of time feeling guilty about the separation and wondering whether I’m doing enough. All I want is for my son to feel safe expressing his emotions, to know that both parents love him, and to have the support he needs.

For the dads who have been through something similar: How do you handle a co-parent who dismisses your child’s emotional struggles or reacts negatively when your child expresses missing you? How do you advocate for your child without escalating the conflict or risking your parenting time?

I love my boy more than anything. I’m just trying to figure out how to do right by him while navigating a situation that sometimes feels impossible. I want to involve the courts but I'm buried in debt from bending to her will. She doesn't want to go to court that was the first thing she said to me. Her new bf moved in within 6 months(dated 4 months after break up)so I feel like theres some confusion with my son

Hej guys i have a very hard time after 2 very stressful years.... i try to sum it up quickly
So on 1.4.2023 my daughter was born and i went on parental leave - i wanted to take it long cause my gf had a better paid job and she did not want to be long away from gere workplace. In my country we can have a lot of parental leave.
Then in October 24 so i and a have year later i wanted to return to my job but they shutdow.n my Department and i was fired.. already felt miserable back then but didn't know why.
Then january 25 i got cancer and had to do chemo...
Moved to my parents becuase my daughter was going to child care and i had a would be weakened during chemo and could get sick fast.
June 25 - chemo is finished and i am happy but got a myocarditis becuase tge chemo was so hard my heart... in about the same time my gf told me that she doesn't want to be with me anymore and i am devastated ... she already saw someone for sex or something like that... details unknown but i saw she had sex dating apps and later lingerie and sex toys bought when I was more often in her appartment...
My world was destroyed i was destroyed...

She said its better without me...
Till 2025 i cured the myocarditis and then in february started to work out and socialize more. It was planned that i would have anouther cancer treatment since my vhemo began but in end of February it was then cancelled. Around thi time i was frequently picking up my daughter from child care and staying with her at (ex) gfs appartment and i always when i am there i am reminded of our relationship and so on - it was our appartment before i moved to my parents...
now i am in a rehabilitation centre which you have to do after bei g sick for long and I feel so lonely and only want my familiy back.

I feel so worthless at this point having lost my job then living with my parents ( its very hard to find an Appartement here when you are unemployed) and without my family... the loss of job, health and relationship in just 9 months of time fucked me up bad. I wanted fron her to give me another chance... the reaponses are mixxed ... and i feel just that my life is pontlesss at this moment...

My whole daily mood is always dependent on how my Call with gf was or how nice ahe is to me and so on.... my thoughts are only spinning around this and i am so afraid that she will have another man eventually...

I know that i need a new job soon and i will look for one. Good thing is that i am financially covered.

But socially i am a wreck, becuase you lose a bit contact with people when you dont work for so long ( april 23. ) and also i got just very few friends left but everybody with children....

I just want to move on, dont let myself be dependent of her mood and treatment but also want her Back even after how she lect me when i needed her the most.

Sorry guys for the long post but I needed to vent..

TL; DR from parental leave to job loss to cancer and then being single dad.... trying to get over her ...

My daughter has been in advanced classes since 6th grade. She has done reasonably well maintaining a B- to B+ average over the years. This year she is sitting at a C- in a few classes. I have a pretty rocky co-parenting relationship with her mom. I want to discuss my daughter's classes and performance with her mom but am afraid it will come across as me telling her she's not doing her part to make sure my daughter is staying on top of her school work. I talk to my daughter about school regularly and push her to do her best, but I'd like to be on the same page as her mom making sure she's getting schoolwork done. Any tips or advice in bringing up her school performance with her mom whom I really struggle communicating with are appreciated. I want my daughter to succeed. Especially since she has high school credits on the line this year.

Previously posted on “single parents” but would love some advice from the dads, especially now more info has come to light.

Upon their return from a holiday with my ex, my 5 y/o mentioned that an adult friend of my ex’s entered a room without any clothes on, and specifically mentioned having seen said adult’s genitals.

Though I’m certain nothing further untoward occurred, and it could have been accident, I was repulsed by the notion of another adult apparently parading around naked while other families were sharing a common home. Personally, I avoid being nude in front of my child, and couldn’t imagine being nude in front of someone else’s.

Just to be clear, this didn’t happen in the changing rooms of a swimming pool, or something similar - it happened in a room of the holiday home they were staying in.

I’ve mentioned this to a couple of other people who didn’t seem to think it was a big deal. This thinking at least seems to come from the fact the other adult was the same gender as my child, both female. To me, this should make no difference, but that’s only my opinion.

I did approach my ex about this and, alarmingly to me, she has shut down any conversation about it, just denying it, and rejecting the specifics of the situation.

Am I overreacting in my concern?

EDIT: today I tried asking my child a little more about this, and they got sheepish before stating that her mother had told them not to tell me such things, and claimed they’d “accidentally” said it. I’m even more concerned now.