Since it’s no secret not everyone did.

I often hear that divorces happen because of many reasons such as infidelity, not being sexually satisfied and so on.

But I wondered, did you still feel attraction towards your ex partner?

I'm at home. In my study. At my desk. I'm doing my remote work. There is light music playing. Maybe it's raining outside. Or snowing. There is a fire in the fireplace. A cat or two is lazing about the room, unconcerned with me.

And over there... in the armchair... is my partner.

She's on her laptop. Or reading a book. Or fucking knitting something, I don't know. But whatever she's doing, she's there doing her thing, I'm here at my desk, doing my thing.

The "us" that she and I have created is in the room. So is our bond, our connection, and our feelings. But we don't have to be engaged in the same activity for that to be true.

We belong here, in this room. Both of us. We belong next to each other. Our presence is anchoring the other. Our quiet presence is bearing witness that the other exists and deserves love.

I get up to go to the kitchen, and as I pass her I stop, kiss her forehead, and tell her how much I love her. And I do.

Five minutes later I'm back at my desk, and life goes on. She comments on something she reads. I grunt in response. She knows what the grunt means, it's our own language.

This is a safe space. Neither of us are at risk here, exposed, pressured, or exploited. No one's vulnerability is weaponized. No one raises their voice. Disabilities, disorders, triggers, and traumas are all understood and respected here. We are both pathologically monogamous to a fault... and neither of us ever even questions the other's fidelity. There is no need. No one has to perform. No one has to strive to meet demanded expectations. We're just here, just being.

We are very fucking safe and sound. Accepted. Known. Loved.

We're sexual. I don't necessarily have to make love to her just because I can. She knows I can. She knows I might. She knows I might lose myself when she flashes some skin and just fucking take her if that's what she's after. Or not. It doesn't matter. Our cups are filled anyway.

I don't pretend that stress won't enter this room. Hardships. Struggles. Pressures. Maybe even tragedies. But what we have will weather them. We never even doubt that.

This is home, and it's just one wonderful day out 1000s like this. We're not rich, powerful, prestigious, or particularly important to the larger scheme. But that's okay. We have something better and it's ours.

Later that night, we’re in bed. I’m doing a crossword puzzle. She’s… playing a game on her phone maybe. Sudoku, Who knows.

She knows I will fall asleep spooning her. I may not wake up that way, but I will fall asleep that way. And if she moves in the night and makes a noise, I've been with her long enough to know: she needs a blanket. And I get it.

And tomorrow, we get to do it all over again.

None of this is asking too much. And yet the world seems determined at every turn to make sure I don't believe it's possible.

I know it's possible.

But probable? That's a different matter.

I dream.

48M. I am currently going through divorce. One of the things she recently told me after we started the divorce process is that she is at the lowest point in her entire life and that she thought about grabbing one of my guns and just ending her life.

I guess the thing is, I told her months ago that I wasn't happy in our marriage, that I didn't think we would work, and told her the reasons why. Her response was: "Oh I think we will" I was definitely having a 100% honesty day that day, and I can't believe she so easily brushed off what I was saying to her. She has done NOTHING to help address our marital issues. A couple years ago, she had accumulated about $20k in credit card debt and didn't tell me about it for over a year. I almost left her then. Since then I have caught her in little white lies.

There are other issues we have been going through. I handle every aspect of our lives. I'm the ambitious one. She makes really poor financial decisions (obviously) and it's on me to pay all our bills, and I am constantly having to steer her away from causing our financial ruin. We split household chores so that's not an issue. Her daughter, who is 20, lives with us and is an absolute slob. My soon to be ex wife doesn't do anything about it despite me expressing that I never signed up to live with such a messy person. I didn't know she was that messy before we lived together. Her daughter doesn't contribute to the house at all actually, and whenever I bitch about it, it falls on deaf ears. A couple months ago, I could smell a feet and ass smell through her closed bedroom door. She just works, doesn't pay any bills, and lives in my house rent free. She is "supposed" to be saving for college, but after a year of working, hasn't saved a dime.

Anyway, back to the ex. There's a part of me that doesn't feel the least bit sorry for her. She should have seen this coming. I told her it was coming.

I feel like her threatening suicide is a way to emotionally manipulate me, and I don't like it.

So for a bit of context, I asked for the divorce. We have been together over 20 years and drifted apart so much that the relationship had just run its course and it was over. That’s it. No love, no communication, nothing in common. He stopped seeming interested in anything about my life so eventually I gave up too. We talked about the kids and nothing more. Honestly I was gone years ago mentally bc I felt so unwanted. There were attempts to fix it, but bottom line we just aren’t each other’s people anymore. He didn’t put up a fight when I explained things, how he made me feel, how far gone our relationship was. Clearly he felt the same.

Fast forward 6 months and we’ve barely had any progress in the divorce. It’s slow AF and I’m losing my patience. We’re still living together. He stopped doing any work around the house. No laundry, no dishes, no cleaning, nothing. He didn’t take care of the pool that our kids swim in, it started to turn green. He didn’t do any yard work around it so it looked abandoned. The only thing he did once a week was mow the lawn. The gym has become his priority. He sees the kids for about an hour a night after work before going to the gym for several hours. He is the one that gets them ready for school in the morning with the help of his mom every single day. So he’s not actually doing anything himself. I have tried communicating with him to help more. I’m doing dinner, cleaning and bedtime with the kids on top of entertaining them between school and bedtime. I love having the time with the kids but it can be exhausting. And if we’re in the house together right nOw I don’t think it’s fair it all falls on me. I left laundry on the couch to be folded, he sat right next to the pile for days and played Xbox. Finally I did like 6 loads of folding and told him he needed to put it away which he did.

Once a week I go out and do my own thing. When he has the kids I asked that he be the one to take care of the dishes and things that he uses with them. Nope. They’re sitting there for me when I get home. I stopped doing them thinking he would understand. Nope still sitting there. So I flat out asked can you unload and load the dishwasher, it’s not fair I’m the only one doing this . All he did was wash the stuff needed for school the next day emptied the dishwasher. The sink is still full. This is so freakin petty.

Now mind you, all I said I wanted out of the divorce was my equity in the house. I don’t want his money and I’m not trying to go after all I can, and there’s a lot to go after. His mom has talked extremely poorly of me to our children, saying I’m a bad mom and that I need to clean more instead of going out all the time (I don’t clean if a mess was made on his time with the kids because he stopped doing anything). She has made snarky sounds when I tell my kids I love them and has hidden my face in family photos around my house. It’s really insane. He has never once stood up for me. If my family was doing or saying anything bad about my kids father I would tell them they can be respectful or they won’t be around. It’s so hard to wrap my brain around. This could be the most amicable divorce ever but he has his mom (and probably dad) peeping in his ear about what he should be doing. He won’t talk to me about anything, says it all needs to be through the lawyers so it’s taking more money and more time. I’m just fed up.

End rant.

I was married to the love of my life for 17 years. We were together for 20. We have two teens, a tween and a second-grader. She cheated on me and my teen daughter discovered it and it really screwed her up. My older son wants to graduate next year and disappear. My tween son hates his mom and cries almost every day. My second grader begs us to get back together. I am a combat veteran but I cannot handle this anymore. I appreciate everyone who has offered advice here. Please don't ever cheat on your partner. It destroys families. I'm sorry.

TLDR:
Do I move out for something cheaper but better in some ways? Or stay where the kids currently feel comfortable and see it as the family home even though we have only be there for 4 months. Do we physically separate homes during the holidays (sounds like chaos if I'm the one to move and I love Christmas and he shits on all holidays)

My ahole husband drops a bomb before we even cross the border to our new home state after 16 yrs marriage and 20 yr military retirement. This was June 15. We have been living together trying to keep things "normal". Told the kids 9/26. Things could be final by dec 1. He's ready to move on and we are both looking at places trying to decide who stays and who goes. My kids like where we live. But everything I would get from him would go to keeping the house and utilities. I do well enough for my field but would love something that is about $500/month cheaper. I took my kids to a home that seemed to really be great for me and $500 cheaper and smaller footprint so lower utilities. The home is equidistant to everything our current home is. And the neighborhood amenities are better (we ditched our first rental to be closer to family when he told me but it was much more of a home with a pool and after living on military base for 10 years, our kids were mad we ended up in similar housing, so I am trying to find something that feels like an upgrade). We have been in the home 4 months so I'm thinking my kids aren't emotionally attached but they have made comments to my mom they like it and before all this was like I don't want to move again. I took my kids to see the home last night to get thoughts and just see how they are feeling. My youngest, 13 commented "blow up a family and get 2 houses". He's right. But his dad did this and there is nothing I can do about it. He looked visibly ill and anxious but said he liked it and said it was nicer. They didn't get a say in this current rental. We chose our first one 3 months before we moved, built it up. Dumbass drops a bomb and I'm sneaking around looking at new rentals and then we just said surprise we decided we wanted to be in the east valley to be closer to family and friends. They thought we were crazy but rolled with it's my youngest just gives us crap about not having a backyard. So I really want to give them a choice in this since so much of this outside their control.

With all that background here are my questions to this hoping for some insight from those with experience and benefit of hindsight:

Do I a) suck it up $ wise (I'm fine just less discretionary income) to remain in the only house they know and like? And move when lease is up if it's not working? B) move to this house. The ahole got pretty excited when he thought I might move out which makes me not want to move out because it feels like he is winning and getting what he wants. When it's my idea it feels empowering but when he gets involved I'm like nah you leave. C) do we think there is any symbolism to who moves out? Like will I be seen as "leaving". Can I reframe it them in a way that's not "leaving" My oldest said why don't we make dad live in the tiny house lol. They haven't asked who started this but I'm sure they have a good idea. I did tell them I don't know who is moving but this home popped up and I just want to look at it because this home is more affordable for your mom.

And any thoughts on dividing a home during the holidays? I'd like to wait until jan 1. He can't wait for it to be over because he's a selfish man child, but I'm concerned my kids will always have this associated with the holidays. I Know everyone is different, but is it something they get over? Or is it a wound to add to everything else? My youngest who is amazing hasn't really connected with friends here. It crushes me. He had a great friend group in FL. My oldest 15, has one good friend, but both are using a lot of tech to distract. I'm concerned the physically separating now makes it worse...or maybe it's easier to see their parents (hopefully) happier and thus them happier?

Sorry I'm wordy. Any insight is appreciated.

I need help or advice from some of you further down the road than me.

I have recently asked my husband to seperate, we no longer have any shared dreams or goals, we are all but flatmates. We have been married for 11 years, together for 20.

I am deeply mourning the loss of our family unit - what could have been. We have two young kids in junior school, and I know this process will be rough.
How do you move through the weight and stress of the idea that the ideal family unit, what we’d always cherished, is no more?

I want to hear what your parents did right vs wrong in communicating about the divorce as you got older.

My daughter and I have a very close, honest relationship. In the early days of divorce I had no clue what to do so I did say some judgmental things about my cheating ex in front of her (and have since apologized) but now, 1.5 years later I don't say anything. He is currently dating his side piece (they both got divorced to be with each other) she asks me things about him and I say thats not something I want to discuss. Its odd for me because I am open about everything - dating, friends, my life... shes a preteen so shes very curious AND her dad is very secretive. She has two very different experiences - I am a yes, lets find a way parent and hes an auto-no and very controlling parent. She openly complains about this difference regularly.

I do wish I could tell her he cheated but of course I won't - I thought she may figure it out but I worry when she does later she may be angry with me? Like I was part of the lie.

I would appreciate perspectives from adults who had divorced parents or divorced folks with older kids. What did you appreciate, hate or wish your parent had shared or not shared? TIA

TL;DR: STBX is moving out of our marital home this week, backing out after 1.5 years living there and claiming to buy me out. The house is listed at $450k with no offers, and court is set for February. I'm renting for $2,200/mo while splitting the $2,000/mo mortgage carrying costs. Trying to figure out what I should do.

Background & Context

• Location & Family: New York State. Two kids (7 and 4). 50/50 custody agreed upon.
• Court Date: February '27 scheduled for alimony, child support, and final asset distribution.
• Home History: My STBX originally wanted to buy me out based on a $436k estimation. A formal appraisal in April came back at $510k, which she balked at. She recently purchased, or someone purchased for her, a new home and is moving out in a few days.
• Current Listing: Listed 2 weeks ago at $450k; zero offers. We are about to drop the price by $10k.
• Mortgage & Title: I am the sole owner on the deed/mortgage (3.0% interest rate). Mortgage is $2,000/month.
• Current Rent: I rent a small home month-to-month for $2,200/month (requires 45 days' notice to move).
• Financials: Currently carrying ~$40k in credit card debt.

Options I'm Weighing

Option 1: Move back into the marital home

• Pros: Saves me roughly $1,200/mo in double-carrying costs ($2,200 rent + $1,000 half mortgage vs. full mortgage/utilities). Gives kids a larger space. Keeps low 3.0% rate.
• Cons: Requires buying out her equity via home equity loan (on top of my $40k CC debt), making my budget razor-thin. I dislike the idea of maintaining a 2,000 sq ft / 0.5-acre property and would prefer living elsewhere long-term.

Option 2: Rent the house out (e.g., 6-month lease)

• Pros: Could rent for ~$3,000/mo, covering carrying costs and yielding positive cash flow until re-listing in late spring/early summer.
• Cons: Tenant management, risk of property wear/tear before a sale.

Option 3: Stay aggressive on price cuts and sell through winter

• Pros: Clean break, liquidates equity to pay off credit card debt and finalize divorce distribution.
• Cons: Splitting carrying costs on a vacant house while waiting for a buyer.

Questions:

1. Has anyone navigated renting a marital property short-term while awaiting trial/settlement in NY?
2. From a financial/divorce strategy perspective, does it make sense to move back into a home I ultimately don't want to keep just to stop the cash bleed?
3. Any advice on handling real estate pricing strategies during a fall/winter slowdown?

Thank you!

To any men who went through a divorce in their 50s and whose partner had been struggling with mental health issues at the time - what was it like? and how do you feel about what happened now?

My partner asked me for a divorce couple days ago. I’m so lost. Like I keep asking myself.. what do I need to do? My mind is racing and thinking I need to do this and that and oh can’t forget that. I’ve also been sleeping because if I sleep I don’t cry.

I am recently separated and will be heading to to India soon and dreading my extended family members. They still think we are still together because we don’t live in India anymore. I have been carrying the lie for a while to avoid intrusive questions. Marriage is glorified in India and my in always and extended family are connected. Another reason why no one knows about it, also because nothing has been formalised. Would love to hear how you navigated.

My husband (39) and I (33) have been together for 11 years and married for 4. We have two daughters, ages 12 and 4. My oldest is from a previous relationship, and we own a home together.

Overall, we get along really well and don’t have any major issues or frequent arguments. However, one of our biggest ongoing problems has been the unequal division of household responsibilities. Most of the cleaning, cooking, and general household management falls on me. Now that we have a younger child, I’m also responsible for most of the mental load when it comes to childcare, such as arranging daycare, knowing when she needs new clothes, booking medical appointments, and keeping track of her needs. I don’t include my oldest in this because her dad is actively involved in her life.
We both work full-time, and I understand that having young children can sometimes mean your marriage and relationship take a back seat.

Four years ago, about eight months after our youngest daughter was born and we got married, I discovered that he had been secretly using cocaine socially for five years. This completely crushed me and changed the way I saw him. We worked through it and stayed together, but I don’t think my perception of him has ever fully recovered.
He works hard and provides well for our family financially, and I appreciate that. He does contribute to the household and does things for the kids, but I often feel that providing financially is where most of his contribution ends. The bigger responsibilities, particularly major cleaning, household management, and the day-to-day needs of our youngest, largely fall on me.

Our intimacy is another issue. We have sex, but I don’t feel like my pleasure or experience really matters. There’s no foreplay, and the sex itself often feels like something we do rather than an intimate experience we share. We don’t flirt, and there’s very little affection, intimacy, or connection throughout the day.

I’ve brought up both issues multiple times. Things improve temporarily, but eventually we fall back into the same patterns. When I try to talk to him about our sex life and suggest ways we could improve our intimacy, he says he hasn’t really thought about it and doesn’t know what to do. When I bring up other concerns, he tends to shut down and apologize for not meeting my expectations or doing enough, but the conversations rarely lead to lasting change.

I recognize that I have things to work on, too. I can become easily overwhelmed and sometimes react emotionally when I reach my breaking point. I’m in therapy and actively trying to understand myself better and improve how I manage those feelings.
For a while now, I’ve been contemplating separation, but I feel stuck. I love him, and we have a life, a home, and a family together. At the same time, I feel unhappy and increasingly disconnected from him.

I’m struggling to figure out whether this is a relationship that can be repaired or whether I’m holding on because of our history, our family, and the life we’ve built together. I don’t know how to reconcile the fact that I love him with the fact that I’m unhappy in our marriage, and I’m finding it difficult to know what the right decision is.

I recently found out that my husband of 17 years had cheated and planned to move in with someone else.
I engaged a lawyer to start legal separation and asset division approx 3 months ago. I am already stressed about finances and how I am going to afford the lawyer fees, however, he is really dragging his feet, says it’s not what he wants and he’s finding it hard to disclose his finances which given the circumstances is incredibly selfish in my opinion. I have been put through hell and just want to conclude this shit show of a marriage.
Has anyone else been through similar and had difficulties getting their ex-spouse to comply? If so, how did you manage to get things moving without it draining the bank entirely?
Any advice would be much appreciated

I have been in a sexless marriage for 15 years and found out a week ago that my husbands tales of impotency and lack of desire are a falsehood. He also has masturbated every day we of our relationship and lied about it (I wouldn’t otherwise care about masturbation). He prefers to look at other women or think of less threatening versions of me apparently. I immediately initiated a separation. The only reason he finally told me the truth is because I reconnected with an old bf on fb a month ago and told my husband about it and my need for sex - for the millionth time. I feel so used and like so many years have been wasted.

We broke up six months ago after 10 years together. Four months later she’s moving in with her new girlfriend. And now it’s her new girlfriend’s birthday with an Instagram post that mirrors her post from mine last year. Down to the same emojis. Olivia Rodrigo’s “deja vu” playing on repeat in my head.

I truly do love being single. I recently spent three hours chatting with a guy on a dating app and told him I’m tired after three hours of messaging and said if he wants to do gelato next week to let me know. He responded and said “I’ll consider it since 3
Hours of your time is supposedly wasted now that’s a decision I’ll have to think about “ I told
Him I didn’t say it was wasted just that I’m tired then he said “hmm interesting being tired means I’m
Not worth the time or attention I suppose seems like you operate on your way or the highway and don’t consider others” I told him I do consider others but have other things to do in my daily life besides texting

Lord almighty haha

Good day, I am new to this - my husband and I are separated from bed and table from 17 July 2025. On 17 January 2026 he mentally abused me again and I had to get another place to stay. I have still go home 2 - 3 times a week to fetch stuff and drop off stuff. On the 28th of February 2026 he got locked up for sexual abusing my grand child that stayed with us for 2 years so I was forced to go back home because of the animals and all our stuff that was in the house. Now he is out on bail and he is attending the case every month but he is staying on the property. He refuse to work because we are married in community of property. I must pay for everything. My son and his wife also stayed with me for the time when I was alone but now he saying they must also pay. We are paying wifi and electricity, he is sitting in a room the whole day on the internet till what time in the evenings, sleeping with a light on and refuse to pay for anything because according to him I owe it to him. When we got separated in July 2025 I have provided for 7 months (till January) everything for the house and after I had to move I had provided for all the animals, went and do his shopping, on my own cost go and drop it off at the house. He is saying the whole time to me you know dangerous someone is that doesn't have anything to loose...... So if you don't pay you will see what I will do to you???? Can someone please give me advise??

My husband (M35) and I (F33) separated back in April after I found out about the affair he had with a married woman he met and sexted with on Reddit. I moved back to my hometown to stay with my parents because I was a stay at home mom taking care of a 1 year old and needed the help.

Meanwhile, my husband moved to the city where his mistress still lives with her husband, hoping she'd leave him. But she ended up getting pregnant. She had to find out whether it was her husband's or mine. It was her husband's, so she broke up with my ex, and now he's heartbroken.

During all of this, I'm just an emotional wreck as a single mom whose marriage ended in a Jerry Springer style cheating mess. My ex and I made a plan to share custody of our daughter (F1), but that involved shipping her back and forth every other month, and that didn't sit right with me.

So I decided to move to his city so things would be easier for our daughter. I got a job and start next week. Unfortunately, until I can get on my feet and get my own apartment, I'm staying with my ex in his house. It kills me being there. Out of sight, out of mind was working so well for me. Now being around him brings back all the hurt from our imploded marriage.

I can't help but think this was a mistake and I should never have moved. Maybe I just need time to get my life back on track, but right now that seems impossible.

I (34F) was just served divorce papers by my husband (42m) this past week at couples therapy. Since then it has been soul crushing and devastating for me… as we have a 22mo child together. I was completely blindsided by it.

I have major depressive disorder, which for a short period of time was post partum depression. I have tried 14 different medications, underwent 7 rounds of shock therapy and 36 sessions of magnetic therapy. Years ago I had a complex gastric surgery which ultimately has caused issues absorbing nutrients and medications (hence the high failure rate). Despite all of this, I have kept on. My son is my motivation and purpose. He grounds me.

Recently I’ve seen a shift in myself. The days have felt brighter and I have started looking forward to tomorrow. Many people in my life can attest to this. I’m not jinxing it!

The have been in hell. I’ve been so incredibly emotional and frustrated because my husband was almost catatonic. He called the police on 3 separate occasions over the course of the last 6 days, trying to get me committed. On the 3rd attempt he was almost successful, but left with the police voluntary to the hospital. Thankfully staff listened and believed me and I left on my own free will.

Despite ALL of this my husband has my heart. This whole situation was SO out of character for him. It was like a switch flipped. Very unsettling and scary. Ultimately we signed the dismissal paperwork today. After lengthy discussions I was able to convince him that this wasn’t right and would do more harm than good. By the grace of God the case has been dismissed.

We went out today as a family and I came home to some mail addressed to me from his attorney. I couldn’t help but open it and read it, curiosity got the best of me. In the envelope was a 14 page petition and request for sole custody of my child, that I leave our residence and that I get a mental health assessment. It goes on to have documented evidence of my mental status. My husband had been recording me for months. Private and vulnerable conversations of me discussing ending my life. Screenshots of text messages… and somehow some way they were able to obtain my medical records, providing clinical notes from the psychiatrist I see twice a month.

I’m gutted. I feel so incredibly violated and disturbed. Reading the documents it was evident he was trying to paint a picture of me as a terrible mother. I’ve become a SAHM involuntarily as my employer terminated me while on medical leave. I have no village. I care for my child 24/7. Some days are really hard… those with MDD would understand this. The side effects of medications are brutal.

I’m just so lost. I love my husband. I love our family. I love the life we’ve created. I’m thankful we are “putting this in the past” but after reading all of thay today has me just dumbfounded. I guess my question is for those we did not proceed with divorce, how did you move past the hurt? The violation of being recorded? Im so scared to have a bad day now or show any emotions. I feel like im on probation.

And before anyone says “why would you want to continue with a man like that anyway?” It’s because I took my vows seriously. I value our love and my son’s future. Like I said, this was so out of character for him… almost like the tables have turned and he is the one suffering with mental issues.

When I first started going through my divorce almost two years ago, one of my biggest fears was ending up alone. I genuinely thought I needed to find someone else and eventually get remarried to feel like my life was back on track.

Fast forward almost two years, and I'm surprised by how much my perspective has changed.

I'm actually happy being single. I enjoy my independence, my freedom, and not having to answer to anyone. Sure, it would be nice to have a woman in my life, and I'm not opposed to another relationship, but I no longer feel like I need one.

My divorce was an absolute nightmare. Between the financial costs, legal battles, emotional toll, and uncertainty, there were times when I genuinely felt like I was risking my life and everything I'd worked for. Ironically, I ended up with a surprisingly decent outcome compared to what I feared could happen.

But even with that outcome, the experience fundamentally changed how I view marriage. It's hard to imagine voluntarily putting myself in a position where another person could have that much influence over my financial future, mental health, and overall stability again.

I never expected to feel this way. Two years ago, being alone was one of my greatest fears. Today, the idea of getting married again scares me a lot more than the idea of staying single.

Has anyone else experienced this shift after divorce? Did you eventually become open to marriage again, or did you realize you were genuinely happier staying single?

Opinions very much appreciated..

My marriage has been on the brink of filing, we just haven't. Things get into a rhythm where we manage being in a house together and fighting and disagreements are every few weeks but we tolerate life in-between..

Anyway, husband (both of us are early 40s) has been home with a work injury for a couple of years on workman's comp. That's going to end and he will be losing his job, we will be severely in debt (like not surviving with the loss of his income). I'm not holding my breath that he'll get a job. He's making every excuse that he can't work because of his injury. He made more than me, I'm looking at picking up a part time job asap on top of my full time job. He is encouraging me to do so as well. I will not see my babies on weekdays. I will hopefully be able to take my son to and from school quickly between jobs. (Job 1 8a-4/430p, job 2 5p-9p)

Can someone tell me how to protect myself against this being used against me in court/custody.. I can very much see him using that he's been a "stay at home parent" and me working against me but we can't go without paying our bills.. at this point we are looking at many bills going unpaid and not being able to cover food or Christmas in just a couple of weeks..

I'm stuck and really don't want to have to pick up another job but he's leaving me no choice with him not working..