I still cant believe it. We were so ecstatic to find out we were pregnant back in February, on valentines day, after 7 years of infertility and thinking a life with child would never be in our future. I used to distance myself with friends who got pregnant (not too much, but keeping my heart sane by not wanting to know much details about labor, what they buy for babies etc) and apparently after those 7 years, we had our turn to be parents too?

The pregnancy was not easy to me, who has motion sickness on a daily basis, it was just horrendous to have that feeling the entire day. When first tri all over, body starts to ache and I have never been back to my old training routines, all the food aversions while food was usually my survival, all just made me not feel like myself. Then I got GD on week 30. Short to say it's a period I just want to skip and move forward to meeting my daughter.

And just exactly last week, she came to the world. The long-awaited beautiful daughter. The one that me, husband, family and friends celebrated for me and welcomed to the world with joy. Except I was in shock of how fast I wasnt pregnant anymore?

And all of a sudden I become very aware of the ending. How those stages of testing for blood sugar was no longer required. All the midwifes & doctors appointments are no longer there. Those week-to-week pregnancy videos we used to watch are no longer in our feed. My belly is empty, and my daughter is sleeping on it, not in it. The hospital bag has served its purpose, all the pads I snatched from the hospital starts to run out. All of a sudden I'm not pregnant anymore and I become so scared of moving on from that identity as a pregnant woman, whom just days ago was just feeling very fragile and now just isn't that anymore.

And the shift, is inexplicable. It was like I was high when I was pregnant. The old, pregnant me would not even think like this at all. Just throw this, throw that, lets go back as soon as we can to the gym, let the baby be as independent as possible, lets go back to school after this short period of delay. No cry no weep nothing.

But the now me is a crying ball of sentimental here and there things. Can't even cut off the hospital bracelet because it means it really ends. Can't let baby sleep in bassinet because just days ago she was still so comfy inside of me, I'm gonna hold her like this till I cant anymore. I dont care that I dont sleep. I want to just.. stay where we are right now because everything is changing so fast and I feel like I'm trying to hold onto something but everything's changing by the minutes and I cant go back to that.

And I'm too skeptical of therapists that will get this feeling, so I don't even know where to start asking for help. Mentioned it on the followup check but they all want me to wait for the two week mark of whether or not it's "just" baby blues or depression. Thanks, I can barely function cause all I do is cry over any small things. My husband is my rock for all he's been doing. Friends are begging to knock on my door but I cant accept that help because they will not know/understand/relate to this side of me, and accepting them feels like I've accepted that I have moved on to the next chapter of life. It's so lonely in this hole of nostalgia and reminisce, the dark approaching winter surely doesnt help my case at all.

The shift is real. I'm really not the same person I was. I was really prepared and planned everything before, but now Im in a hole that I dig myself and I dont know when I can get out of it.

Sorry to be such a bummer, really didn't know my lovely journey would end this way. Thank you for reading, it was a pleasure being in this subreddit through all my pregnancy journey and graduated safely.

I’m so tired. Too tired to do anything that I need to do around the house or for myself or for him. All I do is breastfeed him and hold him. When I put him down, he cries. I worry that I’m too tired to learn about what I need to do for him to develop and to grow. That I’m going to ruin him. That I’m a bad mother. I’m not cut out for this and I shouldn’t have done this.

So my wife has been dealing with her postpartum depression the last three months and it’s gotten to the point where she’s really contemplated killing herself just so she doesn’t feel this way. So I’ve sat her down and talked to her asked why she would want to do such a thing. And every time she’s says no one would miss me and everyone would be better off.
And I’ve told her no we wouldn’t be like we would all miss you so much and the kids would all miss you. Especially our oldest he and my wife quite literally do everything together.

And I’m not over exaggerating or anything because tonight she text me are you awake? And I thought that’s odd because if she wanted to talk to me she could just come out to the living room where I’m at. And then I thought to myself shes actually going to try and do it tonight because she’s always said that she would try and do it while I’m sleeping so I wouldn’t stop her.

So idk if I’m posting this to rant or to have someone say I’m overthinking it but please I could use some advice. Also she does take antidepressants and I pretty much have stayed at home during all this to help my wife get through this.

I'm in my mid 30s and gave birth to a baby this year.

I never imagined having a baby will be this tough.

I barely manage to recover health wise, I didn't get a necessary treatment or guidance after C-section where it caused a long term trauma.

I feel trapped. Soon I will need to get back to work and I have no idea how I will manage it all. I'm so tired all the time regardless of how many cups of coffee I get during the day. Nobody really gives a damn about me. I really have no regrets if the world ends tomorrow.

I been dealing with a lot of anxiety lately to the point that I don’t know what to do, in the beginning when my son was born I was mostly afraid that me or my son or my husband was going to die, it terrified me every time I found out of things babies pass away from i would try to prevent all the bad things for happening to keep him alive , at night I would stay up with him while my husband slept because I was afraid to accidentally suffocate him and I couldn’t put him down cause was afraid my son would feel unloved if I did. But eventually everything got better until he turned 1 when the intrusive thoughts started happening , I was terrified and felt very guilty I don’t know why I was thinking the way I was I felt I was becoming a monster or if one day something in my brain would go wrong and I would do something horrible I thought about all those cases I use to watch and thought what if I become like that too, there’s times I think I hope my son is happy im his mom, but there’s other times i think what if I think that way because I don’t love my son, but I know that I love him, but what if I don’t and it makes my heart hurt cause I’m scared to think that way, then one day the anxiety hit me harder than before I was crying uncontrollably my hands felt uncomfortable and shaking and my anxiety was through the roof my son was sleeping and I felt bad but with shaky hands I woke him up and took him to his grandmas house( she lives super close) and I broke down to her how I was feeling she reassured me that everything would be fine and it’s just anxiety but my body wasn’t calming down and I called my mom and my sister it took hours for my anxiety to calm down but I felt fine when it was over my husband said it’s cause I drank caffeine and I don’t usually drink it which might be true cause it happened that one time, but after that I been to the therapist 2 times and while I felt a little better afterwards it still hurts to think what if I don’t love my son, is there anyway to fix me or should I find I kind woman that can give my son all the love in the universe and my husband a normal wife and leave from there life’s I don’t want to be away from them but I want to protect them so bad I don’t know what else to do.

So I went to the emergency room about 2 days ago, and was prescribed an anti depressant for symptoms related but not related to what I’m currently dealing with, my daughter is three months old, and over the past two weeks outside of those symptoms I have had visual hallucinations that seem like I’m looking through a magnifying glass at everything, no auditory hallucinations but I was told it was probably sleep deprivation. My husband lets me get naps in and has had the night shift this entire time but goes back to work next week and I genuinely want to know what’s going on with me and whether or not other moms have experienced this kind of situation, answers would be greatly appreciated as most of my care team seems to be no real help.