I just came across a photo of Scarlett Johansson while scrolling and I said “RIP” to myself while feeling a little sad. And then I remembered that shes still alive and it’s her MCU character, Natasha Romanov, that’s dead. Not the first time it happened.

I was under the impression my boyfriend wasn't paying attention to me while we were talking and remembered a character in a book saying "and father consented to buy me an elephant" to call out someone not paying attention to her. So I suggested we buy an elephant. His response was "no, no dear, and here is how the recliner controls work." We went from elephants to recliners in one second flat!

I suppose he was actually paying attention to me though. (Also I ought to have paid more attention myself. I can't figure out how to put the footrest down, and I really need to pee! I guess I'll need to request assistance. Edit: apparently I just needed to physically push down. I feel very silly now).

I don’t eat fast food for the most part, as I didn’t grow up eating it (dietary reasons for my health). Recently, my friend had been taking me to Chick-FiI-A a bunch to get food (keep this in mind for later).

I had just gotten finished with a workout at the gym when I got a call from my friend. He asked me to get him some Chipotle before we hung out (He paid me back, don’t worry). I agreed and went on my way to get his order. I took what I thought was the way to the local Chipotle, parked my car, and went inside. I walk up to the counter and try to place the order. The manager was there and he proceeded to say “That’s Chipotle, which is right down the street. “ I stared for a moment to realize the stupid mistake I had made (operant conditioning at its finest). I walked out of the restaurant and sat for a minute in my car laughing at the whole situation. I went about going to get his food (and ordering something for myself).

A few days ago I went grocery shopping and picked up some toothpaste because I was running low. When I got home, I was in a hurry and started putting everything away without really paying attention. Later that evening I went to brush my teeth and couldn't find the new toothpaste anywhere. I checked the bathroom, looked through the shopping bags, and started wondering if I'd somehow left it at the store. For the next three days I kept trying to figure out where it went. Then I opened the nightstand drawer next to my bed to grab something and there it was. My brand new tube of toothpaste, just sitting there like it belonged. Apparently I'd put it away with the rest of my groceries and somehow decided my nightstand was the perfect place for it. I still have absolutely no idea what my brain was doing that day lol.

I was in the middle of working earlier today when a sudden heavy downpour started outside. The sound of the rain pounding against the metal roofs in our neighborhood was so loud that it completely interrupted my focus.

Instead of getting back to my laptop right away, I grabbed a cup of instant coffee and just stood near the window watching the water flood the street for a bit. The exact sound of heavy rain hitting tin roofs always takes me right back to lazy weekends when I was a kid, back when time felt like it moved a lot slower.

By the time I snapped out of it, my coffee was lukewarm and twenty minutes had passed. I didn't end up accomplishing much during that break, but it ended up being the quietest part of my day.

I work in a grocery store. I've been in the business for several years now, so I'll help out in any department that's thin.

So I load up a cart of fruit to put out on the sales floor. As I'm rotating the kiwis to put the newest, least ripe ones on the bottom of the stack, I see a bit of spider web clinging to the fruits.

I gently lift the kiwis and find the cutest jumping spider cowering there; fully exposed to the overhead lighting. He was a big one too, black and fuzzy with white markings on his body and legs. He had those big, beady eyes like Lucas.

He was awfully cute, but had he jumped onto me I don't know that I'd be able to control my primal fear response. I didn't want to hurt him, and he certainly posed no threat to anybody here.

So I named him Jeffery Jr and carefully piled kiwis back around him so he could hide in peace. When I looked again this morning, he was gone. Hopefully he found a more peaceful stack of fruit to spend his time in.

I'm 32 and still get together with three of my college friends roughly once a month. It is almost always at someone's apartment now, mostly because none of us wants to pay $17 for a single cocktail anymore.

Ten years ago, we would sit around for hours dissecting bad dates and who hooked up with who. Last weekend, one friend started talking about 30-year fixed rates, and we genuinely debated mortgage terms for forty minutes. Another friend has a six-month-old and brought up her back hurting, which instantly turned into all of us trading physical therapy tips. At some point the conversation drifted to random purchases, one of them mentioned buying a tracys dog, and that somehow sparked a ten-minute debate over whether buying that kind of thing counts as self-care.

We still end up laughing at the same dumb jokes, and bringing up a guy I went out with sophomore year nearly made someone choke on their seltzer. I definitely do not miss being broke and hungover every Sunday morning, but it is wild watching our shared crises shift from unread texts to interest rates and property taxes.

For people who still hang out with their college group, what was the first painfully adult topic that completely took over your group chat?

i was leaving a shop earlier and someone was walking out just ahead of me. the door opened and i instinctively said "thank you!"

except the person hadn't held the door, the door was automatic!

the person turned around and looked at me and instead of just laughing it off, i pretended i was talking on the phone but i wasn't even holding my phone (gosh so embarrassed!)

but anyway, apparently i'm polite to doors now

I was walking home from work, and I came across some bongos on the curb to be trashed. I figured "why not?" and grabbed them. I made it to right across the street from the bus stop, and the bus was just pulling away. Depending on traffic and if the bus driver sees you, hope wasn't completely lost, so I booked it. I heard a stranger yell "you got this, bongos!"

Spoiler: I did not got this. It was too dark out to be seen by the driver, and weighed down with a backpack and the instrument, it was simply not happening. The next bus wasn't coming for another 15 minutes, so I just walked the 1.5 miles home. It was nice. Perfect evening weather for a walk, and I saved $3 (more if you count the free bongos lol).

i have very busy week probably the most I’ve been out because I work one day a week I just went to the dentist today i go to work tomorrow and I go again Thursday. talk about a week.