Three kids under 8, part-time dental assistant, Boston metro. My husband and I finally got Roth IRAs open, but the contribution limits feel impossible with daycare eating most of what we bring in. Right now I'm putting $50 a month into mine and it's not moving the needle. I know some families have more than us, so maybe I'm missing something obvious. Does anyone here actually max theirs out, or do most people just put in whatever is left at the end of the month? Curious if anyone found ways to make it work without picking up extra work after the kids are asleep.

For those of you who had a second baby with a 3.5 year age gap, especially those of you who had an easy toddler, how did you handle the transition? Did having an easy, independent older child make things easier, or was it still a huge adjustment? Did you feel like you lost the freedom and routine you had finally found?

I know every baby and family is different, but I’d really love to hear honest experiences from people who understand what it’s like to have a toddler who makes life feel so manageable that the thought of starting over feels scary, even when you really want another baby.

Gonna have my 4th child this winter. I’m looking for a STURDY 4 seater stroller wagon that can withstand different terrains. Mostly I’d use it at petting farms and sidewalk walking but also sometimes I tend to off-road a bit with my current double stroller. So something that can take a beating on the wheels. And maybe fit well into a trunk lol.

Any succesfull stories of happened pregnancy after a negative test on morning of missed period?

Thanks a lot.

Hello hello — new to the sub and have enjoyed reading on here.

Our kids are 5, 3, 2 and newborn.

Let me preface by saying that I know our start has been very hard… but this season feels insanely hard at the moment and I just want some advice on the trajectory of how long it will be this hard and any tips of how to make it easier.

We welcomed our 4th and final baby to our family in mid September. Birth went well but I was in hospital for 4 days before for monitoring and 3 days after birth (after birth is standard practice in the country where I live).

My mom arrived 2 weeks before birth, and our aupair arrived 1 day after birth (I was still in hospital) and my mom was also here.

We ended up in the ICU when our daughter was just 3 days old. Another 7 day hospital stay due to illness that she picked up. Then home for 2 weeks. My dad arrived during this time. I should also add that we had construction going on in our basement — so it was very chaotic in the house.

So at the time my daughter was 3 weeks old, we had: an aupair, both my parents, my kids and husband in the house.

Then our aupair’s dad unexpectedly passed away so she flew home. The next day we ended up back at the hospital because the newborn had a fever again. Another 2 day hospital stay.

We have now been “home” for a week. Kids are healthy, it’s “just” my parents here and it has been so hard. I often feel like my husband and I aren’t working as a team and we are committed to working on that… but Jesus this has been the hardest transition for us.

I saw something online that said “it’s ok if the only thing you do postpartum is hate your husband and cry a lot” and that’s exactly how it’s been for me. But I absolutely hate that that’s how I feel.

I ordered two copies of the book “how to talk so little kids listen” and want to do a book study on it with my husband because in a lot of ways it doesn’t feel like we are synced up right now - in many ways but especially in parenting.

Does anyone have any words of encouragement, advice or hope to offer me that it will get better at some point?

Hi guys, just found this sub here and currently posted in parentsofmultiples sub about it.

I have a toddler 2 years old he is our first child.
Now I got pregnant with triplets so our family will build up to 4 children very fast. I always wanted at least 3 children so looking long term I feel happy about it.

But short term I am still a first time mom to my toddler and I am SO scared on how he will handle all of this. I do not have experience on how to prepare siblings for new babys and how toddlers cope with this change in their life and familes.

Especially when his mother is gone for weeks in a hospital with three new siblings. They will be premature babys, the doctor said I will be happy to make it until 32. week of pregnancy, in some cases they even come earlier which is very dangerous.

How will my son understand all of this. I feel like I can not make it right to all of these children especially in the premature and newborn phase. I wanted siblings for him as I also had many. My siblings have been the best gift my parents made to me in my life. I wanted it to be a good experience for my son. Now I am scared that this will be a punishment for him, his mother will be gone in hospital for weeks and afterwards I will have no capacity to be a good mother to him at all?

I have a very supporting partner and family and in germany we get help from the state with household and kids when expecting multiples. He has a very strong relationship to his dad and grandparents but I am his mother and I don’t want to let him down and fail into this role. I am so scared of not being enough as a mother in this critical time.

Does anyone here has experience with premature babys or multiples and a toddler at home? I need some positive stories of strong and experienced parents who know what all of this means to older siblings and what it does to them mentally. How can I prepare my son, how can I be there for him when I have so many babys to care for?

3 bed Vs 4 bed for a family of 3. Advice needed!!

Me and my wife have been living in a 2 bedroom apartment with our 9 month old and have been saving up / planning for our own house for quite some time. We are first time buyers and as such targeting new builds only. We have viewed several 3 and 4 beds and shortlisted one of each. While we do think at present 3 bed should be enough for us, we really like the 4 bed we saw, not just because of the extra room but also extra space throughout in the living, kitchen, garden etc for an additional 300sqft. Also we are planning for another kid in year's time.

Choosing a 4 bed means we lose the stamp duty benefit as the house is worth £550k while the 3 bed is £485k. But with the 4 bed, the developer is contributing £10k in stamp duty.

We both WFH 3 days a week and have our family come over from our home country for about 2 months every year. As such, we intended for a 3 bed to have 1 master bed, baby room and the third one to be office/guest space. But with the 4th bed, we would have flexibility to make the office and guest spaces separate.

With my wife working 4 days a week and having the baby go to nursery on those days, jointly we would be able to save £2000 each month with a 4 bed. With a 3 bed and by paying the same amount of deposit, we're looking at an additional £500 in savings every month due to lesser repayments.

A few questions for the community who can share their personal experience and recommendations:

Should we go for a 3 bed right now and later down the road once we outgrow it, go for a 4 bed?

During the time guests aren't here, is it feasible to rent out / Airbnb the additional room to help manage expenses?

What other factors do we need to take into account when buying a new build?

I’ve not long found out we’re expecting #3. We’re both really excited, it’s definitely going to stretch us financially through maternity leave but we timed it so oldest will be starting school as I go back to work so we don’t have triple nursery fees!

However. I’ve just seen a Reddit post on a parenting sub about a family considering a third and all the comments were so insanely negative. How they’ll never have time for each child, how they’re taking away from the 2 they already have and tha they should just be grateful for what they’ve already got. They’ll never go on holiday, you have to think about bigger cars etc etc

I’m struggling to get my excitement back, I wish I’d never read the comments. I’m not wearing rose tinted glasses I know it’s going to be hard but please reply with everything you love about having a bigger family and how it’s not going to be an absolute crisis like that sub made out!!

*Edited to add:

Thank you all so much for the kind and encouraging replies!! I’ve loved reading all about your bigger families and all the daily chaos. I genuinely am excited to have 3 I just had a mega wobble after reading that sub

Hey y’all,

I don’t even know my question really, this may be more of a vent. My husband and I have three kiddos - 9, 5, and 11 months (almost 1) - and I just found out I’m pregnant AGAIN. I’m so nervous to tell anybody. I’m scared my older kids will feel pushed aside, I’m scared of the judgement from my parents and in laws, I’m scared of showing back up to my OB a year after delivering - especially because I’m newly diagnosed with mild hemophilia a and have a history of postpartum hemorrhage and this will be my third c - section, the last two being 19 months apart. It’s such a surprise too because our third we had tried for a year to get pregnant and this one was one time of unprotected sex. My husband makes good money and our home is paid off ( a huge blessing I know) so I’m not so worried about that (although we are planning on adding on so that’s a whole other headache. It’s such a trip that four out of my five backseats are going to be full in my expedition. Never thought I would have two under two. Anyways I’m only 4 weeks along so I still have a long way to go and hopefully when I get my ultrasound I will have had a chance for it to sink in and I can get used to the idea. Any words of encouragement, advice, etc would be very much appreciated!

Do you have any favorite children’s books featuring three siblings? Thanks!

My god. Today, I got a hankering for chili dogs and I froze. The last time I wanted one, I was pregnant with our only son, #2 of #4. My period is due and I am crampy, but I took a test just to gain clarity to put that worry to rest. Immediately positive.

Holy shit. We have 11 (f), 6 (m), 4 (f, f, twins). Life started to feel really good and I felt like we are almost to end of endless diapers, potty training, and soon, no more daycare 🎉 it is painfully expensive for our twins. I am devastated. I love babies (no matter whose) and I guess it’s cool that we may have another, but I am also furious. My husband has taken the better part of 2 years to get a vasectomy, but is dragging his feet. I didn’t want to pressure him, as his body is his to decide upon, but my God!

I haven’t told him yet, because I’m still shaking with adrenaline post-test and he’s away on a work trip. I don’t want derail his focus. Someone please calm me down! I’m not ready to talk to family yet.

I have a family of kids all in elementary school. School teaches them academics. But what are some things they need to know before they get to middle school that is not taught at school? So I am able to prepare them.

my oldest is nine my youngest is two they have the same dad who is very much absent and doesn’t help at all, now i’m pregnant with my current boyfriend and i’m nervous because my youngest is two, i’m 34 i’m hoping for a girl. I’m just nervous . i need positive advice, my boyfriend treats my kids like his own.. i know he will be a great dad. he lost his son a few years back his son was 21

How did you know it’s time to be done? How did you cope?

I am still under 30 and I have 4y, 2y twins, and an 8m old.

My husband and I have been together for about 9 years so when we decided to start a family, we did just that and loved the whole process so they all came quickly.

I find myself now being 8 months postpartum hanging on to pumping for dear life even though I barely make anything and hate it just because I’m sad to quit knowing it may be my last connection to this whole process. I have loved every phase of my kids so far and can’t imagine never seeing all those phases begin again.

I would wait 2-5 years and have a 5th baby in a perfect world but that would definitely be our maximum and I’m not sure we should ever push it. If we had another; the car would be full, rooms would be shared forever, the age gap would be larger, I will have to stay where I’m at in my career much longer, and money would be much tighter. Even knowing that, I still get super sad.

Not sure if this is the right sub to post on. But we are expecting our third boy, and I am trying to decide if I want to have the big boys come meet their new brother at the hospital or if I should wait until me and baby come home. My oldest will be a few weeks shy of 4, and my second will be 22 months when their brother arrives.

When I had my second, my then freshly 2 year old did really well and loved meeting the baby but I could definitely tell he was a little confused and scared of why I was in the hospital bed and not leaving with him and my husband when it was time for him to go back home. It’s gotten me thinking of if it would be easier to wait? I’d love to see them while I’m at the hospital, but I know hospitals aren’t the most fun thing ever for littles and maybe it would make them more comfortable?

I know there’s no right or wrong answer here, and I’m probably overthinking it all, but I’d love to hear what other parents did!

As above, what are your top tips for managing 3 young kids on your own for the day?

I am a soon to be mum of 3 (4.5,2,newborn) and want to get ahead on how I will manage the day to day dynamics when it is just me and them for the day or days that we don’t have childcare.

So far I am working on the 4yr old learning to dress themself and attempting to potty train the just under 2 year old (we have about 5 months to go so Im not stressing, if it happens, it happens).

But how do I manage the day to day logistics. Plan to baby wear the baby a lot in the beginning but looking for experienced tips.

The more children you have the more humans you have to name! Did you guys have any themes or just use names you liked?:)

I'm due with #4 (our last) in early December and I'm trying to come up with a fun way to celebrate being done! Any fun ideas? Years ago, I purchased six Christmas stockings at pottery barn (knowing I wasn't four kids) and I plan to have them embroidered with each of our names - so something along these lines. Something I'll eventually do that I grew up with was having a color coded laundry basket for each kid ☺️ I want it be something really special or functional.

I'm also trying to think of a fun gift for myself now that I'll be done with pregnancies and birth that I could put on my Christmas list for family members. I have my own list (lasik, nicer wardrobe, etc) but this would be something more gift-friendly. It could be something with all the kids' names on it or just something fun knowing you'll never be pregnant again?

Anyone have any fun ideas or something you've done?

Seeking Advice from the Parenting in Bulk Pros:

What did your nap transitions look like? My husband wants to put my 4 year old and 2.5 year old in the same room. I am concerned about this becayse if naps. I stay home with them and they both nap everyday. I am worried when my 4 year old stops napping my 2.5 year old will too.

Heres some context:

Ive always priortized my kids sleep. My 4 year old still naps. He loves to sleep. Naps 1.5-3.5 hours every day, sleeps through the night. (I count my lucky stars every day). But I know the end of his naps will likely occur naturally sometime within the next year. My 2.5 year old loves to nap too. They typically start nap at the same time, but the younger one usually wakes up first.

I wonder how putting them in the same room will affect the little ones naps when the big one transitions out of nap. I imagine the transition doesnt just happen one day.

We have a 5 year old, 2 year old, and 3.5 month old twins. We are also hoping and planning to have one more in the next 1.5-2 years.

I feel like from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to sleep I'm nursing, pumping, washing bottles and pump parts and milk storage containers, feeding (all 4 kids), cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, running errands, driving kids around. Is this just life now? It's okay if so, but if I'm missing some ways to make life easier I want to know!

I don't feel like I'm being especially efficient. I also work 20 hours a week from home and often doing chores while I'm on calls (like sorting laundry or making myself food or taking a walk with the babies). My older two kids are in school from 8:30-3:30. We have childcare about 30 hours a week for the babies/kids. I feel like I spend so much time moving things from room to room, putting things away. Some days I don't even feel like I'm getting quality time with my kids (other than the babies). Sometimes I run out of time to cook dinner and we have eggs for dinner. My husband works full time and is a massive help, he does all the tasks I do but has less free time during the day to do it. He cooks dinner once or twice a week, bathes the kids while I watch the babies and he does my 2 year old bedtime every night while I do my 5 year old.

Just curious if anyone has advice, tips, specifically to reduce time on menial labor and household chores to maximize time with kids.