Our 5-year-old son has ADHD and currently takes Vyvanse in the morning and guanfacine in the evening. Overall, the combination seems to be working really well for him during the day.

Sleep, however, has always been a struggle. He has a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep. At some point our pediatrician mentioned to my wife that it was perfectly okay to give him melatonin nightly to help him fall asleep.

We've gradually gotten to the point where we're giving him around 3-4 mg of melatonin every night.
For the past year or two, he has also come into our bed basically every single night. Sometimes it's 10 p.m., sometimes midnight, but it's almost guaranteed that he'll end up in our bed.

Lately, though, something seems different. Around midnight he'll be in our bed thrashing around, yelling, getting angry/upset, and seeming only half awake. It's like he's having a meltdown while still partially asleep. It's becoming really disruptive for both his sleep and ours.
I'm starting to wonder about the nightly melatonin. Has anyone experienced something similar with their ADHD kid? Particularly restless sleep, vivid dreams, night terrors, anger/agitation, or frequent waking after using melatonin regularly?

I'm wondering if we should talk to his pediatrician about reducing or stopping the melatonin and seeing whether his sleep changes. Part of me wonders if there's some kind of "crash" as the melatonin wears off, although I have no idea if that's actually a thing.
Obviously we'll discuss medication changes with his pediatrician, but I'm curious whether any other parents have experienced something simila

Hello all! My husband and I have a 504 meeting for our daughter in a little less than a month and I'd like to come fully prepared, my daughter has consistently good grades in her academic subjects, however shes deeply struggling with the boundaries of every day school life, ie she finds excuses to leave class to take social or physical breaks, talks nonstop to neighbors, polices other kids behaviors (which is interesting because shes an only child so its not like shes ever been parentified) in other words, shes bored and im trying to find ways to allow her to channel that in ways that dont waste other people's time, lately shes been making excuses to go to the nurse or counselor because she wants a break from educational stimulation and wants to socialize so im trying to think of ways to help her stay engaged in class while doing her actual work but allow her to get these "resets" in so that she can stay focused

Some ideas ive had so far are

-allowing her to listen to classical music via headphones and an mp3 player during quiet work time

-allowing her to use fidgets, wiggle seats, or sketch during active listening times

-allowing her to take a brief walk when shes finished her work and is bored waiting for other students

-allowing her a journal to jot down opinions and thoughts she may have that cross another persons boundaries in order to allow her to get the thoughts out with out disruption

Does anyone else have a child who needed a similar 504, and if so what are some things that helped your child be the best student they can be?

Sorry about all the questions. A friend suggested posting in this sub and it's been super helpful. Out of curiosity I'd like to know who goes with their little ones to OT and who waits in the waiting room. I really like observing the sessions and it really helps me understand what I need to be doing. I was given some paperwork with examples but it's not the same as seeing it in person. My son is about to turn 4.

My sons OT seems set on me not being in sessions. She didn't seem too happy I wanted to go with my son to his session yesterday. I stay out of the way. Most of the time I stay out of my sons eye line so he won't be distracted by me. He called me when they were headed to a different room. The therapist made a big thing of this basically saying now that I've come to a session or keep coming to sessions, my son is going to cry for me and it's going to be hard when I stop coming to sessions.

We generally have no issues dropping him off anywhere so I know he would be fine. He's done PT and OT in the past with no issues going without me.

So back to my original question. Do you stay or go back with your littles during OT?

Purely out of curiosity. We just increased our 6 yo to 3 mg per day given at night. Curious what others ages/doses are if guanfacine… just trying to understand how typical this dosage/age is.

I'm feeling really lost right now and could use some perspective from other parents who understand.

Last night, my 10-year-old had a major spiral. He was refusing to listen, threw things, hurt me physically, and then started hitting his head on the wall. When I tried to help him, he screamed for me not to hurt him. I stayed calm, helped him breathe, got him to bed, and eventually he fell asleep. But I'm left feeling completely drained and questioning everything.

My son has ADHD and significant trauma from his early childhood. He was adopted from foster care a year ago. I've rearranged my work schedule, I'm constantly trying to meet his needs, and I do everything I can to help him feel safe. But in moments like last night, I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing. How do I know if my approach is helping or if I'm missing something important?

For those of you parenting kids with similar challenges: How do you handle the spirals? How do you know you're doing the right thing when everything feels so hard? And how do you take care of yourself when you feel like a sponge that can't hold any more?

I'm so drained I asked my AI journal to help me draft this because I can't rehash it all again. I need both practical strategies and emotional support right now. Thank you for reading.

My son is 7 and has been diagnosed with ADHD for about 2 years now. He takes adderall which has helped tremendously especially with helping calm his body. The issue is, he is still extremely forgetful. He is still having issues following multi steps directions in the classroom and with academic settings. His teacher reached out to me for ideas on ways to help him, and we are having a meeting next week. Does anyone have any experience with this and can give advice on things that have helped their child?

A little medication background, he is currently on 10mg of adderall. Last year we had him on 15mg but his teacher said he had such a flat affect in class so we backed it off to 10mg. That has been working well until now. We are considering bumping it back up to 15mg especially now that he is older and has grown, so maybe a dosage increase would be appropriate. I just also wanted to see if anyone had any suggestions other than a medication change. Thank you so much!

Is there anyway to get medication without a diagnosis from a neurologist?
My 7 year old son no doubt has ADHD. When we went to go get evaluated the nurse practitioner saw it herself. But because his teachers questionnaire was the total opposite from mine, he could not be diagnosed since it’s not effecting him in 2 place settings. He masks it very well in school. But everywhere else it is clearly there.
They suggested behavioral therapy. I know my son. He is very intelligent. He just needs something to calm him down. I’ve tried magnesium. Really doesn’t do anything for him. I fear him losing friends and having a rough time socially because he gets too much sometimes . I see the other kids maturing and looking at him like why is he always so loud and hyper? Help!!

My six-year-old son was put on this medication for ADHD. It does not seem to be helpful and he is an emotional wreck in the evenings. I know that medication is trial and error, but I am ready to move onto something different.

My daughter is 5.5 and started Kindergarten this year. She hasn't yet been diagnosed but they are treating for ADHD with Clonidine right now (started 2 weeks ago) because of the issues she has been having since 4, we finally got them to realize that it is likely ADHD. She is on .05 mg clonidine right now. I have seen an improvement in her reactions, not getting as upset over things, and she is actually able to take breaths and use the tools that she is learning in OT.

I have gotten multiple calls from the school, and had to pick her up 4 or 5 times in the last month. Today I had to go because she kept trying to go out the classroom door that leads to the outside. Apparently she wasn't upset this time, at all, they had someone posted by the door but they wanted me to come because its obviously a safety concern. So I came and when she saw me she lost it, she then melted down and went into fight or flight unable to calm because we had to leave, there was only a half hour of her day left and I would have stayed with her but the parking situation is such that I would have been trapped in during pickup. So I tried to calm her, explain she wasn't in trouble, that we just needed to go.

We then got into her trying to elope and me having to leave her backpack and things at the school. We go to the pediatrician regarding meds tomorrow, I am curious if an increase in clonidine will help her, if adding a stimulant will help her at all. If anyone has experience with this, does it get better? I basically am in fight or flight everyday myself having to work from home with my phone on never knowing if I am going to get a call. Any advice, or tips welcomed. (she is in OT and on a waiting list for psych and ADHD eval).

Hello!
Our daughter is 8.5 and has ADHD. I’m trying to start implementing some visual and motivational charts to help her with executive functioning. Can anyone recommend any? I saw some on ETSY that I can print and laminate but thought I would ask first. Thanks!

Hi there I just left an appointment with my 7 year old son who has just been diagnosed with ADHD. The doctor seemed quick. Gave me a prescription for Biophentin, listed side effects and that it! No other discussion. She said it’s long lasting. And I’m concerned. I figured we would start with a shorter acting 5-6 hours as he only needs it for school. Can anyone who has taken this give me your opinion. I’m hesitant to give it to him.

I'm not sure where I can post this, it doesn't seem to fit into any of the ADHD subs. I am the mom of two ADHD kiddos (expect the third one is too but he's still young), and it runs in our family. So, I am very familiar with it. I am writing regarding my youngest (23F) sister (adhd-c medicated but with non-stimulants). Definitely anxiety going on as well.

I believe her behavior is shifting into verbal/emotional abuse territory at this point and I'd like some advice on how to deal with her as my mom has come to me crying and asking for advice. She definitely struggles with emotional regulation and what appears to be her seeking some kind of dopamine rush/stimulation. And she does so by instigating arguments and cornering my parents until they yell at her to leave them alone. Not physically, but verbally. She will walk into a room and start asking one of them questions that are in a "gotcha" form about any random thing. Then start to talk down to or berate them for not answering the question the way she wants her to, keep poking and poking until they yell at her, then yell back and declare they are evil or abusive for yelling and scream that "she's doing nothing wrong and they are trying to make her the bad guy". If they walk away instead of even engaging, she follows them and declares they are terrible for not answering her. Or she will blow up at the most random of things, yell and storm out of the room.

My parents constantly walk on eggshells in their own home. It is to the point where they are trying to craft their answers to her to avoid her blowing up. They are retirement age and tired. Our dad has had health issues this past year and doesn't need this stress. They are good people. They charge her no rent. They still buy groceries for the household and not just themselves. They've supported her free choices. They were never abusive and supported her getting mental health help when it became obvious. She was not always like this, it definitely got worse around when COVID hit and they kept thinking it was teen behavior back then and she'd eventually stop. But it's gotten worse.

Logically, I know she internally hates herself and this fact exacerbates things. A lot of it is RSD, low stimulation, and emotional regulation issues. But I also look at her and think that at 23, those excuses are over with and it's not my parents or anyone else's job to tolerate. I am thinking I need to have a sit down with our brother and let my parents know that we have their back, but they need to give her a 30-day notice to move out and let her sink or swim on her own. As long as everyone keeps helping and propping her up, she blames everyone else for her outbursts, for how she feels, and says they are her problem.

I'm open to any advice, opinions, solidarity. She is not my child, but we have a large age gap, and I've definitely had a hand in her upbringing for this reason. And overall I want my parents to not have to deal with this anymore.

My husband and I were both diagnosed with ADHD in our thirties, well after finishing all of our schooling. We have a daughter, 2.5, who is… whew. Highly distract-able, fights and struggles to sleep even when exhausted, and super intense. Has anyone else with ADHD had an ADHD kid? With an ADHD spouse? Does it get easier?

I worry about her so much, she’s more intense than either of our mothers remember us being. And I find it so hard to be the stable, emotionally regulated adult when she’s losing her shit for the tenth time that day. I always felt that there was something inherently wrong or broken with me, I don’t ever want her to feel that way.

Has anyone’s pediatrician recommended or prescribed an appetite stimulant for your medicated child? We’ve tried so hard to feed high calorie foods during breakfast and bedtime snack (when he’s hungriest) but he isn’t quite gaining the weight like his doctor would like. He has a checkup next week and I’m going to assume she will add an appetite stimulant to his routine (she’s already put it off once so we could try to get his weight up naturally). I don’t want to lower the Concerta dose at this time-his schoolwork/behavior would absolutely suffer.

Hi, friends.

My son is 7, 2nd grade, diagnosed ASD level 1 since age 5 and severe combined type ADHD since age 4. He’s been on Intuniv 2mg for about a year now. We have tried stimulants at the tail end of 5, into 6 but he got super rage-y on them so that’s when we switched to Intuniv.

He’s currently in a self contained classroom of 6 kids total, a counselor who spends half the day with the students, two paras and one special education teacher. The school has been extremely supportive and communicative with our family, but we are at a loss on what else to do. He does have a BIP. More often than not, they’re able to manage his meltdowns and redirect him to get through the day but sometimes nothing works and he just gets extremely aggressive and impossible to redirect.

He’s been sent home a few times in the past, but today takes the cake. He’s been suspended for two days for threatening to kill students and staff, hitting students and staff, tearing posters off the walls and opening and throwing water bottles. He also threatened to kill the principals kids. I am HORRIFIED.

His anger goes from 0-100. When regulated, he is extremely sweet and helpful. When he gets mad, it’s like a switch flips and he cannot control himself. He has so many tools to help regulate himself but he just cannot do it in the moment, which I understand is common with ADHD kiddos. My concern is the threats and how aggressive he’s been getting because he’s getting older and won’t be able to have as many chances if it doesn’t stop. He knows this but again, it goes out the window in the moment.

I made an urgent appointment with his doctor tomorrow to discuss wtf to do. His teacher was telling me that a former student of hers ended up having a mood disorder and after finding the right medication it helped a lot. Now I’m thinking maybe that’s true for him. Honestly I’m just embarrassed and upset and worried my child is going to end up in jail in a few years. Anyone pleaseeee help!!!

We have our first medication management appointment tomorrow. My 10 year old daughter has mild ADHD, combined type. She has a hard time with emotional regulation and executive function. She isn’t hyperactive at all. Both parents have ADHD/ADD. I was always hyperactive, and I take Adderall XR every weekday, since age 19. Dad has ADD, which back in the day was the non hyper version of ADHD. Dad takes Adderall once in the morning and that seems to be enough for him. I am wanting to put her on a low dose of Adderall so she won’t have to struggle as much as I did as an undiagnosed girl with ADHD, but is it more common to start with Concerta? She has a lack of dopamine for sure, and this drives most of her behaviors. She does very well in school because she’s gifted, but her grades are starting to slip from simple mistakes where she’s just not paying attention. She’s in weekly ADHD coaching but that is more for emotional regulation. So, I don’t know if Concerta would do enough for her. What have been your experiences with these two meds for children with similar profiles?

TL;DR: My 15-year-old son struggles with depression, severe social anxiety, and possible ADHD/autism. He has no friends at school, has become increasingly isolated since his older brother left for college, and has lost interest in activities he once enjoyed. Academic struggles and a severe reaction to Lexapro led to a psychiatric hospitalization earlier this year. He now refuses therapy and medication, and getting him to open up is nearly impossible. I’m considering a traditional boarding school with smaller classes, strong mental health support, and a close-knit community—not a troubled teen program. I’m terrified of sending him away but equally terrified of watching him become more withdrawn. Has anyone been through something similar, and did a change of environment help?

I’m a mom to a 15-year-old boy struggling with depression, severe social anxiety, and possible ADHD/autism. I’m at a loss for how to help him and have recently started considering boarding school—not a troubled teen or behavioral program, but a traditional school with smaller classes, strong mental health support, and a close-knit community.

My son is incredibly kind, intelligent, artistic, and great with technology, but he’s become increasingly withdrawn and isolated. He attends a competitive vocational high school that was difficult to get into, but he absolutely hates it. He has no friends there, dislikes his teachers, and seems completely disconnected. He was also bullied in middle school, which I suspect still affects him.

Last year, he was failing English, and his mental health deteriorated significantly. A severe reaction to Lexapro resulted in suicidal thoughts and a plan, ultimately leading to psychiatric hospitalization. He completed summer school and passed English, but his emotional struggles haven’t improved. He’s been in therapy for months but now refuses to continue, and after his medication experience, he doesn’t want to try anything else.

We’re pursuing a comprehensive neuropsychological evaluation for possible ADHD and autism. He has significant difficulty expressing emotions, is very flat and monotone in conversations, has sensory sensitivities, and rarely opens up about what’s bothering him. Trying to get more than a one-word answer is like pulling teeth.
He’s also lost interest in things he previously enjoyed, including animation classes and ukulele lessons, and refuses to try new activities. I’ve tried tutoring, encouraging friendships, finding activities related to his interests, and spending one-on-one time with him, but nothing seems to help.

His older brother, whom he’s very close with, recently moved away to attend university and only comes home some weekends. Most of my son’s friendships are through his brother’s friends and online gaming, so he’s become even more isolated since his brother left. He spends nearly all his free time alone in his bedroom.

I’m wondering whether a complete change of environment could help. His current school has around 1,400 students, and I feel like he’s gotten lost in the crowd. Maybe a smaller boarding school with supportive teachers, accessible counseling, and a built-in community could help him develop friendships, confidence, and some independence.

The thought of sending him away absolutely breaks my heart, and I’m terrified he might interpret it as me giving up on him. I’m also worried it could make his mental health worse. I know boarding school isn’t a replacement for treatment, and I don’t expect it to magically fix everything.

Has anyone had experience with traditional boarding schools for teenagers struggling with depression, social anxiety, ADHD, or autism? Did the change of environment help or make things worse? Are there particular schools you’d recommend?

I’m exhausted from trying everything I can think of and watching my son become increasingly disconnected. I don’t care if he’s popular or academically exceptional. I just want him to be happy, have friends, and enjoy being a teenager. I’m hoping to hear from parents who’ve been through something similar.

Hello fellow parents!

My daughter is in 2nd grade and a frequent flier at the nurse’s office.

Some important context:
\-Her mom and dad (I’m her stepdad and we have a great relationship) split a few years ago and it seems as though she is still struggling with living in 2 homes. We’ve done a lot of schedule finagling to ensure she’s seeing her dad and siblings on his side as much as his work schedule allows but in a structured way (set schedule)
Last year, she was diagnosed with ADHD (attention and hyperactivity)
\-Since kindergarten we have dealt with her not wanting to be in class or do her school work. Last year she started telling her teacher “no” or “I don’t want to do this anymore” during class work time. We had a conversation with her and worked out a plan with her teacher to send home any work she doesn’t finish in class, so we can have her finish it at home.
\-This year, I believe in a similar effort to get out of classwork, she has been going to the nurse every other day with a “stomach ache.” We started changing up her breakfast meals to avoid “stomach aches” (pancakes to more bland oatmeal/toast)
\-The school nurse called today and mentioned how frequently this is happening and wanted to share her concerns. She believes the nurses office is a “safe place” for her. The nurse shared that she will work to make the visits short before sending her back to class
\-She asked to see the school counselor which she started this week
\-She was in therapy during kindergarten but her dad’s insurance changed and we just haven’t gotten her back into it since (though that is our next step)

Have any other parents experienced this? Other than therapy, have you found anything that has helped?

We want to make sure she understands that even if classwork is boring, she has to participate and can’t just use the nurse as an excuse. However, I don’t ever want to tell her she can’t go to the nurse if she is truly feeling sick. It also feels yucky to take that safe space away from her if that’s what she’s needing. Like I said, therapy is the next step. But asking advice here too if there are any parents who navigated through similar things. Thanks!

My daughter turns 3 next month and out of those three years I don’t know if I have had more than 5 nights where we have been able to sleep through the night. Every time I bring it up with a doctor it’s a “sleep regression.” There’s no way it’s been a nonstop sleep regression. I think my daughter has ADHD, she talks non-stop, is always seeking sensory input, and seems to have endless energy. She gets up like clockwork at 7 am ready to go every day and the only way to get her to nap is to drive her in a car. The naps have gotten shorter and shorter and sometimes she refuses to nap at all. If she naps, she doesn’t fall asleep until 10-11 pm but if she doesn’t we can usually get her down by 7-8 pm. We have a consistent ritual of bath, teeth brushing, and stories, but it’s still an hour or longer struggle after that to get her to bed. Once she’s asleep she is usually out for at least an hour or two, but then she’s up all the time. Sometimes it’s multiple little wake ups, but other times she’ll be up and wired for HOURS. I can’t remember the last time I got a full night of sleep. I am so tired and depleted. We started giving her magnesium and l-theanine supplements but I haven’t seen much of a difference. She gets plenty of activity throughout the day and eats balanced meals. She’s been potty trained for 7 months and talks amazing (people always ask if she’s 3 or 4). Since she’s advanced in so many ways, the sleep aspect can be so frustrating. She’s our only child and I want to make sure she continues to develop healthily by getting enough sleep. And I want to be the best mom I can be by getting enough sleep. I am open to any and all advice.

We have a 16 year old son who has ADHD. He struggles academically but is very smart. He fails to turn in assignments and does poorly especially in Math. My concern is he doesn’t believe anyone especially adults knows anything he doesn’t not. He refuses medication and counseling. I have tried to explain to how his poor performance is related to executive functioning. I have been trying to work with him instead of giving consequences. Any suggestions

Has anyone’s kid developed anxiety after starting methylphenidate? Did it turn out to be because the dose was too high?
Did it go away after you stopped or lowered the dose?

I am so tired. We just got back from my 5yr olds neuro appointment. To preface this, last year he was evaluated for autism. The neurologist said that while he does have some traits, he doesn't show enough to be formally diagnosed. We left that appointment with a diagnosis of sensory processing disorder and an "I'm pretty sure he has adhd but we can't formally diagnose until 5". So we went back today for his ADHD eval. Honestly we left with more questions than answers. Again no "formal" ADHD diagnosis because he is not yet in school (late birthday). I understand needing to see symptoms in 2 areas but I figured that his symptoms showing up in his extracurricular activities AND home would be enough. Apparently it is not. I am 99.99% sure he has ADHD because me and his father both have it. So today we left with a diagnosis of ODD. When I research ODD it says it can concurrent with ADHD or essentially lack of parenting/consequences. I cannot stop feeling like we are the cause of this. He has always been very headstrong, quick tempered, and easily frustrated. He was a rough baby and didn't sleep through a full night until he was 18 months old and even now will wake up in the middle of the night, wouldn't let us put him down etc. But I don't know if I am failing as his mother amd truly am the cause of his ODD or if his brain just works differently. He is such a smart kid and so sweet when he wants to be. When he's upset the whole neighborhood knows. He screams, hits, throws things, bites etc. And then it's like a switch flips and he's completely fine. I am so lost on how to parent him in a way that is going to be effective and help him learn regulation. The neurologist said he needs to go to daycare but honestly I don't think that will do much. He gets tons of socialization (when he can emotionally handle it because of the SPD he gets overwhelmed quickly some days) I work with him at home and he's already reading paragraphs and full books. But I don't know how to help him with his behavior/emotions. He gets plenty of movement throughout the day, eats pretty well, and takes Omega 3s, a multivitamin, and magnesium. I don't even know what I need, I'm rambling.

Hello everyone! I’m hoping to hear from other parents who have been through something similar with their children.

I recently met with the psychologist and behavioral analyst who completed a private evaluation for my 5-year-old daughter. Autism was ruled out, and ADHD is still being considered. We were given a provisional diagnosis of unspecified mood disorder because of some of the emotional challenges she has been experiencing at school, particularly intense meltdowns when she becomes overwhelmed or has difficulty with transitions.
She is also having a hard time connecting with other children in her class.

I worry that some of her classmates are becoming hesitant to play with her because of these episodes, and that breaks my heart as a parent. She started occupational therapy about a month ago to work on emotional regulation, transitions, and fine motor skills, including her pencil grip. The psychologist also recommended play therapy and plans to complete the ADHD evaluation while we explore which interventions would be most helpful for her.

My daughter attends a private school, and thankfully, the school has been working with us. We have a meeting tomorrow to discuss a plan to better support her.
I’m trying to stay hopeful and focus on getting her the help she needs, but honestly, I’m feeling scared and anxious about what this might mean for her future. She is such a happy, bright, playful little girl, and it’s difficult to see her struggling in this way.

For parents who have experienced something similar, especially those whose children are now older: What helped your child the most? How did things change as they got older? Did therapy, school accommodations, or other interventions make a difference in their emotional regulation and friendships with a unspecified mood disorder?

I would really appreciate hearing your experiences, especially some positive stories from parents who have been where I am now. I know every child is different, but right now, I could really use some reassurance and hope.

Hi
I am posting here hoping to get some advice . my son is 8 and he is having trouble staying attentive at class or following teacher instructions, being organized etc . We got a call from his teacher today . All his teachers over the last three years have same feedback . He is smart otherwise and intelligent than most of his age group but ADHD is preventing him from reaching his potential. Few years ago doc suggested meds for ADHD but we were scared of the long terms effects . Currently i don’t see any other option. At home also we struggle to have him listen to us and have to tell everything many times. Same feedback from his RSM teacher .Any other parents in this boat what did you do ? what worked ? pls share experiences.. ty

I'm 32F, remote worker, stepmom of a 8yo ADHD child, screens are already the hardest part of our day. We have limits, we have timers, and we still have the same conversation most afternoons.

Paper routine charts haven't worked for him, he ignores them within a week. A friend suggested a wall display he taps through instead, and I can see why it might hold his attention better than paper but I'm hesitant. Am I solving one problem by adding another screen for him to fixate on? I'd really like to hear from parent who tried it. Did the screen fights get better, worse or stay the same?