Our Civ Pro professor sent an email yesterday that said:
"Tomorrow we'll spend a little more time on personal jurisdiction before moving on."
That was the entire substantive content.
Within ten minutes our section group chat had produced approximately seven competing interpretations.
"Does this mean PJ is heavily tested?"
"Maybe people did badly on the practice question."
"Why would she say a little more time specifically?"
"She wouldn't email us unless it mattered."
Someone went back through the syllabus to calculate whether we were technically behind schedule. Someone else found something the professor said in September and tried to reconcile the two statements like they were conflicting circuit opinions.
Then one person finally wrote, "Guys maybe she just wants to spend a little more time on personal jurisdiction."
Silence.
Obviously absurd. Far too textualist.
I've noticed we do this with everything now. Professor moves an assignment by one day? Exam implications. TA says "focus on the big picture"? Cryptic warning. Career services sends "friendly reminder"? Three people immediately wonder whether they individually screwed something up.
A professor cancelled class because he was sick earlier this semester and someone genuinely asked whether we should still know the cancelled material for the final.
I came to law school expecting to learn how to find hidden meaning in complicated language. I did not expect the collateral damage to be losing the ability to accept the sentence "I am sick, class is cancelled" at face value.
At this point if a professor emailed "Have a nice weekend" I'm fairly certain somebody would ask whether weekends are on the exam.