I got burned out a bit so I haven't been writing much. Planning on coming back this week.

An antihero moves into the city where a magical girl group operates. They learn that while other heroes might disaprove of their tactics or straight up consider them a villain, magical girls are actually quite pragmatic and understanding about using lethal force.

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Every witch has to summon their familiar, Sabrina and her black cat, Circe and her wolves, you and your…Buffalo?

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Every lie you tell becomes true for exactly 24 hours. One day, while trying to comfort your dying father, you tell him, “You’re going to live forever.”

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"No weapons allowed in this establishment, ma'am." "My consciousness is in the sword, the humanoid body you're looking at is a glamoured mannequin I'm puppeting."

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The princess has been kidnapped by a rival kingdom instead of by the dragon, for once. The dragon is having none of it.

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"I apologize if I'm not the prim and proper queen you expected when you came to my kingdom, but I just spent 10 hours straight helping my people escape the avalanche you caused in order to kill a dragon that hadn't done anything beyond exist in my borders."

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"She is a worshipper of the goddess of entropy, rot and decay-!" "And she's used the powers the goddess granted her to become by far the best healer on the continent. Your point?"

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Fun Trope Friday: Hellhole Prison & Drama!

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The Narrator realized that they won't exist after the story ends, and is trying to prevent it.

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Fun Trope Friday: Soul-Eating Cybernetics & Body Horror!

I forgot last week so this is two of them at once.

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“I’m immortal.” “Oh, so how old are you? Two hundred? Five hundred? A thousand years old?” “No, I’m 34, but I’m still immortal, just a new one.”

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Villains mother dramatically reveals to the villain and the hero that they are twins only for the both of them to look at her and say "We know, dad raised us, just because you chose to be an absentee parent doesn't mean he did"

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The dragon doesn't want to slay the latest knight sent to save the princess from their clutches. It just feels bad for the poor knight, who is clearly in way over their head.

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Being the crown prince was a heavy burden—one you wanted to escape more than anything. One night, without telling a soul, you and your girlfriend ran away. Six months have passed, and strangely enough, no one seems to be looking for you.

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you're a member of an alien police force. Recently you got stuck with the new recruit from someplace called "earth". Like everyone else you don't think much of them, until they experience a bout of hysterical strength and save a life.

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While you were a powerful mage, you were still a mere mortal, with all the limitations and weaknesses. "Were" because there is a small cult worshiping you and that is apparently enough for you to grant real blessings and bestow divine magic upon your followers.

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you are a intergalactic bounty hunter who finally tracked your target to a new colony planet on the outer reaches, only to find him settled with a wife, two kids and a town that loves him.

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In the Last War, nations used a horrifying twist on biological warfare: mutating animals into gigantic, vicious murder machines. They bred true, destroying civilization. Centuries later, you are a professional Monster Hunter, charged with wiping these terrors from the face of the earth.

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Two rival sorceresses finally reach a legendary treasure said to grant one's greatest desire. Inside the chest, they find a marriage certificate bearing both their names.

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You are a proactive archaeologist. Other people call you a tomb raider. You are also cursed to put on every ring that you find. Your university assigned apprentice has just asked you how you only ever have one ring on your hands.

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You bought excalibur from a flea market. Now everyone thinks youre the chosen one while the real deal ran off with your money.

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The heroes stared in disbelief as the rescued princess helped the defeated Demon King stand. “Tell the king it’s amazing how he protects the kingdom when threatened by an outside evil. But ignores the evil occurring in front of him.” she whispered to them before she vanished with him.

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Fun Trope Friday: Unishment & Romance!

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Dragon's blood is extremely potent. So much so, that it is normally consumed in single millilitres and as shots in extreme cases. You have just downed an entire litre of dragon's blood.

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A necromancer university student reanimates a dead author to prove to their literature teacher that their interpretation of the book is correct

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you were hired to run a restaurant as a front for mafia money laundering but your cooking was too good and now your restaurant is packed with real customers everyday.

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"Hero?" The Tavern Matron looks at you and pity enters her gaze. "By the Makers, You believed every word they said. Come on." She drags you to a Chair in the Back. "Sit, Sit. Time for a Common Sense Lesson for the Summoned Child. HUSBAND! Bring Food and Drink. We got another one."

***

"Hero?" The Tavern Matron looks at you and pity enters her gaze. "By the Makers, You believed every word they said. Come on." She drags you to a Chair in the Back. "Sit, Sit. Time for a Common Sense Lesson for the Summoned Child. HUSBAND! Bring Food and Drink. We got another one."

(Same prompt different story)

A cosmic programmer messes up and every being alive suddenly sees "Hello World" in the sky. Many people have different interpretations.

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“So what superpowers do you guys all have?” “I’m strong.””I’m fast.”” I make good life choices. I’m actually considered the most important member of the team.”

***

"Yes, yes 'War is bad and you don't want a part of it...' you have explained that multiple times already and I agree. Let me remind you though that THEY INVADED US! We have no choice but to FIGHT BACK!"

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A young rural witch grew up in the countryside where magic was traditional and has roots. Her world is completely flipped upside down when she moves to the largest city in the country where urban witches and their covens are completely different.

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You always taught your history teacher was weird for correcting old texts as if they had been there. One day, you see a painting that looks exactly like them in a museum

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Fun Trope Friday: Expert Consultant & Bullet Points!

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Your restoration efforts at the abandoned temple have unintentionally brought the deity back. And now you have to deal with someone no one else can see treating the situation like a home renovation rather than a serious cultural project.

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The Ring of Perfection works like this: You put it on, and while you're wearing it, you become the most likeable, clever, brilliant, fit version of you. Your best self. Then, once everyone adjusts to your best self, it recreates your best self with all your memories and vanishes from your hand.

***

A sign is posted outside a dungeon. 'IF YOU ENTER THIS DUNGEON, YOU AGREE TO BE RESURRECTED AS AN UNDEAD OF SOME KIND IF YOU DIE INSIDE OF IT. WHILE THE DUNGEON *IS* SURVIVABLE, IF YOU DON'T USE YOUR COMMON SENSE YOU WILL DIE'

***

"so wait?, you want me to send you to hell because your demon GF is down there, well, there is a clause for that in the rules, allowing one citizenship of hell equal to their demon partner not that of a sinner, sorry, doesnt happen often" the angel at the gate said

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Fun Trope Friday: Bad Influencer & Bad Romance!

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As outlandish as you want, ending with the line "…and that's the story of how I met your mother."

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The SCP Foundation has captured a powerful superhero/supervillain (Superman, The Joker, etc). Describe their containment procedures.

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"Of course I accept you as my brother. That's awesome!" "Thanks, but why are you so excited that I am trans? I'm the firstborn, so father will probably make me the heir now." "Exactly. Now you get to deal with all the crap and I finally get some peace and quiet."

***

A genie is depressed because everyone thinks their wishes will have an ironic twist. But all the genie wants to do is make people's wildest dreams come true.

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The Paladin has a reputation for getting up, even after fatal wounds. What most don't know is that he is actually a Lich. His phylactery rests in the Temple of the God of Light, offered long ago along with an oath of eternal service. Nobody knows why, only that his service is unfaltering.

***

You are the advanced intelligence of a military starship. You often assume the form of a human avatar to interface with the crew. A routine hyper jump goes wrong. Your avatar boots up before an old man. You sense your main body not far. "Chosen hero from another world..." The man begins

(Favorite this week)

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The kingdom is ruled by a meritocratic nobility. Only the most skilled must be allowed to rule and thus it is not unusual for noble families to adopt commoner children who excel in education. You are one such child and you decided to visit your birth parents again after you finally graduated.

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Aliens find a system with the remains of non-universe-destroying "XKCD What-if" experiments on its planets.

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You have been formally invited to the funeral of an immortal...

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A demon plays Doom for the first time and is extremely conflicted in regards to the experience.

"Incase you were wondering, you're already living in the timeline where we went back and fixed everything."

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Fun Trope Friday: Almighty Janitor & Slipstream!

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A paladin picked up a cursed sword. This is what happened to his soul.

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You tried to corrupt the hero, but when you tried, there was nothing left to corrupt. The hero's soul was so dark and evil that, if anything, it started to corrupt *you*. Yet they remain a hero, unerringly fighting for that which is good and true, with no sign of anything being wrong.

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A museum that collects highly dangerous artifacts (Warehouse 13, SCP, Repository of Dangerous Things, etc) sends agents to poke around your hoarder uncles’ house.

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The king has called you into his private chamber. "Son, we need to talk. I know that you are in a relationship with one of my knights and I also know that half of the clothes your mother buys end up in your wardrobe. Is there something you want to tell me?"

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It turns out that kobolds don't descend from dragons. Dragons descend from kobolds. As a scientist, this is an amazing discovery. As someone who likes not being set on fire by beings who weigh multiple tons, it's a little nerve wracking.

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"You kidding me?! This has got to be a mistake!" Even when you think otherwise, the Cat Distribution System does not make mistakes.

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I messed up the dating on the previous one, should be fine (also really love the fact I can't edit titles)

Story I wrote for Fun Trope Friday that I ended up not liking that much; just here for archival purposes

______

Following the containment breach of Zeta Station, Brandt and I were dispatched to, literally, clean up the mess.

For many, a day in the Galactic Containment League is a dangerous yet exciting prospect; any second, some anomalous 10-meter tall superrat with plasma hands could literally rip your limbs off. For Brandt and I...

"This shit is still fucking stuck!" shouted Brandt, a Starian Human, jamming his mop into one of the many fleshy tendrils stuck to the so-called non-stick flooring. "God, it's going to take forever!"

I groaned, "yeah..."

He stood, "well Mertz? Thoughts?"

I took a deep breath, then pulled out my phone, calling a Head Admin. "Hello?"

"Hi, this is Mertz Corwyn--"

"Tauran Janitor?"

"Y--yes." Their memory always freaked me out a bit...

"What seems to be the problem?"

"Um...we're at...KAF? The Kyoshan Branch, and one of the anomalies--"

"736," Brandt added.

"Thanks--KAF-736 breached containment and...we don't know how to clean it up?"

"736 is...do you have access to heat?"

"Um..." I looked down to my League-issue Rook-12 Plasma Shotgun. "I don't think I have much ammo..."

"Ah, okay, stand aside, I'll send a researcher to help you deal with this."

"Oh! Thank--" a flash of blue appeared behind me "you--" I turned, to see a...uh...

...dammit, what species is he? Uh...he's a canid of some kind, golden fur, platinum blonde, green, slit eyes, (okay, Zavoxi then) in a white labcoat and...are those fake glasses? "Hello you two, Doctor, Jay Edward Fawkes," he readjusted his plastic glasses, "what's the issue?"

"You have a personal teleporter?" asked Brandt.

"Huh?" he laughed "no, I just used the thaumatological process to get here. Not that hard."

"Thauma..." I began.

He looked at the floor, "what sector is this?"

"Kyoshan," I said.

"Okay, K-A-F...K-A-F...736."

"How do you researchers and admins--" Brandt started.

"Thaumaturgy, we enter realms of timelessness to endlessly review and learn, then leave. So, I understand this is stuck?" he walked up to the tendrils and started kicking it. "Hm, yes, that is stuck."

"Did you really just kick that?" Brandt asked.

"Most anomalies aren't that deadly; hell, I'm more dangerous than most," Jay said.

"Wow," I said, "bit self-centered, don't you--"

His eyes turned purple "Tauran, punch yourself in the face."

It was a good suggestion; I then punched myself in the--"what the actual--"

Jay laughed "yeah most anomalies are weak to mind control." He took off his glasses, placing them in his coat pocket.

"Wait," Brandt asked, "Jay Fawkes--"

"Dr. Jay Edward Fawkes."

I put all my energy into not scoffing in front of the man who could literally make me punch myself.

"No, uh, Fawkes?"

Jay scowled.

"N--number 9?"

His face lit up, started jumping, "yeah! You know me! That's my Prime! In college I accidently mind controlled the pass rushers so they found I was anomalous--anyway yeah, I got split as a researcher and he's still out there--do you want my autograph?" he started flexing.

At that point, the intercom, with the voice from the admin I contacted, "Jay Fawkes, please deal with the active containment breach, over."

He groaned, "right," turned to the tendrils then snapped, fingers releasing a flash of white and red, a mass of flames--Brandt I started coughing.

"Dude!" Brandt shouted, "you have to warn us! You could kill someone!"

"Have," Jay laughed.

Brandt and I exchanged a look.

"No--you guys have conscious transportation set up! You die, you get revived!"

"Wait, r--really?" Brandt asked.

"Remember the black helmet scan? They track your conscious, mind, brain, soul, some...other stuff I'm sure, you are fine. Why do you think you're janitors unprotected, with shotguns?" he laughed, "kill and revive is cheaper than treating your wounds."

An...oddly comforting chill ran through my spine.

"I mean, hell, how do you think--" he gestured around, "we just operate in the shadows? Without endless tech? Without our own anomalies?"

"Our own--" I began.

"Was talking to an RTF earlier, told him we anomalously make everything in Great Low Costs."

"Anom--"

"You two should be fine," Jay looked to the side, "shit," and shot more fire from his hand, "sorry, missed a spot; you two work for a very special place, do not forget that."

"Um--"

"Need anything? Just ask," as he teleported away?

I pulled out my phone.

"No--"

"Have to try," and called the Administrator.

"What do you want?" the voice asked.

"Um..." pause, "...ammunition?"

"Granted."

---

A god hides in the audience of a cruel king’s speech as he claims he was chosen by that god to rule. The god is now pissed, because they absolutely *didn’t* choose him, they chose someone else entirely.

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You are consigned to the tower; a sentence of loneliness and solitude ...with the other princesses trapped here before you?

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Convinced that you intentionally wronged her, the witch cursed you, so that you would be as hideous on the outside as you are on the inside. You are actually a rather nice person, the witch is just an asshole, so all she did was give you a glow up.

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You face the Great Sphinx, but the one asking the riddle is a tiny, trembling sphinx no bigger than a dog. She breaks down crying and runs to the Great Sphinx, who sighs: “Sorry, it’s her first time. Please let her try again.”

---

You are the weakest, the absolute bottom of the barrel in your Village. After joining a trading caravan the second you turned 18 to escape the constant bullying, the Leader of the Caravan asks you how in all thats holy you are lifting and comfortably carrying 200kg without even breaking a sweat.

---

I decided to start posting stories on a weekly basis like...

...everyone else on WritingPrompts with a subreddit. I was initially hesitant since I thought getting notifications would be annoying, but I realized since that was a stupid stance. Worst case, someone will simply mute the notifications, and it allows the subreddit to be a more easily accessible archive without having to go to an external spreadsheet.

I also went ahead and made flairs which will be updated on old posts...

...hopefully soon, I want to get around to that, but it took 8 hours to make it and while I've been updating the new ones, the old ones will take a bit. Spreadsheet will continue to be updated: it's easier to copy from the spreadsheet to here, than to copy here then paste to the spreadsheet.

I walked out to the living room, a roar of "Happy Birthday!" from friends and family.

A smile crept over my face, the presents were on the table, and...red envelope...great...

I have an especially bad history with them. My best friend Joseph didn't believe his date, so he lied. Told us it was ~20 years from then.

He died the next day, car filled with many of his things. We found the envelope in his room. His was slightly unique, in that it just had the word 'tomorrow' on it. It's been an unusually dreadful six months. Len checked his envelope with me, he got his two weeks ago and showed me his date, being 70 years from now.

So, we did birthday stuff, opened the presents, and I pocketed the envelope to open in private. Everyone left, and sure enough, went to my room. The back was stuck, so unopened, I pulled the paper out, and...

...

...nothing?"

Checked both sides, edges--it's supposed to appear in the middle, but if there's some kind of mistake...

I put it next to my lamp and turned the light on, but no. No invisible ink. I put the paper back in the envelope, then pulled it back out, took a picture of both sides and sent it to Len, before putting it back again. Deep breath...

-

Following morning, I woke up to an unread text. Multiple, actually.

Couple from others wishing a happy birthday, then Len.

Is this a joke?

I took a breath

No. I swear it's empty.

Seriously?

Yes!

That's so weird...

-

I didn't think about the envelope until years later. It was my daughter's birthday party.

When my daughter, Kaley, opened her Red Envelope, she asked "Empty?"

I invited Len, who turned to me, "Wyatt, wasn't yours also empty?"

"Yeah," I replied.

"What does it mean, dad?"

I looked around, my home...we were in the living room, surrounded by all the things my wife and I gathered over the years; knitting, a treadmill, stamp collections, our tax records, and the few science experiments our daughter had kept out here (mainly her volcano, since it was too large to put in her room (and trophies; we were proud of them)). Even the...odd things, like the IV I had when I had cancer; lucky to catch it early.

"Yours are empty?" my Wife, Jane asked. "mine said 29 years from now!" admittedly, I never thought of the date.

I walked towards the attic entrance, pulling down the ladder, climbed up, retrieved it, opening the envelope and...still empty. I brought it back, "see?"

"Yeah," Len replied, "he showed it to me years back."

"Now our daughter has this?"

I shrugged.

My daughter Kaley shrugged "probably doesn't mean much..."

My life from that point was pretty boring, not that I cared. My daughter became a CEO after some time (she never told me anything about it).

-

My wife passed over a decade ago. My stamp collection, my TV, some pictures I drew, a football I had in the living room Kaley and I passed sometimes, our--my treadmill, I'd gotten rid of many of her things like her knitting supplies out of...

...I don't want to say remorse. Surely...not, right? The envelopes, they know our death, but...was Joseph supposed to die? His car...something I always refused to think about, but...he had many things, many personal things, his treasures, an art book of his that burned in the flames...and food...did he not believe it? Or...was he trying to escape it? Was my wife...supposed to...

...or did the envelope know we wouldn't...

The doorbell rang, on my 97th birthday. I still could...kind of walk, I'd made a point to keep my body...not in shape, but more...not out of shape. I opened the door, and, on the footsteps, I found...another Red Envelope?

I picked it up, closing the door behind me as I grabbed my letter opener, then pulled out a note.

'We'll see'.

That...was odd.

My daughter entered. "Kaley!"

"Hi, dad, how is it in here..." she looked around "the old house..."

"Yeah, how goes it?" she asked, looking like the day she turned 21.

"Good! Just around doing my things."

Pause.

That's when I realized...she didn't just look like the day she turned 21, she looked 21. "Kaley dear?"

She took a breath "so...my company had a bit of a breakthrough..."

"What, reverse the aging process?"

"...yeah, actually..." she pulled out a bottle filled with a liquid of pine, and many medium and vibrant greens--

"Wait, really?"

"This bottle can reverse the process...it's in earlier stages of testing, but..."

I grabbed the envelope, looking at the front. We'll see.

"Still blank?" my daughter asked.

I shook my head, "I think that ones in the attic...this one's new..."

"What does it say?"

"'We'll see'."

Kaley took a breath, "is there a backside?"

I turned it to the back, and read aloud "Your choice, 2 and a half years from today, or, once more, blank."

Kaley walked up to me, pulling up a chair and sat down.

I held the note up to my lamp, and unseen ink began to appear 'I will wait eternally, dear. But if you accept, they see great things ahead! I will see you again, we will meet once more in eternity.' I took a breath, "looks like...Jane added something."

"Really?"

"Yes..." I replied.

"She's waiting for me, but...sounds like she wants me to accept."

Kaley looked down at the concoction. "Well?"

I closed my eyes, grabbed it, and twisted the cap off. I took a sip--it actually tasted great, surprisingly, and once finished, I felt all my wrinkles disappear, my bones lose pain, my back...everything...is back again.

"I guess that's why the envelope was blank," Kaley said.

"Did you receive one when you...made this?"

She nodded, "It told me I ended Death, signed...'After'."

"So..." I began, standing, my back not in pain, my knees perfectly fine, my arthritis gone and my vision no longer blurry, I could see again! "how potent is this stuff?"

"It basically makes the person far younger--we have specific doses, I just gave you a dose to be about 20. Microdoses can heal injuries too," she pulled out a couple tiny vials, "take these if you're in pain or about to die.

"Cool, well, Dad's gonna go bungie jumping then!"

"Are you going to do everything dangerous now?"

"I always wanted to but..." pause. "...I was always afraid to..."

---

Slight rewrite of https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1uod6g7/wp_everyone_in_the_world_on_their_21st_birthday/ added some extra stuff, didn't remove any. Didn't change the story in place because honestly felt the new version wasn't better enough to justify it (I think it's better, just very little)

Chapter 1

I got a letter from a local town, filled to the brim with cash, as well as a note, reading ‘hello Aurora, we hope this letter finds you well and in good faith,’ I checked the envelope again, not much else, other than a stamp, ‘we have heard of you recently, we do not have any Bards here, in Carlisle, and have admittedly tried bashing our recent issues. Since then, we’ve decided to try a bard, and heard good things about you from other local villages. Please, show this letter’ I checked the back, royal seal, ‘to the guards, and they will happily escort you to me. If you wish to deny, we have included a stamp to send this, and the money, back. If you accept, there is more cash’.

I took a breath, I could use the cash, but I don’t know what the job is…well, I guess, worst case, I could just…give him back the cash on the spot…yeah, I’ll do it, just…don’t know why they need me. 

I’m a Paradisian. We’re intelligent, we’re song…ly, and have good claws, but we’re not strong, weaker than Humans, even, among others, and…by the sounds of it, whatever they were dealing with was worth some strength. I have purple feathers that light up like an Aurora in the light (hence my name) from a land of beautiful men and women. A land where beauty is a dime a dozen, but the most talented dancers and singers fight at the top. Here, in a land of war, Strong Orcs, magical Elves, agile, clawed Torrans, athletic, strong Lufus…everything, I am not, is what they all wanted. 

I still wonder if I should return home…but…to be another generic dancer…

…still a good pay - 

No, stop it Aurora. I made my choice. 

I was already in my traveling vest, grabbed some clothes, my guitar with metal strings, and some other assorted supplies. I…am unsure if I can fly…

Avians need to be fit and, more importantly, light, in order to fly. Wings are muscles, and can be trained like any other, able to carry even the most muscle-bound Avians, but still not much else. Other muscles help, arms offer (very minimal) assistance, and legs give a (quite literal) jumpstart. Being unable to fly was shameful - gluttony overtaking those unable to control themselves. Avian militaries wear little armor, our fighters often using hit-and-run ambush tactics to overwhelm the enemy. I have no real armor, and am not the greatest fighter to begin with, so I really hope the letter isn’t lying, and it’s a diplomatic mission. 

So, I walked to the outskirts of the city where there no tall buildings, ran, jumped and…I can fly, thank gods. 

I’ve been up before, the green leaves I’ve flown over hundred times at least, the temperate leaves…I miss the rainforest. Main thing to fly over was the roads, they had distinct turns, but was easy to not check..

At some point I saw a caravan guarded by soldiers, they looked like ants covered in metal plates. Never ceased to look silly from up here.

Soon enough, I arrived at the Blue Dog Tavern, and had to do the fun (hard) part: landing.

Deep breath…deeeeep breath…I descended in a downward spiral, turning and turning, then, as I reached the ground, held my wings out flat, holding my feet out and OW! Running running - and, slowing…slowing down, stop. Deep…

…that part always sucked. But, Blue Dog Tavern. I entered the door, “Aurora!” said the barkeeper, jumping behind the blued wood of the tavern, “here to play a couple songs?”

“Yeah,” I said, pulling out my guitar.

“Knock yourself out, hey everyone, Aurora’s here!”

Some of the patrons walked over, most looked over but didn’t stand, and I played a set.

Couple hours, couple dozen gold, the owner noticed as I walked to the bar, “you done for the night?”

I nodded, “can I get a…screw it, gin?”

He nodded, “yeah,” poured a glass, then pushed it towards me, “thanks again.”

“Thanks for the room,” I replied.

“Anytime,” I performed for tips, owner gave me a free room and drink.

Morning, I left, “see you again, Aurora,”

“You too, Frank,” as I walked out, and jumped flying to the city, once more above the greens of the leaves. Within the day, I should arrive.

And, speaking of, there’s the city! The towers and walls…well, towered over the forest, and the local area was cleared for fields of…black? The farms had their buildings, but…they were scorched too, some torn down…

As I got closer, I noticed the fields were dark, dead, but they didn’t necessarily seem scorched by fire…odd, but, either way. Scorched not in fire, but…dark green…

Close to the walls, I went low, landed (hurting my feet again) and stood before the doors, two guards in full plate, wearing helmets and blue tabards, held out their halberds, “do you have a reason to be here?” asked one, “the city is on lockdown currently.”

I pulled out the letter. Before I handed it to them, they loosened their stance upon noticing the city’s royal seal, and I handed it to one of them. “Oh, Aurora? I heard a bit about you,” he said.

I nodded.

He rolled up the paper back to the way I handed it to him, as he gave it back, “you may proceed, let me unlock the gate,” as he pulled out one of his (50?) keys, and the gate made a clunk, as it opened, “have a good day,” he said

“Thank you,” I nodded, walking into the open door onto the cobblestone roads, shining wood structures with colorful paint flanking either side. The guards glanced but did little else.

I sometimes thought about flying directly to the castle, but that seemed like a great way to get shot at.

Even still, didn’t get to walk through the city, see the popular restaurants, bakeries, all the people walking, children playing, things that…

…are…

…not happening?

…

The streets are empty, I stopped, looking around, but kept walking. I’ve been here many times before, it’s a large place, yet…it’s quiet. I feel like…silence…

The walk was simple, and uneventful. I kept looking around, I held the letter in my hand after a while so the guards knew I wasn’t just paranoid, but…

…as soon as I reached the stone castle, the newest set of guards took a step forward, then, one saw the seal, said “oh, you must be Aurora.”

“Yes,” I said, as both guards stepped aside.

“Thank you,” I gave a quick bow, then walked through the gate.

Entering the main hall, golden columns above copper (colored) hard floors, fireplace at the opposite end, stairs to either side. I glanced around, until I saw another guard, wearing a tabard over chainmail, and a helmet in his arms, leaving his soft, Elven face and long, black hair revealed. “Aurora?” he asked, “we don’t get many purple Paradisians here.”

“Yes,” I replied, “are you - “

“The Duke’s Bodyguard.”

“So, you’ll take me to him?”

“Y - yes, sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” I replied, as I followed him up the stairs “what’s your name?”

He replied “Vaelor,” he replied.

I wasn’t sure if I heard him right, “Valor?”

He laughed (with a hint of pain) “that um…well, in Elven, the word for valor is different, we don’t - “

“Have a word that sounds like valor?”

He shook his head.

“Sucks,” I replied, as we reached the second floor.

“What does Aurora mean?”

“My feathers in light look like - well, an aurora.”

“Reeeally?” he stopped, turning his head.

I nodded.

He pulled out a stick with a bright gold light, and hovered it above my feathers, the purple revealing brilliant hues of blue, green, red, and a newer, more vibrant purple. “Wow…” he said quietly, as he began to put his light…stick away. “Oh, this isn’t harmful,” he twice tapped his palm, then held it for a moment, now putting it away. 

I nodded “most people immediately grab a light.”

“Oh, sorry - “

“No,” I laughed, “it’s…I love seeing it, too.”

A smile crept onto his face, as he once more walked. “Good to hear.”

“Yeah.”

We talked a bit - mostly about the light stick. Apparently it’s a fine piece of wood, given a permanent light spell via ingrained arcana crystals. 

Then, we reached him; the duke, who sat at a desk, looking over various scrolls. Vaelor cleared his throat “sir?”

He jumped, as he turned. “Aurora!” he stood, his hand out to shake, I grabbed his soft skin and gave him a quick shake, “I see you got my letter!”

“It…found me well,” I replied.

He laughed (from how bad that was I think, but laughter nonetheless) “we’ve been talking, and…Vaelor?”

He sighed, nodding as he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

“What’s - “

“He is not a part of this,” he replied.

“A part of…”

The duke sighed, he glanced to the floor, then said “we have a dragon issue.”

“And he is - “

“By my side, away from the dragon.”

“I see, okay, so…why me?” I asked. 

“Well - “

“Why not knights and wizards and like…cannons or siege engines?”

“We…” he sighed, “...tried that…”

“Oh,” I said. “Okay, well…do you want me to like…viscious mockery?”

“I mean - “

“Because I don’t actually know a lot of combat…stuff,” I had a metal guitar and a shortsword. That’s it. (and claws).

“We have been discussing it here, and…” he was fidgeting with his thumbs, “my scholars, and fighters, and I…and scouts, came to an agreement, we cannot really kill the dragon.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Hey - “

“Yeah, dragons are hard to kill.”

He sighed, “and…by the looks of it…” pause.

“Yes?”

“I’ll just…I’ll get to the point; the dragon that terrorizes our farms and homes - an attack was - was just today - “

“That’s why everyone was inside,” I muttered.

“Yes,” he nodded, “yes - the dragon isn’t evil, just…lonely.”

“Lonely?”

“There…there was an attack on the dragon by an…individual, then the dragon, in retaliation, attacked us. We sent our knights and such, and…and the coffers and manpower have been a bit - bit looser than we would have liked, but in the name of solving the dragon issue - “

“Which it didn’t?”

“The dragon is…now angrier, yes - it -” he trailed off  “it didn’t solve a single…” 

“Okay,” I replied. “So…you got great warriors and all that - “

“Barbarian tribes, too - “

“Gods - “

“So we wanted to try a bard!” he said, “someone - someone who is peaceful, you play music, right?”

“Yeah,” I tapped my guitar twice.

He laughed (insecurely,) “of course,” he replied, “of course of course, that’s why you have - “

“And what’s in it for me?” I asked

“Well,” he began, “the - the dukedom is a bit dry right now, but…” there was a pause.

My eyebrow raised.

“You already got - “

“I specifically remember the letter saying there’d be more.”

“Well,” he began, “you see…is what we put not - ”

“It’s - “ I took a breath, “under - yes, normal circumstances. Normal, circumstances.”

He nodded, “but a dragon - “

“No, is not normal.”

“Okay, okay okay…” he took a breath “I understand…”

I scratched my beak.

“Does that hurt?”

I shrugged, “a little? Much as fingernails on skin I imagine.” think…think think think…

“I can get you a guard!” he said, “escort! Anything to make the job easier!”

Anything…

“Mages, Wizards, Fighters - “

“Why?” I asked.

“Did you not hear - “

“No, why - why more combatants?” I asked.

“For protection!”

“At this point?” I asked, “after all the dead?”

He sighed, “Yes, well, perhaps this time - “

I finally had an idea “Two carts.”

“Carts? Of soldiers?”

“Meat,” I replied. “Two carts or wagons or whatever of beef.”

He turned his head, “sorry?”

“I need it. For the dragon.”

“As a gift…?”

“Sure,” I replied, “but so the dragon knows I’m there on better terms.”

“Oh…Oh!” he said, “and…a sorcer - “

“NO!” I shouted, he jumped, “no - no combatants! Just two wagons, meat, and…well, two normal civilians. Alright?” I asked.

“Um…”

“If I show up without anything, what is the dragon going to think?” 

“Okay…okay!” he said.

“And they cannot have weapons; I will check.”

“O…kay…”

“Understand?”

“Um…”

“You wanted a bard, right?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Then, we’ll do it the bard way.”

He nodded, “I understand.”

Chapter 2

Wagons

The duke gave me a room to rest at for free. Bunch of gold and marble gaudiness - standard royal guest room affair.

The following morning, I stood on the balcony overlooking the city, and the streets were filled with people - men, women, children, Humans, Elves, Orcs, Lufus to name some; stands and carts on cobblestone streets, people running and talking and children playing and…and…

…it looked like a city…everyone around, like people lived here and wanted to.

I started walking from the balcony into my room, grabbing my equipment, guitar, sword, food…grabbed my tunic and held it for a moment. It had an enchantment, though nothing special; just detected if someone in my vicinity had either growing, or current hostility/wanted to attack me. Rarely useful (thankfully) but something I desperately want when speaking with a dragon.

As I opened the door, Vaelor appeared, “hi,” he began, “Aurora, the Duke assembled your request. They’re downstairs at the gate, awaiting your arrival,” as he bowed - 

“Please, you don’t need to bow,” I said, “I’m sure any other place you’d be the one hired.”

He laughed, then stopped, “dark idea,” he muttered.

I nodded.

I walked downstairs, Vaelor following me. “Do you offer combat lessons?” I asked.

“I train every day, I suppose after, you could partake,” he replied. “Why?”

I briefly drew my sword, then sheathed it.

“Don’t use it much?”

“Always used my guitar instead,” I replied, “easier, plus it’s usually out.”

“Is your guitar…your weapon?”

“Yeah, uh, it’s got indestructible enchantments on it - “

“Ooh, nice!”

“Yeah!” I replied, “so it’s safe to use as a melee weapon,” breath, “mostly like an oversize mace.”

“Then why the sword?”

“It’s easy to block the giant guitar, so they block it, and - “ I once more drew my sword.

“Is the sword enchanted?”

“Not that I know of; got it from a blacksmith who liked my performance, I said I was travelling, he had a shortsword he couldn’t sell, so we agreed to 1 Gold, and a private performance.”

“Private - “

“I played his and his wife’s song when they got married.”

“Aw…”

“Yeah,” I replied. “Pays to do well.”

Silence.

Finally, we reached the wagons out front, four men in nothing but light tunics and leather pants stood, shaking. “As per your request,” Vaelor began, “no defenses.”

“We’re not going to fight the dragon,” one of them asked, “right?”

“No,” I replied, hand on hip, “we’re going to the dragon to be kind.”

“That’s worse!” one of the others shouted.

“What are your names?”

“Armondo,” one replied, a Human male in front with brown eyes and hair.

“Copper,” a smaller Human with red boots for some reason, as well as black hair and mustache.

“Igor,” a tall Orc answered, wearing a tank tunic, and shorter jeans.

“Shrotter,” groaned a stout dwarf, flexing his arms. “I can’t believe you’re going to the dragon.”

“We’ll be safe,” I replied, “once we reach the dragon, you guys can all run. I promise.”

All but Igor shivered. “Are you sure?” asked Shrotter.

“What I’m paid - “

“No, no…” Shrotter growled, “Vaelor, are you sure - “

“Knights have been slewn by the dozen,” he replied, “we may as well try kindness.”

“No.” Shrotter said.

“Sorry?” Vaelor asked.

“I refuse! This was not worth the 100 notes you offered! I quit! You can come by my place later, I’ll refund you all.”

“Um,” Vaelor started. 

I placed a hand on his shoulder, “no,” I replied, “let - let him go. I don’t need him dragging us down.”

Vaelor turned to me, then them. “Alright,” he said, “double the notes to you, if you go.”

“Thank you,” Armondo said.

I turned and whispered to Vaelor “Why are they not - “

“Impoverished, not much choice,” Vaelor replied. “Except Igor.”

I nodded, then clapped my hands, “it’s time! Let’s go!”

Igor saluted, as the two Humans took a car, Igor took one to himself.

I approached Igor’s cart, but he said “don’t worry, I got this.”

“Looks heavy,” the meat was at the walls, exceeding the limits in the center, “you - well, are an orc,” I laughed.

He chuckled “I’ll call you if I need help, alright? But I promise I got this. Focus on what you’ll say to the dragon, please.”

I nodded. I walked back to Vaelor, who said “I’ll lead you to the dragon,” Before I could respond, he said “it’s in an opening. Once spotted, I’ll leave so your no weapons rule isn’t violated.”

“Before then?” I asked.

“Highwaymen,” he replied.

I sighed, he had a good point. “Fine…” we were carrying a lot of salted meat, even if somewhat rotten, it was still better than nothing to some.

We walked to the edge of town, leaving the gate. As we did, we then started moving back towards the castle, as the walls prevented us from going North, where the dragon is (I hate one-gate cities like this, but maaan does it make defense easier so I sadly understand…)

Armondo and Copper took the wagon by themselves, but Igor was ahead of them. Vaelor was walking ahead of us, turning every now and then to ensure we still behind him, while I stood behind the two. I caught up to Igor, “how are you so strong?” 

He turned to me “please, I’m not that - “

I pointed to Armondo and Copper.

He laughed, “alright, for a Human, yeah - “

“You have the strength of two,” I replied.

He sighed, “Orc stuff?”

“C’mon,” I replied.

He laughed, “alright, I’m the town butcher.”

“Really? So this - “ I gestured to the wagons.

“Yep, Duke paid handsomely, then mentioned they needed someone to push.” He took a breath, “daughter’s first day manning the shop alone, so…she’s fine, but I still worry.”

“Father’s always do.”

I’m not sure if he laughed, or was annoyed then. 

“As an Orc, we gain strength from the mere consumption of meat.”

“Really?”

“An Orc need not exercise to become a guard for a Human city; exercise, of course, vastly increases the strength.”

“I did not know that…”

Pause.

“What?”

Igor’s face was puzzled[CD], “you aren’t from round here, right?”

I flinched.

“You’re from Paradise?”

“Yes,” I replied, “Paradisian from…well, Paradise.”

“Why did you leave?”

“Are you from here?” I asked.

“Sort of, I was from an Orc raiding party. When I was seven, my parents settled down here.” Pause. “We don’t get many Paradisians here.”

I took a breath. “Well…”

“Your feathers are gorgeous, may I add.”

“Yes,” I replied, blushing a little.

“So…why?”

“Well,” I began, “I came from the city Paradise, and…and well, Paradise is large. Technically, Ria but that’s not - when I turned 18, I went into dancing and…well, I was really good at it. I was well - “ I gestured at my feathers, “always under the spotlight, especially in one of the tourist clubs.”

“Popular?”

“Most,”  I replied. “Made excellent money and all that.”

“So,” he said, “back to my question, why leave?”

I took a breath, “because…” I patted my guitar, “dancing…dancing was fun and all, but…I wanted to sing. I wanted to perform, and…” I sighed, “I dunno, at some point the money felt so…unfulfilling.”

He did not respond.

“It’s a place where beauty is a dime a dozen. Even if you are the most gorgeous, there’s ten right there who are more than happy to take your place at the slightest sign of weakness,” I replied, “and the ones who pursue talent and aren’t good enough…”

“Lot of competition?”

I nodded, “loads. Day by day, couple new performers try and get their foot in the door.”

He sighed “and…you?”

“Well,” I began, “...I…I was one of them.” I sighed, “wasn’t good enough, had to dance, eventually…went to the warring areas, where there aren’t so many performers.”

“Strange irony,” he replied.

“Land of peace, out of reach, with bountiful harvests, no worry to starve,” I replied. 

“Explains why you haven’t trained on a sword.”

“I hadn’t touched one until I was 17.” Silence. “You?”

“Since I was 5,” he replied, “magic, sword, missile, you name it I know it,” he answered. “Fighting styles, every weapon tried once.”

“Really? Master of - “

“No!” he half-shouted, laughing, “Gods I begged my parents to let me train on a select-few weapons. I wanted to master a couple, not be an apprentice with an armory.”

“Oh…”

“Left at 20, finally trained exclusively on the sword and bow.”

We talked for a bit, within the day, set up camp and slept. Morning, walked once more, and, in two hours, reached an empty, charred clearing, in sight of a large, green dragon.

“Oh no…” Armondo said.

“That’s her?” I asked.

Vaelor nodded, as he turned. “My side of the agreement complete,” and walked back. 

“We should follow him!” Armondo said, “Aurora this isn’t worth it!”

“What?”

“The dragon in the sky looked so small!” Copper said.

Pause. I had to process it - “are you saying you thought, up close, it would be the same size as it was in the sky?”

“I’ve never been this close to a dragon!” Armondo whispered. “Please let’s go let’s go!”

I sighed, “the point is to be nice to her - “

“Female dragons are larger, right!?” asked Copper, hiding behind his wagon.

I turned to Igor, who was staring them down. “Igor?” I asked.

“I can bring it up,” he said. “If these two want to run.”

“Yes! Thank you!” Armondo said, as he and Copper bolted.

I groaned “idiots…thanks again, since you’re doing both, want any - “

“Sure, yeah” he stepped to the side, and I began pushing the cart with him, reaching just outside of the dragon’s fire breath distance. “I’ll grab the other one,” as Igor began running.

And the dragon turned, looking to me. “Who are you,” asked the dragon.

I pulled out one of the steaks, “hungry?”

The dragon stared for a moment, then nodded.

I walked closer, then chucked the steak at her head, her mouth opening then snapping closed, swallowed without chewing. She chuckled, “little thing, you are.”

“I am,” I replied, pulling out my guitar.

“What is that device?” The dragon…smirked? (Can dragons smirk? Shit I don’t know…) “another trinket? That’ll supposedly killed me? And I get yet another meat cart?”

“Another? I’m not the first?”

“Hm,” she said, shaking her head. 

“No,” I said, “this is a guitar,” I plucked one of the strings. “It plays music.”

“To end me?”

“No!” I said. She…did she flinch? “It’s just an instrument I use to play music, sometimes as hit people with it as a weapon but…” I laughed, “I can’t really, um, do that to you…”

Her face (seemed) neutral, but her gaze was practically staring at my soul.

“I’m a bard, I play tavern songs, I used to be a dancer,” I took a breath, “from Paradisia.”

The dragon continued its silence.

“Do you have any dragon songs?”

“‘Dragon songs’?” she echoed.

(Where the hell is Igor?) “Yeah, like - “

“No, I know what…” the dragon exhaled (I think that’s a dragon laugh?) with streaks of green, olive, yellow, essence and soul shard - 

“Oh! You’re a life dragon.”

“Yes,” she nodded, “I am.”

Life dragons are really cool! They breath pure life essence, immune to fae. They also have a connection to life forces and souls and signatures; her gaze, most likely, is actually staring into my soul, in the most literal sense. They also can heal at will and drain the essence of those that are close enough…to…them… “...you aren’t gonna drain me of my…essence, or…right?”

She did not respond.

“O…okay…” I said, “well, do you know any fun songs? We could maybe play together?”

The dragon, after a moment, looked to the sky. “I…I do, actually.”

“Well, a lot about killing, but…”

“Well,” I shrugged, “why not tell me?”

The dragon sighed, “no…no thank you, it’s…morbid. Lot of slaughtering Humans and - “

“I have a song like that!”

Okay, now she flinched - the cave roared with an echo of her simply stepping back. “Really!?”

“An old song,” I strummed the guitar, trying to remember… “it’s…my guitar’s in the wrong key for this one, but…”

“You cannot be serious!” she roared. 

I started singing an old Paradisian/Osreian song, long sweeping verses, strumming the guitar for the short intro,
“Take a day, to the skies
In a world blessed for us we fly’d
Keep a watch out for the slingers of fire
To hide behind the Walls that Guide

Live free under our great sky
Oh what they would give for it to not be mine
Oh on these great wings I’d rather die
Than a fire slinger on the ground, jealous of thi sky of mine”

The dragon held up her paw, so I stopped. “Don’t like - “

“I’ve heard that…” she said, her head down.

“Really?”

“I…I always thought it meant us, but…”

I shook my head, “slingers of fire refers to the Humans’, among others, guns.”

“Guns…” she said quietly, “those…we always called them explosion tubes.”

“Explo - “ I grabbed my beak to prevent laughter.

But the dragon was laughing too, “always a bit of a mocking name. They explode, but, nothing to our prowess.”

I nodded, “written during the Human-Paradisian war. And, Osreia sung it too. Really popular song.”

“What’s it called?”

“The Walls that Guide,” I replied.

“Hm…” she took a breath, “okay…I feel…more comfortable, now…”

“Did you assume all of us…I dunno, smaller beings got along?”

“Yes,” she instantly replied.

“Really?”

She shrugged (dragons can shrug today I learned) “we fight many of your kind together,” she answered, “though…guess I’ve never seen a Human with…any kind of Avian, really. And Avians…usually fight with other Avians.”

I nodded, “national similarities,” I replied. I heard quiet footsteps behind me, I drew my sword and pointed its tip at… “oh!” I said, sheathing my blade, “Igor! I’m sorry, I - “

“Should have said something,” he sighed, “I was…was sneaking up.”

“Why?”

His eyes gestured at the dragon, who huffed. “I’ve…I’ve never been this close…” I realized he was looking at the dragon now. “It’s…terrifying,” he laughed, “you could kill us in a breath, but…”

“You have not provoked me,” she replied.

I nodded, “the Duke said we attacked you first.”

Igor nodded, “one of the scouts never came back we heard, found you, they sent a party.”

The dragon was silent.

“Well?” I asked.

“The scout did not attack me,” she said, “he was killed by bears. I merely ate his corpse.”

“Oh…”

“I have a song,” Igor said.

“Really?”

“I - I’m a Blacksmith - “

“Blacksmith?”

“I don’t play music, like her, but - “

“Ah, neither do I,” the dragon replied. “What’s it about?”

“Alcohol.”

She laughed, “poison, you write songs about that poison?”

“Yes,” replied Igor, “it makes things…a little more fun.”

“Hm. Sing it.”

“Um…” he cleared his throat, “Come together to the tavern,”

“Ooh!” I said, “I play this one a lot!”

“You play at Orc taverns?”

“Human, Orc - it’s a popular one!” pause. “Sometimes it has lyrical variations but I’ll play,” as I started strumming my guitar.

Igor nodded, then half-sang, half stated flatly “Come together to the tavern
Black out, like we were found, ‘nd
Pounds of mead
And a little bit of greed
That’s what we call happy
Some liquor here
We’ll float down there
That’s why we call it happy”

The Dragon was laughing. “Amusing, you sing about that poison?”

“A lot, it’s the most oft-requested songs,” I replied.

The dragon’s mouth was agape. “So much I didn’t know about you little things…we always thought of you as…”

“Ants?”

“What are ants?”

“Little insects that - “

“Insects?”

“Yeah like…bugs?”

Blank.

“Spiders? Arachnids?”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about…”

“They’re like…the size of a flower petal? The small ones?”

“I…” she took a breath, “have been informed, that, there are flowers the size of your hands, so…I will take your word for it. But…if I am picturing the size, yes. We think of you as…insignificant little…things.”

“We see you as destroyers,” Igor offered.

She glared at him.

“I…don’t know why I said that.”

She laughed a bit.

I did some more songs, Igor asked for a couple Orquish ones, I was on Paradisian songs I never got to play in most taverns; too few Avians, outnumbered by those who couldn’t fly or appreciate it.

The dragon laughed “that about your kind too? Singing in the sky?”

“Yeah! It’s our anthem.”

The dragon laughed, “well, you have entertained me for this hour…well, perhaps I’ll tell you more of my kind,” she held out her talons, “so, you know Life Dragons, but did you know our claws can take life force?”

“Yeah.”

“Even through clothes and armor?”

My head shook as the connection finally clicked “wait, really!?”

“Yes!”

“All that time wasted…” Igor muttered.

“People wear these thick armors, but the reality is, well…it helps none,” she laughed.

“Huh…” I muttered.

She breathed a bit on the ground, cascade of greens and yellows, floating kind of like an…an “Aurora,” the dragon said, “I like you. And you too, Igor.”

“Thank…you…I…nevre told you - “

“Your name.” She nodded, “I can see your soul, you name, your life…” she sighed, “makes me a bit…sad…I see many, and you two…are the first to…not try and kill me.”

“Well…” nothing came out.

“I know,” she replied, “we only kill for food, but…your kind cannot see that. Well - those you are with, Humans and them too…”

A silence overcame us, before I asked “are you bored?”

The dragon turned her head. “Sorry?”

“Are you bored here?”

The dragon took a breath.

“Or, lonely or…”

“Why?” she asked.

“You gave us a chance,” I replied. 

“You had meat.”

“Not a lot, in fairness; you said yourself someone else already tried it.”

Pause. 

“Do you like killing people” had to slip out of my stupid beak.

The dragon jumped, and she…shook her head?

“Then why - “

“They attack me, so…I attack the farms,” she replied. “They provoked me, eye for an eye.”

“That’s…that’s our food,” Igor said quietly.

“Yeah, that - you kill them, is that not enough?”

“A small group of adventurers came after the scout’s death. I tried telling them about the bears, but they didn’t believe me, so I slew them without effort.”

“But - they’re gone already! Why do you need to attack the farms?”

Silence.

“They’ll send more, but by attacking back, you’re giving them a reason to fight!”

Silence.

“At some point, eye for an eye just leaves everyone blind.”

The dragon looked the ground, further silence. 

“Well?” Igor asked. “If you agreed to not attack, and we inform locals of your presence, and that we are not to attack…how do you feel about that?”

“A peace?”

“Yeah,” I replied.

“I…I guess…I could be amenable to that…”

Igor sighed, “sad that people don’t know they’re not out to get us,” Igor said quietly.

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” he turned to the dragon, “you said you don’t like killing; tried to warn the adventurers you had no qualms?”

She nodded.

“This is all a misunderstanding, yet…it’s possible some may starve in winter,” I saw the dragon droop from the corner of my eye, “we…we may be safe, importing food - I know we have good grain reserves, but…it could get down to rations…”

I turned to the dragon. “What if we had schools come here? Children could see you and teachers…if…if you’re not violent…?”

“It’s mostly retaliatory,” she replied.

“Well, we’ll see,” I said, as I pulled out my crossbow.

“What are you doing?” asked both Igor and the dragon.

“Igor, um, stand over there?” I pointed far off, as I pointed my crossbow at the dragon. “Testing you.” She looked…expectant. “Where are your scales strongest?”

“Top.”

I nodded, aiming up, and pulled the trigger, the bolt racing towards her scales, snapping into useless two. “Did you even feel that?”

“No.”

“Of course, no wonder…” I groaned, pulled out another bolt “stupid crossbow…load this dumb…” and aimed. “Underbelly has low scales, right?”

She nodded, eyes wide.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Igor asked.

“No,” I replied, “but you’ll live, you can tell the Duke about this.”

“...okay…” he said quietly.

I aimed low, pulling the trigger, the second bolt racing down to her under - 

Blood! She jumped, bashing a bit, tail slamming against the cave as she roared alongside the world quaking, then glared at me, taking long, deep breaths, then…silence. She swallowed, pulling the bolt out. “I forget pain sometimes…” she said, “they…normally attack my scales, hands and legs, their larger engines aim for my back, where I’m strongest.”

“Yeah, most ‘adventurers’ are just idiots addicted to gold,” I took a breath, “so…what if, we had kids come here, and…they see you from a distance, no rocks, and you just talk to them, so they know you don’t want to harm them?”

The dragon closed her eyes, then opened them. “...well…”

 “Their parents will hear of it,” Igor offered, “sure some of them would otherwise attack you. But…maybe if they learn you’re not scary…unless provoked…”

“They learn dragons are intelligent, and more than mindless beasts that hate them.”

Her eyes widened, “what? WHAT!? I - I can’t - that’s how your kind - “

“No!” I said, “Well…”

“Avians know,” Igor said, “they have to fly with them. My kind…” he sighed, “I…I didn’t know dragons could talk.”

She looked at Igor, and her eyes, somehow, grew wider. “I…I can’t believe this!”

“I could be lying, you - “

“No. I can see your soul, I can see you’re telling the truth…” she took a breath, life energies rapidly entering her nostrils, “I…we have farms too! We have cities! We have much, we - “

“Can tell the next generation of children!” I said, “we can teach them nuance! They can learn that most dragons are safe!”

She groaned “yeah…occasionally they do just wanna kill your kind…”

“That will be…a bit more terrifying…” Igor said.

“Yeah,” I replied, “learning the actually dangerous ones are smart too? I am so glad I didn’t become a Knight…”

“Same,” Igor replied.

The dragon nodded, “yes - yes! Tell the duke or whoever I…I want this. I will stop burning down your crops, they will cease their attacks on me, and, in return, we’ll…we’ll learn, we’ll exchanged. Children will learn we are not out to get them.”

Silence.

“So…” Igor started, “you have farms and such…do…do you have…like…”

“Yes, War Engines, Dragon cannons are larger than our children.”

“And…can they - “

“In mere seconds, your cities would be gone.

“Gods…” I muttered.

She nodded, “we don’t attack, simply because…we see no reason to use our greatest equipment. But, from now until forever, hopefully, we will never have to even consider it.”

The angel walked into my laboratory. "Zenumi?" he asked, "I have a bone to pick with you."

"Oh, hey! Did you get my message?"

"...yes," he groaned, "Zenumi, stop putting death curses on immortals!"

"Why?"

"First off, the paperwork is a nightmare. Second off--"

"Second off?" I asked, "how is there more? You haven't killed anyone yet!"

"That's second off!" he replied, "I can't actually kill anyone, that's up to the deities!"

"Like...God?"

"Yes," he replied, "among others. Mythrir I know offers death wishes, but if they go up against anyone protected, you could get a war in the Heavens at worst. At best, nothing happens."

"You mean they die."

He sighed, "what do you want this time?"

"Tthemnomn."

The Angel took a breath, covering his face. "Tthemnomn..."

I nodded, smiling "yeah! He's a bastard!"

"Okay, for starters," he cleared his throat, "Starters, Tthemnomn is an Eldritch being. A deity. A lower deity, lower than, say, Cthulhu, Mythrir, or Thor, Stormbringer--"

"Who the fuck is that?"

"Stormbringer?" the angel asked.

I nodded.

"The one who brings storms?"

"Like the tsunami that destroyed my lab?" pause, "wait, Thor?"

"Yeah, the Norse God--he died in Ragnarök of course--"

"Stormbringer? So he controls...how many storms?"

"Well, he is one of the Stormtreaders, for one, but he is in charge of tsunamis, lightning, rain, hail, snow...if it's weather, he's in charge of it--except for Wind, that's his brother, Stormwind, who--"

"Okay, so, Stormbringer and Stormwind are definitely on the fucking list!"

"List?" Angel asked.

I held out my hands, and cast a hex.

The angel jumped, as a contract, and a pen appeared in either hand. "No! You can cast them immediately!?"

"Yeah!"

"God...just like--you're awful! All this work, all so Gods can say no! All to waste my--"

"Are you immortal?" I asked.

"Huh?"

"Am I immortal?"

"You...have a gilded soul, so...yes, technically. You reincarnate infinitely--"

"Are you immortal?"

"Um...I...I can be revived after some time...but--"

"So, if you were to disappoint me--"

"I don't work for you."

I continued "in some way, some way that required me to...get rid of you...?"

It took him a moment, but his eyes shit wide, he stepped back, "you monster! You...you wouldn't..."

"No...if you'd get to work on that contract--I'll obvious refrain from such an...easy action."

He swallowed, "I...I understand..." as he returned to where he came.

Democracies elect rulers as representatives; kings and dictators only rule by appeasing their various keys to power. Within either of these systems, no ruler rules alone. A sufficiently advanced necromancer - however - can. That is why budding dead states are met with such extreme prejudice.

---

Original Prompt response.

---

There was a brief silence inside the chamber of diplomacy; Kings and Presidents all bathed in thought, and hatred.

"They need to go!" shouted Ikor of the Tor.

"Today!" King Illwan the Great (or, if you lived in his kingdom, Illwan the terrible).

"Now!" King Rudolph of the Crusaders said, "the undead shall not rise! The undead are born wrong!"

Fire Queen Peril of the Parasauri stood, the people ready for her blunt rudeness, said "well...what's necessarily wrong with these states?"

There was a silence, as the entire chamber turned to Peril.

"You must be kidding! These places are wrong!"

Peril shrugged, "these places are built with drones," she replied, "nothing more than...well," she laughed, "mindlessness, dare I say."

The chamber turned into a glance exchange, they all saw little reason as to why Peril, the direct Queen, would be okay with this. She was a great military leader, a warrior, adept arcanocracy. How would she, of all people, be okay with this.

Peril smirked, "are we settled then?"

"No?" someone asked.

"All of you are against it?"

"Yes!" unison.

"Okay, well, I refuse to lend my troops," she stood straight, "hope you all are ready." If I know that girl, she will demolish so much...then all that territory will be mine.

---

I watched my citizens I raised from six feet under building more and more buildings. "Good job!"

They moaned in death, unsure of their purpose. I couldn't help laugh.

"Zenomi?" asked Jay.

"Hey!"

"You got the...all black robes I see."

"Yes! Wanted it to go with my necromancer fashion plus all my silver piercings!"

"Uh...huh..." he looked around. "So, this is the place?"

"Yep! We're going to do so much good for this world!"

"Like?" he asked, crossing his arms.

"You look impatient."

He sighed, pulling out a small notice. "The uh...other rulers, not happy about this."

"Oh, that's okay, my grand necropolis is almost ready!"

He looked around the small farm village.

"Oh this is a necrolage. Necrotown? Necro--doesn't matter, point is, I've started so many cities and everything! All between the nations and when they least expect it, I'll take their homes! Well, long as they don't use...fire."

"That's the...news, I guess, Fire Queen Peril is actually not joining the war."

"Really!?"

He nodded.

I laughed, "fuck yes!"

"Alright, well...see you."

"Jay, before you go..."

"What? Need a king?" he laughed.

"No, I uh..." pause. "Well, I guess you'll see them again, huh?"

"Y...yeah?"

"You have fire powers if you didn't, I was gonna kill you!"

"Um..."

"Or any messenger, for that matter."

"...right,"

"How's your wife? Bandit? Where does she live again?"

"I'm gonna...go..." he cast a fire veil, dammit...

Either way, it was time! My plans were ready, my machinations...

...whatever all that--so many people are gonna die in the name of...

...screw it I'm gonna get so powerful!

---

Weeks, I had hired great instructors. When they asked for payment, they were freshly killed, then reanimated. Still fresh, still remembering, yet inside, broken. Listening to a Maurid Queen, my soldiers learned, the necropolis growing larger day by day. I had the foresight to cloak my greatest cities. The towns, like when I last saw Jay...

ah...Jay...he would've made a great soldier...

...I wish he didn't leave the continent with that stupid wife of his, fucking Bandit...

...what was I--

Right, eventually, the soldiers came. My towns were invaded, men and women clad in armor with spears, fearful of an undead bite. My hordes would swarm and descend, biting and clawing their way into the enemy, who would always think they won. No bodies found, return to camp.

Little did they know, those bites were infectious, and fresh bodies would be retrieved by the burrows underground, creating new, fresh soldiers for me. Then, nightfall. The camps would be out of their armor, weapons away, thinking they were 'successful', against me. Overrun by night, a new army in my grasp. It took me a lot of planning, my original necropolis(es?) were always so expertly hidden, but cloaking can only hide from wandering, idiot fucking adventurers for so long. Always a dumb thing here, sometimes a straggler appears, a party thinking they scored a 'sick new dungeon brah', half-drunk.

In hindsight, I must apologize to these nuisances. They have helped me carefully craft and devise these tactics. My grand new Empire--my undead empire, risen (literally) from the grave, my new armies that came to me, and were taken.

I don't know what was more hilarious. How easy these armies came to me, or the follow-ups. The scouts, search parties, soon more armies, all sunk costs to retrieve what was already lost to begin with.

Did I mention the undead can be re-risen? As long as the body is overall intact (chopping off the head or fire usually did it, but the former was rare, and the latter was something only Fire Queen Peril did)? Did I also mention the dead can be taught magic, like necromancy? Soon, I was ready. My army was prepared, medics in the back, soldiers to rise our fallen to fight for my banner once more, and, well...rise their fallen, to fight for my banner as well. Every death was replaced by itself, and every death they had joined me. Within weeks, cities were captured, destroyed, and revived. Civilians would function under their normal lives, even, with one new thing: they knew, deep down, no matter what, I was their leader.

My Empire spanned tens of thousands of miles, every city I walked into, every citizen knew who I was. Without a thought, they saluted me, and those who weren't found in the first place, the ones who didn't instinctively know their place, well...they would soon learn it. Paradise, happiness, a eutopia, truly, I created the greatest place on this world for myself.

 

 

I made this account to separate my writing stuff from my football discussion stuff. I decided to just link them now.

[You are a demon who was summoned by a human. They have an unusual request. “I want to switch places with you.”](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1gvie5y/comment/ly2wmwa/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)

-

[After Earth loses another species, aliens finally approach humanity offering aid on protecting the planet. The offer is rejected so they respond by releasing a virus that substantially increases the intelligence of animals . Decades pass with humans fighting displacement of species dominance.](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1gvzwk0/comment/ly7vmzb/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)

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[when most people envision a "war mage" they envision what the school of magic churns out: wafer thin scholars shieking "fireball!!" Not a brute with a large greathammer for an arcane focus.](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1gwzbzi/comment/lydv5xq/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)

-

[The first negotiations with the alien race started very poorly because the human ambassador's casual wave, in the aliens' culture, is an extremely obscene gesture.](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1gxtsg3/comment/lyjpp4a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)

-

[You're a summoner in an extremely dire situation. You offer up all the energy you have left to spare to anyone, or anything, that might answer. To your surprise, Death himself answered.](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1gxo69d/comment/lyk5ybq/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)

-

["Are you about to do something stupid?" —"What? No. Shut up. I'm about to do something incredibly clever, which *you* will call stupid because you're jealous of me."](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1gxsa1f/comment/lyk7bko/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)

-

[All of the world's reflections are actually people that live in a parallel dimension running directly in line with ours. You never paid much attention to your own, until one day, you see your reflection-self moving around on its own. And not only can it move, it can talk, and has a lot to say.](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hqy53w/comment/m4ukvpk/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) This last story was made at a much later date (two months after I made Jay Pederson) because I wanted to use Shudo, but wasn't willing to use it with this account yet. I wanted Shudowwolf to be a separate thing, but I've since used Shudo here. I eventually just realized if I really need to I use another stupid account I have from signing in via Google and realizing it was a different account.

Last note: I am planning on making a spreadsheet for all stories instead since it just kinda looks easier, so starting with the spreadsheet these stories will be included.

Jay looks a bit off here among other things, but liked it Not colored because 1) I'm afraid of coloring; I ruin images on accident that way, and I don't know what Riley (the character on the Right's) colors should be either.

But hope you guys like it, thought this was a fun venture to start.

Prequel (EMO NOT TEEN IN ORIGINAL PROMPT WHY CAN'T I EDIT TITLES REDDIT WHYYYY)

---

We had been moving in this...strange metal cage for minutes now. "What did you say this was, again?" I asked.

"A car," she replied.

"How...and how does this work?"

She stopped, while a light hanging above us was red, alongside two other lights that were off. "So, what did you have last, horses?"

"Horse-pulled carriages," I replied.

"Ah, well," she tapped the front, the part of the car in front of a strange circle that was able to turn it, "this thing has an engine."

"Engine..." I said.

"What?"

"I feel like that word is foreign to me now."

"Oh, well like...basically it's a bunch of metal that's fed liquid dinosaurs, essentially - "

"Dinosaurs?" I asked.

She paused, "shit...when did they discover those?"

"What are dinosaurs?" I asked once more.

"Well, current birds evolved from...do you know evolution?"

I shook my head.

"God, you went to sleep before all the cool stuff..." she tapped the wheel, "well, that means you get to learn it all at once..." sigh "this light fucking sucks..."

"Why not go forward?" I asked.

She pointed at another one of these metal cages with wheels, "okay, so, we're at an intersection, and, the light lets other cars go, so - " the light turned green, and we started moving "...we wait our turn, to prevent crashes. These things go...well, here it's only 35 an hour, so - "

"35 what?"

"Miles."

"Miles?" I asked, "surely you mean..." I then looked outside the window and saw everything fly by. "Wow..."

"Crazy, ain't it?" she asked, "so dinosaurs! So, they got these like...T-Rex things and like...they're super big, size of a building - "

"A building? Huh, must be a dangerous invention."

"No!" she said, "they were animals!"

"Animals!?" I shouted.

"Yeah!" she said, "Dinosaurs were these massive things, but an asteroid killed them off - "

"How - "

"Vastly oversimplifying, more just ruined their food supply through endless Winter."

"that's...sad..."

"Yeah, and their dead bodies went underground then years and years they were compressed and pressured, now, they're liquids we burn to make cars go."

I fell silent.

"Crazy, right? Oh shit I coulda just mentioned Coal, god - "

"Oh, is it like that?" I asked, "similar results?"

"Yeah, same process, Coal, Oil, Gas, all dinosaurs, so - "

"Wait, all those years ago - "

"Yep, former birds and lizards and mammals and...mostly plankton and algae so plants, you've burned. All along, it was just dead shit."

I fell silent. Really? All this time? Just...creatures? And plants? Dead? I figured the end result was the same, but the process, coal being a rock...I always assumed -

"Well," she sighed, "I dunno, I think they're not actually dinosaurs, we had that lecture about them not really making up most fossil fuels, but...I dunno makes it cooler, imagining that. But yeah, they still dig up their bones and put them in museums - oh holy fuck you need to go to a museum!"

"Yes!" I said.

"You had museums?" she asked.

"Yes, you have access?"

"They're...they're public."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah...were they not - "

"Matters little," I replied. I looked around the metal cage. "Car." I said. "Car. Car...car..."

"If it helps it's like carriage," she said, "they replaced them so..."

"A little," I nodded.

Skatepark. I still have no clue what this means.

"Still can't believe you're...well, real!" she said.

I laughed, "neither...neither do I."

"Oh that's right," she reached over, still looking at the road, and pulled out a small little box, this transparent material, 'plastic', I think she called it, a red line on its left, the image of a man and woman with black hair, and what appeared to be blood on their faces. An annoying box on the bottom right reading 'Parental Advisory Explicit Content', and, on the top, in lowercase font, 'my cheMiCAL ro(M)aNcE. (the m from chemical was in the romance,) and, in red text, all caps, 'THREE CHEERS FOR SWEET REVENGE'.

"That's a music album."

"Music?" I asked, "album?"

"Music collected, here," she opened it, "favorite one." She sighed, "well, partially cause the first song's got my name."

"Really?"

She nodded, "Helena Ilium Smith," she sighed, "...Smith..."

Mark Ilium. I did not say it aloud.

She pulled out a flat, white circular item, red text on it, I did not have time to read it, but as soon as it entered a slit in the carri - car, it disappeared. Glass revealed light green numbers and text, 'PLAYING TRACK 1', as I heard it. I could not believe my ears, music - an entertainment of the affluent and wealthy, high class entertainment, now just on little circles! I heard the words, the instrumentation, Long ago/Just like the hearse you die to get in again/We are so far from you

"Jannet's got a car with Spotify on it, it's so much better..." as if she read my mind. "It's fine, though. Still got my favs."

"What is this instrument?" I asked.

"Uh...drums, guitar - "

"Guitar?" I asked, "this doesn't - "

"Electric," she replied.

"It...strangely reminds me of Beethoven - "

"Oh yeah! There's a video of a dude playing Mozart and Beethoven and all them on an electric guitar and it just - it's crazy!" she laughed. "You like it?"

A strange little smile crept on my face. "...yes," I said. "I do..."

---

Some (very long) author's notes:

Dinosaurs and Engines were both after 1800s (I decided the vampire was pre-1800s, he came to America in the 1500s-ish - this will get more and more figured out as time goes on, but I have a general idea in my head.) Also evolution. A lot of stuff was discovered in the 1800s I guess the 1800s were just the fun century for inventions.

Museums were in 530 BCE so that's cool (not public ones apparently so that'll be a shock but Mr. Vampire should have heard of it by now)

There's little else to say, having an actual vampire listen to MCR was a moment I tried resisted, I really did, maybe just offhand it, quiet, but no. It needed to happen. The punchline was already written, I just had to elucidate it. Mark had to listen, he had to register it (because H. Smith plays her music too loud) and he needed to enjoy it (and because I mean...yeah, I could have him not like it, but...eh, thought it was funnier long-term if he loved it, than momentarily funny if he disliked it). Helena Smith needed to show Mike I (how the fuck did I spell his name again) Ilium. Also I shit you not I almost went searching for my Three Cheers album (it's my favorite one, but also the album cover is just so perfect for this). Also MCR was directly mentioned in the first part.

I am not sure how long I will continue this series. All I'll say is I want the parents to meet Mark, but I do have to wonder how long until it turns into 'clueless man continues to be clueless', though I imagine at some point, he'll know enough and start connecting the dots. I love writing characters interacting with shit for the first time, so this is definitely something I at least plan to continue for a bit.

Author's notes next time probably won't be nearly as long. Last thing is I don't know what year this will be (nor what metal cage Helena is specifically driving here) so I'm going to do a vague gesturing at somewhere beyond the 2000s and we'll see.

Aaaand kill me went back to rich text to insert a link since I still don't remember how in markdown and everything was undone. Great. Great. I just want lines in Rich Text (plus I am very bad at markdown I hit the wrong keys often).

Went back to edit/re-read, now posting.

Direct Sequel to: https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1rky7gj/wp_an_immortal_vampire_crawls_out_of_its/ Indirect sequel to: https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1pexovm/comment/nshd70n/?share_id=jJbMx9XMK8q0It9Xix4O1&utm_content=2&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1

Well, I can no longer edit Volume 1. So...we hit volume 2. I was going to add titles, but looks like that would've been a mistake on volume 1.

Still going to try to edit 1 soon; looks like behind the scenes, Reddit just links as a copy/paste, so it's possible I can add titles, we'll see.

Last updated: 5/24

Previous: https://www.reddit.com/r/JayPederson/comments/1qiuib9/every_single_prompt_response_volume_1/

 [WP] The latest pizza order came in oddly, it had an extremely specific set of instructions for the toppings, practically a mechanical diagram. But you take pride in your work and do it exactly. But as you lay the last string of grated cheese, the entire thing lights up, an active magical sigil.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qy960n/wp_the_latest_pizza_order_came_in_oddly_it_had_an/

[WP] You're a cult leader. For you it was just business, and you considered your followers idiots. But suddenly, it turns out that the delusional and absurd religion you invented is absolutely true.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1r02hiw/wp_youre_a_cult_leader_for_you_it_was_just/ 

[WP] "Immortality sucks!" "No, you are getting it wrong. Dying sucks. You just think immortality sucks because it means dying over and over." "All right, fair. Can I stop throwing myself at all those monsters that keep killing me now?" "Not until you manage to somehow kill them first." "This sucks."

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1r0iztp/wp_immortality_sucks_no_you_are_getting_it_wrong/

[WP] "God, why did you make a universe with evil in it?" "Well, you know how plants make nasty chemicals to deter predators? Yeah. Evil tastes bad and universes without any tend to get eaten very quickly."

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1r2ezwf/wp_god_why_did_you_make_a_universe_with_evil_in/

"Congratulations, You've been chosen as earth's rep to take part in this years "dungeon games"; where you'll play the part as a dungeon delver and attempt to make it to the 100th floor for fame, glory, money, and resources for your planet. How do you feel about this great honor, player?" https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1r434zf/wp_congratulations_youve_been_chosen_as_earths/

[WP] The heroes discover that the Mad Scientist' daughter is the bringer of the end times, and the Mad Scientist' illegal reseach just him trying to find a way to prevent the end of the world without having to kill his own daughter. https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1r8g073/wp_the_heroes_discover_that_the_mad_scientist/

[WP] Your girlfriend sits you down for a confession. She reveals she is a demon. And not just any demon, she's Lilith, the mother of all demons. At first you don't believe her. Until several men and women older than you come to your door, calling her “Mother” the next day

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1r8io4y/wp_your_girlfriend_sits_you_down_for_a_confession/

[WP] “No, I won’t kill you. That would make me no better than you.” “What the fuck, asshole? You couldn’t have decided that BEFORE you massacred his minions?! They didn’t even fight back!”

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1r9j0hh/wp_no_i_wont_kill_you_that_would_make_me_no/

[WP] Usually Vampires try to cleverly deceive you into allowing them inside. But as the impeccably dressed freak shrieks at you from your window for the 20th time today you realize you weren’t lucky enough for a subtle one.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1r9igb1/wp_usually_vampires_try_to_cleverly_deceive_you/

[WP] A dragon is cursed by a witch, erasing his name and memories as she thunders, "when the thirteenth moon shall rise, you will be forced to kill your true love."

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1r9ijtr/wp_a_dragon_is_cursed_by_a_witch_erasing_his_name/

All experienced outdoorsman know that when the forest goes silent, a predator is near. So how come scientists are recording that the ambient noise made by wildlife has dropped 95% on a global scale ever since the passing comet became visible to the naked eye?

"I know I'm an immortal, and I am way older than I look, but I don't know anything about the rise and fall of civilizations or the pyramids or anything like that. I'm 72. I guess we can talk about, like, Vietnam or something but I don't know anything more interesting than your grandparents.

“ what do you mean a human is the better torturer? We have things in this galaxy that strike pain and fear at the mere presence!!! What more could a human do?!”

A mage's familiar uses the magic of their bond to swap bodies with their mage as the mage is bleeding out. Just before the familiar's 'new' body dies, a party member notices the magic and heals them.

Two things orcs are known for is low intelligence and the tradition of covering themselves in brilliant white war paint. It was only after you met an outlier of both these factors that you realize the connection between intelligence and the paint.

Everyone's greatest weakness comes from their greatest strength. Those with physical might will eventually destroy themselves, Those with wisdom cannot speak without seeming mad, Those with great longevity are too slow to act. Humanity's weakness is that they take too long to die. this one is not good imo but putting it here for posterity.

Having quit your old life as the ex-Number 1 villain, you now work in a small cafe. The only catch is that the cafe often serves famous heroes and villains alike. Now, you have to interact with people you knew very from your old life while trying not to reveal your identity.

You arrive at the house of the girl you asked out. Standing there, bouquet of red roses in hand, you are suddenly hit with the reality that your crush is the daughter of the most powerful and ruthless mafia boss on the East Coast.

Every human knows to stay away from elder dragons, as their magic is powerful enough to warp reality. One just landed in front of you.

“Babe, I have question,” said your wife. “sure go on, honey,” I said, reading my book. “Would you still love me if I was a Orc?” “Is this a trick question?” “No” “are we pretending I don’t know you’re an orc or……?” “Wait you already knew?”

You’ve figured out time travel and your first trip is 15 years into the past to meet your wife. Your job is to convince her you’re her future husband and not just a stalker. This one is a bit (intentionally) creepy

Two narrators tell the same story and argue with each other about wether the main character is the good guy or bad guy. Experimental format

You recently started sprouting fur in various parts of your body for seemingly no reason. After seeing a doctor, they refer you to a "secret" department for your "condition".

All supervillains share one unbreakable rule: never seriously harm children or teenagers, whether they are heroes or sidekicks. Today, a rookie villain broke that rule and will have to face the consequences.

You are a villain, but you are reasonable and willing to hear the hero out. Meanwhile the hero just thinks you are hot and will say whatever necessary to score a date with you.

In a never before seen event, Humanity as a species has collectively leveled up! And as such, the collective whole may spend some skill points to expand the species' skill tree.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1rhek3y/cw_contribute_to_this_story/ Cooperative story - I attributed one line

"WHY IS GOD"S CORPSE IN YOUR BASEMENT?!" Well, it's complicated.

You're a cult leader. For you it was just business, and you considered your followers idiots. But suddenly, it turns out that the delusional and absurd religion you invented is absolutely true.

You're a vampire that has gathered all the other genuine vampires in the city to form a coven, at least you think that's what they're called. But during your first meeting it's become clear, no one here actually knows what the "rules" of vampirism are. Like abilities, weaknesses, lore, etc. Simple one but still

Humans love dragons, but they never existed. As soon as we are able, we make them exist

Why is this hard for you to wrap your tiny hero minds around? Yes, I am a villain, yes I just saved the world, and did so before you useless heroes could decide by committee to come and help. I happen to live in the world, and I can't rule it if it's been destroyed.

Shapeshifters usually use basic forms, as they need to stay focused on the shape. However, the one you’re fighting begins to panic, and their form starts to get… weird.

The ceremony had worked. The pact was made. The demon had granted your deepest desire. As it reached its hand into your chest to pluck out your soul as payment, it looks confused as it pulls out a slip of paper. “I-O-U?!”, it roars.

In a galaxy of gene-modded super-soldiers, pure "Baseline Humans" are extinct. Except for you. Found in a drifting escape pod from 5,000 years ago, your DNA is a 1-in-800 million relic that holds the key to a disease currently killing the genetically modified armies.

Never underestimate a necromancer in a car chase. Oil, petrol and gas are just dead dinosaurs.

The Empire demands a tithe. Every planet must provide 800 million soldiers. Your planet only has a population of 500 million. You are the Governor trying to explain this to a terrifying alien Warmaster who is bad at math.

As the villain monologues, their rambling veers off track, beginning to sound startlingly like a love confession.

Soldiers aren't recruited, they are grown in vats. A bad batch resulted in a battalion of soldiers who feel empathy. They are currently refusing to fire on the enemy civilians. You are the Commissar sent to "fix" the glitch.

Humanity and the Enemy agreed that total war would destroy the universe. So, we fight by proxy. We each pick a primitive planet, uplift a local species, arm them, and bet on the winner. You are the "Advisor" to a species that worships you as a god of war.

Scientists have discovered how to combine human and dinosaur DNA to create creatures with the power of dinosaurs and the intelligence of humans. Unfortunately for them, you and some of the other specimens have escaped, and you are now on the run, trying to leave your captors behind.

An immortal vampire crawls out of its isolation, hundreds of years after his kind was hunted down. He learns that his heritage lives on, as he is a distant relative to a modern family. Finally mustering the courage, he knocks on their door. Only for their teenage emo daughter to answer.

Sequel to the above story - this is technically out of order but that's okay

"Sell me thy soul and all your dreams can become rea-", You cut the demon off, "whoa there buddy, my soul's for sale but unless you can outbid the other deities, best i can guarantee is 5%.",The demon looks behind you and sees a line of various deities, demons, and eldritch horrors to bid

“If every human were equipped with electronic enhancements, you’d all just end up as my playthings. I really don’t understand… Why would anyone abandon the autonomy and control of their perfectly functional flesh and blood?”

A mysterious group of faceless soldiers come out of nowhere just to help you out and leave as quick as they came giving no explanation.

"Why is there a disco ball in my laser hallway?!" the villain complained. "Well it is funky, makes for additional security with how it reflects them, and was rather cheap. But if this is an issue I bet we can add another one or two to help," one minion responded.

A dragon crashes the royal wedding.

You have died from extreme stress and exhaustion, and you stand before your god. Your god says “You have committed a terrible sin, the sin of overworking yourself…” You ask fearfully “Will I be punished!?” And your god answers “No! TF? You’re just gonna be pampered.”

The "Indestructible," the pride of the Terran Navy, was destroyed in its maiden voyage. You are the Lieutenant who has to explain to the High Command how a single scout ship did it.

The healer is getting kicked out of the party, as they "don't deal enough damage".

With nothing left to loose you step out of your tent. The war is lost. The Hordes have won, and you are one of the last remaining Humans alive. But you'll be damned if you go quietly! It took you 2 Years of studying in secret, but now you can finally do it, even if its too late.

The Soul of the Hero is reincarnated each time it dies, and there can only be one. However, you need information, so you have your party resurrect the last one. As the body rises, intense static rings in your ears and your vision blurs.

you’ve been able to talk to animals for as long as you remember, so when a dragon attacks, you find out it’s issues and solves it

The invader looks at the wounded soldier. "So falls Earth's great protector." The man laughs, then coughs up blood. "I'm not Earth's great protector, just a soldier. Common infantry. Step thru that gate. 80,000 of my brothers are waiting for you. I told 'em you were coming. They called friends"

You, an exotherm mammal, are hiking with your reptilian endothermic friend through the mountain trails. As the temperature suddenly drops and you turn to your friend to check in, you realize he's not there.

The Illuminati have been secretly running the world forever... In the same way players run a succession game or Dwarf Fortress, or worse, DRUNK fortress. Vanity projects torn down by the next ruler, exprimental stuff with levers NEVER labelled, etc...

“So, in a world filled with super humans you have no powers at all, yet every hero and villain goes out of their way to be nice, why?” “Well have you ever tried to butter toast while having super strength or do chest compressions while your partner has molten hands?”

You realize you live in a simulation. Because it (as of recently) has had constant bugs/glitches

You’ve just died. Because you’ve once cheated death, they decided that you won’t go to neither heaven nor hell. You’ll stay on earth… as a grim reaper.

"So, I heard you used to be a really talented mage, why did you decide to become a warlock?" "You see, my wife passed away, but I love her too much to let her go, so I tried to sign a pact with her spirit and it somehow worked, wonderfully even."

An Isekai truck misses their target and accidentally smashes into another Isekai truck.

The summoned Hero has finally made there way to your Castle, but instead of confronting you, they have made their way to your library. It has been a week now and you finally decide to find out what they are doing in there.

In a galaxy-spanning war, taking planets one by one is mathematically impossible. A brilliant, terrifying human admiral introduces the concept of "stellar bowling" - igniting chains of supernovas to wipe out whole enemy solar systems at once.

Elves are attracted to Magic Quality/Quantity. You are trying to convince someone that your spell casting equipment/accessories are to improve your combat abilities, not to "pick up chicks".

Fun Trope Friday: Mouthful of Pi & Slice of Life!

The interstellar superpowers designate certain uninhabited worlds as “battleworlds” where their armies can fight without serious collateral damage to settle disputes. One of those worlds turns out to not be as uninhabited as they thought.

The guild has forbidden you from using any of your experimental brews and concoctions without being tested beforehand. But considering that you all are about to die, you'd rather take a punishment later than death right now.

It took humans colonizing the stars to realize Earth slowly drives us to self-destruction and violence. Now, the galactic council is inquiring why our own home planet is considered the human equivalent of a death sentence.

Einstein was right. Almost. Global War 3 was fought with atomics, Global War 4 with sticks. And swords, spells, Elves, dragons... The simultaneous detonation of so many atomics tore open the barriers between our world and others; bridging and forging together disparate planes and planets.

A hitman trying to do his job quietly runs into the head of the homeowners association determined to enforce visitor parking rules.

Humanity has been slowly loosing an interstellar war, and you have been sent far away from Eath to petition an alien race for an alliance.

The mad scientist was executed for his crimes years ago,,, but his Experiments have been happily living in the abandoned lab ever since, glad that their creator is long dead and that they don't have to interact with humanity anymore.

The age of magic arrived on Earth. And it ended barely a decade years later, when magic disappeared just as suddenly as it had appeared, leaving behind a lot of confused scholars and and the shaky frame of a global infrastructure that was shifting to fully adopt magic.

at a difficult time in your life a woman knocks on your door. She informs you she's your fairy godmother. "Why do you look evil?" /"Oh, I'm a wicked fairy. But don't worry, not to you. Who do you need hurt?"

Fun Trope Friday: Feminist Fantasy & Historical Fantasy!

Surprisingly, the goddess of life and death granted your wish for immortality, because you were the first who came to her seeking it not out of fear of death, but out of love for life.

"That's all of it, but if you don't mind my asking, how'd you do it?" The banker asked. The newly debt free farmer shrugged as he replied. "Turns out dragons are pretty generous when you're respectful to em an honest 'bout what you want the gold fer."

EU: A hero summoning ritual for a fantasy world happens. Something went wrong (or right) and it summons Godzilla instead.

Oh you're greedy alright. You're literally a demon of greed. But you know that to gain more, you need to temporarily let go of some, and so you're somehow a better capitalist than most because your only desire is greed, not screwing over your money-makers.

After finding yourself confronted by vicious goblins, you realize that you have no way to fight them of. So, you turn to them and say: "Give me a second, guys..."

Mermaids and sirens are the same creature: They are kind mermaids that like to help people at low tide, but they become evil sirens who like to eat people at high tide. You find this out the hard way.

Your life is absolutely miserable. Hoping for a solution you went into the woods to ask the witch for advice. She told you to go to a therapist. As you enter the therapists office you see the same witch sitting behind the desk.

The first official message from an alien civilization is intercepted by every radio on Earth. It contains only two words in every known human language: "Be quiet."

The world "ended" and 97% of humanity has either perished or fled to the stars in new great diaspora. In the decades since, earth has recovered but much knowledge has been lost. You are tinkering with an old radio and pick up a transmission that should not be possible.

You enter your apartment and find not only a group of robed chanting figureds but a lovecraftian being in the center of their worship. "ugh, cmon dude we agreed no rituals in the main room during the weekend; anyways here's your mail", you sigh as you pick through it

"Is this your dragon?" "Yes. Don't be scared, he's actually quite friendly." "If he's friendly, why'd he kidnap the princess?" "Well, you can't exactly play 'fetch' with a dragon using a regular stick, can you?"

Movies are now made with actors that are grown in cloning vats with imprinted personalities of their characters. Unemployed actors are protesting movie studios.

This is not a tale of honor. This message is a warning about danger. The danger is in a particular scene, and it increases towards a finale. The danger is to you, the reader, and it can kill. The form of the danger is a sentence. This story is best shunned and left unfinished.

"Where is your god now, hero?" The villain taunted. The hero weakly points to the monk who was looking a lot more angry.

Not yet aware of the day's significance outside the alien visitors making first contact, they landed at the nearest population center, knocking on the first door they found. "Take us to your leader." "That looks real! Sick costumes, dudes! You win Halloween, have as much as you want. My treat."

"Most people hear "Goddess of life" and assume she's a pleasant, innately good being. But deities are the true embodiment of their concept. In reality, she's a feral psychopath chimera that will either immediately attempt to reproduce with you, or kill and eat you. Sometimes both. Stay away."

you’re a conspiracist while your gf is a social media influencer, she thinks you’re nuts but finds it cute. One night you went to the bathroom to find out your gf is a lizard person

You are the superhero that has saved the most lives in the world. You don't have any of those fancy powers though, you just have extreme regeneration and you donate all of your organs twice a week.

“Every year, there’s always one kid at the magic school who says that dark magic is just misunderstood, and then they go on to become wanted in three different kingdoms for necromancy.”

Every year on your birthday, you receive a letter from yourself exactly ten years in the future. This year's letter just says, "don't open the door tonight."

Your spouse used to be a dragon, but was cursed to live as a human. You met during their search for a cure and eventually fell in love. They slowly came to terms with their fate and even began to enjoy your life together, when your first child was born. The child turned out rather... draconic.

To become an elder god, one must achieve three goals: Possess power beyond comprehension, unlike any other of their kind; Have a legion of followers who blindly obey them; and wield immense influence over the lives and minds of the population. Today, a human has achieved these goals.

“Attention, pleas stop screaming into the void, that’s what the abyss is for. The void not insured for screaming.”

The museum heist goes off without a hitch. In fact, it's far easier than expected. Open locks, malfunctioning alarms, sleeping guards... it's almost as if the artifacts WANT to be stolen.

The priest tried to warn the psychiatrist that their unstable patient was possessed to no avail. When the priest returns to check on the situation a few days later, they find the psychiatrist giving both the demon and its host some much needed therapy. They seem to be doing well.

“In light of recent controversy, the Monster Hunter’s Guild has decided to re-evaluate what does and does not count as a monster.”

"I think this human is broken. All the ones I've taken are always talking about how strong and powerful they and their parents are and how they'll escape from me, but this one is curled up in a corner and won't move except to eat."

Several days after your son's funeral, you are visited by a glowing woman, turns out, your son didn't actually died, he was send to another world to save it from darkness, turns out sending a teenager to save an entire civilización is NOT a good idea.

Due to price increase on ammo do not expect a warning shot

[]()

[]()

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1r9ijtr/wp_a_dragon_is_cursed_by_a_witch_erasing_his_name/

This story was on a prompt with negative votes (I upvoted the prompt and it's still 0) so I decided to highlight it.

---

The dragon walked through the grounds, unsure of...anything. His entire brain felt like a fog - buzzing, hissing slowly swirling around the orb of his mind, trying to figure out anything at all. He tried thinking, but was blocked, everything was incoherent, slow, wondering...

...he didn't know how long it had been.

He kept walking, the ground's soft feeling, and the calming wind all he knew. Yet, there was...an odd, strange feeling, slowly overcoming his body.

The sun was setting, and, slowly, while he was eating a cow, felt his brain filled with a new, unknown hatred of another. Someone he did not know, name, appearance, or even locale, yet, he began flying, hissing in hatred.

Within the hour, he arrived at a cave, landing in the rocks, seeing the source of his anger. a green dragon with yellow underscales. "Babe? Babe!" the green dragon ran out, as the angered, pink dragon began attacking.

"What are you doing!? Emer!? Emer stop!"

Who is Emer? he thought.

"You've been gone over a year! What is happening!?"

Within minutes, two other dragons came in and pulled Emer away, "Emer!"

Emer looked at them, the pink dragon out of his sight, and recognized nothing.

"Emer?"

Silence.

"Emer?"

"Detect magic," one of the blue dragons said, as an arcane signature resonated throughout his body and the cave.

"Damn," said one, "something's wrong,"

"What happened? What's wrong with Emer?"

Hearing the words from the one he despised, Emer began growling, trying to lash out, as he was held down.

"Stay quiet, we'll figure it out in the morning."

Emer woke up the following morning, looking around slowly, in a pool of arcane salt. "Where am I?"

"How are you feeling?" asked Archisd, the town Arcanist, "Emer?"

"I...don't remember where I was..."

"What do you remember last night?"

"Uh...I remember...I...attacked a Human, and...something about a...a curse..."

Paothyst appeared in the door.

"Pao!" Emer said, jumping from the arcane salts, pulling him into a hug, "I..." pause, "what happened? You have scars on you?"

Paothyst's face turned red. "You don't remember?"

"No, I was attacking a witch...yesterday, I guess - "

"You've been gone over a year! And you attacked me last night!"

"What?" Emer asked...Pathyst? "I don't..." and, slowly, felt a low, grumbling hatred burning in his stomach.

Archisd cast a detect magic, and saw it resonate from Emer, "Emer? Get back in the salts."

"What?"

"The curse," he said, "do you remember?"

Emer paused, pushing this...dragon from him, then to Ar...um..."what? Who are you?"

Archisd chucked salt at him, causing Emer's memory to flash, and he jumped in the salts. "I...I guess she...cursed me?"

"You attacked me last night!" Paothyst said.

"Yeah, I..." pause. "...thirteen moons...you'll kill your true love...she...she cursed me to...to kill..."

Paothyst looked at the ground.

Archisd added "the curse can be removed, it'll take a bit, but..."

"Thanks," Emer said, "I..." he looked at Paothyst, seeing the new, fresh scars, dried blood, and... "gods...Pao, I'm sorry! I - "

"It's okay, you...you weren't yourself."

---

At some point I had a story that had more upvotes than the prompt itself, so I decided to run an experiment: take a negative upvote post, and see if people looked at responses without upvoting the post.

And, turns out: Yeah, they do. Not much here, this isn't top 15 for myself in particular, just thought the experiment was interesting.

EDIT: And holy shit I posted the wrong story here what the fuck.

Below is basically just a list of ten responses recently I really liked, felt were good etc. Figured this was a better starting point that just a giant contextless list.

---

[WP] "Look, I appreciate being given the chance to win my life back. But this is the 12th time I've died this week, what's actually going on here?". Death turns to you and shrugs "you're the only one who picks that game, and it's my favourite".

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qiq70x/wp_look_i_appreciate_being_given_the_chance_to/

[WP] The Angel of Death finds out a soul he reaped went to Hell over a sin he considers not to be a sin. He confronts God and threatens to quit.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1pglpxp/wp_the_angel_of_death_finds_out_a_soul_he_reaped/

[WP] You like to feed crows peanuts on your way to work. One day a crow says in a perfectly normal voice "Hey, thanks!". Another crow looks horrified at her, and hisses "Shutupshutupshutup!". The first crow looks at you, looking embarrassed, and says (not caws, but says) "Cawww?"

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qisrlu/wp_you_like_to_feed_crows_peanuts_on_your_way_to/

“In the modern world ,dragons are ceos for numerous corporations ,insurance companies often hire devils to deny claims and the average adventurer is underpaid by their guild”

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qn8jjs/wp_in_the_modern_world_dragons_are_ceos_for/

[WP] "what dark magic is this." Said the old man to the teenage mage holding a black fireball "oh this it's just the basic fireball spell with a color changing illusion spell over it." Said the teenager "but why just why." Said the old man "mostly aesthetic reasons I can make it really any color."

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qehqlp/wp_what_dark_magic_is_this_said_the_old_man_to/

[WP] You’ve finally been inducted into the Hero Society, when the brooding, unpowered man that everyone respects and fears approaches you. He comes close and whispers, “Please, you gotta help me. These people think all I need is prep time but I’m so out of my league, here.”

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1poraib/wp_youve_finally_been_inducted_into_the_hero/

[WP] Being captain of a space ship is a lifetime appointment, since the captain has to be cybernetically integrated into the ship systems. While you have trained all your life for this task, it still comes as a shock to you when the current captain died and you were selected as their successor.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1pfyglj/wp_being_captain_of_a_space_ship_is_a_lifetime/

[WP] "Kill the voice inside your head before it kills the dream inside you"

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qja0g7/wp_kill_the_voice_inside_your_head_before_it/

[WP] “So every day you have to leave a live goat in this room?” “Yup.” “And the next day it’s always gone?” “Yup.” “Why?”

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1pg0esj/wp_so_every_day_you_have_to_leave_a_live_goat_in/

---

https://www.reddit.com/r/JayPederson/comments/1qiuib9/every_single_prompt_response_volume_1/ This is the full list, in chronological order, without context.

Last Updated: February 24th.

Volume 2

Volume 0

These are not in any order, nor have any real labels. My only goal was get this task done now, and here it is. Commentary is minimum, this is just if you want a basic chronological list, which I also just need in general. This is also notably the only volume currently, just naming it that way since I know Post titles can't be edited.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qqms2k/pi_you_were_send_to_kidnap_a_loved_one_of_your/ This was the first prompt I used, but I didn't upload it until now. Putting it up here since it's technically first.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h3jsau/pi_youyou_gave_up_villainy_because_youbecame_a/ This is my first and in hindsight I was in idiot and put it on a prompt inspired one lol (I still sometimes click on PIs and realize I can't read so this is unfortunately still in character)

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h3jx5w/wp_you_venture_into_the_dragons_den_weekly_coming/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h4prw1/wp_ive_finally_done_it_a_weapon_to_pierce_the/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h4o36h/wp_youre_sure_theres_nothing_special_about_the/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h4x5kg/deleted_by_user/ I think this was a criminal who was spared by the king.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h4ycf4/wpat_your_18th_birthday_you_receive_a_old_key/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h5q0nl/wp_a_kobold_adventurer_wears_a_large_warriors/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h6pbdv/wp_death_is_not_a_judge_who_evaluates_your_life/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h72ctu/wp_butthey_are_members_of_your_own_race_why_would/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h6uez3/wp_how_am_i_still_sane_oh_please_we_put/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h7r0lc/wp_in_the_future_humans_are_eternally_youthful/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h7ti9j/wp_you_placed_a_curse_on_your_mortal_enemy/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h7o0m4/wp_kitten_in_need_of_good_home_her_name_is_lily/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h7xro3/wp_you_are_a_supervillain_and_just_as_you_were/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h874uz/wp_you_were_a_wanderer_mage_amongst_the_centuries/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h88f5r/wp_while_in_college_you_had_a_lab_accident_that/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h84or6/wp_for_gods_sake_man_making_a_bargain_with/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h8bde1/wp_working_at_the_adventurer_guild_is_hard_not/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h8kqdo/wp_an_ancient_easily_avoids_getting_killed_after/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h91kch/wp_yyou_saved_me_why_i_mean_thanks_but_you/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h8x9mm/wp_the_macguffin_is_heavy_enough_to_require_team/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h9d1zz/wp_you_the_villain_faked_your_death_and_started/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h9u1jb/wp_stop_putting_death_curses_on_immortals_the/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1ha5nsx/wp_roughly_every_100_years_a_necromancer_tries_to/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hal98j/wp_you_are_immortal_but_only_if_there_are_still/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hapogg/wp_fearing_your_tremendous_potential_all_mages_in/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1haq2fe/wp_in_the_local_temple_there_is_a_bronze_dagger/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1haicto/wp_at_1_am_your_phone_jolts_you_awake_with_an/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hb0lcj/wp_your_job_is_simple_you_find_regular_work_for/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hb0lxy/wp_isekai_except_all_the_power_fantasy_stuff_is/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hbfijd/wp_they_didnt_know_it_at_the_time_how_could_they/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hbh9o7/wp_and_so_i_was_cursed_with_immortality_cursed_to/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hbkdn0/wp_youre_a_knight_but_it_seems_youve_had_a_rather/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hcbmrl/wp_you_started_a_scam_religion_for_a_quick_buck/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hcf0u2/wp_you_gave_a_gorilla_your_spellbook_as_a_joke/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hea4vz/wp_you_are_not_that_powerful_of_a_villain_but_you/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hezlbg/wp_in_a_family_of_superheroes_the_orphan_is/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hf2eay/wp_denver_international_airport_dia_has_several/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hgb7jz/wp_the_god_looked_at_their_followers_in_pure_rage/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hgnm3v/wp_you_know_that_weird_guy_on_the_street_corner/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hgs83m/wpdespite_being_cursed_into_a_monster_and_being/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hgmu1j/wp_can_someone_anyone_tell_me_why_a_hundred_meter/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hgazu8/wp_a_werewolf_hunter_gets_transported_to_a_world/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hgrjp0/wpyou_walk_into_the_evil_queens_throne_room_the/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hh6fx1/wp_i_am_bulletproof_up_to_3006_any_caliber_above/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hh6b66/wp_thisthing_that_is_appearing_is_evidently_a/ I put another one under the automod comment since I didn't like it sidenote

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hjgfh5/deleted_by_user/ royal main character saved a fairy that ended up chasing away all potential marriage options

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hlvjdt/wp_your_a_content_creator_who_gives_people_at/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hnosqd/wp_i_dont_believe_in_ghosts_or_magic_the_talking/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hr15m2/deleted_by_user/ "A famous luxury resort where a mysterious drug is legal for guest use only on the premises and nowhere else in the world. You are a new employee of this 12 floor hotel and a guest has asked to go to "floor 13" instead of taking the drug, a floor you didn't know existed." went to fucking Archive.org for this title this was one of my favorites dammit either way neat new trick

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hrhyj6/wp_every_part_of_the_space_ship_has_been_replaced/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hs2z3z/wp_you_got_drunk_while_on_a_night_shift_at_work/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1ht8hc0/wp_hey_genuine_question_here_do_you_have_a/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1htlbyl/wp_people_die_when_they_are_killed_the_lich/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1htnp2w/wp_what_you_didnt_hear_me_the_first_time_look_i/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hvowcx/wp_an_immortal_is_sentenced_to_life_in_prison_and/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hw7yo0/wp_you_wake_up_one_morning_to_find_a_detailed/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hyibk9/wp_please_mr_dragon_let_me_kill_you_why_so_you/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hyo4yn/wp_i_know_you_work_as_an_undercover_agent_but_why/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1iajn70/wp_where_do_storks_get_the_babies_they_give_to/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1j2w06j/wp_looking_for_a_wild_night_out_a_chance_to_let/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1j2wg9m/sp_the_sun_blinked/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1j2zww7/wp_as_i_put_the_ring_on_her_finger_and_she_said_i/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1k33ajl/wp_learning_magic_is_an_arduous_journey_requiring/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1kwxq25/wp_you_sure_this_is_safe_you_ask_understandably/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1kwufwt/wp_youre_the_greatest_magician_of_this_bloody/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1kx807v/wp_santa_has_been_sued_in_a_civil_case_for/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1kxn8mk/wp_due_to_your_bloodline_and_a_rare_mutation_you/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1kxvmn7/wp_nornally_as_a_genie_im_supposed_to_interpret/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1kxw1md/wp_an_immortal_supervillain_is_doomed_to_live/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1kyirr6/wp_as_a_werewolf_you_are_an_expert_at_living/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1kz9a0n/wp_death_takes_a_different_form_for_each_race_to/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1kzpxqf/wp_an_eldritch_horror_beyond_comprehension/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1l23az0/wp_a_lowly_fisherman_falls_in_love_with_a_siren/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1l24wc6/wp_it_was_supposes_to_be_a_funny_prank_youd_swap/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1l22sys/wp_what_they_dont_tell_you_about_dating_a/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1l2e6ju/wp_as_part_of_a_mystical_trial_to_strengthen/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1l449je/wpyour_best_mate_has_the_ability_to_make_everyone/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1l7sedz/wp_you_were_joking_when_you_pointed_the_tv_remote/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1l9yn74/sp_the_relic_glowed_softly_as_the_lowly_servant/ my dumbest favorite.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1la0q0l/wp_your_majesty_the_princess_has_been_taken_by_a/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1ldutqj/sp_absolutely_nobody_thought_that_was_a_good_idea/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1lea72r/wp_the_teleporter_was_supposed_to_be_instant_to/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1lfwv3i/wp_immortals_with_limitless_time_at_their/ this one sucks but leaving it here for posterity.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1lfw57h/wp_witchknights_are_unmatched_in_magical_and/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1lgf1hz/wp_as_a_vampire_you_applied_for_a_job_at_a_blood/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1lgfqsw/wp_as_a_being_of_pure_energy_youve_lived_a/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1lg8xon/ot_fun_trope_friday_blue_orange_morality_scifi/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1lgv8mh/wp_your_spouse_is_a_wizardwitch_and_one_day_they/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1lh3833/wp_a_halfdragon_doles_out_vigilante_justice_in/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1lh1lds/wp_as_someone_who_can_see_ghosts_you_miss_when/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1liu3dk/sp_a_ship_captain_who_had_three_ships_sink_while/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1lijf26/wp_you_went_on_a_ski_trip_and_saw_a_sign_that/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1lroxpk/ot_fun_trope_friday_penpals_epistolary/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1lv0uo7/wp_an_event_long_ago_made_it_so_everyone_now/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1lvrygu/wp_the_little_wyvern_flew_into_the_smiths_armory/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1lvqo5s/sp_a_deity_that_does_not_respect_their/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1lz0f20/wp_you_are_a_superhero_and_you_are_dating_another/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1lzdwkx/wpthe_lord_commander_decrees_that_royal_scouts_be/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1m09e4a/wp_we_all_signed_up_to_be_alive_but_we_cant/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1lxb5oc/ot_fun_trope_friday_absence_makes_hearts_go/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1m0cp3p/wp_your_best_friend_is_a_superhero_and_its/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1m3dpcs/ot_fun_trope_friday_language_barrier_new_adult/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1odgsbc/wp_despite_your_lack_of_powers_you_try_your_best/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1p97pzp/ot_fun_trope_friday_never_win_the_lottery/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1pd87tl/wp_a_small_unassuming_bar_is_run_by_a_former/ There's actually two for this one

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1pdedg1/wp_you_are_a_superhero_and_your_secret_identity/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1pd3w1c/wp_the_dragon_looks_at_you_with_keen_glowing_eyes/

(2nd story for the bar one above was written here)

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1pdioqg/wp_you_can_have_my_name_fae_take_it_and/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1pex9r7/wp_is_that_you_i_thought_you_died_said_the_man_to/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1pexovm/wp_normally_getting_trapped_inside_a_creepy/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1pg0esj/wp_so_every_day_you_have_to_leave_a_live_goat_in/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1pfyglj/wp_being_captain_of_a_space_ship_is_a_lifetime/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1pf1kaz/ot_fun_trope_friday_white_lies_poetry/ ONLY POEM LET'S GO WE'RE SO BACK

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1pglpxp/wp_the_angel_of_death_finds_out_a_soul_he_reaped/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1pgsv04/wp_all_this_security_for_one_typewriter_asked_the/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1ph86qu/sp_death_is_not_one_single_entity_but_rather_a/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1pjf4iq/wp_no_none_of_us_are_werewolves_i_am_a_whywolf_he/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1pjhhaa/wp_youre_a_tour_guide_at_your_local_aquarium_the/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1pjuaj2/wp_every_time_a_bell_rings_an_angel_gets_his/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1pjug33/wp_dont_you_get_it_if_the_gods_dont_care_if_we/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1poblig/wp_honestly_i_dont_understand_why_you_keep/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1poraib/wp_youve_finally_been_inducted_into_the_hero/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1poraib/wp_youve_finally_been_inducted_into_the_hero/ Original story on automod - two responses

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1ppcvnu/wp_you_are_a_decorated_soldier_that_has_risen_to/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1pqq9so/wp_if_we_revive_them_all_after_they_died_its_like/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1pqofjf/wp_you_expected_a_few_things_to_greet_you_to_when/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1q62g1d/wp_with_how_many_people_were_prepared_for_the/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1q99zlx/wp_their_planet_is_older_their_oceans_deeper/ actually inspired a novella I've started so that's cool.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qceb70/wp_as_a_scientist_in_a_fantasy_world_you_discover/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qcfsji/wp_humans_were_advanced_enough_with_their_guns/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qcy8gt/wp_i_dont_understand_why_wont_he_kill_you_because/ Favorite dumb one #2

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qehqlp/wp_what_dark_magic_is_this_said_the_old_man_to/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qfvp1l/wp_you_are_a_passionate_movie_director_trapped_in/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qhdckb/wp_the_chosen_one_has_finally_been_found_after/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qiq70x/wp_look_i_appreciate_being_given_the_chance_to/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qisrlu/wp_you_like_to_feed_crows_peanuts_on_your_way_to/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qja0g7/wp_kill_the_voice_inside_your_head_before_it/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qjb1am/wp_the_corner_deli_being_sold_out_of_your/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qjoim1/wp_you_are_a_serial_killer_no_one_has_noticed/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qmbchx/wp_you_are_being_hunted_by_a_faceless_entity_it/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qmtdnh/wp_the_royals_have_been_massacred_now_us_advisors/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qmrfoi/sp_the_villian_tries_working_an_ad_read_into/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qmwfwh/wp_wait_hold_on_stop_did_i_see_that_right_did_you/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qn9ed4/wpwhen_the_deity_offered_you_to_be_reborn_into/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qn8jjs/wp_in_the_modern_world_dragons_are_ceos_for/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qn7hsd/wpyou_shall_be_sacrificed_to_our_great_god_the/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qn9wqc/wpwhen_your_roommate_moved_in_you_swear_that_they/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qn68by/wp_you_know_when_i_started_sending_pipe_bombs_to/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qnr58v/wp_with_stuffed_animals_figurines_and_other/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qnqnnf/wp_you_are_absolutely_certain_that_there_must_be/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qnvrjz/wp_youre_reincarnated_in_a_fantasy_rpg_world_full/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qnylgs/wp_hurray_you_created_a_time_machine_bad_news_now/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qoybm5/wp_death_doesnt_kill_people_because_theyre_evil/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qp0ee1/wp_an_eccentric_dungeon_lord_wishes_to_build_a/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qp2oe1/wp_standing_over_their_body_i_stood_silently_as/ (This one kinda sucks)

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qp67fk/wp_they_say_were_the_worst_judges_at_knowing_what/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qp2lnx/sp_whats_going_on_with_your_basement_ah_yknow/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qsciha/wp_humans_finally_make_the_technology_to_explore/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qsc7ds/wp_when_you_learned_that_your_boyfriend_is_a/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qsjb87/sp_really_i_cant_fathom_how_im_the_villain_and/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qt9ol1/wp_the_chosen_one_saved_the_world_years_ago/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qurolv/wp_a_cosmic_entity_travels_through_space/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qvzyly/wp_as_a_mall_santa_some_kids_ask_for_their_dead/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qx0v6f/wp_you_realize_that_your_roommate_is_an_informant/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qx6wfl/cw_write_a_basic_conversation_between_two/ this one is a half-intentional disaster as a warning.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qx9mqq/wpill_just_get_to_the_point_the_dragon_that/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qxeiss/wpthe_personification_of_the_seven_deadly_sins/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qxhtow/wp_you_are_about_to_bring_peace_to_entire_human/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1qxhgfj/wp_the_old_fairy_would_bless_babies_with_gifts/

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hL9_oN5oJOZiWmH7OJ5ZAP0VU7C1E_DuL62qxrmUAfI/edit?usp=sharing

I have little to say here. I started it before I even read book 14/15 so it has clear issues that I refuse to fix.

Posting it here because simply 'may as well' or something. Probably won't do much but maybe someone some day will see it and be interested or something.

EDIT: That and I haven't been writing much, so might as well do something.

I started writing out the story. Here's chapter 1

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iHhQQxG1_Dlqvf_yu7BzUeOdAh40EY_wUAtObP69GXQ/edit?tab=t.0 if you prefer to read in docs

Prologue

Drang Magnus Byrd

How many centuries have you walked upon this world?

To many, this question is not innocuous, nor reasonable, but absurd. The obvious answer, of course, is 0, followed by questioning of sanities, or perhaps, an inability distinguish races. To Elves, perhaps 2, maybe 3, if lucky. No creature is ever truly immortal, with many scholars predicting after too long, the subject will resort to all it has left; insanity.

My name is Drang Byrd. I have lived longer than most could fathom, wandering this world. Seeing the maps change. I once had a little pack of scrolls, maps, all now outdated. Diaries surely lost to time.

My name has always felt a tad…on-the-nose. I am an Aeglish, a race of Sapient Avians, with scaled arms and legs, feathered bodies, and the sharpest eyes – to spot the tiniest movement, the smallest reaction.

I have loved, lost, thrown out…name something, I have almost surely done it, for either tedium, curiosity, necessity, or, god forbid, furiously thrown out.

And…so long after my birth, I have returned to civilized society, at Belmoore College. Centuries of knowledge have been stored in my brain, and arcanabrain – a magical extension to stave of possible insanity.

 

I sat in front of the dean, his name…something, I have juggled numerous names over the years, and…

…perhaps remembering my boss…the first job I’ve held in centuries, to some, lifetimes, would be a good idea to well…not get fired.

The Dean glanced up with a smile, “we rarely get Aeglish in this part of the nation!” he said, jubilantly, “tell me, where are you from?”

“Medion.”

“Medion?” he turned his head, “I thought that place was burned down ages ago…?”

I took a breath, “…indeed…”

“So…how…?”

“Two soldiers,” I replied, “my mother and father, birthed and raised me, but alas…”

“Oh…I’m…I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Aye,” I replied. None of what I said is true, but it’s not traceable, I believe.

There was a silence.

Right, people think it’s odd when – “...of course, it’s been so long, it’s…just a memory, now.”

He nodded, “right, right. Not fair of me to…so, can you cast some of the spells you listed?” pause. “Do you have your own staff?”

Staff? I’m a wizard, not a band. Either way…guess I could acquire one. “I will need to find one for my class, but, I’m sure that will not be an issue.”

“Hm. Cast on the paper…here,” he pointed to the bottom corner, “you said you could make controlled fire?”

“Of course,” I nodded, then held out my hand – while overall unnecessary, it does help guide the spell – something the dean may find pertinent if it, say, burns his desk – as the corner turned from white, to gray, smoking, as the little corner erupted into orange and blue. Seeing the Dean’s eyes similarly erupt with astonishment, I then smacked the fire with my hand to cease the flames. “Control is an important aspect to any–”

“How did you do that?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Where…” he stood, looking around to my arms. “Your staff?” he asked.

“I do not have a staff…?” I asked. “Like I said, I’ll hire the proper personnel after–”

“You can cast spells without a staff!?”

I looked around, feeling…a bit dumb. “May I ask a question, that…while I would feel stupid asking minutes ago, feel is necessary now.”

“Of your skill level? Ask the dumbest things you want!”

I smiled, “thank you, but…what um…what is this…‘staff’ you’re referring to?”

“Well…” he sat down, “it’s kind of…strange. It’s such a…basic thing, like…food, but…you appear to not need it, either.”

I still need sustenance, though I’ve moved on to liquidation of nutrients (admittedly common for avians – we lack teeth – something I wish I had). 

“I mean, no incantation, either.”

Incantations are something only really done on massive, massive, spells, if I recall. I am sure he’s going to tell me this is now commonplace as well?

I took a breath “so, um…may I see a staff?”

He nodded, pulling out a long, wooden stick. “This is my amateur staff, I have a far better one,” he sighed “...but it’s not allowed on school grounds.”

I nodded, “of course. You can’t cast Great Overture on grounds either.”

“Great Overture?”

“Um…”

“That some kind of music spell?”

“It’s…not important,” I replied.

“Okay. Well um…you’re hired.”

I nodded, standing, as we shook hands.

“You will be shipped a staff,” he said, “as it is current procedure amongst the wizard world, even if you’ve…found a way to bypass this.”

My eyebrow rose, but I remained silent, nodding. When the semester began, I would need to…learn to downgrade my skills.

We’ll see. Incantations assist in spells, we’ll see how the staff goes.

It arrived the following week. Walnut, solid, fine. I’ll grow acquainted with it soon, I’m sure.

Chapter 1

???

Today was the first day. The Class I taught was intermediate spells.

I walked into my classroom, and it was…pretty run-of-the-mill, as far as I can tell – lot of generic magic stuff, but nothing personal. Like a small auditorium, a Magic Board (and backup blackboard, in case the Arcane Winds were feeling annoying that day),a speaking podium, and some maps, including Arcane Wind paths which…oh cool, looks like they’ve changed.

I should probably explain Arcane Winds.

But I honestly don’t know anything, they just…carry magic around, that’s all I really know. It also contains a map of the world, so I gave it a look.

Maghrit Ironhammer was the Monarch before my self-imposed exile, a man who wanted to expand the Human Empire’s borders. When I left, he was invading the North, into the Kobalds who– 

–are–

–are not on the map?

It just reads “Maghrit Dynasty,” next to “Salaudness Dynasty” 

Orcs are in the same area, Lufus are…

…start in the mountains now? I’ve been with some Lufus tribes for a night or two, but those were in areas labelled…Human…

Orcs, Elves, Aeglish are all the same, though the perimeters are mostly dotted instead of solid. Vulpe are divided in half. Odd. 

Soon enough, the bell rang. I cast ‘write’ on the magic spell board ‘Proffessor Drang M. Byrd’...

…

…I recast so now it read ‘Professor’. There, that looks right. Professor Drang M. Byrd.

…M?

It’s my first day - I’ll put the middle - Magnus, recasting, ‘Profesor–

God dammit screwed up the spell, been a while since I last cast write.

‘Professor, Drang Magnus Byrd’.

Did I really put that comma in there?

…it matters not. Especially as a student entered the room. I turned, putting on my biggest smile (a surprisingly hard task with a beak), “good day…Raquel?”

The orc was shocked, “y–yes! How did you know!?”

I laughed, “Orcs usually don’t take mage classes.”

She groaned.

“What?”

“That’s an old stereotype.”

“Really?”

“Belmoore is far West, but Orc spellswords are very common now, more so than Humans in some militaries.”

How long have I been gone? “Huh, well, either way, you are the only female Orc in this class.” Back in my day, Orcs weren’t really known for magic. 

She silently took her seat. Well…

I walked back to my podium, staff under the podium. I have to cast spells at least holding it, the Dean has informed me. As well, a book, ‘INTERMEDIATE SPELLS - STATE STANDARD EDUCATION’. I was informed I’d get a general syllabus

I opened the book, to see the table of contents.

1. Fire
2. Lightning
3. Water
4. Healing
5. …Okay it goes like this for a bit, a bunch of simplistic spell categories.31 is…banned? Odd.I turned to the first page to–The door opened once more, and I heard a surprised voice. “Yes?”“I don’t recognize you,” she replied, “who…who are you?” she’s an Aeglan with all-white feathers.“Professor Drang Byrd.”“I know all the professors here, especially the Aeglish ones.”“Yes, this is my first semester.”

“Explains a bit,” said Raquel.

I had four Aeglish students from my recollection. Three Orcs, one Vulpe, seven Humans, and six elves. Belmoore is deep inside Northern Human lands, but is considered one of the best colleges from my understanding.

The Aeglish took a seat as I studied the first chapter.

It’s just…a list of spells, like fire, and…fire bolt…and fireball…and…fire wall…

…riviting… 

Within the next five or so minutes, the class filled with students. I checked the numbers to class: 4, 3, 1, 7, 6, so…21 total, not including overflows. And…twenty…five? Oh, that’s a facility guy, 24. Other than that, everyone is accounted for. I took attendance, cast a memory spell, so I should know everyone’s names.

And, it was time. I clapped my hands together, “Hello, Class,” tried to put on my biggest smile, “My name is Drang Magnus Byrd–”

“Byrd?” asked Tyler, an Orc-Elf hybrid with blonde hair and slender elf features, but strong orc muscles. 

“Yes?”

“No…Bi, erd?”

“Yes?”

“That’s a…common Aeglish name, but I’ve never heard anyone say it like that.” 

“Really?”

“Bird,” said the white-feathered Aeglish from earlier (who I learned is named Yonna). “Like…the animal, not…bi-erd. I’ve never heard anyone say it like that.”

“That’s how I, and my family…” took a breath, “perhaps it’s a dialect thing, then.”

“I’ve been around a lot of Aegla, but I guess you’re from the far West, then?”

No, South, actually.

“You know what? It is not important. By…rd…” it feels so odd, now. “How many of you are from out of the empire? Show of hands! When I was in my class, only a third of us were from the Empire. I was from outside, though I had citizenship.”

They all exchanged glances, but no one raised their hands.

…how long have I been gone?

I took a deep breath, “this is intermediate spells, where we will learn various intermediate spells, such as fireball, bolt, and force.”

“Force?” asked an Orc, Mateo, black hair, looked like a standard barbarian with a greataxe. 

“Yes, force.” I laughed, “I’ll admit, it’s a bit of an…easier spell, but useful, as–”

“Byrd?” asked Yonna, “I’ve studied a lot of spells, and, I don’t think there’s a single spell like that.”

“Don’t worry, I will show you later.” It’s one of my favorites. Reading and need a glass of water, I can use Force to bring something over.

I heard a couple whispers, but it returned to silence as I continued speaking “as well, learn other intermediate skills, such as how to combine spells, or–”

“What!?” I heard one say, combined with general anger.

“Do you not know–do you–” deep breath, “QUIET!!!”

And they became silent.

“One, one at a time.”

Raquel rose her hand.

“Yes?”

“You can’t combine spells with a staff.”

“Of course you can.”

“What do you think the incantation is for?”

There was a brief pause. I’ll be honest, I hadn’t read on incantations like I had previously planned. “I mean, I am sure it’s possible.”

They all started talking at once, again.

I took a breath, then said “listen–listen! That is why I will teach all of you!”

“How!?” Raquel asked.

They all went silent.

“Why do you think you are all here?”

They once more talked.

Tyler, louder than the rest, “Byrd, sir, you, of all people, should know you can’t just cast a spell.”

I asked “Huh?”

“You gotta do the incantation, then the staff which limit–”

I rolled my eyes.

The class, once more, erupted – louder than before. 

I hit my limit. I walked behind my podium, grabbed my staff, said some mumbled, garbled mess of words, then cast a light flash, vortex, repulse, fire, and water.

The resulting concoction started with a flash, loud, a black singularity pulling in everyone – myself included – with a white twisting vortex contorting around, withing, and between the singularity, as the fire fled the repulsion, only to fall back into the vortex, all coated in water, until it ceased.

…unfortunately, I was being contorted by the contrast of my own castings, and had miscalculated the vortex (a spell that grows exponentially more powerful to its center, whereas repulsion is linear) and began floating, upwards, the vortex pulling me in, the repulsion ceasing, the fire scorching my skin searing between the feathers and skin, only healed by the water, putting out the fire, the steam wrapping around, flickering up–

It ended, I fell, full force, to the floor, air forced from my lungs, as I slowly stood…

The students stared at me, wide-eyed, silent. Silent, after the chaos at my hands. Deep breath, Byrd, I stood, held out my hands, then pressed them to my body, casting a healing spell (a tiring spell), curing every inch, every ache…

Deep breath.

“See?” I asked. “That was a combination of…” let’s see, vortex, repulse, water, fire…am I missing–

“Byrd?” asked Lia, a Vulpe. Orange fur, fox-like–huh, she has whiskers. “Did you…did you cast a spell with a staff?”

“Uh…” well I did both, so “no.”

“You…the incantation was a mess, and…”

Raquel chimed in “your staff didn’t react.”

“What?”

“And…” Lia continued “just now. The–the healing.”

I looked to my hands…

…dammit. 

“Well, I…” I laughed, “you see–”

“Not even my parents can do that,” said Ariel, and Elf, “and they’ve studied for 50 years!”

They all spoke, a chorus, but not of anger, but fascination.

“I…I’ve been around a long time.”

“How long?” asked Raquel. “Mages have been using staves for 300 years. At least.”

“Well, I–”

“Are you immortal?” Lia asked. “You mention dead spells, and use techniques that are…unknown.”

I took a breath. “Not…that long, I was born in Allivera.”

“What!?” shouted Yonna, “that was city was destroyed 3 centuries ago!”

I laughed it off, “no, no, you must jest, I was born there, and–”

“Maghrit II burned it down!”

“No…” I walked to the map, “you must be lying to deduce…” I looked at the map, the cities, Maghrithelm, Vulenheim, Allivera! Allivera…

…

…comma…

…comma, ruins of…

…no…

“My…”

“How old?”

I, slowly, walked to the podium. “It…appears as though…” a tear…I wiped it, “I…I was born in 641 SE.”

“SE?” asked Raquel.

I sighed, “what…what is the–”

Raquel began “That’s -49 NG, so…”

Lia finished “...681.”

I jumped.

“You’re 700 years old!?”

I, slowly, nodded, “it…appears that…Allivera…why was it burned?”

“When Maghrit II conquered us,” said Yonna.

“What?”

“He used his army of mages to conquer the Orcs–”

“Really!? Did their nullification not work?”

Silence, until Raquel asked “when you say…nullification?”

“Back in…before I…” deep breath, “...Orcs used magic, but not mages. They used nullifiers. They enchanted their equipment with magic cancellation, or, if poorer, powdered nullkana powder – often by – ”

“Grao Mushrooms?” asked Raquel.

“Yes! Why?”

“They…they’re extinct.”

“Oh…” I took a breath, “...Orcs preferred martial prowess, then, so they removed magic from their enemy, and won with swords and axes.”

“Is that why earlier, you said…”

I nodded.

“That…” she laughed, “I thought you were just racist!”

“No, I loved that! I – ” pulled my dagger, and placed it in my hand, and held it out. “I have a dagger that does the same thing! An Orc Nullsmith made it for me.”

“Can I–”

“No, no one may touch it. It is enchanted to me, specifically, and if it touches anyone here, it may jeopardize your ability to cast spells.”

“Really?” asked Tyler.

“The dust,” I replied, “if it gets in your blood, it can remain for months. It dampens – or even ceases all magic. It is also enchanted, but…I still have some dust left over…”...it…it can’t be the last of the Nullkana powder, right?

And…Orcs are just another mage military now? They used to be warriors of strength, mages feared null armor! I feared null armor! The idea my journey would end, not because of my knowledge of mana, but my tunnel-vision – and ignorance of martial prowess. I always had a mace, just in case, but…

…I mean, at least I can lose the mace, that thing is pretty heavy on my belt.

So, I decided to set expectations. “So, in my day,” breath, “we had spells. We cast them from hands,” I cast a small puff of smoke from my empty hand, holstering my dagger. “We cast from hands, expert mages cast multiple spells, but could have knockback or bad effects, like well…earlier. Mage is a dangerous position, and upwards of one fifth died in training alone – it took years, a…adults, spent years…” deep breath, “and incantations were only used to amplify the largest spells. I have never…” I grabbed the staff, “I still don’t know how to use this thing, nor how it affects my magic. The best mages were not large casters, but fast casters, using lightweight spells in rapid succession, like,” I cast twenty little bolts of light from my hand, “but picture fire or lightning.”

There was a general silence, until soon, Lia said “...we’re intermediate, but…” she looked around, “I…I would love to be that proficient, or…even half that.”

“Same,” Raquel said, “we use staves, and incantations, but…”

Ariel continued “my parents can only do…4 spells a minute. They can be big or small, but…incantations are supposed to be a certain minimum…no one…I…I can’t think of a single thing you said, they can-”

The bell rang. The students, reluctantly, stood, and left.

“Yonna?”

She turned “Yes?”

“Can you…after class, teach me about…our people?”

“Of course!”

I smiled, “thank you.”

She nodded, then left.

I took a deep breath, and opened the book. The chapters – they’re all just bland categories, and the spells…incantations, long, bumbling incantations…so many, so…incoherent. I walked outside and used the incantation, but…they lacked…purpose? Strength? It’s as if the benefit…I can barely tell.

It’s strange. I imagined the arcane would, undoubtedly, change in my absence. I never, in my wildest dreams, imagined it would somehow…worsen.

 

I am going to try to make this subreddit have things™ and stuff™ again, basically I want to do something and start writing publicly once more.

I will end up looking to other author subreddits to see what they do, but for now, I decided to put up a short story I wrote before I even created this account, let alone subreddit (also need to update the short story Compendium since I wrote like five more).

I do plan to start the Hands that Cast (title pending) as a Chapter-by-chapter thing, we'll see how that goes.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-uujAn0xriNs5RiMSNQqVz455je3iLySDWY3dBLaRl8/edit?usp=sharing

Hope everyone who reads this enjoys. I do plan to edit this one a bit more - it is technically in the same universe with Byrd and all that. EDIT: It's been a while since I've written those stories - or many, for that matter - so I imagine they're not as memorable now.

This is just a list of all the stories I made. I will...hopefully remember to update it.

Copy/Pasted from my profile, I plan to eventually make these much easier to use. For now, however, just kinda general post stuff.

The Hands that Cast (Working title)

This is the fantasy universe with Byrd, Raquel etc. I've been working on.

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https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1k33ajl/wp_learning_magic_is_an_arduous_journey_requiring/

Chronologically 1st (First 2025 piece)

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1ha5nsx/wp_roughly_every_100_years_a_necromancer_tries_to/

5^th written, Chronologically 1st* (as of 2024)

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hgs83m/wpdespite_being_cursed_into_a_monster_and_being/

Chronologically 2nd*, 6th written

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hgmu1j/wp_can_someone_anyone_tell_me_why_a_hundred_meter/

Backstory only

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h874uz/wp_you_were_a_wanderer_mage_amongst_the_centuries/

First story written - Byrd POV, started all of this

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h88f5r/wp_while_in_college_you_had_a_lab_accident_that/

Second one Written - Raquel POV

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h8kqdo/wp_an_ancient_easily_avoids_getting_killed_after/

First Kobald appearance (fuck you google ill spell it with an 'a' god dammit)

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h91kch/wp_yyou_saved_me_why_i_mean_thanks_but_you/

This is the one that made me decide to stick to prompts better, oddly. This one always felt shaky to me, and I plan to edit the fuck out of it if (when, hopefully) I turn these prompts into a book (no promises)

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hh6b66/wp_thisthing_that_is_appearing_is_evidently_a/

Actually my favorite from the series. Also the only time I didn't like my initial response to the point I made a new one so that's cool(?)

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hnosqd/wp_i_dont_believe_in_ghosts_or_magic_the_talking/

First one in 3rd person completely on accident funny enough

Superhero

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https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h7xro3/wp_you_are_a_supervillain_and_just_as_you_were/

I still really love this one, and still my 2nd favorite.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hb0lcj/wp_your_job_is_simple_you_find_regular_work_for/ Not canon, but still fun

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hea4vz/wp_you_are_not_that_powerful_of_a_villain_but_you/

"What if we gave the villain a fucking Deagle?"

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hezlbg/wp_in_a_family_of_superheroes_the_orphan_is/

It's alright, just nothing special. May end up reusing the characters though

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hh6fx1/wp_i_am_bulletproof_up_to_3006_any_caliber_above/ easily my favorite Superhero one.

Jay (Alexander) Fawkes

Fun character I developed a long time ago, originally as an SCP Researcher, funny enough.

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https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h4ycf4/wpat_your_18th_birthday_you_receive_a_old_key/

The first one was so oddly on the rails...

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h7ti9j/wp_you_placed_a_curse_on_your_mortal_enemy/

I think this one exemplifies his character well: He knows he's doing dumb, evil shit, he just doesn't care. Why I love writing with him so much.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h84or6/wp_for_gods_sake_man_making_a_bargain_with/

(See previous statements)

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h8x9mm/wp_the_macguffin_is_heavy_enough_to_require_team/

Honestly my favorite Jay (Alexander) Fawkes one.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h9d1zz/wp_you_the_villain_faked_your_death_and_started/

This one got the most attention, one of more serious ones as well.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h9u1jb/wp_stop_putting_death_curses_on_immortals_the/

"Now this looks like a job for Fawkes go in there buddy put curses on immortals" -Me, writing this prompt.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1haq2fe/wp_in_the_local_temple_there_is_a_bronze_dagger/

In hindsight, I should've made a new character for this one; hindered it a bit imo.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hb0lxy/wp_isekai_except_all_the_power_fantasy_stuff_is/

First time Fawkes is not the PoV character.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hbh9o7/wp_and_so_i_was_cursed_with_immortality_cursed_to/

Notably the first time I used Fawkes for his original purpose as an SCP researcher, funny enough

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hcbmrl/wp_you_started_a_scam_religion_for_a_quick_buck/

Chronologically, Jay Fawkes’ first life before he got reincarnated in tons of ways to torture those around him give me the joy of writing with him.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hf2eay/wp_denver_international_airport_dia_has_several/ Second and only other time Jay Fawkes acts as a researcher kinda sorta we don’t talk about the 3^rd one

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hh6b66/wp_thisthing_that_is_appearing_is_evidently_a/ The Jay Fawkes story is under the Mod post – I hid it because I just didn’t like it. If the link is purple, it has one from The Hands that Cast

Jay Edward Fawkes – Same soul/character as Alexander Fawkes, but he’s a Zavox (sci-fi) or a Kitsune (fantasy) (Only one story currently, which kinda surprises me)

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hgazu8/wp_a_werewolf_hunter_gets_transported_to_a_world/

This is technically a Firestar one (see below), and also his canonical setting of Sci-Fi Zavoxi. Also my favorite Jay Fawkes story.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hrhyj6/wp_every_part_of_the_space_ship_has_been_replaced/

2nd appearance, once against as the researcher he was meant to be, learning about an anomalous mug.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1ht8hc0/wp_hey_genuine_question_here_do_you_have_a/

no comment

Firestar

Universe my book series I'm working and will totally do this year yes I will yes I will yes I will is set in.

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https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h72ctu/wp_butthey_are_members_of_your_own_race_why_would/

Knight Callahan – This one is not really a series, I consider it an extension of 'other', but led to my first 3-part comment so

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https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hapogg/wp_fearing_your_tremendous_potential_all_mages_in/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hbkdn0/wp_youre_a_knight_but_it_seems_youve_had_a_rather/

Other

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https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h3jsau/pi_youyou_gave_up_villainy_because_youbecame_a/

First prompt written

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h3jx5w/wp_you_venture_into_the_dragons_den_weekly_coming/

Second. Just like this one.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h4prw1/wp_ive_finally_done_it_a_weapon_to_pierce_the/

It's dumb but it's as dumb as it needs to be.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h4o36h/wp_youre_sure_theres_nothing_special_about_the/

Fine. No comment.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h4x5kg/wp_my_wife_has_implored_me_to_spare_you_even/

First 2-parter

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h5q0nl/wp_a_kobold_adventurer_wears_a_large_warriors/

I almost reused Sark for Hands that Cast, but decided not to because muh worldbuilding implications.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h6pbdv/wp_death_is_not_a_judge_who_evaluates_your_life/

This one was an early favorite of mine, andI later realized, while I actively based Death on Billy Butcher, I subconsciously based death on Regular Show death

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h6uez3/wp_how_am_i_still_sane_oh_please_we_put/

Silly, not much else to say.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h7r0lc/wp_in_the_future_humans_are_eternally_youthful/

Last one before the Superhero/Fantasy series if I'm correct.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h7o0m4/wp_kitten_in_need_of_good_home_her_name_is_lily/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1h8bde1/wp_working_at_the_adventurer_guild_is_hard_not/

Another one I almost put in Hands that Cast but said naw fuck it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hal98j/wp_you_are_immortal_but_only_if_there_are_still/

"Cool." -Me, reading it back.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1haicto/wp_at_1_am_your_phone_jolts_you_awake_with_an/

First and only horror (kinda, to be honest) one

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hbfijd/wp_they_didnt_know_it_at_the_time_how_could_they/

I've never drank Guiness before...

Fun fact: Vespula are a race I use a lot so prepare for Byrd beating Wasp ass*!

(*This promise is not legally binding)

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hcf0u2/wp_you_gave_a_gorilla_your_spellbook_as_a_joke/

General dumb but fun.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hgb7jz/wp_the_god_looked_at_their_followers_in_pure_rage/

"What if Believers ate heretical Shrimp?"

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hgnm3v/wp_you_know_that_weird_guy_on_the_street_corner/

Frogs.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hgrjp0/wpyou_walk_into_the_evil_queens_throne_room_the/

My mind doesn't remember this one that well. It's alright, that's all I remember.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hjgfh5/wp_no_princess_wants_to_marry_you_you_are_not_the/

Fun fact: This one might end up in Hands that Cast? Like...probably not, but...yeah, leave it at probably not.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hr15m2/wp_a_famous_luxury_resort_where_a_mysterious_drug/

New personal favorite, even if it ended up more like a bottle episode. Two men, one elevator, one half-remembered movie from Philosophy class that didn't come into effect, but I plan to rewatch soon anyways.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/1hs2z3z/wp_you_got_drunk_while_on_a_night_shift_at_work/

Newest one as of compiling this list.