Basically title, putting all the money in one pot shows a level of trust and companionship that is needed for a successful marriage. If you can't get there, it means there are still trust issues.

(Yours/mine discretionary cash buckets are logistics, as long as most assets are common this is fine)

Possible exceptions for second marriages/kids outside of this marriage etc

Edit: I don't mind a prenup to have insurance for pre marital assets but if you're thinking about marital assets in that way pre-marriage you're ngmi

Some people do not want to hear about their friends’ babies once they become parents and while I agree that EXCESSIVE talking about any topic (including babies) is mehhh, it’s flabbergasting that babies seem to be the only topic excluded from conversation. If you don’t want to hear about your friends’ children, why do you expect them to care about anything in your life that they can’t relate to? Like a stressful job, relationship drama, hobby, or even unfortunate illness or mental health? If you only view friendship as casual, that’s fair, but if you value friendships for better and for worse than babies should not be taboo for childfree people.
(I know not all people are like that, just basing my observation on some sentiments expressed both on reddit and by childfree people in other communities).

Pretty much title. There is zero point to those ads or commercials outside of “people can see if you vote or not”. And why does that matter? In a normal person’s brain, it doesn’t matter. But it seems as though they think it’s a good slogan?

Pretty casual take, but it’s still wild to see basically threats to vote online and on tv.

The best and brightest in their respective fields will absolutely not research all the things that need researched. It’s too politicized. So we have no real research. Research now seems to be funded by those with an agenda to “prove” something. This is nothing new. Tobacco and big oil perfected it over the last 75 years. But if we as a society want real facts, and real research, we have to support and protect real scientists doing real research. It’s the only way to advance.

Im not talking about just straight up ignoring someone you see on a day to day basis thats shady but if you ask someone out and get turned down i really don't think its that odd to lessen/end the friendship especially if the friendship wasn't that long. Women find most men physically unattractive(atleast initially) so its definitely common for men to encounter if their friends with women. If you can handle suppressing your crush its probably the best for your psyche but i can empathize with people who don't really want to.

Gender wars gender waring the genders. GENDER WAR

GENDER IT so it wars the genderears WHAAAAAAAA

There really is no first amendment left. Yes, you can say things in private, but you‘ll never get the masses to hear you without a lot of money and some leverage over a broken system.

motivational videos telling everyone to quit their jobs and "turn your passion into a business." Most people shouldn't.

The second you monetize a hobby, it stops being a hobby. Now it's deadlines, demanding customers, and complaints.

I watched a friend go through this. She loved baking and she was really good at it, so everyone told her to start selling. She did, and business was booming. She still shut it down because it made her miserable, and now she doesn't even enjoy baking anymore. She lost the thing she loved.

If your job covers your bills and lets you keep your passions for yourself, you're doing fine. Not everything has to be a side hustle.

They are unable to be uncomfortable, sacrifice, or be selfless. People are doing less favors for others. Showing up for people less. Most cannot handle parenthood or homeownership. Forget their inability to afford either- besides the point. But they’re the ones complaining about how they wish life was how it was when they were younger. Reels about how life was simpler, better.

Everyone today prioritizing themselves, socializing less, addicted to their phones. Care more about an influencers life than their actual friends.

The beauty of life is gone.

That's why so much dating advice on Reddit falls on deaf ears. If you're reasonably health-ish, haven't had your expectations completely warped by social media, have a decent personality, and are willing to look past superficial things, dating really isn't as difficult as people make it out to be.

Most men and women are hypergamous to some extent, and social media has only made that worse by giving people unrealistic expectations of what they should be able to attract.

The whole 6-6-6 thing is a perfect example. A lot of these guys know they could realistically get into a relationship with an ordinary woman who has an average job and isn't in perfect shape, but that's not who they want. They want THE girl.

A lot of it is just LARPing, and I'm guilty of it too. At the end of the day, who doesn't want to date someone attractive? But the simplest way to improve your chances of attracting someone attractive is to become more attractive yourself.

If you cant become more attractive and you've reached your ceiling then its kinda just tough luck, right.

Either you need to adjust your standards and date within your range or stay single

Here's the kicker, thats very difficult to do. Theres a reason psychologist dont claim to heal people.

Thats it. Thats should be the end of the discussion.

Wanting to have sex with someone because they are a teenager, whether thats an actual 18 year old or someone dressing up as a school girl/girl scout/etc, you are still a weirdo for seeking out the fantasy of a teenager, and frankly if it was legal I wouldnt be surprised if half of the people who seek out this content would go even lower than 18.

its one thing to enjoy sexual power play, its another to fantasize about victimizing someone.

to preface - i am not a well done steak person. medium rare w a little extra char ALL the way. but i digress.
the smoky, carbon-y flavor of something being just a little burnt is SO GOOD. i would go so far as to say this applies to confections, too. when caramel or cookies or something are barely overdone it’s just so out of this world delicious

A couple of weeks ago, I was browsing the unpopular opinions sub, a intriguing sub where one has to walk the tightrope of posting opinions that are not popular enough to be removed by the mods, but not unpopular enough to be downvoted into oblivion.

One fine debater posted that they believed all public transport should be free. I responded by saying that while I agreed with the sentiment, the funding would have to compete with other public services such as education, healthcare and infrastructure. A perfectly reasonable reply, one would think, and on grounds where everyone can discuss the matter civilly - there is no question of taking rights away from anyone or harming them, unlike the red button issues of gay / trans / abortion rights.

If you think the ensuing discussion was civil, you would unfortunately be completely wrong, and dumbfounded like I was. I was immediately accused of being a right-wing shill for the military-industrial complex by not condemning the money spent on useless wars in the same way, and also accused of being a anti-environmental, morally bankrupt person for not considering the costs of private transport (by multiple different people).

The ironic thing is that many people on Reddit say "Oh we can discuss things civilly and calmly when it comes to things such as municipal zoning laws or city spending choices, but not when it comes to stripping people of their rights and killing them". No, other Redditors have unfortunately proved that you in fact cannot discuss even the most innocuous of things on Reddit without flinging around accusations of bad faith and personal attacks. It was never, never about good or evil in the first place, but about venting at people while feeling morally upright, even on mundane things akin to municipal zoning laws.

I frequently see women tell men who struggle with dating to “just be confident,” and I think there’s a lack of perspective here.

Confidence is attractive in both men and women, but I think it’s substantially more important for men to have. Men are generally expected to initiate romantic interactions, make the first move, flirt, escalate, and risk rejection. All of these things require a certain degree of confidence and assertiveness.

Women, on the other hand, can often afford to be shy, passive, or socially awkward without those traits being nearly as detrimental to their dating prospects. A shy woman can still attract men who approach her. A shy man who never approaches women might never get anywhere.

I’m not saying women don’t struggle with dating, or that confidence isn’t attractive in women. I’m saying the consequences of lacking confidence are very different depending on your gender.

And I think that’s something worth acknowledging before telling a man who’s struggling with dating to “just be confident,” as though it’s some simple adjustment he can make.

There was this video where someone said Toph was lesbian. I replied that I don't think it's canon. They said I was homophobic!

I can see why they may have thought I was, but it's a bit far fetched... I never mentioned it wasn't okay to think she is, I just told them I don't think it's canon.

Please use your words correctly.

Meow meow meow? Meow meow meow meow meow. Meow meow. Meow meow, meow meow meow. Meow meow meow meow, meow, meow. Meow meow meow! Meow meow meow meow. “Mew meow” mew mew meow moew! Meow?! Meow.

I am constantly seeing things surrounding many cases of school shooters/mass shooters that sympathize with them, more so than with the actual victims of the violence and in reality the perpetrators should be degraded and shamed to oblivion.

"He had a rough childhood"

"He was bullied" etc.

An important thing to remember in the most infamous mass shooting case, Columbine, is that Dylan and Eric were the bullies themselves and would consistently harras students, break into people's property and threaten death on other people. They were not "picked on by society" they both had a massive persecution complex and were generally well liked before their descent. (If you wanna blame anyone besides them, blame the parents and school admins.)

The worst thing the two faced were parents that didn't seem to be in their lives all that much but even then I cannot sympathize as many of us have had neglectful parents (me included) and while we might have turned out weird, we never went and hurt others violently. I can sympathize with a mean streak and slight misanthropy as a stage in getting over childhood trauma, but I cannot for mass violence onto others.

I know there are many more cases but my attitudes towards all of them are the same.

To sum this up, if your solution to spiraling mental health and isolation is mass violence onto others, I cannot sympathize with you whatsoever. Please make a mockery of these people when you can, whilst respecting the victims.

People always talk about how having money means being able to afford nice houses, holidays, expensive things, etc. But honestly, I think one of the biggest benefits of having money is not having to put up with people you can't stand.

When you're financially dependent on a job, family or other people, you often have to tolerate individuals you genuinely dislike because you can't afford the consequences of walking away.

You have to smile, make small talk, be polite, manage other people's egos and pretend to be pleasant towards people you'd otherwise have absolutely nothing to do with.

And I find that exhausting.

It's not necessarily that these people have done anything particularly terrible. Sometimes you just don't like someone, don't enjoy their company and would rather not interact with them. But when they have influence over your income, career or opportunities, you can't simply ignore them.

To me, financial freedom isn't primarily about luxury. It's about having the ability to say, "I don't want to deal with this person anymore," and actually being able to walk away without jeopardising your livelihood.

Obviously, you still need basic civility to function in society. But there's a massive difference between choosing to tolerate someone and having no realistic alternative.

Does anyone else think one of the greatest luxuries money can buy is freedom from having to interact with people you dislike?

The amount of people I come across on this sub (or just in general) who seem to expect that women should be affording them automatic attention and praise just for existing is unbelievable to me. Every day I am seeing guys making arguments about, posting crappy memes about, and getting into long heated discussions essentially about how frustrated they are that the lowest effort methods of finding a girlfriend don’t magically work for them.

Crucial mistake number one: these people treat specifically dating apps as if they are the be-all-end-all system for meeting women, and mock the entire concept of actually going outside and making an effort to meet real people and practice actually socializing like the majority of individuals in relationships actually do. So because these people’s entire perception of the dating world is based upon the very narrow and flawed platform of dating apps, they begin to develop this bizarre mythology about women and dating in general where apparently the only men with girlfriends are 6’5 and millionaires or something just because appearance and social status happen to be some of the ONLY things that can be somewhat accurately advertised on dating apps. These apps, which by the way, are statistically populated by men 5 to 1 compared to women.

And so you’re probably wondering why they don’t just consider trying to meet real people instead? Well, because they are abjectly inexperienced with and terrified of the presence of women. These people cannot talk to women, they don’t know anything about women, they have never made an effort to relate women, and their brains are filled to the brim with naive misogynistic talking points about what women are supposed to be like rather than learning what women are like by actually being around them for real. Often, these are people who seem to genuinely just hate women in every respect outside of the concept of being able to possibly use them for sexual gratification and that’s about it.

So the point should be obvious: why would anybody ever expect to jump head-first into the most difficult type of relationship that exists with somebody, when they can’t even stand to be in the same room as them in the first place? You cannot date somebody if you’ve already decided that you hate them before you’ve even met them. Sorry guys but yes, you have to learn how to make women appreciate your mere presence on a basic level first before any of them will ever consider dating you or sleeping with you. Nobody has ever said that making people like you is supposed to be easy, I understand that, but it’s hard for me to have any sympathy at all for the types of people who don’t even try.

I understand if someone on the street or the internet criticized you unfairly and made you butthurt in the heat of the moment, but holding a grudge over an opinion of a random nobody that doesnt affect your life in any way is quite pathetic If im being honest.

Like all the gender wars bullshit going on in this sub, people here feel personally offended by shit that is either projection from OP or astroturfing bots.

I think some bitter women use feminism and the patriarchy to justify their resentment toward attractive women.

There’s this weird thing where if a woman is conventionally attractive, feminine, gets a lot of male attention, likes makeup, dresses sexy, whatever, suddenly everything she does is “for the male gaze.” She’s shallow, she’s desperate for validation, she only gets opportunities because she’s pretty, and any negative experience she has with men gets dismissed because “pretty privilege.”

And I’m sorry, but sometimes it’s very obvious that this isn’t actually about dismantling the patriarchy. You just resent women you think are prettier than you, and feminism gives you a socially acceptable way to look down on them while still feeling morally superior.

Pretty privilege obviously exists. So does the patriarchy. But attractive women are still women living under it, and being attractive can actually make certain forms of misogyny and objectification worse.

Some women don’t hate patriarchal beauty standards nearly as much as they hate the women who meet them. And I think we should be able to admit that without pretending every shitty attitude a woman has toward another woman becomes feminist just because she learned the phrase “male gaze.”

around 79% of English speaking users on subreddits are American. When someone is roasting the boomers for instance, it's safe to assume 4/5 times it'll be an American talking. I think assumptions in low stake conversations are not a big deal. It would be like assuming someone went to public school until they say they were homeschooled.. unless the context was about homeschooling or something that would give context to go away from that default.

But when a post is talking about "boomers vs genZ" I'm gonna assume most people are American.

We've all seen the advice posts:

"My [relationship] did [somesuckthing], what should I do" or "I feel [somefeeling] for my [relationship]

Inevitably a large portion of the advice will be leave them/cut them off/ they're toxic.

And this goes for a lot of types of relationships, from familial to romantic.

And honestly, people need to apply more caution. They don't know 99% of the context. Maybe the person is in a bad headspace when posting. Maybe there was context. Maybe people are imperfect.

But more than that I think the advice is undervaluing the intrinsic value of relationships. And the value of working through things. And the inherent imperfection of people. Like there are posts with a single text conversation and then people dog pile and say the person is clearly horrible. In a shocking twist people say and do things on text which really are momentary lapses. Emotional people do stupid things.

Is the advice always wrong? Most certainly not. But it's not about those times. It's about the sheer lack of restraint people have with telling someone something like

"Cut your mom out of your life." Or "end this 10 year marriage"

Unless there is obvious abuse, that's not the advice you should be giving a stranger on the internet. Even if they are asking for that advice it needs to be restrained to the limits of your knowledge.

If you took seriously all of the advice on this sites about the expectations for people, you will live a very lonely very unfulfilled life. And I fear there are a lot of people who are in serious danger of that outcome.

Violence should be taken much more seriously in society. Laying hands on another person with the intent to harm them must lead to severe punishment. Physically striking another person is extremely serious; a single blow can cause lifelong injuries if it hits a sensitive part of the body. All around the world, violence should be viewed as something deeply disrespectful, horrific, and grave.

i’m am so fucking tired of every conversation about a woman celebrity being about how they’ve gotten plastic surgery and “destroyed their faces” and how they’ve should have “stayed natural” or whatever. i get it, im tired and depressed with the overflux of cosmetic procedures and how misogyny and ageism have especially driven this trend, but it’s also misogynists and shitty to mock, shame, and shit on people who do it.

shaming people who have had it is only going to increase body dysmorphia and self hatred. when celebs and everyday people see how much people hate their new appearance, they’re just going to get more.

i hate that kids and teens especially are growing up in this superficial, filtered/ai enhanced, plastic world, but that’s just how it is and again treating the people who do it like shit only makes it worse.

there are ways to have conversations about the systemic issues surrounding plastic surgery without it contributing to the very reason why women get it in the first place.

idc if someone is pro or anti plastic/cosmetic surgery. i care a lot about women never being able to catch a break no matter what they do.