Im in the place that people describe as the easiest place in the world to hook up, find relationships and grow as people.

People party every week, make memories for life and live real life movies

Almost no people graduate without atleast a solid friend group and a couple of romantic experiences

Then theres me who hasnt made a single friend in 4 years.

I can go a week without speaking a single word, just attend the lecture, drive home, eat, go for a walk and the spend the evening playing games

Im "only" 23 but im afraid i will never experience a romantic relationship

I let them lie and manipulate me cause I want to believe so badly that someone in this world actually wants and likes me. They pretend then they throw me away like garbage and it makes me feel so awful inside.

I've been thinking of talking with a psychologist/ psychiatrist for a while now. I'm 25M and I've never had a romantic/sexual experience. I didn't even have friends till 2 years ago, when I somehow managed to make a bunch of friends (tbh I think I got lucky). But for a couple of months I've began to feel "sick".

I feel my life is being drained from me. I hate my body, because of health problems and I've come to believe I'll never have a romantic and sex life. I'm not suicidal, but I don't feel like I'm living life. I'm just like a plant, surviving. I try to work on making life better, but it feels like a lost battle and I stay awake at night thinking of how everything I do is futile. I can't change my life.

So, has talking with a therapist improved your mental health? I don't expect a therapist to teach me how to get a girlfriend, but it'd be nice to at least be able to fall asleep without feeling like a total failure every night.

Hi, well halloween is approaching and i am starting to get depressed as fuck for the incoming holidays and new years eve and january and saint valentine and the idea of spending them alone or aguing with my family or getting excluded.....what about you guys and tips or advice is welcomed.

I am depressed and in a bad mood, I spent so many new years eve alone watching fireworks while couple kiss o group of friends hang out....

Dating, relationships and sex are the main themes of pretty much any sitcom. I always felt like sitcoms are not for us loners since they treat themes that are not familiar to us. They also most of the time represent virgin and lonely characters in a denigrating way.

That said, I am a big fan of the show Seinfeld. Even though dating and relationships are very common themes in the show, I really love it. However, I also started watching Friends lately but I really didn't like the show so far. I find the jokes very simple and predictable even though everyone I know in real life is a huge fan of the show. I am starting to think maybe I can't relate with the jokes since I am almost a 30 year old who is a virgin.

What do you guys think about sitcoms? Do you watch them?

This isn’t an angry rant or even a bitter one but a self realization. Unless I change myself and stop being shy or scared or whatever else is wrong inside me this is my life for the foreseeable future. Barely having any if I can even call them that, friends. No love life cause for some reason romance and love are hard for me to grasp and even hold onto. Not being able to trust or not drive the people I care for or even love away. No sex life cause I look unappealing or people see me as pitiful or even a red flag given my past actions of causing harm to myself and the scarring is always there as a reminder. I get attached easily to those that show me an ounce of kindness and I feel like I’m annoying to them or worse they use that against me… I know what my future looks like and I know who’s fault it is. I think I just need to let it settle in and when it does maybe it won’t plague my mind so often.

Like i get it, your proud of your family member being a normie, now fuck off out of my algorithm

Because that's pretty much a fact at this point. I have been on dating apps for years at this point and the only people who ever liked my profile were visa scammers. I go outside and I get absolutely zero interest from women, which is hardly surprising given my looks. Even if I did try to talk to someone, my autistic accent would mark me out.

I just wish I could accept this, move on, and try my best to live a somewhat meaningful life even without romance. But no, between my brother always going out with his girlfriend, between my co-workers all being in relationships, and seeing couples going out, it is impossible for me not to feel envious about it. I'm 24M and I feel there's little point in trying because all my attempts, from going to the gym to styling myself, has led me absolutely nowhere.

I've spent most of my life alone. I have no friends, never had a partner. I live in a poor country with no public spaces or opportunities. So I spend most of my time indoors because where would I even go? Dating apps are a humiliation ritual and most people always blame it on you.

This feeling is lifelong. I remember fantasizing with having a partner everyday for who knows how many years.
What it would be like for someone to want to spent time with you, hug you, appreciate you. I can't even imagine what it would be like. Which is why dreaming about it is as close as I'll get to experiencing it.

Unfortunately, it is extremely rare for me to have dreams like that. I've only had one once. A few years ago, I dreamed about having my first kiss. It was a short dream, but I still remember it and how shocked I felt because she was the one to show interest first.

Even while dreaming, I could "feel" the kiss, but I still knew it was false. I knew it was just my brain trying its best to imagine what it must feel like. But it lacked "warmth", because I don't actually know what it feels like.

After all these years, I stayed the same. Never had another dream like that and I wish I could. Or at the very least, I wish I could imagine someone being here.

I’m starting a new job that was advertised as hybrid, and one of the things I was hoping for was the opportunity to get out of the house, meet people and potentially make some friends along the way.

During conversations with my boss, though, I found out that nobody actually comes into the office. It’s technically hybrid, but in practice everyone works remotely. My boss even warned me that the previous guy quit partly because there were no opportunities to socialise. I don’t really know what to make of that, but it’s genuinely getting me down.

I’m a man in my 30s and I’ve never had a girlfriend or really experienced dating. I’ve spent years trying to improve myself, going to the gym, trying different hobbies and social activities, volunteering and generally trying to put myself out there. I’m not someone who just sits at home expecting a relationship to magically happen, but despite all that, I’ve never really managed to build the kind of social life I want. I think part of me was hoping this new job might give me another opportunity to meet people naturally. Not necessarily to find a partner at work, but just to have more regular contact with other people and perhaps make some friends. Now I’m worried that I’ll be spending most of my working life alone at home, with very few opportunities to meet anyone new.

I know it’s not my employer’s responsibility to provide me with a social life, and I appreciate that plenty of people work remotely and have fulfilling lives. But when you’re already struggling with loneliness, finding out that even your workplace offers practically no social interaction feels pretty bleak.

For those of you who have been in a similar position, how have you managed to build a social life outside work, particularly when your job gives you very little opportunity to interact with people? And for those who have been in their 30s or older without much dating experience, is there a realistic way to turn things around when you feel like you’ve already spent years trying?

I really don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone, but at the moment I’m struggling to see how things are going to change.

I sometimes see posts from FAs who are doing well in every other aspect of their lives (career, money, friends, etc.) but only have problems with dating.

Honestly i wish that was me too. I got rejected in the final interview at the hospital i really wanted, after spending two months in the process. I only got into a mediocre university hospital near my home, and since then, I’ve been rejected by every other hospital I’ve applied to.

It sucks that as an FA, I'm not going to find a partner or build a family in the future, so I wanted to at least feel accomplished in my career.

I think I used to be fixable... I have been many many years fixable... Many years where if somebody appeared, I would just gain instant strength and felt like I could deal with anything...

But now... With everything Im carrying. All this useless pain...

I wonder... Even if I found a partner right now if I could keep going anymore... I think maybe yes, who knows, but id take a lot of time to heal...

But... Who cares... Nobody wants me and Im going to be alone until my last breath...

Type 1: Neurotypical + Conventionally Attractive Looks = Easiest difficulty (but can still end up FA especially with issues such as trauma)

Type 2: Neurotypical + Average Looks = Standard Difficulty. Still very hard, but with enough social exposure and repeated attempts, most should succeed.

Type 3: Neurotypical + Conventionally Unattractive Looks = extremely difficult but with enough social exposure, eventually most neurotypicals statistically find love and date anyways

Type 4: Autistic/Neurodivergent + Conventionally Attractive Looks = Difficult but made easier with the pretty looks (though this can heavily depend as I've heard many stories from attractive autistics about how their pretty looks attracts potential partners very well but they fail to hold on to them once they smell the autism).

Type 5: Autistic/Neurodivergent + Average Looks = Nightmare difficulty mode

Type 6: Autistic/Neurodivergent + Conventionally Unattractive Looks = Extreme Nightmare difficulty Mode (and in my opinion the people most likely to end up on this sub alongside type 5). Take me for example: 5'5, balding, autistic and indian (race with least dating market appeal due to racism and racial biases).

Now a special note for us type 5 and 6 folk (and to an extent, type 4s):
The key for us type 5 and 6 (and type 4) is to never allow ourselves to fall into the maladaptive daydreaming loops. My psychiatrist explained to me how many autistics who grow up without pretty privilege are so horribly treated that we use maladaptive daydreaming as a cope to meet our needs which is extremely dangerous as it prevents us from learning the necessary social skills to not only date, but to survive in the world in general. I know it seems hard but trust me, in the future, you will feel far more happpy with yourself that you actually tried in the past. Bare minimum, as autistics, we must ensure first that our financial situation is stable (which in itself is a bare minimum dating requirement anyways) as that will alleviate alot of our worries. Get a job in your special interest IF YOU CAN. Ensure that you engage with your special interests in your spare time. First step in dating is to learn how to make FRIENDS with the opposite gender (or whoever you are interested in). Get into therapy and social skills training. I know how insanely cllche this sounds but wiht enough hard work, it will pay off. That is our skills as autistics. Obsession. Lol.

I think that's not an exaggeration because next thing. Asociality means having critically low level of charisma, soft-skills, "animal" charm, pushfulness and conformism. Without that traits you will be invisible, even if you have an almost perfect health, smart brain, good looks or a lot of money. And this invisibility destroys almost everything in life - school days, growing up, all types of relationships, career opportunities, and sometimes even civil rights. When you talk to somebody about your problems, they give you a toxic positivity examples alike Nick Vujicic. "Look at him! He hasn't hands and legs, and achieved success! And you just keep on whining!" - they said. But completely ignoring the fact, that he has incredibly good social skills, which are for the most part a consequence of genetics, raising and habitation. And many of another, asocial disabled persons, are rotting in dereliction. One more thing - social services in developed states is almost worthless for a helping with the problems of asocial people. Only empty words or canned responses. They only serve those, who fit the "norm".

21,I feel really bad whenever Holi, Janmashtami, Dussehra, Durga Puja, Diwali, Christmas, or New Year or any other festival comes around.

It feels like everyone is out enjoying these occasions with their friends, going places, celebrating, making memories, and having someone to spend the day with, while I'm just sitting here alone.

I'm 21 years old, and I still haven't even gone out once in my life to watch a Dussehra Ravan burning. It sounds like such a small thing, but it genuinely hurts because I've always wanted to experience these things with someone.

No matter which festival it is, instead of feeling happy or excited, my mood gets worse. Festivals seem to remind me of how alone I am and how much of these experiences I've missed.

I don't know if you call me a prison inmate but maybe I am. I'm so horny but no woman wants to be with me. I just want the physical sensation of sex and if its a guy then maybe that's what it has to be. Im by no means attracted to men but I need some kind of touch sexually. My mind is definitely playing tricks on me, thats how sad and desperate I am.

I went on a 3rd date with a woman this year I got from an app. I'm a 21 year old autistic man that was diagnosed at 3. We met on tinder. But anyway we went for coffee and she was basically 30 minutes in I asked if I was neurodivergent even though I was trying hard to mask. We then spent more time together for like an hour or so but we didn't even get to PDA like I did with the other 2 (which also went nowhere).

I hate being born this way. Why could I not be normal. I don't like my looks at all as well but if given the choice of gaining 3 inches of height or becoming not autistic I would definitely choose to get rid of the disability. Because every time I get in the door it sabotages that.

She said she'd love to go look at the stars with me and get ice cream this week.. we talked for a bit.. then she left on me on delivered for 2 days then unadded me. I can try my best but no girl will ever be with me

So basically this girl and I were talking for 2-3 months and like my 20th birthday was on Friday we were planning to do so much and then out of nowhere when we were about to meet she blocked me on Snapchat, do I truly ruin everything I touch I really do think I’m meant to have NOBODY forever

There can be some leeway if you're attractive and autistic, if people can overlook actual crimes cause someone is 'hot' them you can definitely find a partner if you're hot and autistic.

But if you're ugly and autistic, women don't give you the time of day. No matches, and if so you'll automatically find yourself unmatched. Or ghosted/stood up because they find your behavior 'offputting' even though you're not creepy nor rude to them. Nobody makes eye contact with you.

I wish I wasn't autistic, I wish I could rizz women up but I don't have that in me. They always want me to shut up, even the two girls I did date. Both cheated, with one financially abusing me and I took it cause I liked having attention of the female variety, only left after she cheated :/

And since then nobody has looked my way, it's been months! I keep getting guys trying to get me to switch teams, but I know guys aren't picky. I know when they're desperate they'll chase after anything, I'm just an ugly dude that no woman will ever want to settle down and raise a family with. Because my looks and behavior are so offputting

after school and college most mediocre-average men can get a relationship if they genuinely put enough effort in, yet these relationships will always be preconditioned on keeping up appearances, finances, social status, or straight up manipulation. You will always be insecure and never experience unconditional love.

Did I have to get called to the cute receptionist?

I’m waiting on line and there are four possible receptionists. One, I find incredibly attractive. She’s helped me in the past. She’s bubbly, remembers my name, asks little questions apart from business, holds eye contact with a little smile.. etc…

I know there’s nothing there. I know she is simply a nice person doing her job. I know it’s only the raging desperation inside me that’s screaming, “MAYBE…”

So why do I have to get called to her desk? Couldn’t I get the matronly veteran that’s all business? The one that just wants to keep things moving?

The last thing a starving man wants to see is a meal he can’t touch.

I know I wouldn't be lonely if I was attractive enough but I think I have quite niche interests, which doesn't help with dating. I noticed people usually talk about politics and sports.

I personally hate talking about politics (not political ideas but day to day politics) and sports. I used to be very interested in these two topics but now I am not interested in them at all. I don't like talking about day to day politics because nothing interesting is ever mentionned. The only thing that is repeated by people is how bad the political situation is and how much politicians are corrupt. I find the conversations about this topic very boring and repetitive.

I used to watch all the major football leagues in Europe, the NBA and the NFL but now I hate watching sports. I find it just very stupid watching rich dudes (most of them younger than me) playing a game while my monthly salary barely covers my bills.

I think I have interests that would be considered niche by most of the people. I am interested in things such as Shogi (Japanese chess), Xiangqi (Chinese chess), the Basque language, Ainus, the origin of Indo-Europeans, Trojan war, anarchism (notably Rothbard's work), cardistry, transcribing classical music on bass guitar etc. I also don't like modern games and play retro games. Are you guys also interested in things that would be considered niche?

Jokes on my former classmates tho, i think duck hunting is fucking boring but thats cause i dont have anyone my own age to go with

also anyone got any good meme ideas?

I have been talking to a woman on a friend making site and here is how she described her interactions with a man that she likes:

"When I said that I accompanied him on his journeys, I meant that we stayed in contact through WhatsApp while he was travelling. He travelled from his hometown in the Netherlands to Gdańsk, and we kept messaging throughout the journey. He would travel to a railway station, take a train to another city, go to the airport, fly to another airport, and then travel from Gdańsk to his hotel in a small town. We would be in touch through all those stages.

I think he sometimes felt lonely during those journeys and perhaps quite stressed, so having someone to talk to might have helped him. I must admit that it made me feel special when he messaged me immediately after landing in Poland. It made me feel that our conversations mattered to him."

Here is what she said about me:

I also appreciate the fact that you take an interest in my health and the problems I’m facing. It’s truly kind of you—among my own acquaintances, there are very few people who genuinely care about how I’m doing; usually, they just talk about their own lives and then disappear.

Today I was feeling rather low, so I thought I would write to you, and immediately I started feeling better. You see, that’s how it works! I’m happy you’re here.

Naturally, since she lauded my praises (sorry if the expression is wrong) and referred to me as a good friend, I assumed she'd want to talk to me on WhatsApp too, and text me, just like she talks to men. However she only wants to talk to me via email once every few days.

This makes me wonder, why are attractive men better than me? Why does she prefer talking to them over talking to me? Am I that boring? Are they better people than me? But she told me that man kept making excuses to not meet in real life, so it doesn't seem like he was that great. Generally I've noticed that when a female friend (I use the term loosely since they probably didn't like me much) starts talking to a man, she happily talks to them all day long and I'm luckily to get one message ever again.

I might ask her exactly what attractive men have that I don't have, that makes her love talking to them frequently and not me, but I don't like confrontation so I thought I'd ask here first.