My (f25) parents both died shortly after I tuned 18 because of an accident involving a drunk driver. Now I'm 25. I haven't dated too much, it can be difficult finding a good guy, not only dealing with a lost most people your age haven't gone through but also being someone who doesn't drink, not even occasionally.

I am straight up with it and explain things right away. 6 months ago I went on a first date with a guy with “Jay” (m28) I told Jay, I don't drink and gave Jay the back story. Jay told me he occasionally drinks socially but would stop drinking for me if we started dating.

So that's what happened, I was so happy to find someone I thought would change for and we could be sober people together, we went to parties and weddings didnt drink. We had fun on our own.

Until Sunday night. Jay had just gotten back from a work conference and had explained he was going to get dinner with a few buddies from work, then he was coming over to my place. Well 3 hours later, he showed up so drunk he could barely walk. I had to help him to the couch.

I checked outside and seen his car sloppily parked outside. The next morning he was crying and apologizing saying it was an accident and it would never happen again. He was begging for me to forgive him, and give him another chance. I told him I would need some time before we can talk again. Because I am extremely hurt.

I don't know what to do. Would love some advice Dad.

Hey there everyone. This is for anyone else out there that has struggled. Last year I went to the doctors and was told I was pre-diabetic, only sugar intake was alcohol... I was drinking every night to help with the physical pain and mental scars from being deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan 4 times spending 10-11 months there each time. I never realized that the bottle was not only killing me but hurting my family too. Last year I put down the bottle and joined AA. It has been a long but hard road and just wanted to share that it is possible. Hardest part was the first step... You can do it to if you are struggling and you aren't alone. Over the past year there have been alot of changes to the house. My oldest son comes around more and wants to spend time with me, middle son talks to me on the regular and opens up more, youngest son actually wants to hug me and spend time with me, and my daughter well... she has always been a daddy's girl lol. Things are slowly getting better and my health is improving. Thank you all for letting me share and hope you all have an amazing day!

I thought I would at least get a text from my dad but nope. I wish I had a better family.

Father, if the divine forces ever offered me a chance to undo my existence starting from my conception, I would take that chance. At least, perhaps, you'd have gone to Atlanta like you wanted to.

I was “diagnosed” with functional neurological disorder. I went from walking in August to now completely wheelchair bound. I don’t qualify for physical or occupational therapy. I OD’d again. My current wheelchair is causing me unbearable pain as I also have fibromyalgia that went untreated for six years. Both of which are still being untreated. I’m having daily seizures. I don’t see neurology until mid December. I can’t afford private therapy let alone a new wheelchair. I’m 22. I give up. I was supposed to be going to school to become a funeral director or mortician, but that’s off the table also. There’s nothing for me to live for. I lost all independence, I’m in pain 24/7 and I’m broke and will never raise enough to get the equipment I need to function. I’m scared.

Disclaimer: Yes, I know this looks AI-generated. It's because I was talking to ChatGPT and had it help me summarize my thoughts. If you don't like it, scroll away. I just needed to get this out and off my shoulders.

Sometimes, I think about my stepfather, Jake, and wonder what things would be like if he'd said yes when I asked him to adopt me. Back then, I didn't hate him. I actually wanted him to be my dad. I pushed past my insecurities and asked him because I genuinely wanted that relationship with him. But he didn't say yes.

My mom's reasoning was that if Jake adopted me, we wouldn't get child support from my biological father. Honestly, I've always wondered if that was the real reason or just an excuse. I wish Jake had spoken up for himself. I wish he'd said he wanted to adopt me anyway, that being my dad mattered more than the money. But he didn't, and I'll never know what was going through his head.

Sometimes, I think that one decision changed everything. Maybe I would've been closer to Jake than I am to Matt now. Maybe I would've grown up seeing Jake as my dad instead of someone I eventually came to hate. There's a good chance I would've hated him 99% less. Maybe I would've been the daughter who loved him endlessly.

That's the thing about the butterfly effect. One decision can change the direction of a relationship, and I'll never know what ours could've been.

Every now and then, I still find myself wanting Jake to be my dad. Then I remember that day, and something inside me shuts down again. Part of me still wants the relationship I once hoped for, but another part remembers that I gave him the chance to make that happen. I was brave enough to ask, and I didn't get the answer I wanted.

An apology wouldn't change things now. It wouldn't undo that moment or restore the feelings I had for him back then. He had his chance when I was willing to make him my dad, and he didn't take it. As far as I'm concerned, he'll have to live with that choice.

I think part of my hatred comes from who Jake could've been to me. It's not just about the person he is now, but the relationship we might have had. I can't help wondering whether things would've turned out differently if he'd wanted to adopt me as much as I wanted him to.

Back then, I was just a kid. I didn't know much about the world or how cruel it could be. I didn't know what depression felt like, what it was like to have a breakdown in the middle of the night, or how hard it could be to keep friendships alive from a distance. I didn't have Treblo or music to pour my feelings into. I didn't understand nearly as much about my own emotions as I do now.

I thought everything was cupcakes and rainbows, like Poppy. But eventually, life showed me that not everything turns out the way you want it to. People can disappoint you, and sometimes a single moment stays with you long after everyone else might have forgotten it.

I miss being that kid sometimes. I miss looking at the sky and seeing little sheep in the clouds instead of getting lost in thoughts about what I could've done better, whether I belong here, or whether the people around me deserve to have me in their lives. I miss when things felt simpler, before I had so much to question about myself and the people I loved.

And maybe that's what hurts the most about remembering that day. I remember the little girl who wanted Jake to be her dad, who was brave enough to ask, and who had no idea how much his answer would affect the way she saw him years later.

I can't change what happened, and I'll never know what our relationship might have looked like if he'd said yes. I just know that back then, I wanted him to be my dad. And sometimes, I still wish things had been different.