My (f25) parents both died shortly after I tuned 18 because of an accident involving a drunk driver. Now I'm 25. I haven't dated too much, it can be difficult finding a good guy, not only dealing with a lost most people your age haven't gone through but also being someone who doesn't drink, not even occasionally.

I am straight up with it and explain things right away. 6 months ago I went on a first date with a guy with “Jay” (m28) I told Jay, I don't drink and gave Jay the back story. Jay told me he occasionally drinks socially but would stop drinking for me if we started dating.

So that's what happened, I was so happy to find someone I thought would change for and we could be sober people together, we went to parties and weddings didnt drink. We had fun on our own.

Until Sunday night. Jay had just gotten back from a work conference and had explained he was going to get dinner with a few buddies from work, then he was coming over to my place. Well 3 hours later, he showed up so drunk he could barely walk. I had to help him to the couch.

I checked outside and seen his car sloppily parked outside. The next morning he was crying and apologizing saying it was an accident and it would never happen again. He was begging for me to forgive him, and give him another chance. I told him I would need some time before we can talk again. Because I am extremely hurt.

I don't know what to do. Would love some advice Dad.

I thought I would at least get a text from my dad but nope. I wish I had a better family.

Hey, remember when I told you I started working with kids and they’re so germy so I get some kind of sickness every month?

Yeah well, I’m sick again. (I’m fine it’s just a cold) but I lost my voice. Which is ironic cuz husband is still out of town and now I can barely whisper on the phone to talk to him lmao.

Anyway I need my voice for my job and I’ve had a cough for a week (asthma = no bueno)
so I decided to go to my local urgent care after work.
The last time I was there I had a horrendous experience with the doctor working the late shift.
Im sure you know but since I was sick as a kid I know what the early symptoms of pneumonia look like in me, but they didn’t believe me = wouldn’t run any tests and told me I had allergies. (I got into my car and had a panic attack after.)

Went back today, was told I’d be seeing the same doctor. So I stood up told the nurse “I need to leave, I’m uncomfortable seeing that doctor I have to go”

HOORAY! That was really hard to do.

I’m gonna schedule an appointment with my primary doctor for next week don’t worry, he’s chill.

Disclaimer: Yes, I know this looks AI-generated. It's because I was talking to ChatGPT and had it help me summarize my thoughts. If you don't like it, scroll away. I just needed to get this out and off my shoulders.

Sometimes, I think about my stepfather, Jake, and wonder what things would be like if he'd said yes when I asked him to adopt me. Back then, I didn't hate him. I actually wanted him to be my dad. I pushed past my insecurities and asked him because I genuinely wanted that relationship with him. But he didn't say yes.

My mom's reasoning was that if Jake adopted me, we wouldn't get child support from my biological father. Honestly, I've always wondered if that was the real reason or just an excuse. I wish Jake had spoken up for himself. I wish he'd said he wanted to adopt me anyway, that being my dad mattered more than the money. But he didn't, and I'll never know what was going through his head.

Sometimes, I think that one decision changed everything. Maybe I would've been closer to Jake than I am to Matt now. Maybe I would've grown up seeing Jake as my dad instead of someone I eventually came to hate. There's a good chance I would've hated him 99% less. Maybe I would've been the daughter who loved him endlessly.

That's the thing about the butterfly effect. One decision can change the direction of a relationship, and I'll never know what ours could've been.

Every now and then, I still find myself wanting Jake to be my dad. Then I remember that day, and something inside me shuts down again. Part of me still wants the relationship I once hoped for, but another part remembers that I gave him the chance to make that happen. I was brave enough to ask, and I didn't get the answer I wanted.

An apology wouldn't change things now. It wouldn't undo that moment or restore the feelings I had for him back then. He had his chance when I was willing to make him my dad, and he didn't take it. As far as I'm concerned, he'll have to live with that choice.

I think part of my hatred comes from who Jake could've been to me. It's not just about the person he is now, but the relationship we might have had. I can't help wondering whether things would've turned out differently if he'd wanted to adopt me as much as I wanted him to.

Back then, I was just a kid. I didn't know much about the world or how cruel it could be. I didn't know what depression felt like, what it was like to have a breakdown in the middle of the night, or how hard it could be to keep friendships alive from a distance. I didn't have Treblo or music to pour my feelings into. I didn't understand nearly as much about my own emotions as I do now.

I thought everything was cupcakes and rainbows, like Poppy. But eventually, life showed me that not everything turns out the way you want it to. People can disappoint you, and sometimes a single moment stays with you long after everyone else might have forgotten it.

I miss being that kid sometimes. I miss looking at the sky and seeing little sheep in the clouds instead of getting lost in thoughts about what I could've done better, whether I belong here, or whether the people around me deserve to have me in their lives. I miss when things felt simpler, before I had so much to question about myself and the people I loved.

And maybe that's what hurts the most about remembering that day. I remember the little girl who wanted Jake to be her dad, who was brave enough to ask, and who had no idea how much his answer would affect the way she saw him years later.

I can't change what happened, and I'll never know what our relationship might have looked like if he'd said yes. I just know that back then, I wanted him to be my dad. And sometimes, I still wish things had been different.

I was “diagnosed” with functional neurological disorder. I went from walking in August to now completely wheelchair bound. I don’t qualify for physical or occupational therapy. I OD’d again. My current wheelchair is causing me unbearable pain as I also have fibromyalgia that went untreated for six years. Both of which are still being untreated. I’m having daily seizures. I don’t see neurology until mid December. I can’t afford private therapy let alone a new wheelchair. I’m 22. I give up. I was supposed to be going to school to become a funeral director or mortician, but that’s off the table also. There’s nothing for me to live for. I lost all independence, I’m in pain 24/7 and I’m broke and will never raise enough to get the equipment I need to function. I’m scared.

Father, if the divine forces ever offered me a chance to undo my existence starting from my conception, I would take that chance. At least, perhaps, you'd have gone to Atlanta like you wanted to.

29F. I was raised in a two parent home with a mom and a dad.

They are both very emotionally abusive. And have been physical in the past.

The dad one hurts because up to the age of 12 he was a good dad.

We used to bond. He would talk trash about my mom which made me feel confused growing up because then he would defend her when I would lash out. He beat me more than once and forced me to take a pregnancy test in front of him peeing in front of him after my rape. It was so humiliating I tried to kill myself.

What hurts is I love old cars. I love woodwork and carpentry like him. I love mechanics on cars.

But because hes sexist we never bonded over this.

I just wanted a dad like the movies or the reddit posts where theyre like hi im a dad and I love my daughter. I would do anything for my family.

Instead I got one that looks at me with such disappointment and disgust.

The closest compliment I got from him that I had nice legs. That was it. It was so pathetic.

Anyways im not soliciting DMs but I hope a dad whoever carpeting and cars responds to this and tells me im not a fucking failure like my dad did.

Hi Dad, the knob just popped off this entire system is so new to me. It’s a hydraulic radiator. I just want to be able to turn it off until my Landlord can get the handyman in. They’ll take a week to get someone and it’s quite hot, and I am worried about my electricity bill going high if the heat stays on.

Hey dad(s), lately I’ve been feeling alone, stuck in life and like I’m just behind while everyone’s moving on with their lives. I uhm feel like nothings okay. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel okay. I guess part of me just wants the reassurance that I’ll be okay and I’ll be fine.

God I sound lonely. I’m supposed to be asleep but I can’t sleep, god I wanna be a kid again, crawling into someone’s arms and feeling like all will be okay.

Maybe I should sleep it all off.

I hope you’re proud of me, I’m marrying a wonderful guy I think you’d really like.

And in this alt reality you could be warm and caring. Can you take watch whilst I sleep, so I know nothing bad will happen? Or could I have a hug? I'm so worn out and tired of worrying about everyone's safety. May I put it down for a sec?

I had a rough day and now I can’t sleep. Feeling so numb, lonely and lost. I had a really tough childhood and have always felt the void of parental love, care and support. I just wish I had been dealt different cards. Family drama is so taxing because of the history. The relationship that’s left is very sparse and empty, built on broken sticks. Feeling in a low spot and would really like it if at least one Dad gave me some love and care. It would mean more than I can express and hopefully it will help me sleep or at least lift me from the low spot to start my day.

Dad, I just don't know what job to take. I currently work for a company that leaves me feeling scared that they don't want me or that I'm not doing a good job. I moved cross country for this job, and the area really grew on my wife and child.

I have an offer one state over. It's a really good offer. More pay, less taxes, good bonuses... my wife may not need to work full time. But what if they don't like the area? What if my family is less happy?

I feel so much pressure. I can either live in fear that my current company doesn't think I'm doing a good job, or risk it for a company that really wants me but I don't know if my family will be happy with the area.

I don't know what to do and I need some advice.

Hey dads,

I could really use a hug and some dad support right now.

Long story short, I recently reconnected with my high school crush from over a decade ago. I thought it was sweet at first, but it didn't take long for me to realize he was actually married and trying to hide it.
When I caught on, I didn't make a scene or lose my cool. I stayed calm, stood my ground, set clear boundaries, and walked away. I cleared our chat and deleted his number. I know I handled it with self-respect, but honestly, I feel completely drained and frustrated.

What hurts the most is that this isn't even the first time. It feels like I keep attracting married guys who think they can use me as a mistress, even though I live a clean life and have absolute zero tolerance for that stuff. In a moment of weakness, my brain even whispered, "Is it because I'm not good enough?"even though I know logically this is entirely about their lack of integrity, not my worth.

It just sucks having a good memory ruined, and I'm tired of dealing with men like this. I don't need advice on what to do next. I just need a dad to remind me that I made the right call, that I didn't do anything to invite this, and that I deserve so much better.

Hey dad, just wanted to say that i love you. Miss you. I know that i don’t saying it often, but i am still love you. And I believe that you proud of me. Wish i could hug you now. Maybe some day i will send it to you, papa

Hi dad(s). I am confused.

I am always being there for people, checking on them, making them little selfmade gifts (I often crochet for them). I always make sure they feel seen and loved but I never get the same. I don’t need gifts or shit but is it so hard to ask how I’ve been?

It’s like that since forever. I don’t know why. Maybe I am wrong and I am a horrible person or maybe my personality is shit or it’s just something people don’t like about me. I am lonely and I don’t know how to fix it.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me

when i go online and see videos of people talking about their dads i get this feeling of emptiness in my chest. i don’t have any good memories of my dad. i can’t stand the smell/sight of newports or coronas, or i can’t listen to certain songs from jay-z or rick ross because they remind me of him.

i haven’t spoken to him for 3 years, and it’s starting to hit me that i’m grieving the relationship i’ve never had with him. i never had a role model in my life, i’ve always been the person i looked up to. i learned how to be an adult on my own but i wished i had a shoulder to lean on that wasn’t my own.

i’m envious of people who have a good relationship with their dad. i find myself trying to look for a father figure out in the world and i’m not entirely sure how to deal with the grief. i’m very confused and exhausted from these feelings. any advice is appreciated.

Basically goin crazy rn tryin to calm myself down. Way to excited almost couldnt sleep. Out of Job for 2 years dont have that goof of a resumee bc of my disability ( many gaps ) just idk ... maybe could need a few Words of encouragement

EDIT:

Jobinterview went fine i guess sure was a bit over nervous but yea either i get it or not and if not well one door closes other open.

Ty everyone for their very kind Words of Encouragement :)

Dad, i'm so tired of being mostly bedbound. MECFS is such a bitch. Tomorrow i have a Dr's appointment that is really important and i know it will be a pain in the ass to go there. I want to reschedule but i've waited months for it, so i shouldn't. But it's so hard. Mentally and physically. I wish you'd care, Dad.

my first love at 18. we had this radical alignment where we talked about our deepest views, our vulnerabilities, and built this insane trust. we had the little college things going on which explains the intense proximity levels throughout our relationship, just little things like going on grocery runs together, baking things , doing laundry together, or just holding hands and sharing each other’s music or cuddling during movie nights. he told me i was his favorite person to talk to and spend time with. he took me stargazing and told me he was in love with me. i thought he was the dream guy and i was falling in love with his soul and his first personality. i gave him my absolute trust and my firsts. we would talk about our dream house, things of that nature, he would initiate those conversations which is crazy when you think about what happened next .

then suddenly he turned on me out of nowhere. said he was bipolar and schizophrenic and that he doesn’t feel he’s good enough for me anymore, or that he feels like an imposter in the face of romance, that the thought of romance makes him “angry” or frustrated with himself. i didn’t believe it. i ended up crying and so did he, but the stress from all of this literally led me to the er from not being able to breathe / hyperventilation. i think the part that freaked me out the most was the concept of losing “us “ or being forced to “move on” ..

i asked for space, he wrote me a long apology letter and sent it to my dorm. that was another story, i found it insane and so out of character. it’s been a week since and he’s not looking good after we broke up (i have one class w him) and it's honestly kinda sad to see. hes neglecting himself just like he neglected me. i miss him so much but it’s the version of him that ceases to exist, like he’s trapped inside the memories. when i'm depressed i still have empathy for other people, and part of me wants him back just for the being. i don't even want someone "better" because i loved him for him and the presence of his particular person. but looking back it feels like there’s concerningly 0 overlap with how he’s acting at the moment besides his face, and even that spark in his eyes changed.

. i don’t even know if i feel the loving feelings for him right now but i keep spinning in loops because i care so much about the person he was. is it worth staying or even trying to speak with him or do i keep the door closed?? idk anymore ive gone over this with friends many times

I started uni two weeks ago and I'm feeling very homesick. It's kind of a complicated situation. My parents are Italian but I was raised in multiple different countries (none of them Italy). I never lived in a country long enough for me to consider that truly home except for China, and I haven't been back there in almost 10 years. For uni, I decided to move to Italy. I was tired of being a foreigner everywhere and figured I might as well go to my parent's country because it's my only shot of not being a foreigner somewhere. Yeah so that's not working out, I am definitely not Italian enough for that. I already knew that deep down but I figured I kind of hoped that I'd arrive and something would just click and I'd belong.

Anyways, now I really want to go home but I don't know where home is. China has changed so much in the past 10 years that it's no longer the place I remember. My old neighbourhood is unrecognizable so even if I went back there, it wouldn't be my home. Italy isn't my home. None of the other countries I've lived in are home. There is no "home" for me and I don't know how to live with that. I feel like I've been treating everything in my life as temporary (I mean because it was) so I never even got to develop a "home is people you love" situation because I never viewed any relationship as something permanent to maintain.

I don't think I want to stay in Italy, it's making me really miserable, but I don't know where I need to go

I'm in my third year of college and this is by far the worst I've ever felt in my life. This semester is absolutely kicking my ass. There is an ungodly amount of work that is all due at the exact same time. I work 4 jobs, I'm taking 18 credits, and I'm in a play. I can't keep up but nothing is slowing down. All of my schoolwork is either due on Tuesday or Wednesday, and I'm majoring in animation so it isn't stuff I can half ass either. Its just so fucking ridiculous how much there is to do, I've been having to settle for "good enough" to get by this whole semester, then during critiques and stuff my professors grill me for everything I did wrong. And sometimes it feels really targeted. I was talking with my friends in my one animation class and they said during the in-progress crit the professor was complimenting/pointing out the things they were doing well, she also walks over and addresses them by their names and has a happier tone when talking to them. Then she goes to me and just grills me for everything, not a single "I think this is working well" or nothing. And I know my stuff isn't the best but it's adequate because the TA says what she likes and thinks is working well. Idk I've never liked this professor that much and I'm now regretting taking another of her classes.

Honestly I'm drowning. I'm fucking miserable. All of my college experience so far has been this unbearable grind that knocks me out so bad. I have to be an RA so I can afford college and that job drains me too. I'm just so fucking miserable. Life feels fake and I'm starting to go insane. Like I'm just so angry and I have no where to put that. Idk I just wanna run away as fast as I can.

I also cannot get a win. Every single time I think something decent will happen or life is becoming bearable I get gut punched and kicked in the teeth. Every one of my friends always says how happy they are and how fun it is to live with their friends/partners and have no responsibility besides classes and work. I'm so fucking jealous of them. I want to fucking bad to have nothing to do, I wanna live with my partner, I wanna have time to play videogames every night. I wanna not worry about having a place to live.

I can't fucking do this anymore. I'm actually starting to loose it. I need a goddamn win so fucking bad.

(My sister was groomed by the man next door)

We were watching a film together, she told me to lie down, we had clothes on, she was on top of me and moved herself up and down on me, we were both face to face but didn't look at each other, she told me I was to do that to her next but in the end I didn't, not sure why, not sure if she walked away or something happened, she was four years older

The above seems so insignificant compared to the stories you hear, I don't want to call it something it isn't

Is this sa?

I confronted her about it years later, we haven't spoken since, like for maybe 10/15 yrs, I wasn't angry or blaming her, I don't know why I brought it up now, probably shouldn't have

To be honest im not even sure if this is the right community to post this in

I'm 19m here's some backstory before we get to the main thing growing up my father always yelled at me over the small things it didn't matter what it was if I had messed things up i would be yelled at by him and my mother never did anything then when I hit 15 I was seen a psychologist because I was struggling with social anxiety, ptsd and depression and every time I would get home from these appointments my father would always make comments saying how its a wastes of money to me and he would always make comments about what I wanted to do in life now up to 3 months ago we got into a yelling match about yard work because i had refuse to do something that he has asked me to do and I told him no then he started yelling at me and making comments so I finally stood up for myself and told him hes was a piece of shit of a father and a few other things since then my family acting like I'm the villain for standing up for myself.