This is my story to tell

Its a story about how my ex best friend abandoned and betrayed me and then painted everything as my fault painted me as the villain.

And how this has impacted my life since.

I will also go into my wrongs as well.

Im going to tell it in full from beginning to end.

Im moving and I want to leave this behind me leave it in the last place we had still been friends the last time we were together.

Moving is a fresh start for me.

Me and this person had been friends since 5th grade. The person I dated breifly in highschool and went to homecoming with.

19 years.

In 2021 I was homeless in a tent and he came to visit and we decided we would finally be intimate for the first time. We tried to go to the pleasures adult arcade but there were alot of creeps and no private spots so we rented a uhaul van and drove it up the the front trailer park we both grew up in and wrote over all the bad memories togeather...it was magical.

In 2022 he came to visit again he was usually coming to visit his mom he got a motel room downtown and again we shared intimate relations id never felt so beautiful and loved. Untill he was talking about Kate and how she was his # 1 because of how she fianchally supports him. I felt like chopped liver.

In 2023 he came out in March with his fiance.

He told me she was ok with him being intimate which I found odd because he had told me b4 they were in an open relationship but he coulden't sleep with anyone he knew or anyone more than once. But he told me it was ok so I went with it. His fiance had a panic attack.

He went back to her and later that night we all went to dinner and a movie. She was...closed off.

And he was nervous and walking on eggshells.

The next day she had gone through his phone and found his snap chat and everyone he was talking to. She made him call up every single one and tell them what a peice of shit he was...then I was called and told our fwb situation had to end and I agreed because our friendship was more important to me. At least this is what I was told I said. He messaged me later after that and told me he would have to close off his relationship untill further notic.

August 2023

He came out to visit again but this time he seemed different angry upset. He stayed with a woman friend he knew in a hotel I stayed up there with them. He disclosed that caitlin had been physically abusive twords him. He also gave me further notice. We were intimate once again we went to the club and we filmed a porno togeather he also pretended to be my finsub for pictures. Then when we got back down to the springs. He would be staying on my futon for a couple days untill he went home...he completely shut down at that point. He refused any more physical intimacy...i felt rejected and upset. I didnt want to take no for an answer. He was feeling guilty about his fiance. During that visit he also told me he wasent happy he stayed with Caitlin because he could not go back to his family a failure and she was supporting him fianchally I had also admitted I wasent happy...at one point i had said what if we had stayed together in highschool...he snapped at me "but thats not what happened"

He went home.

August 2024 his final visit.

His mother was going to need care for a month so his sister could go on a trip.

So he has planning to be out here for a month.

Then his mother took a turn for the worse

And he came out early.

The first night he told me caitlin begged him not to sleep with anyone while he was out here. Her not knowing there cleaning lady back home was his submissive. He made the desition he said were going to be intimate anyways. I was wrong but I went along with it because I knew how he could make me feel.

The following day he went to see his mom and she hemoraged from every orifice right in front of him.

I comforted him that night. That night I asked him if he would dominate me he said he could only dominate those he loves. So i asked him if he could show me what I should look for in a dom...he definitely showed me. The following day he bought shrooms and acid and dmt and we all tripped together.

He was on video call with his sub the whole time

We were intamate again for the last time...

The following day he shut himself off in my room and told me he no longer wished to be intimate. I was upset i felt rejected and abandoned again. I knew he would not be coming to visit again. He introduced me to fetlife.

That evening he wanted to go to pueblo to get weed he asked me to go with him to help him buy extra.

I was still upset but I said yes. I had decided it was time to end the situationship.

I wrote a long message on the way to pueblo.

Once we got back I went for a walk he read my message and replied " My love for you is non-situational and non-conditional I will always want to be your friend I'll always want to be in your life I'm sorry we cross the line but I don't regret it either I'm happy for every time we spend together and most of all I just feel awful for what I put you through

I'm so sorry "

Then he asked me to go to woodland park with him that evening so he coule get some things from his sisters.

On the way up there he told me his sub felt betrayed like he had cheated on her and how caitlin was his #1 and Stephanie was his #2 and how i would always be important to him but that if i ever wanted to end the friendship he would understand but it would hurt more than the death of his own mother....i still did not have a spot on his list of important people i was...an afterthought. I was a convenience. I was dam good pu**y and nothing more. Garbage to be thrown away when he was done with it.

He decided with caitlin he would get on an early flight home the next day.

He was panicking and feeling guilty and he said he would smash his phone or somthing.

I asked him what I should do if caitlin ever contacts me. He told me to do whatever I want.

He left and that was the last time i ever got to hug him.

November 4th 2024

I had just had my first real dom sub experience

And he calls me up panicked and put me on the spot telling me to tell caitlin everything.

I tell him im not doing this his way.

I took any power or control he had in this situation and said im going to do this my way.

I told him to have caitlin contact me and i would tell her everything.

She contacted me and i told her everything.

She was very upset she disclosed that they were never in an open relationship and he had been lying to me for 4 years. And that when they came to visit togeather was the one and only time she gave him permission.

She disclosed that he had sent intimate pictures of her to others without her knowledge or permission and that he had been doing coke.

That he has screwed Stephanie on her side of the bed in there home.

I was so angry... the last thing he ever said to me for over a year was im sorry im like this ill figure out my shit and deactivated his account.

I felt abandoned and thrown under the bus. I felt like all the accountability and responsibility for his actions was triangulated on to me... and well it was. I was informed by caitlin he had attempted slewerside. That i needed to wait untill he contacted me while he recovered...all of a sudden he needed to be protected.

I was so angry and upset and so it was turned around on me and made about my reactions instead of his actions and choices

6 months of waiting on my 30th birthday i send a letter to end the friendship and a box of momentos. I had hoped he would contact me he would fight for me...he did not he hid behind caitlin and i didnt know he had already blamed me for everything and turned me into his villan. May 5th I got a message from caitlin blaming me for everything. Saying he wasent who he wanted to be when he was around me she blamed me for his choices well both me and Stephanie. Saying the only reason he made those choices was because he was around us...he was no longer responsable for anything that happened he was being enabled.

And I felt destroyed...i felt like it was my fault I felt like his slewerside attempt was my fault.

I know now that it wasent.

I felt like id made the wrong desition.

I went through our old messags to process the loss and found something incredible.

In 2016 id told him about my grandfather's abuses

And this allowed me to reconnect with my family i was so greatful but I now felt 10x more horrible how could I end things with somone who had been there for me in my darkest times.

So I messaged him I wanted to fix things i wanted to repair he saw but never replied

He blocked me only on fb that year on his birthday.

I still had hope hope our connection was not lost.

So I started working on myself and writing a letter. I felt heartbroken like i was going crazy it all hurt so much I felt like i wanted to die. I wrote the letter I needed to write and hand deliver.

Which i did new years eve. I got on a plane from colorado to new Jersey and I hand delivered this letter... when i knocked on his door he came to the door saw me ducked and tried to hide he took forever to open the door i handed him the letter and i said happy new year and goodbye i went and i skated at central park and I did everything I could to release myself.

When I got home I hoped he would eventually contact me he did not I did an 8 hour cord cutting ritual and started seeking somone who would love me... and cherish me for me.

I found somone incredible and amazing but I still did not have any closure and i didnt know if i would ever get over it...get over how he treated me.

April 2026

I had looked at his tiktok a few times and he blocked me and this was the straw that broke the camels back for me I messaged him on my family Facebook I messaged him this

"Look I had no intention of ever contacting you again but if I can't even look through the windows you left open then close them all.

I miss you And I'm going to want to know how your doing in the only way I can. Ill want to rewatch old videos and see what yer reposting/interested in. And I have every right to want that. I'm not pushing to reconnect but if I can't even look then please just give me a clean break I beg of you the silence the ambiguity. I dont need clarity but I need certainty. I got on a plane and I delivered a letter I'm not even sure you read but it was important. Avoid me fine but at least do it cleanly. As many feelings as I have worked through and as much as I've grown its going to take me many more years to fully process everything that happened.

If yer gonna block my tiktok my main Facebook. Please block this Facebook please block my number. Block my twitter. Block my Spotify. While I'm not waiting for you. I still care so much and I either need someway to express that energy by seeing how you are. Be fair to me in this one way. I should at least be allowed to ask this of you.

I met someone amazing who made me realize you didn't treat me right. You never did and you were never fair. And that you choose to stay in your avoidant attachment style and you choose to stay silent you choose the easiest path of withdrawl you chose not to repair. you continue to choose this. These are all your choices I didn't get a real choice I didnt get an option.

You made a choice when you lied to me on Messenger after that brief five-minute call from both of you in early 2023. A call I barely remember. In that message, you said Caitlin knew about us. I assumed you meant since 2021. I had no idea that was the one and only time she gave you permission until she told me herself. I don’t even know if the things you told me when you visited later that year were true.

You said Caitlin had abused you physically and I believed you. I still hope it wasen't a manipulation. I chose to continue sleeping with you...because it’s what we both wanted. It was our mutual choice. It brought comfort to both of us. And you never owned up to that.

You made the choice to never speak to me again.

You will avoid me for the rest of your life I've accepted that you won't face me.

You're wrong and you know you're wrong and you may have grown in ways I'll never know. But you will never truly or fully grow untill you learn how to face your mistakes.

I would have done almost anything for you.

And I probably still would. But not if you message me. You will have to find me and show up at my door and be ready to have a real conversation. I won't accept anything less than the same efforts I've put forth. I know your capable of growth, great things, and great change. You are also capable of repair. And until you work on learning to face your guilt and shame and learn how to take accountability and how to repair.your not sorry and I don't consider you to have figured out yer shit. And your not sorry your like this. And you will only be able to distract and compartmentalize to get through each day for so long. I know yer mom didn't like me very much at first. I liked her she was a spunky lady but I'm sure she wouldn't be proud of how you handled this entire situation or how you treated somone who was your oldest friend. Somone who was your best friend.

Put all my @'s

Close all the windows if you don't want me looking through them its simple.

I know you will read this but I already know you wont respond and thats ok but I hope you will at least do what im asking. If you have ever cared about me youll do what I’m asking of you. I can't just block you because I’m not strong enough to keep you blocked."

Then he finally replied after a year and a half of silence this is what he said.

" Leave me alone you crazy bitch, you aren't owed a window into my life.

This distance gave me clarity, my silence, is my choice, as is mine to respond this one time.

You show up to my house in a funeral outfit in the middle of the night.

Me Caitlin and our new partner are happier than we ever have been.

The only point of contention is when people don't take no for an answer.

Do you remember when I told you I wanted this to stop right after my mother died.

You shut down, acted like a child, gloated about fetlife and snap chat all right next to Chris and I as we tried to relax and watch TV.

You neglected my personal space, I said no more, you couldn't take it.

I choose to cut off contact with people who care more about themselves than me in situations like these.

I care too much, Caitlin calls it my worst fault. So there's no doubt I understand the hurt I've caused, but you need to reevaluate your own standings.

Now kindly go live a fucking happy life, all the way over the fuck over there.

Ps I read your letter you delivered, I read everything. I was greatly disturbed and disappointed.

The pinned Facebook posts, the cord cutting ritual I ironically performed for our friendship months prior to your video Id done with Caitlin as support during.

I'm so tired of this, we were friends, it became toxic. Things end, so mote it be"

I finally got closure but it also felt like my heart broke all over again at least i had my answer.

He showed me who he really was....i want to clarify some things.

I showed up at 5pm in a goth outfit.

No way hes got a 3rd partner caitlin is way to insecure for that.

I ended our fwb situation not him. He never would have.

I did not "gloat" about snap and fetlife my husband said thia didn't happen and i may have been excited after he showed me snap and fet.

I still stand by my letter even if he didnt like what I had to say.

Hes pathetic.

I started writing music and I plan to release it in the next few years ive written 18 songs and done alot to move through this. I still miss him but i think I miss the version of him i thought he was the version I saw through rose colored glasses.

The verson he pretended to be.

Now ive grown and I still often wake up and think to myself "how could you".

But then I think of everything i have everything im so greatful for

A wonderful somtimes very stupid husband.

A loving caring Dom/boyfriend/best friend i can tell anything to.

A loving and supportive family.

Getting to see my dad once a week and play Magic with him.

Having my little brothers in my life.

Getting the wardrobe of my dreams.

Getting a super nice camera

I have come to terms with the fact that corey will never grow never reflect and never face acountability take responsibility and he will never apologize to me.

He owes me one but his ego and his pride and his avoidance will never let him.

He still looks at my social media even though he made it clear he didnt want me viewing his...People behave in the strangest of ways.

Michael corey elzey, the resin man coreylz@scififoundry.com , and scififoundry is a hypocrite. Hes not even worthy to wear the rings he makes hes no ring bearer he is weak willed a coward and a liar.

Caitlin Marie cook, i hope he was worth protecting and I hope she never laid her hands on him again. I never forgave and will never forgive her.

I feel alot better now. Im moving and our car is paid off there are still some bumps here and there to work out but Im strong and ready to take it all on ready to rise to the occasion.

He did not break me he killed an old version of me a weak verson of me a broken version of me he killed my naivety.

He did not break my ability to love.

He did not take my ability to trust again

He did not stop my want to be kind

He did not hurt my ability to view the world with wonder and joy.

He left a deep scar and its the only way I think about him now.

I know my anger is justified

Im angry that I humiliated and prostrated myself before him

Im angry he didnt even try

He didnt try to repair

He didnt try to apologize

Im angry he didnt care

Im angry that 19 years of friendship matterd so little to him

Im angry he messed up and didnt own it

That he hid and blamed everything on me and his other partners.

Im angry with him but I dont live in that anger.

I hope he drowns in his guilt and shame.

Im going to visualize this relationship as a grave i can visit occasionally. Not somthing i carry with me everywhere i go anymore. But it will be there so sometimes I can stop and leave flowers.

I (M19) and my ex (F18) just had our official, final conversation, and honestly, my brain is short-circuiting trying to understand her logic.
Two months ago, she broke up with me because she was going through a rough patch, felt depressed, and claimed she needed to be single, independent, and alone. I respected that. We stayed in contact, and I knew she still had feelings for me.

Then everything changed.

I just found out she’s actively pursuing a new guy ("N"). When I called her out on it and asked why she was chasing someone when she "didn't want a relationship," her response was: "Well, I don't want a relationship, but I want to see if there's something between us." Translation: She absolutely would get into a relationship with him if he wanted her. To be fair though its been almost two months.
The twist? "N" isn't even interested in her, right now at least. He openly talks about finding a girl hot but she doesn't care. It’s like she’s addicted to the thrill of chasing someone who doesn’t like her.

To be fair, I had my flaws. During our relationship, I was controlling and anxious—I wanted constant updates whenever she hung out with other guys, which pushed her away and just other stuff. She also told me on our final talk she hates clingy guys and prefers someone who doesn’t like her as much so she can live her life. Yet at the same time, she tells friends that I'm "hot, the best, and fine."
During our final talk, I asked her straight up if she fell out of love with me. She said yes. It hurts like hell.

I’m trying to process this. How does someone go from wanting to be "independent and alone" to desperately chasing someone who doesn’t like them. To be fair they’re friends right now and talking so… but this was all while telling people their ex is amazing? Is this a maturity thing, or do some people just thrive on rejection?

Another thing she got with me two weeks and we’ve only known each other for four weeks after her toxic relationship lol, she got over the dude pretty quick and we lasted 2 years, had a great relationship she even told me i was great, i was good at sex and etc but i was just too controlling. I guess it’s just a pattern lmao.

Not to make a long post, I'll give the meat and potatoes of what happened:

3 years ago she ghosted me, no reason whatsoever. Just vanished from my life. I became emotionally closed and anxious of everyone that came after her.

A few months ago I came across her phone number and messaged her to finally close out our chapter and forgive her. Turns out she's always been a terrible person with no accountability at all. But somehow I gave her a chance, we got back together for a while. More and more things about her started to unravel before me, things that I could not sit well with. Add to her emotional manipulation and abusive tendencies, I told her she either respects me as an adult or she can look for another pet, which I felt she was doing to me. I broke up with her, and I feel free from her bullshit.

I've learned what I could tolerate and what my boundaries were, she failed both.

They say a breakup is like having withdrawal symptoms, because our brain tricks us to soften the memories when in reality there is a definite reason why things ended. She was highly toxic to me and she didn't value me in the slightest. I should have learned my lesson 3 years ago, this time around it still hurts but I know I'll be better for it. I just hate that it feels this way, I wish there was something else that would make things easier.

almost 2 years of post break up, I'm the one who ended the relationship and initiated no contact. When i found out he was constantly trying to find ways to reach out to me, i gave him a chance. He made huge love declarations about never being able to move on, and almost made me feel bad for making him feel that way. I didn’t exactly seek to reconcile but reconnecting felt good. He later ghosted me outta nowhere, blocked me and yesterday i saw him post his new girl. And i feel like I'm back to feeling how i felt when i'd freshly broken things off since yesterday. Overthinking, overtly anxious, my stomach upset, crying myself to sleep lol i hate this feeling!

This has happened just today,

Me and my bf have been together for a year, from day one already sleeping together at my place everyday, and simply living life together

I learned fast that he was a drug addict, and we used together for some time

I helped with food, and sometimes money

I went thru his phone once in a while, and found some messages that I’d classify as cheating, but I stayed too long and had already been emotionally attached fully, and he gaslight me about it

for context I’m soon 19 and he’s soon 23

I felt like I had found something for the first time that I needed to hold onto

And i met his family, friends, we went on vacation and promises were made about moving in together

Then we broke up for a month, and have been together for a month now again

I thought he had changed, and wasn’t using drugs as much anymore, but things didn’t add up and he suddenly had more girl friends

I asked about it, and we had an argument, and also about me often not sharing my feelings face to face

I was so sad that I threw some thing, not in his direction though, then I apologised a lot (Two days ago) he went and said he loved me but I needed to work on myself.

Then a day of silence from him, and now today I asked if we were okay. And got a picture of him behind a girl, in bed. With clothes on, and the picture was blurry some places, I’m not sure if it’s even real, and he loves using ai (But I’m fully sure of the cheating, I’ve been denying that it wasn’t just over the phone)

But all I got back was “I never said we were back together”, and to stop texting him.
I feel so lost and manipulated

I know I let him hurt me too much, and I was thinking at some point that I would stay no matter what, because I feel so lost without him

How do I process this and move on? There’s so much more to this, but it’d be pages long

I know I’ve been naive, and stupid

I genuinely don't know how to get over this breakup, and I could really use some advice from people who've been through something similar.

We were friends before we got together, so it feels like I haven't just lost a boyfriend. I've lost someone who was already a part of my life, my routines, my interests, and so many little things that made me happy.

The worst part is that everything reminds me of him.

My hobbies remind me of him. Songs remind me of him. Things I used to enjoy on my own now have little pieces of him attached to them. Even the things I want to do to distract myself somehow lead me back to a memory of us.

And I don't know how to deal with that.

How do you reclaim things that used to be yours when they became part of your relationship, too? Do you force yourself to keep doing them until they stop hurting? Do you take a break from them? Do you find completely new hobbies and hope that, eventually, you build a life that doesn't feel like it's missing someone?

There's something else I'm struggling with, and I don't know if other people will understand it.

I'm scared of becoming unkind to him.

I'm hurt. I'm angry about how things ended. There are things I wish he'd handled differently, and sometimes I want to be angry enough that moving on becomes easier. But I don't want to turn him into a bad person just because our relationship didn't work out. I don't want to erase the good things he did or pretend that the love I felt wasn't real.

I don't want my heartbreak to become cruelty.

At the same time, I keep holding on to his memory so tightly that I'm scared I'll never move forward.

Somehow, forgetting him feels like cheating. Like if I start enjoying my hobbies again, laugh without thinking about him, listen to our songs without feeling that ache, or build a life where he isn't a central part of everything, I'm betraying what we had.

As if moving on means the relationship didn't matter enough.

I know, logically, that this probably isn't true. But emotionally, it feels like I'm being disloyal to someone I once loved simply by learning how to live without him.

I don't want him back just because I'm lonely, and I don't want to hold on to the relationship just because I'm scared of what my life looks like without it. I want to get to a point where I can remember him without wanting to go back, where I can acknowledge that someone mattered to me without feeling like I owe that version of my life the rest of mine.

But I don't know how to get there.

So, for those of you who have been through a breakup where your lives and interests were deeply intertwined:

How did you learn to live with the memories without letting them keep you stuck?

How did you reclaim your hobbies, your routines, and the parts of yourself that became associated with your ex?

And how did you make peace with moving on without feeling like you were erasing someone who genuinely mattered to you?

I don't need advice about how to hate him or how to prove that he was a bad partner. I just want to know how to let go of someone without making the good memories feel like a mistake.

I want to remember him kindly, but I want to be kind to myself, too.

I just don't know how to do both yet.

Im 22m going through some shit guys my gf cheated on me and I can't sleep I'v been vomiting its just horrible

There isn’t anything specifically brilliant about it but it was from the decade I was born in . They have been making break up songs since I’ve been alive and people having their hearts ripped out since then . Since then they have gotten up and eventually moved on . You are at the bottom of the hole . It won’t always be the case . You don’t forget them but what you will do is realise that who they were isn’t actually that good . You can do better , and you will . All the best

So me and my ex are nc rn but he has a habit of coming back (so far 4 times) and i assume this is final and so to grieve i find listening to his playlists helpful. He was really into music. Now for context, im his first and only partner. He would liken me to a goddes often and stuff and talked abt his dreams he had of me every night.

Well i was looking thru his playlists to calm the urges to contact him (i dont recommend this to everyone it doesnt work for some ppl) and i found this playlist called "i wish i could" (fake name for privacy) i made a fake playlist with the same songs just for his privacy sake.

Everyone i asked agree its abt me but i wanna ask randos.

Also this is public... like a public playlist he made. If it is abt me, does he want me to see???

playlist

19F. in the process of a break up, and i am not doing too good. i have the house alone to myself for the week, which was supposed to be spent with my partner, until i found that he’s been seeing a girl he just met this year. my world feels flipped upside down. i feel so beyond disgusted at him. i am full of so much hatred. but, deep down, i am beyond hurt and devastated. i am sad at what i have lost. nearly 4 years of my life down the drain.
when i told him i want to break up, he begged and begged for me to stay. used the “i have no one else” and the “i’m at the lowest point of my life” excuses.
i feel sick just thinking about it.
when will it ever get better?

My former partner ended our relationship and has been intermittently ghosting me. She specifically mentioned that she mostly texts one person and this one person is someone she finds attractive but apparently does not like. I recognize she is not required to message me, yet I would like to rebuild our connection; it feels as though I am kept around because I am easy. She does send occasional texts, but I am often left on delivered for several hours while I know she is using her phone with others, which feels disrespectful. I suppose I am unsure—once I told her that her silence bothered me, and she replied, “Why do you care? Nobody else cares, only you. It’s just who I am, and I have always been like this.” That hurts. We parted on good terms, so I feel she should respect me enough to want to text. It aligns with the idea that they do not love or respect you enough to be consistent; she seems to care only about her new friends, who are mostly men because her workplace is all men. I guess my attention and presence dont even matter anymore.

it's been a couple of weeks since my breakup and i'm having panic attacks at night bc i can't talk to him or reach out to him. he was my best friend, i don't have a lot of friends and the ones i have i can't keep bombarding them with this . they all have busy lives and i can't expect to have a babysitter. my ex and i spent everyday for the last 3 years together and the sudden loss and being alone and having no plans is sending me into a horrible place. i don't feel like im living, every day is a struggle. i wake up and it instantly hits me, i spend all day in this panic state and i go to bed like this. it's not getting better. he seems to be doing okay while i feel like im slowly dying.

i'm in a place where my future seems so bleak, food has no taste, all my hobbies and favorite things seem so meaningless. there is no joy anymore in anything at all. what's the point anymore when you lost the best thing you had

how in gods name do i get through this . my nervous system has been a wreck now for what seems like an eternity. the only time i have some relief is when i am asleep

Life is such a strange, beautiful, and cruel thing sometimes.

Today, we finally put the last period at the end of our story.

She told me she no longer sees a future for us. She has so much going on in her life, so many problems, so many things she’s struggling with, and she doesn’t want to burden me with any of it. And me? Despite loving her with every fucking piece of my heart, I refuse to pressure her or make her feel like she has to change her mind for my sake.

I love her more than words could ever explain. More than I probably should. And God, if you knew how badly I wanted to fight for us, to hold her close and tell her that we could get through anything together, that she didn’t have to face the world alone... you’d understand.

Because the truth is, I want to. I want to fight for her. I want to tell her that I don’t care how complicated things get, that I’d rather face a thousand storms by her side than stand in the sunshine without her.

But I also understand that love isn’t supposed to be a cage. It’s not supposed to be something you have to beg someone to stay for. And no matter how desperately I want her to choose me, I can’t force her heart to choose a future she no longer believes in.

So I’m letting her go.

Or at least, I’m trying to.

I told her that I’ll always be here if she ever changes her mind, if circumstances change, or if life somehow brings us back to each other. I meant every word. Because some people leave a mark on your soul that time, distance, and even goodbye can’t erase.

And maybe that’s the cruelest part of all. Knowing that you would still choose the same person, even when they’re no longer choosing you.

I’ve let go. Not completely. Not yet. Not today. Maybe not for a long time. There are still pieces of me holding on, still a part of my heart quietly hoping that this isn’t really the end, that somehow, somewhere down the road, life might give us another chance.

But there’s something strangely beautiful about this moment, too.

Amid all the sadness, beneath all the heartbreak, I feel this unexpected sense of peace. A strange kind of freedom. As if, for the first time in a long time, I can finally breathe again. Not because I stopped loving her, but because I’ve stopped trying to control something that was never mine to control.

And that feeling is so fucking bittersweet.

I’m grieving the future I imagined with her. The little things that will never happen. The conversations we’ll never have. The memories we’ll never get to make. All those ordinary, beautiful moments I once thought were waiting for us somewhere in the future.

It hurts to know that a future can die before it ever gets the chance to exist.

It hurts to put an end to something when your heart is still whispering, "but what if?"

And yet, somewhere deep inside, hope refuses to die. Maybe it’s foolish. Maybe it’s just my heart refusing to accept what my mind already understands. Or maybe some part of me will always believe that life has a strange way of bringing people back together when the time is right.

I don’t know.

All I know is that I love her. I still do. And even if our story ends here, I will never regret having loved her the way I did.

Because if loving her means I have to step aside and let her find her own way, then that’s what I’ll do. Even if a part of me wishes she would turn around. Even if I’m secretly hoping she’ll one day realize that she never had to carry everything alone.

For now, I’ll keep walking.

With a broken heart, a thousand unspoken words, and a little bit of hope I’m not quite ready to bury.

And maybe, one day, I’ll look back at all of this and understand why it had to happen this way.

But today?

Today, it just hurts.

And life...

Fuck, life. You really do have a twisted sense of humor.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to continue daily life. I feel physically ill. My chest, neck, head and my whole body hurts. I feel a constant nausea and fatigue.

I don’t know how to accept that I’ve lost what I thought was the great love of my little life. How am I supposed to accept that and live a normal life. The depression is taking over me completely. I can’t see myself without him.

Adding to that I’m 31, not early 20’s (no offence), but something about losing someone in this age feels different than before. It hit way harder.

Anyone else going through the same? Anyone with some positive stories of how to survive a heartbreak?

I (22F) was introduced through a mutual friend this really nice guy (25M) 3 months ago. There was pressure on relationship to workout but I actually really liked him and we got along so well.

We met each others moms, he gave me a key to his place, we went to Florida together, everything finally like it was making sense. This past week we experienced our first uncomfortable conversations and he thought that was a good reason to break up with me.

I deep down to my core believed that he was someone that I was going to experience the rest of my life with, but he ended things with me because he thought we caused each other "too much stress" when in the true reality he just wasn't communicating his feelings and needs in the relationship.

I do not plan on going back and trying to rekindle things because he made the choice to come to my apartment, sit down, and tell me that he didn't want a relationship with me.

But it's just so interesting to me how someone could do so many romantic things with me to up and at em when the relationship gets real.

My wife struggles with depression and anxiety, she kept so much pain and worries from me that built up and finally exploded one day where she said this to me. I'm a 25 year old male who rarely cries or even becomes sad, but everyday as of late has felt like a gut wrenching twist on my heart and insides. She agreed we could try working past things, but those words echo in my head and bones and everyday seems pointless now. I'm going to try and continue to love her, but the anguish is just overtaking my soul. I hope no one ever feels this hell. I also hope to just find people to talk about it with.

Recently, I started dating this electrical engineer from USYD who I met through friends of friends. We both have similar interests as I study comp sci so we were able to hit it off and talk about interesting topics such as the Fast Fourier transform

Eventually, one thing lead to another and we planned a date together fishing. It was a great moment, we both had great deep conversations and he asked me if we want to start to label it as girlfriend / boyfriend. I said yes as I wanted to give him a chance and I was beginning to feel it.

This is when the situation goes south as he immediately started doing star jumps yelling "yipee" and told me he is so happy as he had a half-chubb the whole time. I was immediately taken aback as this was a massive change in personality and I was immediately creeped out. He then started talking about how the Australian constitution gave him the right to goon and out of respect he goons to it every night before he sleeps. He even offered to show me the flag he uses to polish his meat crayon. Needless to say, I immediately ran off from this creep.

I broke it off after I got home and he bombarded me saying he was confused as to what he had done wrong. I am pretty speechless as I think it is pretty obvious he as to what he done wrong but he seems genuinely confused. He said he was just paying respect to his nation. I am so confused as to how to break it up with this man as he seems to have polished his meat crayon a bit too much ..

We were together for two years and we broke up two months ago really just right person wrong time. Our lives are going different ways as I’m going to college in a year. And he is going forward with professional hockey. He texted me today that his grandpa was not gonna make it through the night and then texted me again that his grandpa passed away and I don’t know what to do at all I texted his mom and told her to let me know if they needed anything, but I don’t really know what to do in this situation because I was really close with their family
And I’m feeling it too

I have been crying .. any advice ?

I should be studying for exams but I feel sad. What do I do?

We just officially ended today

we met in middle of may and what followed was probably my happiest summer ever. i loved the version of myself i was with him and rediscovered parts of myself i forgot even existed. it was also the first time i experienced love being reciprocated in the exact some amount and intensity.

i knew his last relationship ended very badly and that it took him months to get over it, and that occasionally he still thought about him. and it took him time to feel like he's able to get into another relationship. but one day he promised me he was sure about us, that he was ready, and i know at the time it was true.

a few weeks ago the past came back to him though, and this time it stayed much longer, way too long to be manageable.
as a result he became distant and he realized he wasn't able to give me what he normally can to a partner.
yesterday we sat down to talk about it and broke up. in a way it was a relief for me as well, because i could feel the emotional distance growing between us the past two weeks and it was unbearable, and part of me knew this was the only way.
but now it felt like i was grieving the person sitting right in front of me. my brain couldnt understand why i can't touch him like usual, why i can't kiss him, how could his feelings for me be so quickly overpowered by somebody who hurt him so much.

and i can think 'oh what could have i done better' or 'why wasnt i enough' but i know there's nothing i could have done differently. and of course i asked him if there was something but he said it's just this and somehow that hurts even more. it's really nobody's fault and we are both hurting so much in our own ways. i could hate him or hate his ex but there really is no use and i don't want to feel anger towards him. and i know that if I knew it would end like this, i would do it anyway.

i don't want to lose him as a person but i know i have to go no contact with him to get over it. but i don't even know what im supposed to get over. a part of me wishes I could wait for him until, if, he heals, and then we could revisit our relationship. i told him this and he said he can't (obviously) promise me anything and he doesn't deserve for me to wait for him. but it's just so hard to let go of something that was only ever beautiful and with so much more left to explore.

I (27F) used to be passionate about my taste in music and i mean PASSIONATE. My taste is the best taste imo and i was very proud of my collection and finding new music for me and my friends. Then she happened.

I had a relationship about 6 months and we broke up because she moved. Happiest I'd ever been. Never been so heart broken.

There have been other relationships but none like it. its like my passion for its gone. To this day i can't listen to music much. At first it hurt and now it usually is just something i avoid because it might hurt.

Late 2023 to today and i haven't changed my playlist. i used to change it quarterly and now it makes me sick to my stomach when i try to find new music.

No real solution probably. I'm just sad i lost more than one safe place that day. Wondering if anyone else had such a long hiatus after a break up or if it might be gone forever.

My girlfriend broke up with me last Sunday after almost 3 years together. She was my first girlfriend and we genuinely planned a future together, marriage, kids, our own home, everything. We had a lot of good memories but also recurring problems. I was often defensive during arguments, struggled to communicate, didn’t always keep my promises and sometimes neglected her emotionally. She felt like she’d been compromising too much. The final straw was when she went through my phone and found some old sexually suggestive Instagram reels I’d exchanged with a male friend. I never physically cheated on her, but she said she considered it a form of cheating, and it made her question my loyalty and fear that I might cheat someday. She broke up with me that night and was very firm about it.

On Thursday, 4 days after the breakup, we met because I wanted to apologize properly and have one last conversation. For context, a couple of days ago before the meet up when I first asked her to talk for the last time, she said no. After some convincing she agreed. For our last conversation, I also brought her a handwritten letter. We talked about everything, our mistakes, our relationship, our memories and how we both felt. I told her I’d started therapy and was working on myself, and that I still loved her and wanted to try again. She was surprisingly warm throughout parts of the conversation, we even laughed and joked about old memories. But when I asked whether she’d consider getting back together, she firmly said no, under any circumstances right now. She said her trust was broken and she couldn’t imagine being physically intimate with me again. She also wanted to prioritize herself for once. We walked back home together afterward, talked normally, and hugged twice before saying goodbye. She started crying during our final goodbye when I handed her the letter, which honestly destroyed me. She thanked me for meeting because apparently she needed that closure too. And was sorry for how abrupt things ended because she wasn’t in the right headspace in the moment and was stubborn when she said she didn’t wanna meet up.

Later that evening, after reading my letter, she sent me a long, incredibly heartfelt message. She thanked me for our relationship, said I was the closest person she’d ever had and apologized for her own mistakes too. She literally wrote “I love you too” and said I’d always have a special place in her heart. She also said maybe someday we’d meet again as different, more mature people and see each other differently, but explicitly told me not to wait for her or count on it. We didn’t block each other, and she even said I could text her if I was feeling really sad. I’m honestly confused because I know she still loves me, but she’s also standing firmly by her decision.

I’m also dead serious about changing this time. She always said I didn’t think enough about our future, so I’ve started planning my finances, researching better-paying jobs and figuring out what skills I need. I’ve cut contact with the friend who sent me those Instagram reels despite knowing I had a girlfriend, and I’m willing to distance myself from another friend who thinks cheating with prostitutes is acceptable. I’m also committed to quitting drinking and smoking, which she’d asked me to do before, and I’ve started therapy to work on my communication and behavior. I know a few days of effort don’t prove anything, but I’m finally taking real steps instead of making promises. I want to become a better man regardless of whether she comes back.

I know I fucked up in many ways and I’m not expecting her to magically forgive me. I’m going to therapy, working on my issues and trying to become a better person regardless of what happens. But I still want her back and don’t want to give up on us so easily. My friends and sister think I should give her some space for a few days and then gradually try reconnecting, maybe through a casual message first and eventually small gestures if she’s receptive. I’m considering texting her soon, but I’m scared of pushing her away. They truly understand how special she was and think that nothing is lost yet, so I have to fight for our relationship. To let her know that I still care about her and not be too late if she moves on. I know I didn’t change while in the relationship when I should have, but I get it this time and will truly become better. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Is there any point in trying to rebuild the connection when she still has feelings but says no to reconciliation, or should I leave her alone and let her come to me if she ever changes her mind?

We were together for five years. About two weeks ago she ended things. She said she wanted to enjoy her senior year, live her life, and hang out with friends without worrying or stressing about me.
I'll be honest: I wasn't perfect. I was a little controlling at times. When she got to college and wanted to go to bars, I couldn't understand why she'd want to do that while having a boyfriend. That caused a lot of fights, and eventually it ended with her basically saying she was going to live and do whatever she wanted. Looking back, I can see how that pushed her away, even if I didn't see it then.
She hasn't given me any real closure. She won't even get on a phone call, because she says she'd "give in" if she did. That part is messing with my head the most. If she'd give in, doesn't that mean part of her still wants this?
Meanwhile she's been going to bars, and last night she went to a frat party. In five years together that was never really her. I keep checking her socials and her location. Last night I couldn't stop, and I didn't sleep at all.
I also feel like she's talking crap about me to her friends. One of her friends followed me on Instagram yesterday, then unfollowed me last night while they were at the party. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it felt like they were all talking about me, and it made me feel even worse.
I don't know what to do. Do I keep trying to get the conversation I feel like I deserve, give her space and hope she comes back, or cut contact so I can actually heal? Has anyone been through something like this after a long relationship? How did you stop obsessing and get through it?

Last night I broke up with my (33f) partner (30m) of 8 years. I am beyond devastated. Please give me suggestions for books to read, music to listen to and films/TV shows that maybe helped you. Nothing too sad I need to stop myself crying. 💛