This is my story to tell

Its a story about how my ex best friend abandoned and betrayed me and then painted everything as my fault painted me as the villain.

And how this has impacted my life since.

I will also go into my wrongs as well.

Im going to tell it in full from beginning to end.

Im moving and I want to leave this behind me leave it in the last place we had still been friends the last time we were together.

Moving is a fresh start for me.

Me and this person had been friends since 5th grade. The person I dated breifly in highschool and went to homecoming with.

19 years.

In 2021 I was homeless in a tent and he came to visit and we decided we would finally be intimate for the first time. We tried to go to the pleasures adult arcade but there were alot of creeps and no private spots so we rented a uhaul van and drove it up the the front trailer park we both grew up in and wrote over all the bad memories togeather...it was magical.

In 2022 he came to visit again he was usually coming to visit his mom he got a motel room downtown and again we shared intimate relations id never felt so beautiful and loved. Untill he was talking about Kate and how she was his # 1 because of how she fianchally supports him. I felt like chopped liver.

In 2023 he came out in March with his fiance.

He told me she was ok with him being intimate which I found odd because he had told me b4 they were in an open relationship but he coulden't sleep with anyone he knew or anyone more than once. But he told me it was ok so I went with it. His fiance had a panic attack.

He went back to her and later that night we all went to dinner and a movie. She was...closed off.

And he was nervous and walking on eggshells.

The next day she had gone through his phone and found his snap chat and everyone he was talking to. She made him call up every single one and tell them what a peice of shit he was...then I was called and told our fwb situation had to end and I agreed because our friendship was more important to me. At least this is what I was told I said. He messaged me later after that and told me he would have to close off his relationship untill further notic.

August 2023

He came out to visit again but this time he seemed different angry upset. He stayed with a woman friend he knew in a hotel I stayed up there with them. He disclosed that caitlin had been physically abusive twords him. He also gave me further notice. We were intimate once again we went to the club and we filmed a porno togeather he also pretended to be my finsub for pictures. Then when we got back down to the springs. He would be staying on my futon for a couple days untill he went home...he completely shut down at that point. He refused any more physical intimacy...i felt rejected and upset. I didnt want to take no for an answer. He was feeling guilty about his fiance. During that visit he also told me he wasent happy he stayed with Caitlin because he could not go back to his family a failure and she was supporting him fianchally I had also admitted I wasent happy...at one point i had said what if we had stayed together in highschool...he snapped at me "but thats not what happened"

He went home.

August 2024 his final visit.

His mother was going to need care for a month so his sister could go on a trip.

So he has planning to be out here for a month.

Then his mother took a turn for the worse

And he came out early.

The first night he told me caitlin begged him not to sleep with anyone while he was out here. Her not knowing there cleaning lady back home was his submissive. He made the desition he said were going to be intimate anyways. I was wrong but I went along with it because I knew how he could make me feel.

The following day he went to see his mom and she hemoraged from every orifice right in front of him.

I comforted him that night. That night I asked him if he would dominate me he said he could only dominate those he loves. So i asked him if he could show me what I should look for in a dom...he definitely showed me. The following day he bought shrooms and acid and dmt and we all tripped together.

He was on video call with his sub the whole time

We were intamate again for the last time...

The following day he shut himself off in my room and told me he no longer wished to be intimate. I was upset i felt rejected and abandoned again. I knew he would not be coming to visit again. He introduced me to fetlife.

That evening he wanted to go to pueblo to get weed he asked me to go with him to help him buy extra.

I was still upset but I said yes. I had decided it was time to end the situationship.

I wrote a long message on the way to pueblo.

Once we got back I went for a walk he read my message and replied " My love for you is non-situational and non-conditional I will always want to be your friend I'll always want to be in your life I'm sorry we cross the line but I don't regret it either I'm happy for every time we spend together and most of all I just feel awful for what I put you through

I'm so sorry "

Then he asked me to go to woodland park with him that evening so he coule get some things from his sisters.

On the way up there he told me his sub felt betrayed like he had cheated on her and how caitlin was his #1 and Stephanie was his #2 and how i would always be important to him but that if i ever wanted to end the friendship he would understand but it would hurt more than the death of his own mother....i still did not have a spot on his list of important people i was...an afterthought. I was a convenience. I was dam good pu**y and nothing more. Garbage to be thrown away when he was done with it.

He decided with caitlin he would get on an early flight home the next day.

He was panicking and feeling guilty and he said he would smash his phone or somthing.

I asked him what I should do if caitlin ever contacts me. He told me to do whatever I want.

He left and that was the last time i ever got to hug him.

November 4th 2024

I had just had my first real dom sub experience

And he calls me up panicked and put me on the spot telling me to tell caitlin everything.

I tell him im not doing this his way.

I took any power or control he had in this situation and said im going to do this my way.

I told him to have caitlin contact me and i would tell her everything.

She contacted me and i told her everything.

She was very upset she disclosed that they were never in an open relationship and he had been lying to me for 4 years. And that when they came to visit togeather was the one and only time she gave him permission.

She disclosed that he had sent intimate pictures of her to others without her knowledge or permission and that he had been doing coke.

That he has screwed Stephanie on her side of the bed in there home.

I was so angry... the last thing he ever said to me for over a year was im sorry im like this ill figure out my shit and deactivated his account.

I felt abandoned and thrown under the bus. I felt like all the accountability and responsibility for his actions was triangulated on to me... and well it was. I was informed by caitlin he had attempted slewerside. That i needed to wait untill he contacted me while he recovered...all of a sudden he needed to be protected.

I was so angry and upset and so it was turned around on me and made about my reactions instead of his actions and choices

6 months of waiting on my 30th birthday i send a letter to end the friendship and a box of momentos. I had hoped he would contact me he would fight for me...he did not he hid behind caitlin and i didnt know he had already blamed me for everything and turned me into his villan. May 5th I got a message from caitlin blaming me for everything. Saying he wasent who he wanted to be when he was around me she blamed me for his choices well both me and Stephanie. Saying the only reason he made those choices was because he was around us...he was no longer responsable for anything that happened he was being enabled.

And I felt destroyed...i felt like it was my fault I felt like his slewerside attempt was my fault.

I know now that it wasent.

I felt like id made the wrong desition.

I went through our old messags to process the loss and found something incredible.

In 2016 id told him about my grandfather's abuses

And this allowed me to reconnect with my family i was so greatful but I now felt 10x more horrible how could I end things with somone who had been there for me in my darkest times.

So I messaged him I wanted to fix things i wanted to repair he saw but never replied

He blocked me only on fb that year on his birthday.

I still had hope hope our connection was not lost.

So I started working on myself and writing a letter. I felt heartbroken like i was going crazy it all hurt so much I felt like i wanted to die. I wrote the letter I needed to write and hand deliver.

Which i did new years eve. I got on a plane from colorado to new Jersey and I hand delivered this letter... when i knocked on his door he came to the door saw me ducked and tried to hide he took forever to open the door i handed him the letter and i said happy new year and goodbye i went and i skated at central park and I did everything I could to release myself.

When I got home I hoped he would eventually contact me he did not I did an 8 hour cord cutting ritual and started seeking somone who would love me... and cherish me for me.

I found somone incredible and amazing but I still did not have any closure and i didnt know if i would ever get over it...get over how he treated me.

April 2026

I had looked at his tiktok a few times and he blocked me and this was the straw that broke the camels back for me I messaged him on my family Facebook I messaged him this

"Look I had no intention of ever contacting you again but if I can't even look through the windows you left open then close them all.

I miss you And I'm going to want to know how your doing in the only way I can. Ill want to rewatch old videos and see what yer reposting/interested in. And I have every right to want that. I'm not pushing to reconnect but if I can't even look then please just give me a clean break I beg of you the silence the ambiguity. I dont need clarity but I need certainty. I got on a plane and I delivered a letter I'm not even sure you read but it was important. Avoid me fine but at least do it cleanly. As many feelings as I have worked through and as much as I've grown its going to take me many more years to fully process everything that happened.

If yer gonna block my tiktok my main Facebook. Please block this Facebook please block my number. Block my twitter. Block my Spotify. While I'm not waiting for you. I still care so much and I either need someway to express that energy by seeing how you are. Be fair to me in this one way. I should at least be allowed to ask this of you.

I met someone amazing who made me realize you didn't treat me right. You never did and you were never fair. And that you choose to stay in your avoidant attachment style and you choose to stay silent you choose the easiest path of withdrawl you chose not to repair. you continue to choose this. These are all your choices I didn't get a real choice I didnt get an option.

You made a choice when you lied to me on Messenger after that brief five-minute call from both of you in early 2023. A call I barely remember. In that message, you said Caitlin knew about us. I assumed you meant since 2021. I had no idea that was the one and only time she gave you permission until she told me herself. I don’t even know if the things you told me when you visited later that year were true.

You said Caitlin had abused you physically and I believed you. I still hope it wasen't a manipulation. I chose to continue sleeping with you...because it’s what we both wanted. It was our mutual choice. It brought comfort to both of us. And you never owned up to that.

You made the choice to never speak to me again.

You will avoid me for the rest of your life I've accepted that you won't face me.

You're wrong and you know you're wrong and you may have grown in ways I'll never know. But you will never truly or fully grow untill you learn how to face your mistakes.

I would have done almost anything for you.

And I probably still would. But not if you message me. You will have to find me and show up at my door and be ready to have a real conversation. I won't accept anything less than the same efforts I've put forth. I know your capable of growth, great things, and great change. You are also capable of repair. And until you work on learning to face your guilt and shame and learn how to take accountability and how to repair.your not sorry and I don't consider you to have figured out yer shit. And your not sorry your like this. And you will only be able to distract and compartmentalize to get through each day for so long. I know yer mom didn't like me very much at first. I liked her she was a spunky lady but I'm sure she wouldn't be proud of how you handled this entire situation or how you treated somone who was your oldest friend. Somone who was your best friend.

Put all my @'s

Close all the windows if you don't want me looking through them its simple.

I know you will read this but I already know you wont respond and thats ok but I hope you will at least do what im asking. If you have ever cared about me youll do what I’m asking of you. I can't just block you because I’m not strong enough to keep you blocked."

Then he finally replied after a year and a half of silence this is what he said.

" Leave me alone you crazy bitch, you aren't owed a window into my life.

This distance gave me clarity, my silence, is my choice, as is mine to respond this one time.

You show up to my house in a funeral outfit in the middle of the night.

Me Caitlin and our new partner are happier than we ever have been.

The only point of contention is when people don't take no for an answer.

Do you remember when I told you I wanted this to stop right after my mother died.

You shut down, acted like a child, gloated about fetlife and snap chat all right next to Chris and I as we tried to relax and watch TV.

You neglected my personal space, I said no more, you couldn't take it.

I choose to cut off contact with people who care more about themselves than me in situations like these.

I care too much, Caitlin calls it my worst fault. So there's no doubt I understand the hurt I've caused, but you need to reevaluate your own standings.

Now kindly go live a fucking happy life, all the way over the fuck over there.

Ps I read your letter you delivered, I read everything. I was greatly disturbed and disappointed.

The pinned Facebook posts, the cord cutting ritual I ironically performed for our friendship months prior to your video Id done with Caitlin as support during.

I'm so tired of this, we were friends, it became toxic. Things end, so mote it be"

I finally got closure but it also felt like my heart broke all over again at least i had my answer.

He showed me who he really was....i want to clarify some things.

I showed up at 5pm in a goth outfit.

No way hes got a 3rd partner caitlin is way to insecure for that.

I ended our fwb situation not him. He never would have.

I did not "gloat" about snap and fetlife my husband said thia didn't happen and i may have been excited after he showed me snap and fet.

I still stand by my letter even if he didnt like what I had to say.

Hes pathetic.

I started writing music and I plan to release it in the next few years ive written 18 songs and done alot to move through this. I still miss him but i think I miss the version of him i thought he was the version I saw through rose colored glasses.

The verson he pretended to be.

Now ive grown and I still often wake up and think to myself "how could you".

But then I think of everything i have everything im so greatful for

A wonderful somtimes very stupid husband.

A loving caring Dom/boyfriend/best friend i can tell anything to.

A loving and supportive family.

Getting to see my dad once a week and play Magic with him.

Having my little brothers in my life.

Getting the wardrobe of my dreams.

Getting a super nice camera

I have come to terms with the fact that corey will never grow never reflect and never face acountability take responsibility and he will never apologize to me.

He owes me one but his ego and his pride and his avoidance will never let him.

He still looks at my social media even though he made it clear he didnt want me viewing his...People behave in the strangest of ways.

Michael corey elzey, the resin man coreylz@scififoundry.com , and scififoundry is a hypocrite. Hes not even worthy to wear the rings he makes hes no ring bearer he is weak willed a coward and a liar.

Caitlin Marie cook, i hope he was worth protecting and I hope she never laid her hands on him again. I never forgave and will never forgive her.

I feel alot better now. Im moving and our car is paid off there are still some bumps here and there to work out but Im strong and ready to take it all on ready to rise to the occasion.

He did not break me he killed an old version of me a weak verson of me a broken version of me he killed my naivety.

He did not break my ability to love.

He did not take my ability to trust again

He did not stop my want to be kind

He did not hurt my ability to view the world with wonder and joy.

He left a deep scar and its the only way I think about him now.

I know my anger is justified

Im angry that I humiliated and prostrated myself before him

Im angry he didnt even try

He didnt try to repair

He didnt try to apologize

Im angry he didnt care

Im angry that 19 years of friendship matterd so little to him

Im angry he messed up and didnt own it

That he hid and blamed everything on me and his other partners.

Im angry with him but I dont live in that anger.

I hope he drowns in his guilt and shame.

Im going to visualize this relationship as a grave i can visit occasionally. Not somthing i carry with me everywhere i go anymore. But it will be there so sometimes I can stop and leave flowers.