I (21 F) live with my parents (50M and 46F) and three siblings. Me and my little brother (20M) share a bathroom. I am very grateful that I can live with my parents since the price of houses are so high, it is impossible to buy a house or to rent a place.

I am also grateful that I have a bathroom which I don't have to share with everyone...

However, I am so deeply upset at the state of it.

Like I said, I share a bathroom with my little brother. My little brother is an absolute SLOB. Look, I do have some OCD-like quirks and I do become paranoid about germs... but I am not crazy!

This man does not wash his hands after he used the toilet. He never ever cleans the bathroom. The only reason the bathroom gets clean is because I do it. He doesn't even get new toilet rolls when we are out. If I don't grab a new bottle of shampoo he will not wash his hair... If I don't get new hand wash he in general won't wash his hands. He does not wear deodorant and does wear the same clothes for multiple days.

It drives me inside. I literally don't even want him to bump into me because I am freaked out (I know that is dramatic and caused germaphobia... but it just feels uncomfortable to sit next to him.)

Today... I was just so upset. I have been studying for days because I had these exams. Today I was exhausted so I was already at my limit. I went to the bathroom, right after my little brother went (which was right before dinner mind you). He didn't wash his hands... ON TOP OF THAT he peed OVER the toilet. Then later he unloaded the dishes...

I was just so upset and freaked out by it.

I am so sick of being in a space with those kinds of things. This is our SHARED space! I don't care what he does in his room, I just want him to keep it clean. This is where I want to clean myself, but every time I step inside I feel like I am more dirty than before... Sometimes he doesn't even clean the tub and I see PUBIC HAIR!! Even just seeing his toothbrush makes me uncomfortable because it is literally has brown crusty bits...

Today I just couldn't handle it. I am holding it in but it hurts a lot. I feel like I am absolutely spiralling and now I feel the need to clean the entire bathroom while I am actually too tired to do so.

I have asked him multiple times to clean up after himself but he gets angry at me. On top of that when I do ask him to please clean the bathroom and that I think we should share the responsibility of the bathroom he says 'well you never tell me when it needs cleaning'... So basically in his eyes it is my fault that he does not clean...

At this point (as irrational as it is) I just want to lock him out of the bathroom...

Of course I won't literally do it, but I really wish that I would stop being so upset, and on top of that I wish that he would learn some basic hygiene (cuz I mean... washing your hands should be the bare minimum).

I am not his parent... and quite frankly I also feel quite uncomfortable to discuss bodily hygiene with my brother... Especially considering the pubic hair and such... I really wish my parents would say more about it, but my dad mostly laughs at my brother's 'stupid attitude towards cleaning the bathroom'. I feel very invalidated.

Hello,

I’m a 22 year old male. I currently started see this girl and I really like her and can see her being my wife.

My parents have a ok marriage, they don’t go on dates. My dad goes to work and comes home, and my mom does a good amount of errands for my dad during the day.

Recently I feel like all I hear or see are cheating stories. I don’t want to grow up to be one of those family’s but I feel like that all i see and I always think what if I slip up like that one. Which I never want to be that terrible of a person. I think cheating is selfish and means u don’t love your kids.

Dads that are faithful could you tell me what keeps you madly in love and what your thoughts are?

Dads that have cheated what was your reasoning and do you regret it ?

I’m 16 (female), my mom is 50, and I have a little brother who’s 10.

This past year, my dad (42) was in India from late January until September. In February, shortly after he left, he went to help my grandfather because he was diagnosed with colon cancer. (He’s not a good person, he’s tried to off me and my mom multiple times.)

My mom and I found out my dad cheated on her. This was a huge deal because my parents always had a picture-perfect relationship. To me, my father was genuinely the perfect man, I always believed he loved our family more than anything.

I’ve always loved my father, but my mom’s been in India since August 10th. For about a month, I was alone in Canada. Me and my dad fought two days ago, and he admitted that he hates me, that I ruined his life, and that in three years, he’s going to sell our house and business and leave my mom. (My mom’s name isn’t on any of it.) He also bought a house and car in India, and my mom’s name isn’t on those either.

I’ve always struggled with depression, extremely so since I was around 8 (for reasons that don’t matter here). I don’t have the mental capacity to take care of my little brother and mom, but I want them to have a good life and send my brother to a good school.

I’m planning to join the CAF (Canadian Armed Forces) because I’m a Canadian citizen and don’t have another career path. I’d really appreciate any advice on how to “adult” because I’m very sheltered. I also need financial advice, LITERALLY ANYTHING because I’m running out of time.

I can’t live with the guilt of failing them. I’m completely clueless about how to exist. I’ve never been on public transport. I don’t know how to manage money. I’ve never had a job. I’m scared to fail my mom and brother. I want to give my brother everything my dad didn’t give me, and I want my mom to relax yk, have time for herself.

I’m willing to spend my life catering to them. I just don’t know how or where to start. I already feel so far behind.

I wonder if anyone who had a father who they loved and felt loved by could tell me what that is / was like? I am 44 and I am in my second what I might call emotionally abusive relationship and I am now looking back and exploring my relationship with my dad to see if I could identify patterns. The problem is I don't remember him or much. He was there, but I was scared of his moods. I have lived with this as normal. He didn't drink or do drugs and set us up financially so this seemed... normal. People who felt loved by your dads, what are some of your experiences? I guess I am trying to understand a different idea of what normal might be. Thank you kindly.

Hi I’m 22f and any advice would help. I really want to get out of the city I’ve been in all my life, I really just want a change of scenery. But the problem is I get so so home sick. I mean ofc it’s bound to happen at some point, but I feel like I get more home sick than the average person. Whenever I go on roadtrips after day 2 I’m ready to go to home and be in my bed. Being so far from home just sounds like a lot but I just hate the city I live in rn and honestly just want a break from my family every here and there. Obvi there’s a chance I might regret it too and honestly I’m scared that would be the case. Making such a big change just to end up regretting it.

Any advice??? What to do??

So to start the story, my dad is often cruel and says horrible things to me. Sometimes he apologises but 8/10 times he doesn’t, and usually I brush the meanness off. However, recently he’s been treating me like crap, or a coworker of some sort; rather than a daughter. He repeatedly tells me I’m doing nothing with my life (I’m a uni student who is also working nearly full time) I’m apparently lazy and do nothing for myself, pathetic, stupid. (The list goes on I just can’t write it without tearing up and would prefer not to)

I got really angry with him the other day after he had told me I had changed as a daughter and that my ways of life are now ruining our relationship. I’ve just turned 19 and I’ve discovered the joy of going out partying and seeing my friends. He repeatedly started to shout at me and tell me I was a piece of crap and that he hates me and who I’ve become, and then proceeded to say I need to start acting like my age and a daughter. Regretfully now, but in the spur of the moment, I said “Maybe you need to act like a dad then instead of treating me like this”. Since then, he hasn’t spoken to me whatsoever. I was going to apologise yesterday morning, until I heard him talking to my mum about something along the lines of Christmas gifts, he then said “For Christmas all I want is a new daughter” I have not spoken to him since then, but can’t seem to get the guilt off of my chest. I know what I said was wrong and hurtful, but he only seems to be making the situation worse. I want to go back to normal but I have no idea how to since he’s being so hostile and I can’t even approach without him acting as if I don’t exist.

What do I do?

I have dreams about moving to the UK and I thought getting a job that would pay enough would help me go there faster so I get into an exam called KPSS basically if you ace it then you can have a job in government like a librarian I was going to save up some money for it if I could win. But I probably couldn't and now I just feel really overwhelmed and have even less motivation for studying for national university enterance exam (it's called YKS) that I was working toward all along.

I work all the time as I need to for YKS I don't even have a weekends I rarely go outside. I go to cram school plus my school and I had such a big ambitions and dreams like becaming a lawyer and going abroad (didn't even win college yet Im in highschool) but I start to feel like my dreams are just so out of touch with reality and I am just a fool who will not win anything and is no good for nothing

I just feel like I was never able to connect with my dad. Growing up our interests were so different and so were our personalities. My dad was very social and confident but I was much more reserved and anxious. The only thing that I felt kept us talking was if I had a girl in my life or was interested in one but then I came out and he even stopped talking to me about relationships. Part of me feels guilt that I didn’t somehow try as hard as my other siblings to connect with him. I’m not sure if anyone has an answer for this but I’ll be glad to hear if anyone has ever gone through something similar whether it be in my position or my dad’s. Thanks for taking the time to read this and have a good rest of your day.

I posted this in another thread too.

So, about two years ago me and my dad started fighting. He would make fun of my weight, call me fat, he would tell my mom how all I ask for is McDonald’s which is not true. He would start yelling at me if I made a simple mistake. He’s a compulsive liar and I would say a narcissist. It put me mentally in a bad place. I was struggling myself with mental health (which he doesn’t believe in, saying those people are weak. He also doesn’t believe in postpartum depression). I was struggling with school, not grade wise but just having no motivation to take care of myself. I was really suicidal. I moved to my mom’s and took care of my mental health. When I first said that he screamed in my face, saying im ungrateful and how he’s done everything for me. Then when I was living at my mom’s my grandma passed away and she was the one person I trusted (besides my mom) and I kinda lost that safe person. I found out he shit talked me, to my brother and my grandma. Saying I’m lazy and I don’t want to do anything with him anymore. I tried to text him, I would send these paragraphs of how I felt to him and he would either ignore them or say he would read them later but never did. It came to a point where I gave up. About a year later I moved back in with him. My mental health better in control. I got diagnosed with autism and he told me that he didn’t believe me. I struggled with self harm too. He now randomly points it out in public areas. The one time at a zoo. I still try to have some connection with him, he can be fun. But I ask to hang out and he doesn’t have time. When I stoped asking he said for me to come out with him late, to work on his truck and i would be to tired. He gets mad at that as well. So it comes to today, where I might have a grudge against him, or I guess a shorter fuse. He tells me to get up and wait for the groceries to get to the house because they are coming soon. So I get ready and make plans for two hours later to hang with my cousin. Well two hours pass and I call him and he goes the grocery are coming around 1 to 3. Which is 2 hours later than when he said they are coming soon. I get annoyed and call him and he starts yelling at me saying all I do is yell at him. I kinda just shut down and I argue back. It happens a lot. I feel if he does something I tend to just snap and I think it’s because of how he treated me before. Well tonight we are all hanging out and my brother just says you treat him like shit. And it kinda struck me hard because I don’t want to be a bad daughter. I don’t want to be an asshole, but I guess I have this forever hurt in me from how he treated me. My mom left him because he was mentally abusive and he did treat me like shit, but now I just feel like the world’s most shitty daughter and that I’m turning into him. I need an outsider’s perspective but I just don’t know how to think anymore.

Hi just came on here to say I’m having like a weird few months well weird year turning 20 soon. I just feel like everything is passing around me and I’m just there it’s a weird filling I’ve no fulfilment in my weeks. idk if it’s normal when your that age any you guys experienced this, I would also call myself different as I don’t like to participate in the activities of this generation, thanks

I'm 19M. Yesterday, I found out about my dad's affair, and honestly, I'm feeling disgusted.

Around 12 years ago, my dad met a Muslim woman and fell in love with her, even though he was already married to my mom. That woman is also married now. Apparently, they never actually met in person because she lives in another city, but they used to talk a lot, and he's still in touch with her. They video call once every few weeks.

My mom knows about this, but she's quite naive and comes from a small village, so I feel like she might not fully understand the situation or know how to deal with it.

Honestly, I feel disgusted by my dad's behaviour. I've always considered myself a man with self-respect, and it's difficult for me to look at him the same way after finding this out.

I've been ignoring him since yesterday, but at the same time, he's still my dad. I don't know what to do. Should I distance myself from him, or am I overreacting by thinking about cutting ties with him completely?

I'm leaving for college next year, and I've already started thinking about how I'll take care of my mom if things ever go south in the future. Obviously, that's a worst-case scenario, but I want to be prepared.

For context, my dad is a hardworking man, but when it comes to women, he has a serious problem with his behaviour.

I'm genuinely confused about how to handle this situation. I don't want to make a decision out of anger that I'll regret later, but I also don't want to pretend that everything is fine.

Has anyone been through something similar? I'd really appreciate some honest advice on how to deal with this.

THIS IS A QUESTION FOR ALL THE DADS, GIRL DADS, OR TO-BE-DADS.

I'm genuinely curious. It's somewhat personal too. Please be honest. There's no wrong or right to this question (imo). Why do dad's (some/most) treat their daughters different than their sons? Coz I've come across a lot of girls/women who said their parents, especially their dads, treated them differently than their brothers.

Hi everyone, I’m a 22-year-old male looking for advice on how to emotionally process my family history and avoid carrying generational trauma into my future.

Here is the situation:

• My Dad: Growing up, my dad was largely absent. Before high school, I found out he had a traditional first wife and 3 kids with her, while my mom was his second wife (also 3 kids with her, making me the eldest in my branch). Over time, his visits dropped from months apart, to days, to years. I haven't seen him in 5 years. He provides financially (pays my tuition and allowance), but puts in zero emotional effort as a father.
• My Mom: My mom refuses to talk about their past or why things ended up this way, always telling me to "ask my dad." A few years ago, I discovered texts showing my mom was sleeping with/dating other men around our home. When I confronted her back then, she cried (I think out of fear I’d tell my dad, which I never did). Since then, I’ve seen more evidence of her active sexual/dating life.

Where I'm struggling:

1. Navigating my relationship with my mom: It’s hard for me to see her clearly without judgment or disgust, especially given the secrecy and her bringing these things around our home. How do I accept her as a flawed human being without letting her actions affect how I view women or family?
2. Dealing with my dad’s absence: He fulfills the bare minimum financial obligations, but emotionally, he isn't there. How do I process this emotional abandonment?
3. Breaking generational cycles: Deep down, I know there are a lot of hidden family secrets and unhealthy patterns. I want to succeed in life, have a healthy relationship one day, and not repeat my parents' mistakes, but I feel weighed down by this hidden trauma.

How do I start healing, forgiving (or accepting), and separating my future from my parents' past? Any advice from people who went through similar family dynamics would mean a lot

Is it weird to tell your dad that you love him?

Most of my conversations with my dad revolved around money, i would only contact him when I need something. Him and i just don't share a good father-daughter relationship.

He never told me that he loves me, or even hugged me ever as far as I can remember.

He pointed out that whenever I call, I just ask for something/money. So two days ago, I decided to call him not to ask for anything but to let him know that I love him. He kinda laughed a bit, said thank you but then I told him that he should rather say I love you too. So he did. For the first time in my life, I told him that.

I called him yesterday too. To tell him the same. I texted him this too 3-4 times (yesterday) with hell lot of emojis. He didn't respond, left me on seen. So i whined to my mother that he doesn't love me and that he left me on seen and that he loves my younger sister more.

So she told me that it's inappropriate to tell your dad 'I love you' everyday. Because I am 20 (I turned 19 less than two months ago).

So i wonder if it is really inappropriate?

I’m 22f and knowing that I never had and will never have an active & supportive dad in my life rlly sucks and hurts. I’m older now to the point where I’m obviously more independent and I guess technically I don’t need a dad anymore at this age???

But I honestly just feel sad for younger me that had to go thru life without a supportive and kind father thru out major life events. I remember younger me always being sad from seeing all the girls that did have supportive and kind fathers and wondering why my dad couldn’t at least try to show he cared. Life would’ve been so much easier that way. Even now going to my friend’s house to see that they have inside jokes with their dads honestly just shocks me. I feel like I’ve been hiding under a rock my whole life when I see these interactions because it’s just so bizarre to me. When I see these interactions in my head I’m just thinking “wow there are kind fathers out there?????”

Maybe I’m asking for too much considering some circumstances?? Idk. I guess I’m just looking for any comforting words anyone may have. How to get past this. How can I just become my own dad atp lol???

Hey everyone,

I know it sounds stupid and probably pathetic. But I have never heard these words in my life. In fact I have heard words opposite to this my entire life. After hearing harsh language in school and home. It really does take a toll on me. I don't have anyone to tell my problems to. My mind started circulating the same harsh negative words to myself 24/7.

In fact I have spiraled downward quite a lot into some habits which i really hate. Crying isn't helping anymore. I hate myself now and wish myself the worst every morning. I feel very weirded out if I get a compliment and think they are faking it. I criticize myself all the time. Truthfully i started to slightly harm myself sometimes now. I have no energy to do my work. Study, workout train, learn or enjoy life. I hate everything around me. I find myself disgusting and bland and now feel I deserve to be called a failure.

Can you guys please motivate me or tell me something positive. I know people might not actually mean it and I know it won't really help me much, but it will help me smile for sometime. Any motivational or positive thing would be good.

Thanks