Genuinely anything will set me off. Especially my mom. Her behavior is ragebait and is probably the reason why I have that much anger in me. I have no self control/ barley any self control in me left. Anytime she does something i end up screaming at her. I don‘t want to be like that but i really dont know how to change.

I hate my father more than anyone in this world. Whenever he appears in front of me, an automatic anger and hatred burns in me. I hate almost everything about him, from the way he looks to the way of his thinking.

It’s not that I have ever been beaten by him or been caused any harm, he is a completely opposite person from me. He has mentally tortured my brain through his thoughts, the way he speaks, his opinions, his body language. I literally hate him this much that I have told him I’m not ever going to any trips or any foreign country if he’s also coming. I also try to avoid going out with him as much as possible.

As far as I think, he also doesn’t have any common sense, sometimes he started speaking super loudly outside in Mall, it has happened many times and once I also started shouting at him. He also disrespects food delivery partners and poor people, he talks rudely with them without any respect. He is a cheap person.

And I’m a completely different person, I’m an Introvert and I like to talk to people with respect unlike him.

It’s just I hate him and want him to get lost somewhere

i grew up in a family with an abusive mother. me, my brother, my father all went through her abuse and because of my disability, i still live with my father. i plan to move out eventually but its just taking a lot more time than i would like, and you know how housing prices are right now. its just i am so sick of living with two traumatised people who always blame my reaction when im upset. my mother would shout, hit, pull hair, use me and my brother as her own personal therapists. but the problem is i get compared to her constantly for just feeling anger and it showing in my body. i get called intimidating and aggressive when i am rightfully upset about something.

this morning i found out my dog had eaten a bunch of pumpkin seeds i saved from pumpkins i grew this year. it was something i really cared about, and after years of failed pumpkin plants and adjustments, i finally grew two pumpkins. i used them for cooking and saved the seeds, putting them on a towel on a plate on the counter where i thought the dog couldnt get them, and he got them anyway. when i found out i was furious, i frantically searched for them everywhere, and i was swearing and asking everyone questions to try and figure out what happened. the thing is i know there is nothing i can do in this situation. punishing the dog doesnt do anything, i cant blame my family and i cant blame myself either. i wasnt being angry in anyones direction, i was just angry and really, really upset. i felt powerless.

but immediately the focus was on how i was intimidating and threatening. there was no comfort for what i had just lost, there was no attempt at understanding, and this happens every single time. the focus is always on my reaction to the way im being treated or the bad thing that has happened to me, even when its my dad or brother who has actually done something to wrong me. my brother has upset outbursts all the time and no one bats an eye. i argued that with my dad and he said it wasnt okay either, but hes never once gotten onto my brother about it. i personally dont care so long as its not aimed at me or the others around me. i can understand his frustration sometimes, and as much as i get scared or upset about it, i also know thats a trauma response, and him being generally frustrated about dropping his food or accidentally breaking a plate means nothing about me. its just when i do anything along those lines, immediately im compared to my mother.

as much as i want to be able to manage my anger, and ive done a lot of work on that since cutting off my mother, i think theres a limit here. i dont want to get into the territory or just blindly being enraged, but i also know how unhealthy it can be to suppress all my anger like i have in the past. but i also dont see my anger from an outside perspective. i may not notice when im acting aggressive towards others. how much anger is reasonable to feel and express? what does healthy anger actually look like?

we are already almost 9 months together I can say that we really make each other happy but when misunderstandings and conflicts happen we are like enemies we curse and say worst things to each other he became physical on me before back when we are 4months together but he stopped it after I told him i will not settle for that, it will reach to the point I need to bring up breaking up with him to be able for him to calm down and he will beg me to give him more chance to change but it will happen again the next day or two and now i wanna break up because of it again, I am aware that i also said bad things and I know I have every right to be because of the things that he had done before and now he's begging not to and he's willing to get a therapist he's my weakness and i really love him too I gave him plenty of chance before and I said this will be the last one I am not a fool but I know that I also have problems myself and I struggle with ADHD and he is still having a hard time understanding my condition but I can see that he's willing, I hope that I can get some advice here on what steps can I do myself for us to get through this, thank you.

Had his funeral today took care of the service personaly livestream was my department now I sit alone and I want blood I want to kill and rip everon to shreds kill and kill and murder and in way I get I want to feel the blood on my hands I need revenge and the one thing I am afraid of is I know I can I know I'm well equipped and I am lost I whatnt revenge but I do not want to hurt anyone of my loved ones I had shitry month lost 2 of my best of freinds got into 2 crashes lost my job lost my money had issues with my family got kidney and liver issues couldn't attend one of the funerals its in Poland and I have no money so goddamn my life fuck everything I regret not ending my self maybe that would of stopped him

Is it bad that I wanna beat men up. I just want to hit them so bad. I don’t hate men. It’s just something I feel like I really need to do. I feel like they need to get beat up. Would I ever hit one? I’m not sure because I’m afraid they’ll hit me back. I’m just saying. Not in a mean way. How do I overcome this issue. Please help.

I’ve been struggling with severe anger issues for a while now. My anger can be extremely impulsive, explosive, and sometimes violent. It’s putting a serious strain on my relationship, and I’m concerned about how difficult it is for me to control my reactions in certain situations.
I recognize that I have a problem, but I don’t fully understand what’s causing it. I don’t know if there are underlying mental health issues, unresolved problems, or something else contributing to my behavior.

I genuinely want professional help. I want to understand why I react the way I do, learn how to regulate my emotions, and stop allowing my anger to negatively affect the people around me.
The problem is that my insurance doesn’t cover the care I need, and I simply can’t afford to pay out of pocket for therapy or psychiatric services.

So my question is, what options do people like me have? Are there free or affordable mental health resources, programs, or services available for someone in my situation?
Has anyone dealt with something similar and successfully gotten help without having much money? Where did you start?

I don't know but I find it so hard to not want to argue with people online especially reddit. I might just be taking out all of my anger on them.

People just say the stupidest things online or they think because they are online they can be overly entitled. So it makes me want to argue over dumb shit.

And then i realize I'm letting something so small fuel my anger for no reason.

Most of them are trolls anyway so I don't know why I let it get to me.

All my life my dad has been this way. He would yell, throw, and break things. Of course growing up with him I've gained the same horrible ways of expressing myself. Its terrible and I hate myself for it. Sometimes it feels like the only way to relieve my anger. I try to calm myself down, but all it does is make things worse. The act of trying to calm myself actively makes me angrier, and I'm worried. I'm angry all the time, I just try to bottle it up until it becomes too much. I have such a hatred for everything. I never asked to be born. I don't want to live in this world. I can't kill myself or it will hurt everyone I care about. I hate it. I feel trapped, like a caged animal.

I'm trying, but I don't know how to approach this. I'm really considering anger management. I don't want to be this way. I'm only twenty, I just want to fix this while I'm young, before I do something I truly regret.

I hate that I’m filled with so much anger but truth is I’m just hurt. My family is the biggest source of anger lots of unresolved trauma and things I won’t get into that in detail. But I just felt like they never listened to me, were the first to blame me for things and I was constantly pushed aside and my feelings were shut down. I’m filled with so much resentment and anytime i get triggered it’s usually only related to trauma it makes me yell and argue and I can’t control it.

recently i had an incredible experience working on a project with some very talented individuals. i feel like i was finally able to mask my lack of productivity and natural professionalism, and actually did a good job. my coworkers have been extremely positive and kind to me, complimenting me on all of my hard work.
today was the last day of our project. we had a party to celebrate at a restaurant. i got drunk there and when the place closed, all of the drunk coworkers walked to a bar nearby.
we were all having fun. playing music on the jukebox, buying drinks for each other. it was a nice night. until i saw this guy. this guy i know is a pedophile.
i see him often, but always from afar. he walks and bikes around my neighborhood and it makes me fucking furious. i see this guy walking out of the bathroom. just walking right by our table. i hadn’t seen him this close before, and i think i had always known what i was going to say to him when i got close enough:
“[full name], kill yourself, you fucking pedophile.”
he walked away, out of the bar.
it just came out of my mouth. and i realized i was standing up, yelling, and my coworkers were seated, asking me what i was doing and repeating “woah.”
one of my friends there agreed with what i was saying, but i immediately felt so much guilt and shame because of the others’ reactions.
it’s certainly not like i’d feel any better if they were all behind me like “yeah, kill yourself, haha!” i just feel disgusted that they had to witness that side of me.
if it was just him and i, i would’ve gone on happily, jeering at him until he was out of sight. but people who respect me learning how much hate i hold in my heart every day makes me want to die.
one of my most understanding coworkers told me that he thought what i did was likely due to unresolved trauma. this made me cry and decide to leave.
i came home and talked to my partner about this while i was drunk, crying over my shame, and when they didn’t say exactly what i wanted to hear, i started to argue with them, and tried to prove how much this made me feel suicidal. this made my partner feel like shit, obviously, and it’s all my fucking fault. now i feel like shit. i just want to die. i wish i was never born. at least now my future is empty.

P.S. i do not plan on harming myself.

I am struggling recently with anger while I’m in pain from my chronic issues with my back. My wife has noticed and mentioned it, I’m shorter with my kids, I don’t like it. I just don’t have the tolerance for children or loud bullshit when my neck and head feel like they’re being separated. I snap everytime. I hate myself for it.

Always had a rage problem especially when playing competitive games. Just this morning I was playing marvel rivals and I was on a heavy losing streak and i lost it, screaming and raging. I did it before but since noone approached me about it I assumed noone heard. I never really had instances of people coming to me about it so I always assumed they didn't hear, or they didn't care. Just this morning someone did, and banging on my door telling me to stfu, angry about it. First time this happened, I'm so embarrassed. I know I have an anger problem but it genuinely gets worse, the more I play something competitive, especially video games. If there is rank involved I get obsessed with it, and it makes me tilt and rage so much if I lose elo or if I derank.

I lose my shit when I hear anyone do that, just makes me want to rage

Asking for my sister. She knows her anger is a problem: small disagreements become long fights, and it's wearing down her marriage and family relationships. She's said she wants to change, but advice from family makes her defensive.

- What got you to actually try therapy?
- Did anything family said or did help, or make it worse?
- Did a particular type of therapy work for you?

I want to support her without pushing her away.

I’m looking for practical advice on dealing with impulsive anger that happens so quickly you react before you’ve had time to think. For example, snapping at someone, raising your voice or responding angrily before you’ve even consciously registered that you’re angry.
Most advice focuses on recognising the anger, taking a breath and choosing how to respond. But what can you do when the reaction happens before you have that opportunity? Can you train yourself to interrupt these automatic responses, or develop different reactions through repeated practice?
I’m looking for specific techniques, psychological research, books or personal experiences that address this particular problem, rather than general advice about mindfulness or taking deep breaths.

hi, ive been feeling really depressed for years now and ive finally decided to tell people about it ive tried telling my friends but its hard for me too so i never do but main reason im here im getting angry and more hurt my life is good and i dont know why this is happening i have a gf and i have alot of friends but recently my closet friend pointed out my mistakes and what i do wrong and how im a bad person basically he said the reason why you get bullied and had no friends is because you twist peoples words ragebait people on purpose and argue with people to make it so u always win i haven’t heard from him in around 3 months ive been taking alot of time trying to sort myself out ive been really sad and upset because i know hes right and im a fucking loser but thats not the point i was bullied throughout my childhood alot mainly my brother he pushed me down stairs tormented me restlessly and he laughed when bad things happened to me i shrugged it off EVERYTIME because i thought it was normal one day me and my brother were hanging out with a family friend that was younger than us and he started picking on him he encouraged me to join in so i did. It felt good made me feel strong but i knew it was wrong i understood why my brother did it to me i dont do it anymore but for some reason i do it to my friends and i dont know whats wrong with me throughout my childhood i was bullied and i came home crying it got to a point where i broke through my window from pure rage after my brother made fun of me just please anyone give me any advice i know im a loser and need help but im really trying to turn myself around and turn to jesus so please any advice helps.

I’ll keep going until when every time I get really angry to the point where I’m not myself. Instead of hitting my brother when I was little, I would hit my hand against the wall and break my hand instead of breaking his head. When my wife annoys me, I might smash the door, causing myself to hurt my foot instead of hurting her. I’ll keep going until when I feel out of control; I need to be the one in control. Even with anger that hasn't reached extremes towards anyone dear to me, whether they are younger or older, I still prefer to drink not just to get high, but to reach that feeling of being lost in hell itself. I know and I’m sure I’m wrong, but I’m tired of this and tired of hurting myself, and I want to find practical solutions or viewpoints to enlighten my mind.

Note: I don’t get angry every day; on the contrary, what I'm saying is rare throughout my life, but when rare moments happen, they become an explosion.

I am sleep deprived from my 2 month old so insisted that my husband puts my 3 year old to sleep on his own, my daughter cried and cried for me for straight 1 hour my husband was also enjoying his weekend with a drink today so he was already having lesser control on his emotions plus he was trying hard to put the screaming toddler to sleep with no rescue in sight my mother was just genuinely trying to help so she went in the room to see if she can help and my husband charged on her very aggressively saying she should let him handle this it will be messy once or twice but only then the toddler would know how much ever they try they need to understand when it’s only dad available then It really is just him..

Whatever the intention was I ended up waking up to his screaming loud voice and had to immediately intervene but I am so deeply hurt by his aggressive stance towards my mother who literally has left her personal life and is staying with us for past 3 years to help me with my kids.

Handling a toddler in general is very much testing your mettle and unfortunately husband already has so much aggressive behaviour I have learnt to look past it because of my live for him and there is always a reason when his aggression comes out but now with two kids his aggression is really started to scare me and I am worried for my kids I do not want them to be traumatised by their father. Please suggest genuine resources that me and my husband can use to handle this anger related aggression.

So I’m only 17 an have had it difficult, I moved out last year and have been working a steady full time job making 22hr an room for raises while still taking my ass to online school, I live in my car I turn 18 in may and have a savings ready for a deposit on an apartment an going to open credit cards to build credit with, why does all this make me so fucking mad, I very much believe that if I was pushed slightly the wrong way I would really hurt someone an it happened, I don’t regret it because I gave him plenty of warning to leave me alone and now isn’t the time
I like to think that all of it stimulates from me having to become independent an learn the world on my own last year along with having a very shit childhood trauma an untreated adhd (I was on meds for some time when I was younger last time I recall feeling normal) I can’t get any prescribed medication from a doctor as I’m not 18 an they need a legal parent or guardian the world will not let you live

It has gotten so bad to the point where I cannot leave the house and go out in public without my heart rate going up and my blood pressure going through the roof. People just make me so angry.

I lost my last job because I flew off the handle, and this is how most jobs end for me. It is becoming such a problem to the point where I'm having a hard time getting a new job because of my history.

I have such a hard time keeping it under control. I try taking deep breaths, counting to ten, that kind of stuff but it never works. I just fly off the handle anyways.

I also struggle with my own thoughts making me really angry, and I have a hard time filtering them out.

I feel like almost everyone in my life isn't taking it seriously enough when I reach out for help. They tell me to just grow up or quit acting like a baby. I'm trying so hard but I just can't make this go away

I've tried going to a therapist once and to me it felt no different than just talking to a friend, and it was costing me money. I don't know if maybe I was just seeing a bad therapist? Or if that is typically just how therapy is. If not I'd probably be willing to give therapy another shot.

I really hope this all makes sense to whoever reads this. I don't usually write. I just want to get out of the house and go live a normal life without anger taking complete control of me

So, I've had a pretty big anger problem with anger outbursts when I was in school. Either because I took my failure to do a task too personally, or because the teacher would go off on a political tangent, or just because I had underslept and every noise around me felt twice as annoying. In most cases I managed to endure it, but the few ones I didn't made me want for a better way out.

The common advice would be to take a step back and return with a clearer head. But at least where I studied, going in and out could only be done after raising your hand and getting a permission, and only one person at a time. So there would often be long moments of sitting there and waiting to be relieved, so as to not offend the teacher and potentially make the rest of my time with the subject much worse.

And although I am out of there now, I do still often find myself in situations where I am forced to sit and endure the growing stress. So, are there any good ways to handle such cases? Or is it just a matter of living through something shitty?

I was in a conversation with another redditor, who proceeded to psychoanalyze me and created a narrative of my life in their head which was completely incorrect. This pissed me off to hell and back, so I proceeded to make a fool out of myself insisting over and over again that they were wrong.

In reality, nothing I said could have changed their mind, because they had already decided they were correct. I should have ended the conversation as soon as I realized that, and moved on with my life. Instead, it festered in my mind and I kept embarrassing myself by rejoining the conversation.

Even now, even after a therapy session, I can’t get over the situation and it genuinely feels life-ruining. I don’t know why I’m so weak-minded and can’t move on from people stating things that are obviously false.

I’ve suspected it’s due to OCD, but I deleted my other account and r/OCD doesn’t let new accounts post.

Hey everyone. I am 'M23' and I’m posting because I genuinely want to hear from people who have struggled with similar issues and have made real progress.
I’ve been in a relationship with someone I love deeply, but I’ve developed unhealthy patterns that have hurt her and damaged our relationship. I struggle with insecurity, jealousy, fear of abandonment, overthinking, impatience, and anger. Sometimes, when I feel misunderstood, rejected, or afraid of losing her, I find it difficult to regulate my emotions. I can keep pushing a conversation because I want to be understood, even when my partner is already overwhelmed.
I’ve also crossed a serious line by becoming physically aggressive. Most recently, during an incident where she screamed near my ear and I felt sudden pain, I pushed her. I know that this is serious, and I don’t want to minimise it or use the circumstances as an excuse. Regardless of what triggered me, I am responsible for my behaviour.
We’ve now agreed to take a no-contact break and use this time properly instead of rushing back into the relationship like we did before. I’m also attending therapy and want to take this opportunity to work on myself, regardless of whether we eventually get back together.
My biggest fear is that even if we reconcile, I’ll repeat the same patterns and hurt her again. I don’t want to keep apologising, promising to change, and then falling back into the same behaviour. I want to make lasting changes, not just save my relationship.
I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have been through something similar:
Have you genuinely overcome anger issues, jealousy, insecurity, or fear of abandonment? What changed for you?
What do you actually do in the moment when you feel triggered, rejected, or overwhelmed, so you don’t react impulsively?
How did you learn to stop needing constant reassurance or feeling threatened when your partner wanted space?
Did therapy help you? If so, what approaches or exercises made the biggest difference?
If you previously yelled, acted controlling, or became physically aggressive, what concrete steps helped you stop that behaviour and ensure it didn’t happen again?
How long did it take before you noticed meaningful changes? What helped you stay accountable when progress was slow?
How did you learn to change for yourself rather than making your partner or the possibility of reconciliation your main motivation?
I’m not looking for ways to convince my girlfriend to come back or make her responsible for helping me change. I want to understand what genuine change looks like and learn from people who have done the work themselves.
I’m open to honest answers, including difficult ones. I’d rather hear what genuinely helped than receive empty reassurance.
Thank you to anyone who takes the time to share their experience. I really appreciate.

Recently, whenever I get a slight inconvenience I brust in anger, I've been having troubles at work and I can't stand my manager, there was one time I caught him gossiping about me with another colleague, I was a bout to act aggressively, Idk what is happening to me I've always had a bad temper but I was controlling it, now I lose it on slightest things, I've been in stress also for 3 months.