Hey everyone. In our year-long Vecna: Eve of Ruin campaign (2014 rules) I played a Hellspeaker Illrigger from level 5 to 16 as active representative and team's pocket expert on Baator. Narratively, I absolutely love the concept of an infernal smooth-talker, but gameplay-wise, it was an incredibly frustrating experience.
It felt like almost every subclass feature was either completely situational, actively anti-synergistic, or flat-out detrimental to my party.
Here is my breakdown of why it felt so bad, and I am genuinely asking: what did I miss? Is there a build or a playstyle that actually makes this subclass fun and effective somewhere other than an urban setting packed with NPCs??
Level 3 Features:
Moloch’s Blessing
+1 Social Skill Proficiency: Congratulations, now you can Persuade, Deceive, and Intimidate. Уou will never actually need all three. The only real value here is getting expertise, but the "Skill Expert" feat gives you exactly that along with a +1 stat increase. I see absolutely no reason not to just take Skill Expert for Deception if that's what you want to focus on.
+1 Language with Advantage on Social Checks: (3 languages at level 3, 4 at level 9). This is basically a "guess roulette" to predict which language you'll need next before long rest. As soon as your campaign moves away from a city full of diverse humanoids who are willing to talk all those languages rather than kill you on sight, this feature becomes almost useless.
Charm Enemy
Oh boy, here we go. Your core Illrigger seal additionally charms humanoids X times per long rest. This would be incredibly cool, IF we hadn’t encountered a grand total of maybe 15 humanoids across all 32 sessions. You can usually pass social encounters with regular skill checks anyway, without messing with an NPC's mind only to have them realize an hour later that they were charmed and get pissed off.
Furthermore, the subclass design actively pushes you to use this feature in combat:
"When you use this bonus action, you can additionally burn one or more seals on one or more other interdicted Humanoids within 30 feet of you, attempting to charm those targets as well. After taking damage from the burned seals, each of those targets must succeed on a Charisma saving throw or be under the same charmed effect."
And my question is: what is this even for? Sure, I get that it’s supposed to be a power move to avoid rolling initiative so three guards leave you alone. But those three guards have a very real chance of straight-up dying from your 2d6–3d6 seal damage since they only have about 11 HP.
And did I mention that charming an enemy in combat is completely useless unless you're a DM-controlled boss? For a player, it sounds cool: "Haha, you're charmed, you can't attack me!" But the enemy just says "Okay, whatever," walks right past you, and beats up your squishy teammate instead, who now takes all the damage for you.
Long story short: guess which feature I have NEVER used, even when I was completely out of resources and running on fumes and on 10 hp.
Invoke Hell: Honey-Sweet Blades
As a Hellspeaker, you really don't want to go crit-fishing, especially as a core feature. Congratulations, you just dealt 2d8 damage instead of 1d8 (in my case, it was actually 2d6 instead of 1d6 because my DM only gave me a +2 mace). Wow, rolling two ones instead of a single one on your damage dice – such a great use of an action AND a feature.
This feature only functions IF you happen to have some crazy high-impact weapon that does some massive "bada-bing, bada-boom" effect on a critical hit. By the way, we are going to talk a lot about "IF" when it comes to the Hellspeaker. I didn’t have a weapon like that (and honestly, the DM is under no obligation to hand out specific artifacts just to make your subclass work), so I completely forgot about this option around session 10 and never looked back.
Invoke Hell: Turncoat
Now, this actually looks like a decent button to press since it burns enemy reactions, BUT...
First of all, the enemies must either have ranged weapon attacks or be within 5 feet of each other. Spoiler alert: they are almost never standing within 5 feet of each other.
Secondly, you absolutely have to win initiative to drop this ability before enemies spend their reactions. I was a metagaming tryhard, that took the Alert feat, which put my initiative at 20+ in about 90% of encounters. But now imagine playing this subclass without the Alert feat...
Thirdly, those targets actually have to hit their attacks. It’s super cool IF all three of these "IFs" happen to align. In reality, I used this feature maybe 4 times across 32 sessions. It felt kinda cool exactly twice when things actually landed. I guess I can't call it a completely hopeless feature, considering it worked a whopping 4 times.
Levels 7, 13, and 18 Features
Red Cant (Level 7): THE ONE AND ONLY amazing, fully functional button this subclass has. As long as you have a seal available, your Deception checks will be so monstrously high that the poor NPC won't even know what hit them. 10/10, this is the only feature I am actually going to miss, really.
Slippery Ploy (Level 13): And we're back to completely underwhelming features. Great, so instead of hitting me, the enemy is going to attack our Warlock who has a 19 AC compared to my 21 AC. Fantastic. In theory, this could work, but ONLY IF you are the sole melee character in the party. Good luck being sole melee character in the party.
Incontrovertible (Level 18): I never actually made it to this level, but it gives enemies marked by your seals disadvantage on Wisdom and Charisma saving throws. Super cool, thanks, but I was already too tired of putting up with this subclass to even think about enduring it until level 18.
Level 11 Features
Intransigent. Absolutely amazing. BUT. This would have been so incredibly clutch IF we hadn't been targeted by a charm effect a grand total of exactly two times across 32 sessions. Man, this would have been so useful in Curse of Strahd... wait, that module ends around level 10 anyway. WHAT A SHAME.
Let’s Make a Deal
I mean... dynamic-wise, it's just glorified gambling. Rolling two natural 1s with advantage is still very much a thing under this feature (and yes, it absolutely happened to us). Honestly, you’d probably have to ask my teammates whether they actually liked it or hated it, but they did occasionally ask for it. So yeah, sure, whatever, have fun guys. As a player, I didn't get much enjoyment out of it. Most of the time, it felt like a filler feature you throw out just to clog your bonus action when you don’t want to spend your seals.
Me: "Hey, anyone want a deal?"
Party: "Uh... sure, I guess? Why not."
Level 15 Features
Quid Pro Quo
Now, this is something you can actually drop a massive bomb with. Using MCDM's Devil Jurist, I once literally wiped 72 skeletons off the board in a single turn because its recharge ability targets EVERY SINGLE creature within a 60-foot radius. The Horned Devil is also a cool unit, but it’s essentially just a glorified damage sponge to soak up hits before the banished target passes its saving throw.
It is honestly an incredible feature, but – and here we go again – ONLY IF your target is something like a skeleton with a -3 Charisma modifier that metaphysically cannot pass a Charisma save at this level, and ONLY IF you are facing a massive horde of low-HP minions. Plus, you still have to suffer through playing a Hellspeaker all the way to level 15 just to be able to drop this bomb exactly once per long rest.
Conclusion
To sum it up, the Hellspeaker feels either completely artifact-dependent or strictly a "just for the vibes" subclass. Unfortunately, our campaign wasn't about "just for the vibes."
The only thing this subclass can actually achieve is being a decent face of the party, provided you manage to pull off a language royal flush. But for that exact purpose, we already had a Warlock in our party with a +1 check item, all the same skill proficiencies, and the exact same 20 Charisma, whom I could just assist in social encounters anyway. Other than that, I honestly have no idea how anyone is supposed to play Hellspeaker. I originally joined the campaign thinking, "Haha, let's pick the weakest subclass for the memes," but I felt so completely useless that it almost drove me into a genuine depression (and yes, I’m a no-lifer whose life is currently 60% D&D, so it hit hard).
By the approaching end of the campaign, I felt like a character without a subclass. Recently, I finally switched my subclass to Shadowmaster, and a single session of playing it felt better than all 32 games on the Hellspeaker combined. I’m running around with 40ft of movement, 60ft of darkvision, rolling buckets of dice on attacks with advantage, rerolling 1s and 2s, and everything is completely FREE. I finally feel like [the storm that is approaching].
But I still look back at the Hellspeaker concept and wish it worked. For those of you who love mechanics and optimization: How do you actually save this subclass? Or is it truly just a "paper design" that fails in actual play?