I can’t do this.. I’m at an age in my 20s where I should be on my own.. but my mom makes it so hard every fucking time… she had me in her teens. She was also not raised in the best environment..it’s like she lacks a maternal instinct sometimes.

I live in a part of the city where you can’t walk and you have to drive. I don’t have a car. So I have to uber. And it’s expensive as fuck. If I get a job I have to ask her to front me for uber. As far as the bus goes, it’s a 20 minute walk to the bus stop and the route that reaches my neighborhood comes at the buttcracknof dawn. That, plus I’m in school.. I can’t ALWAYS take the freaking bus. She makes me feel like I begger or as if I’m lesser than she is for asking for a ride ANYWHERE. Sometimes she will be like “you so inconsiderate of my own time” — when literally I say “hey if you’re able to, can you?” —I’m simply just asking… Or if she’s on her way to that part of town, I’ll ask for a ride, and she will still make me feel bad. Or on the way there, she will look at me and scoff and roll her eyes the entire freaking time..I could be dead silent scrolling on my phone..

It’s like, I can’t work to escape because I can’t get there. Or if I get a job, I have to beg for a ride there simply just to make a living .. and she wants me to move out. Well how??? If there no money?????

I also am starving. There’s food in the house but I get ridiculed for using some of the food. “You ate all my (frozen packaged food that’s been sitting in the freezer for months that she wasn’t even thinking about)”. She was kind enough to purchase me some lunch meat and bread to make sandwiches.. but she also brought herself lunch meat and she told me not to use it. Which is fine, but considering that in all the years I’ve known my mother, she rarely eats sandwiches. I think I’ve seen it MAYBE 3 times. She doesn’t buy herself lunch meat. So when I reached for one of the lunch meat packages, she made sure to let me know it wasn’t for me. Just the salami. And I like salami but that package won’t last me a week even. Very grateful to have it but I’m alrwady half way thru and I’m soooo hungry.

She asked me to cook the other day and I couldn’t because I had school obligations. The following day I told her I can cook and to pick a few things up. That night I cooked the meal and it was just on low & I asked her if she could watch it for like 10nminutes because I had to finish up some school work. Which was improtant because I had to take a week off because I had surgery. I was drowning in work.. and she made a fight out of That and was like “YOU wanted to cook today so watch ur food”— and I told her I did today because she asked me to the previous day in which I wasn’t able to. And she got angry that I brought that up.. I did it because she wanted me to cook.. and she suggested I do the entirety of the dishes that night as well. Usually the person who cooked doesn’t do dishes in our home. Usually. The dishes are rotated between me my mother and my sister. Cooking was the day before yesterday. She asked me to do them again. Why should I? She always excuses my sister for everything, and gives her more grace and she tells me I’m just jealous. Yes. I am just jealous of my sibling being given grace, constant words of encouragement and endless love. & now has perfect credit and is moving out soon. I didn’t get that the way that she did. Maybe it sounds petty but i think it makes a huge difference.

I have lost over 30npounds in the last few months because I haven’t been eating adequately . Just tidbits of what I could find. Borrow cash from friends to buy a. Few groceries

Anytime she gives me things it’s never genuine. She will always throw it in my face

Anytime I’m upset, my anger is never valid. Only hers. And she “didn’t do anything”.

I can’t go on this way. Even just now we got into a screaming match and I told her I wasn’t in the place to have the conversation and she kept provoking me to take the hinges off the door because I wanted space to myself for a few moments. All because I told her I was hungry. I am so fucking hungry all of the time.

I cant do this anymore and I have no way out without selling my body.

I posted it somewhere else and no one responded to, so I do here too.

So, Im 16 and my mom KEEPS searching on my phone (excessively) without my permission and I cannot say anything about that because she is "my mother" and I live under her home and her laws.

I cannot have a private life in my phone because she always searching inside and it is not just looking if I do talk with strangers or look at my conversations to see if im not in a danger.

It's literally a cops control. She always have and that need to analyze what I am talking about with everyone. And it really piss me off

Im not in a age that looking in might sound really strict while it is not, I had before friends that was 15-17y and they told me their moms do not search on their phones.

I cant talk about it to her because she'd heard "leave me tf alone i want to do everything I want in my phone without you beside my ass"

instead of

"mom look, I understand you as a mom you might be worried about what I am doing on my phone and you're only reassuring yourself, but i need you to understand me as a soon 17y and then almost 18y, I need my own private life without knowing someone would look in it, it doesn't mean i do stupid things but i need a private life like everyone needs one"

So now I always have to be strategic with how I use my phone. I just want a private life, at least in conversation. Talking about any topics, without a cops control.

I've just read an article about "signs of controlling parents" and they matched so many of the descriptions on the website. My parents have done many things in my life that I am so grateful for, and they've provided me emotional support when I began to feel low and helpless. For example:

I'm alternative, and they let me wear what I want. They also encourage my creativity like drawing and painting.

My mom came and helped me clean up my apartment when I was going through my first breakup at 21. (I am still 21 lol and we're back together)

They believe in mental health and therapy "culture"

They allow me privacy in my personal relationships (but my mom has a history of trying to control my past platonic and romantic relationships)

Additionally, they're paying for my college and my housing using their job benefits, and I couldn't be more grateful, as my degree will be essentially free for me. They will give me money for groceries and personal expenses as long as I'm doing well in school. On the contrary:

They are extremely dismissive of my emotions and constantly belittle my emotions. My mom also has a habit of ignoring me on purpose.

My mom guilt trips me all the time

CONSTANT threats of abandonment, threatening to take away the housing/college money they provide me knowing that I have been trying to find a job for a year now- and recently, multiple threats to send me back to the states as we live outside of the U.S. right now.

They insist they're always right (emotionally) can never do any wrong. Everything is my fault or they say "I'm always the one to start arguments."

My mistakes are all "malicious and purposeful rebellion." They say I'm disrespectful and rebellious because I "want to be."

And every time I call them or talk to them it's always a lecture or criticism. "You need to meet more normal people," "You need to stop wearing all that black shit," "Get a haircut," "Your degree is useless get a business degree." etc.

My mom also tends to hold grudges and will give me the silent treatment occasionally, and won't listen to my attempts at an apology or explanation. She will explain to me how she feels about the situation based on assumption, and tell me my explanation doesn't matter.

I'm by no means perfect. I have a history of angry outbursts, irresponsibility, rebellion (due to the urge to be independent), and general underlying mental health issues. However, I was diagnosed with ADHD at 6 and a few other issues throughout my life, and have also been in therapy since I was 6 years old, and my parents know I have mental health issues. But regardless, I'm tired of feeling like I can't do anything right. I'm tired of the criticism, and I'm tired of them invalidating everything I feel.

I have so much anxiety because of all the arguments and miscommunication I've had with my parents over the years. I have low self-esteem. I'm always apologizing. I struggle maintaining boundaries with others and saying "no." I find it hard to make decisions on my own as they have taken over so many large decisions in my life. I'm so tired of feeling like a bad person and I'm tired of feeling like a constant failure. While there are issues on both sides, I want so badly to separate myself and minimize contact with them so I can give myself the space to just relax and heal mentally.

Okay to start off I kinda just wanna hear people’s thoughts. And I always wanna get to hear other stories and how they feel about my situations. I guess I’ll start off talking about my mom.

My mom was born a preemie and grew up with learning disability’s. She always had boyfriends that I didn’t like and always didn’t listen to me. Now she was not a good mom. One time she got overwhelmed with me and put me in my room when I was under the age of 5 and I opened the door because I could hear her crying she she kicked it and it hit me in the nose so hard I bled. Then in her custody also when she would have the neighbors babysit me while she and her bf were at work, they would sit me down on the stairs of their apartment and throw rocks at me.

For a long time I thought I was crazy so I asked my mom like hey I keep thinking about this and like idk if it happened or not and she just looked at me and said yea it happened. Nothing about her pressing charges. She knew they were abusing her child and did nothing. Eventually my grandparents got kinship and I lived with them. My mom eventually got married but she started to cheat on my then step dad ( We’re going through the adoption process so he can be my father now) with a man in prison for 10 years. I was a minor at the time.

I found out that this man is a pedophile with three counts of touching a minor under 13 3rd degree, And a dropped 2nd degree kidnapping and a2nd degree touching a minor under 13. Now when I found out I was still a minor but she eventually moved in with him when he got out after 8 years and has given me back every child thing I have given her ( Stuffed animals, animated kids dvds, any letter I wrote to her as a child for Mother’s Day or events) because she couldent have kids things around. I eventually told her it’s me or him and she chose him and I haven’t spoken to her in a since.

When I got older I looked into his case more and started realizing that this wasn’t okay and I wanted to hear his story. They told me multiple different stories and I never believed it so I finally recently actually talked to his victim. Turns out he got really drunk and made her at 4 years old get him off. And I freaked out because she told me he used to be a really bad alcoholic and he’s been in jail for domestic violence. I called my mom right after and told her everything because after not speaking to her in forever I thought this would be my last chance to get through to her.

Unfortunately she told me that she didn’t believe me and she needed to hear it from the victim herself. And that I’m just mad because she’s finally happy in her life and I’m not. And my thing is she’s a fucking special education teacher???? Like how is that even legal. Anywho she said she has to think about things and she just wants to run off because she doesn’t know what to think. She blocked me but I look at her posts from a different account and she posts everyday about how great her husband is and how much she loves her kids. Like I’m not crazy to have cut contact right?

something about my mother she likes to threaten to kick me out, to call the police on me, and to basically ruin my life in any way she can conceive of. A few months ago I started applying to join the military and ever since then she has taken a liking to threatening to call my recruiter to say I beat her and have mental disorders.

Today was just like any other day with her, she bitched constantly for three hours this morning. She threw a fit when I wanted to go to the store to get some food because there's barely anything in the house at the moment. While at the store I need a moment on my phone before I went went in and asked for the keys so I could lock the door when I exited the car.

So I'm walking through the store looking for her, called her a few times but apparently she has me blocked so I texted her and I'm walking around looking for her while I'm waiting for a response. Well 5 to 7 minutes of that I finally get a call from her and she's very snippy and aggressive, saying she got everything and to get to the car.

I wasn't sure if she actually got everything so I called her a few times, of course I was blocked so I couldn't actually get through, then text her while I'm waiting for a response I get a few things I think she would've forgotten. So as I'm walking around waiting for a response from her she doesn't respond for about 10 minutes. At that point I go to the bathroom and find her coming at me while I'm walking there. She threatens me physically, threatens to leave me at the store, and then ambiguously threatens to screw me over if I don't handle the keys.

At that point I'm already walking into the bathroom so I say "OK well give me a a minute or two and I'll be out there with you".

When I get out there she decides to lock the doors and not let me in. So I'm knocking on the window in the door saying hey let me in unlock the doors and she starts driving off a little bit and then slamming on the brakes. Nothing new for her, it's pretty common behavior that happens for pretty much for no reason.

So as I am holding onto the door expecting her to unlock it at some point she decides to completely take off with me still on the car. I end up hitting my head and now I have a road rash from my thigh to my hips and across my stomach.

Someone called the police and they came up and just gave me some advice about if she does anything to call them again.

I'm not even getting into the next two hours of her offering to drive me and then making stipulations about how I have to walk to where she wants me to be and then not responding when I ask her "OK where should I go".

Right now I just need advice on a few things.

The key thing is what should I do if she actually does start lying to my recruiter saying I do terrible things?

What should I do if she does actually call the police?

What should I do if she actually does kick me out?

Unfortunately there's a few things that she did in my childhood and teenage years that's currently inhibiting me from shipping to Boot Camp at this moment so I can't just tell my recruiter to move up my shipdate.

I really just don't know what to do at this moment.

I am writing this from a throwaway account for safety reasons. I am an 17-year-old Male student living at home with my mother, sister, and father in India. I go to college to a different district and i stay at dorm there for the majority of the time of the year.

location: india, west bengal

For years, my household has dealt with severe ongoing emotional, mental, and financial abuse from my father:

- Financial & Basic Deprivation: He steals money, refuses to provide basic necessities, and frequently takes cash from us meant for daily food/groceries and disappears or returns empty-handed, leaving us without basic meals

.

- Medical Neglect: I am currently suffering from a severe, throbbing tooth issue needing urgent care. My father deliberately stalls and refuses to take me to the reputable government dental college hospital, deflecting to an unvetted local person while family feuds block referral access to the Certified proper Government dental college. Medical and basic health needs are routinely neglected or weaponized.

- Mother’s State: My parents' marriage was forced years ago. My mother has developed severe learned helplessness and emotional dissociation. She copes by emotionally checking out, joking about a "spiritual divorce," and refuses to take any legal step or complain to authorities because she is terrified and exhausted.

- Family Influence: My father’s side of the family has significant financial resources and local connections. My father frequently uses this dynamic knowing my mother won't retaliate.

- Severe Boundary Violation Tonight: Tonight, my father brought an unauthorized middle-aged man directly into my sister’s private room without knocking or warning when she was completely unprepared and inappropriately dressed. He has pulled similar boundary violations before with random people. This situation has happened a lot of times before

We managed to secure the room and wait until they left, but the environment feels volatile, unsafe, and unpredictable.

I need practical advice on two fronts:

1. Legal & Police Reality: Since my mother refuses to be a complainant or sign anything, what legal rights or protections do my sister and I have independently against domestic harassment, medical neglect, privacy violations, and intimidation? If the other side has local connections, how do people navigate this safely without escalating danger at home?

2. Survival & Exit Strategy: For those who have navigated dysfunctional Indian households with zero parental support, how did you survive the daily stress, secure your documents/finances, and successfully plan an exit?

Any objective guidance, legal references under Indian law (PWDVA, BNS), or survival advice would be deeply appreciated. Thank you.