I'm a 15 year old in high school. I'm an introvert and mostly keep to myself. I was admitted into a new school last year and we've got a single grade classroom with like, ten people (Where I live, students sit in their designated grade classrooms of different sections, like 10-A, 10-B, 10-C, for example, and teachers rotate between classrooms of different grades. Since this is a new school, we've only got one section for the tenth grade) I can't approach people. I usually address them with a greeting and then follow up with a mundane topic (how're your studies going on, etc.) and then I'm avoided the next day. Everyone hangs out in huge groups which makes it even harder. I suck at keeping conversations with a person because while I listen carefully, address their concerns, follow up with my own input, I can only hold it up as long as the other person is talking. Then my energy drains out and I stop involving myself at some point. I've people say that I'm too formal with my conversations, but I don't know how else to talk and break the ice. I've got no friends in my school, but I've got four friends in my apartment colony (which I'm thankful for). it's about to be two years in this school for me and I still sit in the corner and don't talk unless someone asks me for schoolwork or just help with something. What do I do? Can I even fix this?

i’m sure i have the exact same situation as many on this sub, but there’s this constant loop of being chronically alone and then attempting to fix it by starting something romantic. i just got out of a 4 year long romantic endeavor where i cut off a lot of my close friends and sunk into myself, and the realization that i have the rest of my adult life ahead of me seems bleak and discouraging.

i don’t go out much aside from studying for my career specialty, going to the gym, and going to work. there are few interests i possess that enable me to engage with people my age (reading, embroidery, my career) and even my social interests (NBA, gaming, politics) are more enjoyable by myself. it’s especially discouraging being the youngest nurse on the floor while being surrounded by people twice my age that can’t relate to me. being picky about the company i keep doesn’t help my dwindling social circle either.

all this to say i feel stuck. i want to find people my age to engage with in a meaningful and platonic way. it’s especially disheartening to hear about my roommates vast social opportunities and not be invited to any events. i don’t really know how to find new friends nor make them last. being horribly depressed also doesn’t help my prospects, but good lord would i like to break out of it.

if you’re a socially awkward 20-something in the minneapolis area, say hi :)

Hi everyone,

I think I tend to overthink a lot, but recently I’ve been really worried that people find me annoying. I only have a few close friends and I always message them randomly. I’m noticing that I have a huge block of texts I’m sending which are barely getting replies. Am I being too much? Maybe I’m talking way to much about myself or what I’m doing and they find me annoying…

This school semester has been quite difficult so I also feel like I’ve been complaining a lot. Should I stop? If I annoyed them then how do I fix it?

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I'm in a weird position at work where I'm isolated from everyone. When I do open up, some people have twisted things that Ive said, so I hardly talk to anyone because I can't trust anyone. But, I'm human and I can't just sit in a room all day and never speak to anyone...(I've tried with mixed success).

So there is a new person at work who I actually \*like\* but I'm so confused whether she is my friend or not. I don't know if I can trust her. I'm female by the way. So me and this new person worked in the same career field previously and have that in common. There's also some specific things we have in common that are kind of unique. Sometimes I go to talk to her about something work related and it will turn into a 20 minute conversation about personal things or work things when I only intended a short conversation about the initial point. We don't talk to each other everyday, so please don't think I'm just spending all my time at work talking to her! Lol. She did give me her phone number when I said I was going on a trip alone, so that was nice of her. I passed on a magazine because there was an interesting article that I thought she might enjoy.

Here is the kicker though - she is HR. I am on my guard talking to her, and I keep telling myself to NOT let a work related conversation turn into anything lengthy. But somehow it does. I am afraid to consider her a friend because maybe she is just telling me things because she is a talker? I don't want to call anyone a friend unless they are going to be in my life long term. There are some things that make me think maybe she is just tolerating me - It's always me who goes to talk to her about the work thing first.She doesn't come to talk to me, ever. But there are multiple times I've tried to end the conversation and am physically getting up from the chair but she continues it. And another thing is it's been three weeks and she hasn't mentioned the magazine article.

I guess to sum up, I think we both like each other as coworkers but can I actually consider her a friend? I don't know what to think. Sorry, I have trust issues and I really don't want to be thinking of her as a friend if I shouldn't. Please tell me what you think.

She didn’t say anything it was the look she gave them and the outfit I was wearing before I headed out. I was actually not so sure about her in the beginning but after actually spending time with her had realized she seemed quite nice and have liked her just fine since. I know both pairs of shoes I have are looking old and that I should switch them out.

I envy people who can talk about a topic for hours and have so much to say and share their opinions Everything they say seems logical and convincing, while I can barely form a single sentence. If you ask me my opinion on something, I'll answer briefly without explaining why. It sucks that I don't know how to explain things in detail like the people I see online, whether on Reddit or social media, or in real life in general. It's truly frustrating because if I try to talk more, my mind wanders and I start rambling nonsense. I just wanted to vent and see if anyone else is experiencing the same thing, any advice would be appreciated.(I hope that made sense because even after rereading this whole thing, I’m not sure it does )

I joined a new store opening bc I was hoping a newly* hired team would be a fresh slate. But no, it's the same thing. It's immediate at orientation. I go up to introduce myself to someone and I won't get much of a response. I'll compliment them and ask the typical questions, what's your name? is your commute far? General small talk. If I ask how their day is so far, I'll get a 1 word response, but if someone else comes up and asks they'll go into detail about their entire day... mentioning pets, s/o's, hobbies. These are people who just met btw, but somehow they have way more rapport than I can manage to build. If I'm catching up with a coworker, someone else will join and shoulder me out of the conversation and I'm left excluded. They will huddle together and move a few steps away from me. I was soo hopeful bc a coworker asked me to join a group chat "just for the girlies" intended for outside hangouts, but she didn't. Later, another coworker invited me out for drinks. When I showed up, the girls faces immediately fell. They left by the time I got my drink. The girl that invited me apologized, said everyone had been there for a while already. She's been the only one nice to me, but I suspect the other girls gave her shit for inviting me. I know they probably just went somewhere else. I felt like I was set up for humiliation. I try to still be kind, helpful, and smile through it. It's hurtful that people don't want to get to know me. I'm wondering if I come off annoying, bitchy, insincere in some way. I am trying to reflect and be self aware as to which aspects of my personality suck but I can't see it. This happens at every place I have worked.

I am short on ideas as to how to initiate more/better conversation topics. How do I build up rapport? What are some activities appropriate to ask a coworker to do outside of work? What are some things that others do to make your workplace fun, time fly by, or brighten your day?

You know when you're sad or angry, and get thoughts that have strong emotional attachments to them, that want to encourage you to say more than you'd like, maybe something you'd regret? I get this way with bringing up memories that make me happy, even when have no relevance to the conversation. It's like I'm treating people as my own podcast.

I feel depressed and lonely most of the time, and my behaviour only perpetuates this cycle. I'll ask people questions out of genuine care, then in their responses, they'll trigger some memory I really want to talk about even if it's not relevant, because there's a lot of intense positive emotion tied to that memory and I want it, I want to feel happy, I want to be social, I want this person to know me. But I take it to an extreme, and monologue for several mins.

I try to satisfy happiness elsewhere but I want my social needs filled. I want to feel like I belong somewhere, anywhere, even for a moment. It's hard to find a replacement for that.

I've embarrassed myself many times with this behaviour, and it's affecting the image of the few people who do choose to associate with me. It's hard to find help online as "how to stop being annoying" is seen as a social anxiety manifestation, but it's not in my head, it's ruined established friend groups as well as potential friendships over the years. I'm in my early 30s.