r/onionheadlines • u/WebguyCanada • 9h ago

Trump Says He Will End War In Iran Once He Has Finished Making Money From It

203 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/BestStoogewasLarry • 16m ago

Trump Planning To Start More Wars And Destroy More Historic Landmarks As Distractions From New Bombshell Epstein Report

• Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 7h ago

Mike Johnson Claims Proof That The Current US President Is Compromised Is National Security Reason To Suppress Epstein Files

38 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Im_with_stooopid • 12h ago

Americans Urged To Protect Their Couches As Hurricane Vance Approaches.

67 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Im_with_stooopid • 9h ago

President Trump Signs Executive Order Renaming The Washington Monument To The Trump Tower.

28 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 17h ago

Trump Orders Everyone To Call Artificial Plants "Super Plants"

93 Upvotes

"I just had Natalie order some Super Flowers for my current wife," said the President. "Um... Melanie?"

r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 6h ago

Trump Wanders Into Oval Office Wearing Nothing But A Strategically Placed Mechanical Sock

11 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Public_Steak_6933 • 5h ago

Breaking News: President Donalt Jezebell Chrump Has Announced Putin Is The New US Ambassador BFF

7 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/mc_petersonishsonson • 12h ago

Musk Promises Every Human A Condo On The Moon If Ken Paxton Wins

25 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/vault0dweller • 16h ago

Nicki Manaj Joins President Trump On Stage In Attempt To Break Guinness Record For Most Pedophiles In One Room

50 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/BaileyOverJennifer • 5m ago

Trump Names Flávio Bolsonaro US Ambassador To Brasil.

• Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/SLneechski • 6m ago

Opinion: I Am The Eyelash Whose Turn It Is To Get Into Your Eye And Annoy The Everloving Fuck Out Of You

• Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Im_with_stooopid • 8h ago

President Trump Plans First Annual Super Intelligence Ball Where Only The Super Intelligent Are Invited

9 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/BestStoogewasLarry • 1d ago

Trump Signs An Executive Order Stating That All Women Who Accuse Him Of Rape, Pedophilia, And Sex Trafficking Are Liars

207 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Tryingtomoveon800 • 10h ago

Trump Blames Founding Fathers for Not Opening Strait of Hormuz

11 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Im_with_stooopid • 9h ago

Trump Blames Curds And Whey For Current State Of Iran War.

10 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 9h ago

Trump Struggling To Convince MAGA That Dumb Is Spelled With A “U”

8 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Old_Timer_Unleashed • 8h ago

Trump Sues Obama For Past Rent For Living Inside His Head.

5 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/LarryGlue • 17h ago

Breaking: World's Most Corrupt, Blood Thirsty, Leaders Pray Democratic Elections Will Keep Them In Power

28 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 6h ago

Republicans Claim Homosexuality Is Far More Exciting If You Pretend You’re Not

3 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/johnnybna • 1d ago

AG Blanche Swears DOJ Not Weaponized After Seeking Death Penalty Against James Comey For Vandalizing Reflecting Pool

135 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Desperate_Elk_7369 • 12h ago

Musk Warns: Others May Also Hack Election Machines

7 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/SillyAlternative420 • 16h ago

Online Conservatives Outraged Over Trump's AI Terminology Mandate, As Calling Themselves "SI Bots" Just Doesn't Feel The Same

15 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/FTHomes • 21h ago

Fox News Reports Psychiatrist Says Trump Thinks He Is The United States

42 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 17h ago

Trump Impresses MAGA With New Midterm Slogan To “Sell America To Putin”

17 Upvotes

Subreddit

Write Your Own Onion Headlines, Or Don't. Shut Up About It

r/onionheadlines

A subreddit for writing satirical news headlines in the style of *The Onion* Please NOTE: this subreddit is not affiliated with the actual Onion newspaper in any way, shape, or form. These headlines are written by knuckle-dragging reddit users. The real Onion publishes actually good headlines, unlike the subliterate imitations you see here.

Members Active

113.7k

0

Sidebar

Hi, welcome to /r/onionheadlines. Do you have an awesome (or even maybe sorta funny) idea for an Onion headline? Then this subreddit is for you. Show us what you got.

Feel free to write in the comments section the article that corresponds to the headline, but only if it's 437 words exactly, as is standard Onion practice.

Rules:

1) The only rule is no rules, except for the ones we make up as we go along.

2) OK, there is one real rule. Headlines with links to other sites are allowed, but limited to once per week, per site. However, feel free to post as many non-linked headlines as you'd like, even if they are found elsewhere on the web.

Also be sure to checkout some of the lesser subreddits we tricked into hosting a link to this subreddit:

Of course if you want to post actual Onion headlines, go to /r/theonion. If you post an actual Onion headline here, you'll be banned, maybe. I don't know. There's no rule for that yet. Don't test us.