Hey so I’m going to share my point of view from me, someone’s ex who apologised after 8 years.

When trying to develop every aspects of my life, I came with a conclusion : even if I was now mostly good with myself, something important was left.

It was : completely coming to terms with my past and not carrying any guilt baggage of my previous younger self into my newfound peace, and make sure anyone around me would not have something about my past behaviour following them.

So I came to the conclusion that I had a bitter feeling about how this one relationship from 8 years ago ended with a really loving woman.

I thought I had been immature, and that she did not deserve my behaviour towards her near the end of the relationship at the time, mostly by “ghosting” her and not having proper communication and closure.

For 8 years I thought about how she did not deserve this. I was really remorseful.

Absolutely not thinking about something else than being truthful, I simply added her again on Instagram, she accepted and I told her without filter that I was sorry for how I treated her.

I knew this woman was now married, but I was absolutely not “coming back” as a threat to their couple.
Me reaching out wasn’t about getting back together, it was about telling my younger self off and being sorry to her for hurting her.
Even if she would not reply, I would at least have done something to acknowledge that she wasn’t responsible at the time.

She absolutely welcomed me with a more mature, wonderful open and familiar heart. Even after a few lines back and forth I was really sorry and she kept saying she didn’t feel like I did something wrong, that she was happy that I reached out and that I should’ve contacted her sooner to get it off my chest.

We shared thoughts from our past, we shared memories and experiences. How we still look at this relationship from our more mature eyes.

Absolutely nothing bad ended up coming out of this relationship and we still hold each others dearly in our hearts, like it would still be something that exists in another life even if so much happened in 8 years time.

She told me : “You will understand me : I love you.”

I said : “I love you too, and I understand you.”

I’m glad I reached out without badly placed pride and now both of us are at peace.

she is the dumper

i have this feeling that woman never ever come bac ( even for just a small message )

we broke up 4 months ago for the second time and 2 months ago we last texted. I texted her saying I gelt miserable and she said I need to work on that on my own but she still wishes me the best.

Last week she blocked me and i did the same, but it broke me.

I just want to text her so bad even if she doesnt see it. But im scared she will unblock me and see ive texted her

What is the point of not blocking someone but at the same time refusing to reply to them when they message you? I know most people would say they want to leave a door open in case they want to reach out later but the messages I have sent her since the breakup include.....

-"You have a lot of your stuff at my house. Do you want it back? If so let me know when. If you don't want to talk to me or see me I can give it to (her best friend) and she can give it to you. Just let me know."

-"Is there any way we can resolve this or is our relationship done for good?"

-"Are you ever going to speak to me again?"

Her read receipts are on so I can see she is reading these she just leaves me on read and doesn't reply. If I was sending her long messages about how much I love her and miss her or how bad I am hurting, or certainly if I was sending her mean or angry texts, ok I would completely understand not responding to messages like that. But not responding to the messages above at all makes zero sense to me.

To me, even if you feel the other person is 100% completely in the wrong and the cause of the breakup, that person still deserves basic communication about whether things are repairable or not, whether you intend on ever speaking to them again, and logistics like retrieving your belongings. To me this just feel incredibly immature and even cruel. She knows I don't want the breakup and am hurting and just looking for clarification on where she stands. The only reason I can think of to intentionally not give that to me is either sheer punishment or pure ego. Maybe both. It's just really messed up. At what point, if any, do they feel you've been punished enough?

I think it's best if I just leave you alone.

I've been trying to reintroduce the fun, but ever since Thursday, things seem distance.

Honestly, I think either that ship has sailed, or its now anchored elsewhere. Which is fine, but I rather you be honest.

I am worried about you but I think I'm coming across needy and I'm pretty sure it's irritating you. I'm not falling out with you, just giving you space

I have been no contact with my ex boyfriend (4 year relationship) for just over 3 months - our last messages were 20th July and we saw each other that morning.

I knew when I drove home from his house I would never see him again. I knew that after we exchanged our messages, I would never hear from him again and I would not reach out to him either.

I feel confused, mostly, because his last messages to me were

“I do love you. You went this morning and I smelt the pillow you laid on”

Then

“Don’t worry, I have prepared a letter for you that I’ll send you in due time”

I never received this letter. I broke up with him because there was a severe lack of commitment on his side, I was never a priority, and for the last two years he seemed to take pleasure in showing me just how little of a priority I was to him.

I feel like a part of me is missing, it’s so hard to be in no contact even though I know this is the right thing for my life and future. I know that despite how much I love him, he isn’t going to change and even if he does love me, it isn’t enough.

I’m so angry at how this has turned out and I’m angry at myself for staying as long as I did. Is it wrong that I wish he’d reach out to me?

I’m feeling very heartbroken as it would have been our anniversary this Friday (30th October). And I’m thinking back to the first couple of years when that day meant something. Two years ago, we weren’t on the best of terms for our anniversary but he still sent me two bouquets of flowers, a card, and messaged me. I know that will never happen again.

I feel like somewhere along the way he truly stopped loving me and trying and I just feel so confused and upset that this is where I am in life right now.

I’m going through a break up at the moment . But I go through it in a very different way .
I feel like I still have the control of my life .

1. I couldn’t properly concentrate on my office work or studies since the break up. I have no rush commitments for both . So maybe that’s a reason too.
   
2. Phone is the biggest distraction. Keep the phone away and staying for 30 minutes without doing is the hardest . It makes me think of all the beautiful memories and I cry like crazy.
   
3. I feel like Every song I listen to represents something in our relationship. Some reminds me of our beautiful time together. Some makes me feel so guilty and makes me feel like I’m the bad guy.
   
4. I could delete social media. But when I was there last time I saw he has deleted all the pictures related to me . But I still have profile pictures he took and I still have pictures of him . I’m not looking at them because they make me cry but I have no guts to delete them either .
   
5. I constantly feel like I’m the bad guy. But he was in a so bad financial situation that I couldn’t tolerate anymore and I hated him for that . Because I felt like he didn’t even try to fix it for two years . But I feel guilty when I think like I was too hard on him.

This is open question for both men and women

Can you share stories where you/the other person break no contact to comeback.

I’m just looking for insights. Thank you!

Venting out and seeking support

Its been a while i went NC with him, things were very toxic and he had started being abusive, controlling.

I am aware very well as to why i went NC and why he was Unhealthy for me

Today when i have made slight progress in my life on my own (well with others help, but not his) i miss him SO MUCH, my heart wants to tell him , look what i archived with. I know if i tell him that i have achived 5 things he would say how proud he is to achive 100 things and that too with someone else (his partner). and the moment he will share those things with me, my heart will break into pieces knowing that those experiences were with someone else.

And yet silly heart is craving to share my small wins with him.. sharing my achievements with friends don't give satisfaction as much as it is to share those with him..

Edit: I could not control those feelings and read his unread messages, they are all about HIS feelings, HIS thoughts, HIS pain ,once again it hurt. How can one be so self focused. Self obsessed, full of Self Respect/Ego.