There’s something really isolating about being born this way

I’m not saying what I am about to say is correct. I’m not expecting anyone to read this or agree with me, and I’m not really sure what the point here is. It’s a lingering feeling that’s been around for so long that it’s the only thing I feel, and I cannot even identify it.

On the main subreddits they flaunt how they flirt with and befriend anyone and everyone and how they jump and move on from person to person every other month. Something that seems to shallow and surface seems to be the deepest form of expression for a lot of people.

Nothing about my sexuality is a blessing to me. I remember making a post on here when I was about sixteen about how lonely I was. I did it every year and now I’m twenty. Maybe it is my fault, and I am not looking for pity, I just don’t want my thoughts to be silent forever.

It’s as if people managed to take what ruined my life and repackaged it as something with no real meaning that is supposed to be the greatest thing as you don’t say anything that will make them think too hard.

I wish I was out partying every weekend and had a big friend group and joked about girls kissing girls, but for many reasons, I’m not. I’m a complete freak to the people of the world and they only deny it when it’s convenient for them and they want to virtue signal. it’s only been a pain for me. It’s something bad rooted in me. For most overcome but only grows for people like me

But it is not only my sexuality. Though it is as if everything that seems to throw me apart from people stems partially from it like the root of a tree

I don’t talk to anyone. I wrote this post on an impulse and I silently cut off my friends a few months ago because if I pretended like I fit in for another day I think I would die

But the truth will kill me first

Hello ladies! I (F20), after a series of LDRs, decided to jump into the physical dating world.

Now, something that robs me of my sleep at night sometimes: What's your experience with your bush? Do you keep it natural? If so, does oral happen without major annoyances? Do you trim? If so, is scissoring/any other tribbing position uncomfortable because the hair isn't as soft? I'm curious about what has worked best for you and how y'all can find the sweet spot between all the choices.

Aand those are the questions of a blatantly inexperienced baby gay. Thanks in advance, and more general advice will be welcomed as well 💜

Nothing more than that. Just found out the actress of Franky from Wentworth (yeah I'm behind on the times watching it, I know lol) is straight. Sigh. Feel like this is so common.

And don't get me wrong. Some straight actresses have done so well with lesbian characters. Kathryn Hahn is an incredible actress who did so well with Agatha Harkness and clearly respected the importance of her sexuality.

But...idk. Just wish we had more lesbians playing y'know...lesbians. lol

I'm going to kill myself over this woman I swear.

She's gorgeous, funny, smart, a brilliant writer, sweet, kind, amazing taste in shows, thinks I'm beautiful, the list goes on.

Only problem is that she's straight and is dating this ugly piece of shit boy.

We text sometimes, always ending with her saying "goodnight gorgeous" or "goodnight beautiful." I got her to read my embarrassing lesbian erotica and she thoroughly enjoyed it and was very supportive, she doesn't care that I'm a lesbian at all nor is she uncomfortable by it. I just love her so much.

I fantasize about being with her multiple times a day, I've undressed her a million times in my head, made passionate love to her... fuck I wish she liked girls. AT LEAST she might be bisexual and just hasn't realized it... I'm holding onto hope desperately.

Has anyone been in a similar situation?? I'm squealing like a little girl over every text message... I want to die. I need her so bad.

I'm about to start the first episode of a show she likes so I can talk about it with her. I think I'm gonna arrange a hangout with her because I NEED to see her, feel her touch. When we worked together I would follow her like a puppy everywhere, making every excuse to be in her presence. I'm so down bad, I almost never have crushes and this one is severe.

I'm gonna get my heart broken, aren't I?

Literally to quote someone "we don't know what a lesbian is"

I just can't. It's fucking hilarious watching this discussion.

Like I understand the butch/ftm space was blurry historically because transition wasn't really a thing.

But fuck me.

Its genuinely like they didn't really talk to butch lesbians who ARE cis women at all.

"There are more labels now" yeah true.

But actually a large portion just left y'all's queers spaces. We ain't disappeared or transitioned or using other labels.

Y'all kept telling us to go on T, examine our "preferences" aka take girldick when alot of us are tops, or even stone.

Don't even get me started on the constant misandry towards our trans masc and trans men buddies in general space who we share alot of experiences in common with and drove them out as well.

Masked as "anyone but cis men"

But at the same time seem perfectly happy defining lesbians as non-men. Rather than what it actually is.

God I miss the days of separation between lesbian and sapphic. Where sapphic was basically the broad term. And lesbian was just exclusively F4F.

Thanks for coming to my tedTalk.

I love mascs. I love femmes. I consider myself butch, and I don't really have a preference for the women I date.

But sometimes, I feel like these identities have become a sort of psyop to keep lesbians single. This idea that it's totally normal to have a completely unwavering requirement to only date one or the other. Like, our dating pool is already so small, and now you're going to tell me that you're not going to give a second look to someone because they're wearing boy clothes? Bffr, we're all women underneath.

I get preferences, I do. But I really think some lesbians are just shooting themselves in the foot with this.

Tangled up in all this is how so many (especially younger) lesbians are seeing these labels as prescriptive instead of descriptive. "How can I be more butch?" "How does a femme act towards her butch?" "How can I pass better as a butch" (?!?) Like... just be you? Stop trying to become a caricature, my god.

Like I said, I consider myself butch. And I think I look damn good with a little eyeliner smudge now and then. Once every couple years or so, I like to ball out in a dress because I know I can still look hot and it's fun to jump scare my friends a bit lol. It's weird to think I could run into someone I might be really compatible with on one of those days who might not give me a second look because of what I'm wearing.

Like I said, preferences are fine. I'm definitely not going to tell anyone that they have to expand their horizons or anything. Just feels like an odd thing I've noticed, and I really do think it's worth thinking about and discussing.

EDIT: It's kinda funny reading some of these comments... a femme is still a femme when she's naked, but I can't be butch because I wear a little guyliner sometimes 😂

serious question. how do you do it.

time, no contact, therapy, gym. ok. But i miss her. it felt like we were one thing. same brain, same jokes, same silence. i don't know where i end and she starts and now im supposed to treat it like a normal breakup and move on with my little life

so if you've actually done it, what did you DO. i want the actual steps. what did the first month look like. what did you do with your hands at 11pm. did you block her or did you do the lesbian thing and stay friends.

Seeing parents embrace their children no matter what or who they are, or knowing that some people can still talk to their parents even when their relationships are strained. Seeing siblings remain so close to each other despite everything. Seeing my friends surrounded by supportive parents, while I’m left with parents and siblings who would rather have a dead daughter and sister than a lesbian one. It makes me all so envious.
The truth is, my family doesn‘t know anything about me. I barely speak to my siblings beyond the things I know won’t come back to hurt me, because the smallest things have hurt me already in the past. I live in a country where homosexuality is legal, but my family brought their intense, downright murderous hatred with them from our home country. In fact, they celebrate the fact that gay people are actively hunted down and killed back there.
I’ll be leaving soon, I know I can’t continue living in fear, but knowing that I may never get to experience the warmth of a loving hug from my mother, father, sister, or brothers rots something inside me. I don’t know how to carry the burden of loving them and grieving them at the same time. I’ve written about this so many times, but I never seem to find any relief. I don’t know where to put this grief or what to do with all this hurt.
I just want my mom.
I wish I had been born into a family that could love me as I am. I wish being a lesbian didn’t have to cost me the people I love. Sometimes, I wish I had never been a lesbian at all.

Mi favorito es el piercing de la ceja. Veo a una chica con eso y me pongo super 🫦

Solamente quería decir eso.

Y'all I can't with Pinterest. Like the amount of likes 😭. What does this even mean? How are you a nonbinary AMAB lesbian? I noticed that so much of this has been going around.

Hello! The Order of the Labrys is recruiting lovely ladies for an all women's guild headed by me! We are going to be a PVE and RP centered guild. Please join us if you want to be around other lovely lesbians when you're playing.

Edit: It’s been actually 4 days. I would like some input into this situation going on in my life where I feel like I’m being ghosted. I may be overreacting, yet something feels off. This girl and I really hit it off the first meetup, it wasn’t a planned date but she asked if it was a date and then I said do you want it to be and she said yes all giddy jumping up and down. We found out we had many similar interests and were cracking up the whole night. She is bi and I’m lesbian. End of first date she says she wants to see me again, I ask her out on a second date it was lowkey and chill we eventually held hands and snuggled at the beach together, go out to eat,get some drinks go shopping. End of second date she asks ME for a third date and I say yes as I am interested. We have a date scheduled this week the thing is she hasn’t responded to my message in 3 days. Now I know she said she would be busy with certain stuff in her life but she is also at the same time making Instagram posts and stories the same period she hasn’t responded to me. I don’t want to freak out, I want to be respectful of her time, I did send a lil hey how’s it’s going text. Hasn’t responded yet, I think I am just anxious she doesn’t actually like me but I’m so confused because our dates went really well in my opinion. I’m not sure if she has dated a woman before she’s only talked about her ex-bf and how’s she attracted to this one guy from this show. I’m not sure my hearts kinda breaking and I’m worried I did something wrong. EDIT: Maybe I’m overthinking it but it is weird that in her chosen art form men are only depicted as love interest ? Also a girl complimented her while we were on our date and she got all blushy and shy the same way I complimented her before. Is that normal? I only get giddy and super melty blushy if I know them and have some sort of “relationship” with them which a type of relationship can be the dating phase. Not a random stranger personally but even having those thoughts are making me feel icky the jealously I never outwardly said anything. Maybe I’m the red flag? Thoughts? Questions?
Update: End of day 5 and no response I guess it’s over sadly

Haven't used the app in five years but decided to give it another go. Was setting up my profile and saw this is how they define lesbian. I'm not surprised really, but I immediately deleted the app.

Can we have anything?

I can’t imagine wanting to be a genuine BUM to my girlfriend…

Because she said she realized she was in love with my male roommate/ best friend who I introduced her to a couple of weeks ago. She said she realized she would never love me the me the way she fell in love with him after talking for 10 minutes. She told me the dates we had were the best in her life. She said she loved me in a way she had never loved someone before, and she felt seen for the first time. And then that. I swear I am only dating lesbians moving forwards.

It happened last night. I wanted to leave straight after she said that, but she insisted I stayed until the movie we were watching ended. SHE ASKED FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO APPEAL TO HIM 💀

I broke up with my ex a few months ago and it was for the best. I don't feel bad, or angry, I just feel tired. I feel like I put so much emotional energy into that relationship and did so much work that I can't even feel excited about the prospect of another relationship. I just real like I don't want anything too serious right now I just want to be cared for and have some of the work put into me for a change. Do you ladies ever feel this way?

Keeps getting deleted just wanna vent 😪

Why do men just not take lesbians sexuality seriously? Why do they think they can change our minds? Why do they think they are entitled to a woman because *they find her attractive? Like wtaf??

As someone who cuts my own hair I love watching barber videos for new tips and tricks and occasionally the cute stud/masc women getting a trim. But the comments are always absolutely fucking disgusting with a capital D I dont even open them anymore especially on Instagram omfg.

" Returns to factory settings." "I just see a woman bruh. Why they think cause they masc we can't flirt." "They be sneaking d." ​

And all kinda wild shit about the "lesbians" they turned out 🙄

Idk what these women's relationship with their barber is but they are so obviously uncomfortable cause he's making passes on camera, touching her face, inappropriate comments and it's so gross. And ik women being masc doesn't stop them from also feeling like they can't speak up in a vulnerable position and he is fully taking advantage of that. Something, something not all......

I just needed somewhere to vent about this cause I can't. Comments like that really piss me off for so many damn reasons. It's so infuriating and disrespectful. 🫤

I have been lurking on this sub. I must say I am proud to see a lot of lesbians, have the same thought process I do. I want a space for this as well maybe. Misandry is not talked about enough. It is the new way of feminism because the old way no longer works. Men constantly interrupting our spaces it is an attack of womanhood. Lesbians have to fight for our spaces and our voice. Why? Why is the term “lesbian” up for grabs? It’s fucking not. Gay men straight men bi men are all ruining spaces. I think we need to be more strict and aggressive about this. Women for YEARS have been meek, kind, let men tap dance all over them. I’m just done with this shit. I’m done with the women who stick up for them I’m tired of the constant male wallowing it’s fucking disgusting. I even searched for a sub Reddit that catered to misandrist. There isn’t a lot. Something has to be done.

Venting-

My dad pisses me off for a number of reasons but I won't say all of them.

Coming out to my dad wasn't necessary planned and he was was definitely not the first family member to find out. My mom, brother, grand mother, and cousins knew before him.

Recently he called and was ranting about things and had the AUDACITY to ask why I didn't want to tell him I was gay.

I started seeing my father consistently at age 12. Ive never had anything against him because of this.

I don't remember how the conversation about gay people came up, but after previously telling me "every girl should have a gay best friend" I mentioned that I had a friend who identified as bi at the time who also was a girl.

My dad then tried to convince me that wasn't ok because she might end up liking me. I genuinely didn't give a shit, because i also had male friends that ended up linking me and i didn't care.

"But thats natural" he says.

I then asked him would he stop being friends with his best friend if he were gay, he said "Hell yeah"

Didn't belive him until i found out he had actually done that to TWO gay friends.

He said he thinks anything that isn't natural is disgusting, and I said going to space isn't natural and he just left the room.

Next year I came to visit him, me and my sister were talking about basketball. My dad comes in and says he wished he could teach us basketball, but IMMEDIATELY said "no, I don't want yall to turn gay"

Despite being a child i thought that was the DUMBEST shit I have ever heard because a girl touching a ball doesn't magically make someone like puss puss.

Moving forward, we have a cousin. I don't like him because he's mean and nothing else.

My dad loves calling him the f slur every chance he gets, so i mean- 🤷🏾‍♀️

Moving FORWARD again, he took me shopping and I saw some rainbow slides i like. I wasn't thinking, "omg gay!" I just didn't have any slides and I didn't like solid color clothes.

We get them and he says. "Why'd you get those? You aren't gay are you?" Obviously I say no and he called them the pride slides.

Not relevant but maybe it is? I don't know. At the time he was dating a bisexual woman who was also dating a stud. I didn't care that they had an open relationship and his girlfriend was really cool, but his girlfriend's girlfriend introduces herself by saying "hi im (name) me and your dad share (girlfriend)" I thought it was gross but also kinda funny? Like I said, i don't know if thats relevant.

Fast forward again.

F slur, f slur.

"I don't like all this gay shit they had" in castelvania and the 100. Both shows we watch.

More f slur.

Ooga booga, man like woman, woman like man, ooga booga.

He thought I was asexual at some point, and he either doesn't know what that means, or he doesn't actually take the sexuality seriously because all i said was, "im just not worried about dating right now"

He follows up with "thats not normal, you need help." Saying all this shit and im not asexual?????

The irony is that my grandma, HIS MOM knew, and assumed my mom knew.

One day, I happened to be near by while my mom was on the phone with my grandma. (I was an adult at this point) I had no clue what they were talking about, but i was kinda just listening in every so often.

I don't know the context but my grandma said "well, whenever she finds a boyfriend!- or girlfriend, or whatever!"

I could hear my dad cursing my grandma out and calling her weird. When she said she was on the phone with my mom, he told her and my mom they can shut the fuck up-

Keep in mind, I'm a grown ass woman now, so who gives a fuck???

Fast forward again, he calls me yapping about men and ooga booga, man because natural. Oogabooga why don't you have a boyfriend?

I was pissed and asked "do you actually want to know?"

At this point I was ready to say whatever. I was gonna say "im gay and it's your fault" even though thats a lie. Ive been gay since I was three and I barely remembered him.

But he says he does want to know so I just tell him "I don't like men"

Him: "Oh. Ok. That's fine"

Bullshit. I don't belive him. He still says the f slur and can't grasp that gender norms don't apply to me because no matter if I date a masc or a fem, we aren't conforming to shit.

He'll call me to give "advice" for dating. But the "ooga booga man do this woman do this" just doesn't hold up because WE'RE BOTH WOMEN??????

And when he tries you can tell he doesn't know what the FUCK he's talking about.

I just needed to get that out.

No I can't tell him all this because he'll just pretend he didn't do it. So he will never know why i didn't want to tell him.

I don't hate my dad, but I also just don't want to see him, or talk to him or have him meet my friends or significant others, or talk to my mother, or interact with my art, writing, pets, or anything because ontop of the homophobia he is actually so draining.

I feel like if I see him in person hes gonna get drunk and try to "talk me out of being gay" because he wants grandkids.

Lots of stuff I can't say here, but yeah, thats it. Thank for reading, gang.

Is it just me or is it really hard to find other lesbians? I know SOOOO many bi women, like a literal endless amount. I have fem bi friends, masc bi friends, bi friends who only date women, bi friends who only date men, yet I don’t know any other lesbians. I would try to befriend more masculine looking women because I thought that gave me a better chance of finding a lesbian but they’re all bisexual as well. and my one friend I had who was a lesbian came out to me as bi about a month ago. Why is everyone bisexual?! And then to make matters worse i’ll get online and see “lesbians” talking about how they love dick or sleep with men when they’re bored. Where have all the lesbians gone 😔.

I just hooked up with a girl who kindaaa has a pos boyfriend (I know I know 😣). I didn't think they were
together currently because they're on and off, but I found out afterwards that apparently they are.. Not that it makes much of a difference

We see each other daily, and we've been flirting for a while, so I thought maybe we could hook up occasionally and it be cool.

Not!!! 😭 The whole time that we were having sex, she kept telling me that she loved me and telling me how much she cares about me. Now keeps wanting to see me again, but in the same breath is accusing me of things and is talking about I'M messing with HER??

I let myself slip by getting wrapped up in this one, but I don’t understand how I've somehow ended up being both the side piece and the manipulator here.

Does anyone have any advice on how to combat this? I try to ignore it but I just can’t. Dating as a lesbian is hopeless. I’ve gone on a few dates and dated several women and it’s never ever ever went well. What’s going on? The dating pool is filled with pseudo liberals, noncommittal people, women who think showing interest means you’re some weird clingy unhinged weirdo, male centered freaks, and so on. There’s absolutely no use. The best luck I’ve found it searching abroad but if I’m being honest, as a black woman there are other things I gotta deal with (such as colorism and a not as accepting to LGBTQ culture). I feel like I’m doomed to being single forever. People told me; get hobbies, focus on your future, focus on work, blah blah blah. I have a million hobbies… I play instruments, I game, I do Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, I tinker on my car, I code in my free time. I have a decent career in STEM. I’m planning on going to graduate school. I’m fit, I’m smart. I’m going everything “right” but it doesn’t matter if you’re surrounded by people who don’t give a shit about any of that. I have no idea how to combat this rage and frustration.