I spent my entire 20's stoned. And If im being completely honest, it stopped me from ending myself. Now at 30 my brain feels a lot different. Maybe it's true Adhd brains mature in their 30's and ive been sober for the first time in a long time rightnow.

Today marks one full year since I took my last bong rip, and it’s a milestone I never thought I’d reach.
For 14 years, I was a chronic cannabis user, basically all day, every day. I didn’t even try weed until I finished grad school, but once I started, it didn’t take long for it to become a part of virtually everything I did.

I smoked when I woke up, before bed, when I got up to pee in the middle of the night, when I went hiking, when I went to the gym, when I went to work, before movies, and before and during meals. There was hardly a part of my day that didn’t involve cannabis in some way.

It went from having no place in my life to becoming everything in my life. It was woven into my routines, my identity, and the way I experienced the world.
I’d tried to quit several times over the years, but I always found my way back to using. Last year, around this time, I started seriously wanting something different. I made at least half a dozen attempts to quit, but I never made it more than a day or two.

There was always some bullshit excuse to start again.
Then, on October 24th, 2025, I took my last bong rip.
I’m honestly not sure what was different this time. I just know that, for the first time, I truly wanted to quit for myself.

I leaned heavily into r/leaves. I went back and read as many posts as I could, looking for advice, reassurance, and a reminder that I wasn’t the only person going through this. Reading about other people’s struggles, withdrawal symptoms, setbacks, and successes helped me feel less alone. This community became a source of support and strength through those first few months, and I don’t think I can overstate how much that helped.

The first two weeks were hell. I barely slept for the first week, and I could hardly eat for the first month until my appetite finally came back. Once I started sleeping normally again, I experienced intensely vivid dreams for about two months. Somewhere along the way, I found that pink cloud people talk about, and for a while, things actually started to feel easier.

But around three or four months in, I started convincing myself that maybe I was past my addiction. I seriously considered going back to using, telling myself I could keep it under control and just smoke while hiking or on weekends. Maybe I could finally be one of those people who could use in moderation.

I made a post here asking you guys about it, and you gave me exactly the advice I needed to hear: I was fooling myself. After 14 years of using the way I did, there was little reason to believe I could suddenly moderate it. I’d probably end up right back where I’d started.

It wasn’t worth playing with fire.

I’m incredibly grateful I listened. A year later, I know there’s a very good chance I’d be starting all over again if I’d decided to give moderation a try.
There’s something I’ve learned through hiking that I think applies just as much to recovery.

I’ve walked from Mexico to Canada twice now, covering almost 10,000 miles on long-distance trails. I’ve crossed deserts, climbed mountains, pushed through exhaustion, and kept moving when the finish line seemed impossibly far away.

But I never started either of those hikes truly believing I could walk all the way from Mexico to Canada. When you’re standing at the beginning of a journey that’s thousands of miles long, the enormity of it can be overwhelming.

Instead, I focused on what I knew I could do. I could take one more step. I could walk one more mile. And when I finished that mile, I could probably walk another.

Eventually, those steps become miles. Miles become days. One mile becomes a hundred, a hundred becomes a thousand, and eventually, you find yourself standing at the Canadian border, looking back at a journey you once couldn’t imagine completing.

I think recovery works much the same way.

When I first quit, I couldn’t imagine never smoking weed again. The thought of living the rest of my life without something that had been part of virtually every day for 14 years was overwhelming. Thinking about forever made the whole thing feel impossible.
But I didn’t need to figure out forever. I just needed to get through that day.

Then the next one.

And then the next.

I didn’t get to a year by knowing I could do it all at once. I got here by continuing to move forward, even when I couldn’t see very far down the trail.
And now, a year later, my life is better in ways I couldn’t fully appreciate when I was still using.
I think more clearly. I sleep better. I communicate better. I’m more present with my friends and family, my breathing feels clearer, and my business is thriving in ways I can now recognize cannabis was holding me back from achieving.

Most importantly, I feel like I’m actually showing up for my own life again.

I know there are people who can use cannabis in moderation, and I have no problem with that. But I’ve had to accept that moderation isn’t a realistic option for me. After 14 years of compulsive use, recognizing that truth has potentially saved me from spending another 14 years missing out on some of the most important parts of my life.

When I quit last October, I never would have believed I’d make it this far. Now, recovery has become just as important a part of my life as consuming cannabis once was, and I honestly can’t see how going back makes sense for me.

I don’t spend nearly as much time on Reddit anymore, but I wanted to come back here today to say thank you. I genuinely don’t know if I could have made it through those first couple of months without the support and guidance I found in this community.
Thank you for sharing your experiences, being honest about the hard parts, and offering advice when I needed it. When I was struggling to believe in myself, reading your stories helped me believe that getting free was possible.

To anyone who’s just starting out, I want you to know that you don’t have to figure out how you’re going to make it through the rest of your life. You don’t even have to believe you can make it another year.
You just have to get through today.

The beginning can be brutal. You might struggle to sleep, struggle to eat, question whether it’s worth it, and convince yourself that you can go back and do things differently. But keep going. It doesn’t stay that way forever.

I’m incredibly proud of this milestone, not because a year is some magical number, but because of what it represents: choosing myself, showing up for my life, and learning that I’m capable of letting go of something I once thought I couldn’t live without.

I’ve walked from Mexico to Canada twice. I never had to believe I could complete the entire journey on day one. I just had to believe I could keep walking.

If you’re at day one, day three, or day thirty, you don’t have to walk the whole trail today. Just take the next step.

One step at a time. One day at a time. One year down. Here’s to freedom.

I did it. 1 year since the last smoke. I had a massive note thread full of thoughts over the past 12 months that I wanted to condense into one super long post, but I won’t do that right now. I’ve tried quitting so many times over the years I’ve stopped focusing on sticking with it. Which helped paradoxically. Saying to myself that when I hit this milestone I’ll post here had been one of the things getting me through. Especially in the beginning, this sub has had a major impact on my journey, and I couldn’t be more grateful for this community.

The past year has been full of ups and downs, and I was so, so close to saying yes to that one toke at a party or ordering up when my life sucked. But I persevered. And today the days, weeks and months turn into the first year. Funnily enough, stopped when life started to suck a lot more than it did before. Figured if I didn’t, my mental health would take a nosedive, and I’m pretty sure I avoided a major mental blackhole by sticking through with it. If I could, you can too💪🏽 Today I’ll celebrate with some candy and soda, which I couldn’t dream of enjoying without having a smoke a year ago. But today, the thought of having a smoke before having a treat like that doesn’t even cross my mind. And honestly, it feels great.

hi, im 23F and i smoked weed for 10 years. yes, i started right before i turned 13. very sad.

i quit 4 days ago, and it’s really rough. i cannot eat, like at all. i have noooo appetite. i force myself to eat when i start to feel weak or shaky, but can only get a few bites in. bone broth has been keeping me alive tbh.

also, i cannot fall asleep until like 5-6am, and i wake up around 12, no dreams, with an intense sinking in my chest.

i’m also super constipated. anyone feel this way? i feel like im dying after 4 days of not eating or sleep much.

also my temperature is UP and DOWN!!

irrelevant, but maybe not: i’m also going threw mild alcohol withdrawals because i used to drink abt 4-5 days a week, and i’d go HARD!

just wanna know if you relate, and any advice is welcome. thanks.

I’m 24 hours in cold turkey working a night shift and all emotional. Little background I have been Cali sober for 3 years I’m 4 and a half years clean from everything else and booze. Cali sober ain’t it. I have been silently struggling mentally and wanting to take this leap. Yesterday I tossed out two grams of rosin and set sail for the week of hell. I know it’ll get better. Started at 14 and by 16 was scraping my pipe. Now 34 and there’s so much more. Guess I gotta make a discord account.

Better in everyway compared to addiction. No more racing to the dispensary before they close because heaven forbid, I couldn't my fix for 12 hours. Pathetic past version of myself I no longer identify with. All the best to everybody reading this and stay strong. Let's not forget why we quit this drug or want too.

Back on my journey but damn today feels really hard. It's not even the cravings I just feel really depleted, unmotivated, exhausted. Depression really hitting today but I'm just accepting it. I meditated and I'm going to just be easy on myself. I guess I'd rather feel like this than be stoned.

I've smoked since age 16, turned 40 last week. I quit once in my early 20s and that lasted for about 5 years. I only quit that time due to having my first full blown panic attack and having no knowledge of what was happening and literally thought I was dying. That scared me enough to stop cold turkey. I picked it back up in my late 20s and I got back to daily use around covid time.

I have wanted to quit for about a year now, I'd tell myself every single time I would smoke, "you have got to stop", "you have zero willpower", "you are just treading water in this life with smoking away your evenings and zoning out into various screens", etc. Beating myself up every... single...day. The nail in the coffin for me was when I hit an impossible plateau in my weight loss journey. (For context I've had A LOT of weight to lose, have lost 135 lbs so far with about 100 to go). I lived in harmony with nightly munchies and a continuous drop in weight for about 15 months. Then I plateaud for 3 months straight and decided no more. I could not defeat the munchie monster, I tried all the ways and failed. So I decided to start weaning off slowly over a month.

I went from smoking about 2-3gs in the bong a day to half that for a week, then half that for a week, and so on. My last week I got down to 2 puffs off a pipe a day, then I was down to my last nug and I said "I'm going to keep you just to prove I can". I still have it stashed away.

First 3 days were feeling a little fiendish, irritable and the often discussed 4K HD dreams. The dreams and irritability leveled off pretty fast within the end of the first week, then came a semi manic 2 weeks of starting lofty home improvement projects to keep myself busy through the evenings when I was craving it the most. That's the biggest recommendation I would give to others. Keep. Yourself. Busy! Up until bedtime, until you crash for the day. I chose meditative activities/projects like painting my bathroom for example. The only other noticeable withdrawal symptom I've had was the body temp regulation. I'd have bouts of freezing cold randomly, to the point it's put on full sweats/sweater and get under 3 blankets and shiver... that lasted about 2 weeks, usually once or twice a day.

I hit 1 month clean 5 days ago, and it's been roughly 10 days now that the cravings have disappeared and I don't think about it at all most evenings now. If you are thinking about quitting and have been for AWHILE like myself, the first 24hrs is the hardest (and in the grand scheme I wouldn't even say it's 'hard' it's just different and boring really, but that is absolutely my personal opinion, I know it varies wildly for everyone). I'm settling into that general malaise that others here have mentioned, but it's mild and I know it will pass, it's just my brain repairing itself! I do feel much more clear headed, no more blah morning hangovers, my memory is slowly improving along with better feeling in my lungs AND my weight-loss has resumed, 7 lbs down since quit date and still going strong.

General list of what worked for myself: Keeping busy through the boredom, having a list of activities to do, Some treat yourself purchases as a sobriety reward (with ALL the money you are saving!), Trusting in the knowing that the initial withdrawal is temporary and things will level off soon. If you think its time to stop and you feel it in your soul, go for it, take the leap.

I’ve been smoking weed for the past 9-10 years but not daily. Initial years, I did like 1-2 times a week single bong hit. Then sometimes not smoking for months and then doing it for a week taking a break then doing it again on weekends. I have never been doing it in a day, always after finishing all work/tasks and before dinner.

Now recently, I started doing THC Vapes this year and I did use it 4-5 days in a week, a few puffs in the evening. I have never experienced any symptoms or any withdrawals, I would probably be sober again in midnight before going to bed. It was like having a beer in the evening.

This year has been stressful due to financial reasons and constant stress in personal life. I have started to notice, now whenever I do it, I start to feel scared and anxious. I would start to think about all things that caused stress in the first place and started imagining worst possible case scenarios, ending up doom scrolling the phone till I pass out instead of going through those thoughts.

I'm coming to conclusion it's no longer a fun or stress free time for me like it used it be. Just sharing personal experience and your thoughts, if you have ever been in the same situation?

Hi everyone. Not a regularly Reddit poster, but I used this sub around 2 years ago when I quit the first time. Reading everyone’s stories very much inspired me to stop smoking after about 3 years, and it worked! Unfortunately, 6 months later I relapsed after starting a new job to “celebrate” and haven’t stopped since. I have now smoked again for about a year and a half (mostly carts) and I caught myself scrolling through this sub again having thoughts of becoming sober again. I remember the first time quitting the insomnia was the worst part for me, so I’m just looking to see if anyone has found any answers to help aid that. The cravings I can handle, but being awake for 24 hour days then having to go to a 9-5 as a zombie is what’s holding me back, but if that’s the sacrifice to quit then I’m willing to do it.

you can, too

I'm 9 days into sobriety and while I feel good 90% of the time - much better than I did when on weed - I am insanely irritable. While I definitely do have a lot of anger in me already, withdrawal has supercharged it. My road rage is even worse than it was before and I can't lose a game of chess without completely losing my shit. It's so bad I've been close to punching holes in the wall and my monitor at times.

If you're wondering, I am in therapy. But man I hope this irritability eases up soon because I'm scared of losing control on the road. I actually did lose control of myself the other day while driving, and took a turn so aggressively that I hit the curb very hard. I was very very lucky not to have any car damage, as I am broke. But man how long before something really bad happens?

can anyone share sleep hacks that worked this is getting ridiculous…

Really struggling at 5 months. I smoked for 22 years and I haven’t felt better at all. I feel sick my muscles ach still not sleeping 4 hours a night at best I have anxitey. I have had blood tests and scans and comes back normal I seem to tense my jaw a lot and seem to have no energy. I really don’t no what to do. I really need to sort somthing out since stopping I feel like I’m losing my mind where I feel so crap. Today at work I had to drive in to London I felt like I was having bad anxiety and just felt zero energy. And I’m sitting here now my legs are aching just really want to feel good again. Going to go back to the doctor again by like I say all tests keep coming back good. I never ever thought it would be like this 😞😞🫣

I’ve been smoking weed since I was young, and it’s been going on for at least 4 or 5 years consistently, every day without fail. Recently I ran out of weed and couldn’t get more, so I decided maybe it was my sign to quit. That was around Friday. It’s currently Tuesday, and I’ve been having the worst anxiety, horrible appetite, and throwing up anything being put into my system. I was just wondering if anyone else experienced this, and if so when will I start feeling better?? I feel so defeated.

I quit weed about 5 months ago and I’ve kind of had mixed results. My life didn’t magically improve overnight but on the other hand after leaving it behind, I know I don’t ever want to become addicted to it again. Since quitting I’ve started dating someone and she’s training to be a primary school teacher. Needless to say she’s not into drugs at all or even drinking for that matter. I had already quit for a few months before I met her so imo it didn’t seem necessary to mention that I used to smoke a lot of weed. Anyways this roommate was living with me throughout my deepest point of addiction and he’s more or less still at that point (can’t sleep without smoking spends >$100 on it p/w etc). We’re all in our early 20’s and our house is a stereotypical aussie sharehouse but this one feature of the omnipresent unwashed bong just really annoys me. I do feel bad though because I feel like I’m kind of moving the goal posts on him. It wasn’t that long ago that I would get home after work and take a rip from this same disgusting communal bong. My girlfriend has only visited a handful of times so far but each time I had to hide this bong of his because he just leaves it on our communal table all day and I figured that was easier than leaving it there and having to explain that this drug paraphernalia wasn’t mine. He leaves it on our communal table out on the patio so at least it isn’t smoking the whole house out but at this point I’d rather compromise and just tell him to smoke in his room because he’s the only one who smokes weed in our house anymore and I’m sick of worrying about being associated with it. Yeah bit of a waffle but has anyone else dealt with resistance on a similar issue? I’ve spoken to him about this before and he’ll take my advice for a few days but then just eventually go back to carelessly leaving this thing out in the open.

I have been smoking for maybe 5-6 years.

Lately I haven't felt the "high" so I quit for a week.

I was nauseous and had a headache. And then I started feeling clearer and my brain started functioning again.

Unfortunately I had a big fight with my boyfriend. Started smoking again, and my heart rushed. It felt like my heart was going to explode.

I calm myself down, but continue to smoke for the next couple of days.

Again didn't feel the high, so now I stopped again for 2 days.

Whats your best tips for not start again.

I feel fine now BTW! ❤️

been smoking weed for 5 years now i’m 23m. The bad thing about it is that i have weed pens. I use them all day every day. I’ll go in high at work7am until i get off. I need it to feel like someone and something. Smoking has brought me around some good people(at least i thought) and now i need to disassociate myself.

So I stopped cold Turkey 11th of this month. The first two weeks weren’t too bad. I’m 38 and have quit multiple times in the past. Last time I quit was from edibles and I noticed an immediate shift in mood but that went away.

This time I have been vaping high % medicinal everyday for 5 or so years. It feels completely different. In the last week or so I have had a sudden rush of crying episodes, I’m sleeping ok but when I wake up in the middle of the night I’m met with intense feelings of doom. On top of that my eczema has flared up to a point that I haven’t seen before and I’m increasingly worried it will get infected.

Has anyone had a delay in symptoms like this?

Hello,

I was a decade long daily smoker

I made the choice to quit. I want to be clean.

It started off rough. Insomnia, headaches, irritability, mood swings.

Every where online tells me first few days are the worst

But its been getting worse not better with time. Sunday and Monday (day 4 and 5) my nights would end with me spontaneously feeling more tired than Id ever felt drspite it not even being that late. I was luckily able to get sleep last night but now its day 6 and I woke up feeling just as tired as the nigh before. Even worse I feel feverish, my face is red (from the internal heat), my heart rate is up, and I have the shakes. The timeliness I see online say I should be on the up and uo for physiological symptoms already? Have they just not considered how long term a user I was?

Any reassurance. Im scared. I dont plan to hit it again but I need to know if this is withdrawal or something else. Help

28F, first tried weed at 19. Stopped for a bit when I was overseas at 22. Dated someone who was a heavy smoker and it really steered me towards the worst. Became a daily thing. Basically chain smoking for 6-7 hours a day…

This year I broke up with him, moved cities, and have been reevaluating my life.

I am chronically ill, and pot has been the one thing that reliably helps me with symptoms. However, I have totally lost control. My brain is deteriorating, my lungs are feeling it, and I just don’t want to live (like this, anyway) anymore!

Right now, I’m early in my reduction plan, leading to quitting. But it’s SO HARD!!! I feel horrible. I’m so nauseous, achey, and irritable. (And I’m also trying to reduce my screen time at the same time…. Maybe that’s a mistake tho…)

I haven’t talked to anyone IRL about my issue… I’m embarrassed. But I’m glad I found this community. It’s so nice to read your stories.

I feel like crap, but my head is already a bit clearer. I can see glimpses of my future, of a life that’s closer to what I want. I TRULY believe that this will be the key to turning things around and actually chasing my dreams instead of whining about hating my life. I can’t wait to see what I can do once I’m on the other side.

Some things I’m trying:

- journaling
- busy-hand hobbies (cross stitch,paint by numbers, etc.)
- movement (dance & walking)
- gentle parenting myself lol (self compassion!!)
- candies, gum, etc. to keep mouth busy
- rewards for little wins, because they do stack up!
- seeing people, even if I feel like shit

And importantly on the chronic illness note:

- REST. Being careful not to overwork myself to the point I flare and feel like I NEED it to survive.

I’m very scared for what’s still to come, but I’m also excited to take my power back.

anyone else experienced this? felt stoned when i woke up after having a dream that i smoked. it wasnt just the normal grogginess of waking up lol.

on day 19 btw!

i am currently 18 (f) and i have been smoking weed nearly every day for over 4 years now. i regret getting into it at such a young age, but thats another story.

earlier this year, i was diagnosed with PTSD, which has completely taken over my life in every possible way. i struggle daily with derealization, and recently my close friends have told me that i should take a break from smoking because they believe it is only adding to my problems.

i understand where they are coming from, i know that weed can easily destroy your sense of self as well as your sense of time and reality, especially if used all day every day as i do, but i don’t know if this huge wave of derealization is really because of the weed or because of my immense trauma.

even before my traumatic event, i had a difficult time being alone and sober. i felt as though i could only ever handle one or the other. i still feel that way. i didn’t smoke at all yesterday and had one of the worst days i’ve had in a while. i cannot stand being alone when im sober, i hate myself more than i think anyone will ever know, but i just want to feel better, so im trying this now.

i guess that im here looking for a sign that things are going to get better. i feel so alone, even though i know that other people are experiencing my same pain, i don’t know how to make myself feel better without just numbing myself to everything.

yesterday i admitted for the first time that i cannot control the amount of weed that i smoke. i used to argue that i could control it, but that i chose to smoke every second. im now realizing that i am not making the conscious choice, but that this substance has a complete hold of me now and has completely destroyed my ability to feel okay without it.

if anyone has any advice on how they got through these feelings, i am all ears (or eyes i suppose). thank you for hearing me.

Year long smoker, I used to vape constantly but I’ve since at least (I guess) moved to mostly edibles and flower. Everytime I quit I feel like my mind is racing at 100 miles per minute. I feel like I forget things constantly, I’m tripping over my words and unable to get my thoughts out. Not to mention I end up hyperfixating on something whenever I quit. Sometimes I’ll hyperfixate on a video game or horror movies, but sometimes I fixate on politics and holy shit I get so irritated and depressed. Like just hopeless. Anyway… I recently quit for 3 days but unfortunately just relapsed 🫠

But whenever I do relapse, I feel like I see what the problem is, I feel more empathetic and calm, cool, and collected. It’s like my biggest excuse for relapsing because I honestly act real miserable when I quit and I don’t want to be a miserable person lol

Spent the whole day hitting my friends nicotine vape today since I forgot my pack of cigarettes, went in his car and grabbed the wrong vape that looks identical to his weed vape and took a puff.

I feel a little high but I’m soo fucking pissed right now, I went through hell the last two weeks and my sleep finally stabilized.

Is this going to set me back?