r/kitchencels • • Feb 03 '26

official twitter location now serving twitterslop

Post image
188 Upvotes

someone reached out to the mod team and informed us some repost account snagged the @ for kitchencels and was using their checkmark to earn elonbuxx off our beloved community

we didn't exactly want to just run our own repost account, the community aspect is more important we felt, so as the only mod that has an active twitter i was bullied into starting a subtweddit to A, hopefully redirect some of the twitter tourists lurking here (yes, you) so they stop shitting up the place, B, provide some insurance for the downtrodden chuddies in case reddit ever decides to come for us, and C, a sinister third reason privy only to the elites of the kitchencel khanate

elon is allegedly free speech so you can probably post some of those things we've had to reject out of obligatory janny responsibilities

we don't really know if this will turn out funny or worthwhile and we may just pull the plug if it ends up not being worth our time

the chefs are in the kitchen, trust the recipe

enjoy the rest of your meal, chuddies


r/kitchencels • • Aug 06 '25

GET IN THE FUCKING KITCHEN YOU INSUFFERABLE MAGGOTS

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

2.5k Upvotes

GET IN THE KITCHEN

GET IN FUCKING KITCHEN AND COOK LIKE YOUR GOD DAMN LIFE DEPENDS ON IT

IF YOU AREN'T COOKING YOU ARE NOTHING

THIS IS YOUR ONLY HOPE OF SALVATION, THIS IS YOUR ABSOLUTION

YOU ARE ALL PATHETIC, START COOKING


r/kitchencels • • 1d ago

Platemogged Asked a fat girl for her number and she laughed at me. Just want someone over 300 pounds

Post image
262 Upvotes

Overcooked chicken and undercooked rice. No seasonings because I don’t deserve flavour.
Why is it so hard to get with an obese chick?


r/kitchencels • • 1d ago

I just want a woman who is as autistic and terminally online as I am.

Post image
928 Upvotes

r/kitchencels • • 1d ago

Platemogged Will never get a girlfriend because of my chronic consumption of futa hentai depressed I stay indoors all day, microwaved mince meat with chilli cheese slices

Thumbnail
gallery
156 Upvotes

r/kitchencels • • 1d ago

Family of three (m30, f28, f9) left their house unlocked during their morning walk so I let myself inside

Thumbnail
gallery
441 Upvotes

All I found inside the house was three bowls of porridge

the left one burnt my mouth and the middle one was ice cold but the one on the right was just right


r/kitchencels • • 1d ago

Platemogging Foidmaxxing by becoming increasingly unfuckable through complete social isolation

Post image
44 Upvotes

Fruit to sustain another 14 hours of fictional intimacy through xReader fanfic to maintain my rapidly deteriorating will to live


r/kitchencels • • 1d ago

I'm not even ugly or short I'm just so fucking autistic and can't talk to people. Scrambled eggs with sausage and cheddar cheese.

Post image
63 Upvotes

Title sums it up. I might as well be an alien. I have to cast my mind back to be earliest memories to when I wasn't even 8 years old to remember a time I've actually been treated equal to the average person my age.

When I started university I started lifting weights and keeping a good diet, and got a better haircut. I ascended to chadlite imo, I also got extremely lucky with height genetics. It didn't help.

Every new person I'd speak to at uni they'd be all jolly and friendly for the first 10 seconds, then they realise I'm a freak and their tone changes. I can actually see the moment they decide I'm a worthless retard and not a person.

I've graduated now, I'm a 21 year old khhv with a first class degree in electrical engineering from one of the best unis in England. Everything in life that doesn't involve other people has got fantastically.

Anyways I'm trying to start my own product to get rich, as if that's going to help any more than getting shredded or handsome did. It's just cope but at least I'll be able to get a nice house or something.

Thank you for reading my chudpost

I'm not going to kill myself dw❤️


r/kitchencels • • 2d ago

Platemogged Saw many people complaining about roommates having sex, my complaint is that roomie's new bf doesn't fuck as loudly as the last ones, so I don't hear anything anymore

Post image
1.2k Upvotes

(bro also not an exhibitionist so I can't even watch)


r/kitchencels • • 1d ago

I call it "horse goop" and it's not as bad as it looks

Post image
128 Upvotes

r/kitchencels • • 1d ago

Platemogging no matter how much i wipe it never comes out clean

Post image
138 Upvotes

I eat plenty of fiber for reference
Those times where i go to wipe and it comes out clean I get a lil dopamine rush


r/kitchencels • • 1d ago

I really wish to be euthanised. Purée with tomato sauce and chicken.

Post image
160 Upvotes

All health problems, no health insurance, no job, no friends, no life, no intelligence, no love.

been socially isolated for almost 7 years, never seen the sun for a year. I'm starting to feel like my mind is decaying.

I've been getting more suicidal ideations lately, (I'm not going to do anything because I'm a coward, though i have plans in the future), my mental health is just deteriorating, but I can't see a therapist because my family doesn't give a damn about mental health. To top it off, I extremely hate my body but I would have to keep living in it since I can't leave this country. I can never catch a break.

Feel far from Jesus and hated by God. God allowed it that I suffer but didn't allow me to die. Every part of my life feels like God was having a bad day when he created me. Bold of me to assume that He even pays attention to me in the first place.

I've been repressing my sadness for so long it's become anger.

If animals in terrible conditions and no hope get euthanised, then why not let people do it, too?

I hate how governments and people pretend to care about human life while keeping suffering people alive.

But at the end of the day I don't matter and my suffering is not unique. I have to get over it..

Just needed to get this off of my chest.

I guess it's time to pick up my Bible once again. I've been feeling like reading the book of Job.


r/kitchencels • • 2d ago

I’ve got off to my roommate and her bf fucking in the bottom bunk

Post image
406 Upvotes

They either don’t even notice that I’m on the top bunk because of the high safety or they either don’t give a shit. I pretty much just lie in bed when I’m not in class or at the gym so I think people just forget I’m there. they’ve fucked five times in my presence so far and I decided to just say fuck it and enjoy the sound around the third. I’m meant to b a cuck. there’s nothing in life I look forward to except to my daily slop meal and my shitty stale cigarettes


r/kitchencels • • 1d ago

Platemogging Friend on a call was asking me for advice on what to do about a fling that won’t stop bothering him. He is so clueless I, a kkhv, had to help him write the messages to tell her to stop. Bolognese

Post image
104 Upvotes

Hi all. Second time posting.

He knows I get zero play but he still comes to be for these things so I just larp. Coaches don’t play so on and so forth.

Unrelated but have you guys seen the discourse on Twitter about that cartoon of a girl rejecting dudes at different ages? Obviously different perspectives, but as a collective, every method of engaging in a relationship seems to have detractors.

Friends to lovers? Nope, you’re a creep for being into your friend and you’re actually exploiting them cause you’re “only friends to sleep with them”

Cold open? Nope, you’re a random stranger weirdo

Coworker/classmate? Nope, it’s inappropriate (which I do agree with) and becoming friends outside of that space links back to the first point.

Dating app? Nope, objectively shallow form of starting a relationship.

The only one I haven’t seen being mentioned was being introduced through a friend.

I’m not gonna pretend I know much about this. I still have a fundamental lack of understanding and interest in romantic relationships outside of a status symbol. But it just makes no sense. There’s no way to reconcile these things. What is the average dude actually supposed to do? Short of a girl coming up to you there’s no way to not be perceived as being a creep by at least some people.


r/kitchencels • • 1d ago

Dating apps are a horrible experience

Post image
26 Upvotes

Feeling very insecure, after being on there days finally had good energy with someone close by we met up at a bad and talked for a couple hours I thought it was fine but I guess I wasn't good enough company as they said they didn't feel anything romantic towards me but in a bit of a ruder way then that.

It's so fucking annoying texting was great but idk I guess I'm just worse and look worse in person ffs ;/

How the fucj do you act romantic? I was just being my batch as self I dony wanna pretend to be someone I'm not more then I already am

And everyone's so fucking slow to reply on them like Jesus

Update: matched and chatting to another girl, good chemistry again and they texted me first to bur after moving off tinder afterca few messages they stopped replying, I keep checking every 20 to 40 mibs like a dog waiting for its owner to come home I'm so pathetic


r/kitchencels • • 1d ago

My childhood love for yodelling has been choked and drowned by the expectations of the world

Post image
41 Upvotes

Boiled from frozen, supermarket pierogi with cheese and potato filling - 3/10. Absolute dogwater taste. Couldnt even tell it had any cheese in them so added a slice of the ol' reliable (gouda). Couldnt be bothered to melt the cheese so just added a bit of ketchup cause it made everything palatable.


r/kitchencels • • 1d ago

Platemogged Sent multiple paragraphs venting to my friend about my childhood trauma and he replied “this real? lol” and moved on with the conversation. Random bullshit in a salad and a glass of milk.

Post image
17 Upvotes

I’m afraid of opening up to people and when I do I always get hurt. Oh, you think you’re trans? Don’t think I could love you anymore. You think life sucks? Please stop being dramatic, just be positive! Therapy not going well? Why do you even bother with it anyways, I don’t need therapy! Antidepressants not working well for you? Please stop talking about it it’s making me depressed lol!!!!!!!!!!

I’m so alone I’m so alone I’m so alone I’m so alone I’m so alone I’m so alone I’m so alone I’m so alone I’m so alone I’m so alone I’m so alone I’m so alone I’m so alone I’m so alone I’m so alone I’m so alone I’m so alone I’m so alone I’m so alone I’m so alone


r/kitchencels • • 1d ago

Girl I have a crush on just gave me the nastiest look I’ve seen in my life. Steak Quesadillas with lime cilantro rice

Post image
143 Upvotes

r/kitchencels • • 1d ago

Platemogging Incels really should be in higher demand for casual hookups

Post image
22 Upvotes

they don’t have STDs so no fussing with condoms. and since they’re so desperate you can probably convince them to eat the kitty. who’s my closest khhv cutie?

meanwhile chad is riddled with STDs and STIs and ABCs and just might stealth you if you ask him to wear a condom. let alone giving a damn about your sexual satisfaction whatsoever

i mean if you’re gonna end up disappointed anyway, might as well give to charity

cottage cheese toastie with sugar free jam on sourdough


r/kitchencels • • 1d ago

Apparently I had to be made ugly

Post image
54 Upvotes

I don’t really know what to say, I don’t think things will ever get better. I’m doubt that things were even good at one point. I’m just a waste of space, even my dish is mid as fuck.

I’m ugly, do studies that probably won’t matter anymore and the worst part is that I try, I do try to go outside and meet new people like they all say… it just never works, trial is becoming a synonym of failure for me.


r/kitchencels • • 1d ago

Life must be so easy if your heartless (it's a fucking mcburged)

Post image
15 Upvotes

r/kitchencels • • 1d ago

Takeoutmaxxed My mom got mad at me because I didn’t stand up to my team. I wish I could’ve told her that I can’t because I’m the ugliest on the team and no one cares about my opinion. Chipotle.

Post image
6 Upvotes

If I ever find a girl who loves me for me, I’d take her to the moon.


r/kitchencels • • 1d ago

Platemogging Ken was right. He is always going to be the mega knight to my little prince. Bologna sandwich

Post image
6 Upvotes

r/kitchencels • • 1d ago

Does she think of me even half as much as I think of her? Fried slop and a sandwich

Post image
55 Upvotes

r/kitchencels • • 1d ago

My only friends all made a post in discord of drawings of me as a fat chud and it just made me more self hating (soup with rice added)

Post image
11 Upvotes