Assalamu alaikum,

Alhamdulillah, I took my shahada today over the phone with my local masjid, and I'm visiting in person this Friday. I'm feeling grateful, and mostly hopeful as I begin this new chapter.

Any advice on beginner-friendly resources or finding a community would mean a lot 🙂

Jazak’Allah,
- Shizra

I'm not an atheist. I believe there's "something" beyond us. I just don't know what it is. I am truly lost and alone, so I've been seeking answers and meaning... by any definition, I've been a sinner all my life, I do not deserve your help or your prayers, but here I am, asking for it anyway.

If you can show me the light, if you can, please, help a lost, tormented soul, tell me what I should do, at i should read, what I should seek.

My apologies for the post and thanks in advance.

1. Allāh has sent down the best statement: a consistent Book wherein is reiteration. The skins shiver therefrom of those who fear their Lord; then their skins and their hearts relax at the remembrance [i.e., mention] of Allāh. That is the guidance of Allāh by which He guides whom He wills. And one whom Allāh sends astray - for him there is no guide.

My family has suffered really bad financially, and we are the mercy of our landlord for even rent, which has been accumulating for years. My university fees can't be paid at the moment. My father's business has brought us nothing. My mom can only cover basic essentials. My elder brothers got out of this life and are doing well, but my parents and I struggle.

How am I to believe that God will provide relief to us? I know that the essentials are provided, but not for much longer because my mom won't have a job soon. What then? Our financial struggle makes me lose my imaan, and it's really difficult. So seriously, how do I believe something is coming? And will relief even come? People have died in debt while waiting for relief

I’m a uni student in North America parents have always had a rocky relationship. My dad wasn’t a good person and hes on the older side mid 60s whereas my mom is early 50s. He treated my mother like crap when we were growing up, even hit her once that I remember. When he got older he stopped working due to back pain (he was a cab driver), we are in North America. Sometimes I get angry that he stopped working but ofc I don’t know what pain he truly feels so I can’t say, and the fact that my mom has to work and barely earns since she’s an immigrant laboror. He has narcissistic tendencies but usually he’s nice and a decent father it’s just when he loses it it’s bad. Sometimes I wish he was just a horrible person all in all so i didn’t have conflicted feelings about him

I have two other siblings one older one younger l, we live in a 2 bed apartment where my mom and dad sleep in the living room I have a room and my sisters share one, it’s an extremely small place for 5 practically adults and it’s extremely old and ruined (there’s bugs broken stuff everywhere mold etc)

I work so does my older sister and mom but the thing is my parents financial decisions have caused them to rack up $50k plus of debt including 20k to our landlord. Landlord dosent fix anything because of it and my parents stay here cuz we can’t leave and the rent is cheap ( they do pay monthly now cuz me and my older sibling contribute) but the debt is so hard to tackle.

I’m in uni rn putting myself through it, I would have rather worked or did a trade but my parents forced me to study (accounting).

Anyways with everything in my life it just feels like it gets worse never better, my iman is the weakest it’s ever been I don’t even feel like I’m living just surviving. I feel helpless seeing my mom work labor daily i feel like a spineless cowards. My dad collects welfare but even that has decreased to the point we can barely stay afloat other then racking more debt.

The only bright side I can see is in 2-3 years me and my older sister will earn on salary’s and finally be able to take over but then I don’t want to take my sisters money as a man, and then worries of the future how will I take care of my family and be able to get married when my parents won’t have any money income.

Apologies for the rant but I truly feel I’m reaching a breaking point my mind can’t understand how it will ever get better and tbh I have 0 hope

I’m currently pregnant and unemployed and have been looking for a job for a while. I was so scared of having kids because I’m not financially stable and neither is my husband and he might loose his job in couple of months. I have also read the Hadith that don’t kill your kids for the fear of poverty. So I’m looking towards hearing any positive or any experience that has changed your life after having kids.

Recently everything in my lifes been falling apart my health is horrible i have a lot of digestive problems. Because of this i havent been able to take care of growing my business which is dying because im so physically exhausted with my health.

Now my wife wants a divorce because of my health i havent been there for her for a while emotionally and shes felt very alone. We arent ending in bad terms but we just cant stay together anymore since its just not working out. my health js getting pretty bad. ive become pretty numb and depressed because of it, so emotionally im just not really being there for her so shes been feeling very alone and i feel very bad but i just dont have the energy to do anything so she is deciding to end the marriage and i understand and i think it would be better for her to find someone else.

Im not sure what to do im just focusing this past week on trying to improve my prayers having presence and actually feeling something. Yesterday i started istighfar i try not to do a set amount a day and more so try to do them with presence. Il do 33 at a time and if feel something in my heart thats means its good.

My question is. Is this enough for Allah to fix my life? ive been very depressed i cant lie for some time because of all these problems and this past week ive been doing better mentally because of trying to preform better prayers and stuff but im still stressed and feel very alone.

Any brothers or sisters want to chime in and offer their opinions on what i can do to fix my life? im not sure anymore to be honest im just gonna try to offer better prayers and have more presence with istighfar i just dont understand if its enough to get me out of the hole im in right now. Im so lost and dont know what to do at all ive never felt more alone

As-salamu alaykum.

I have a question. What was Saudi Arabia like before Islam? I heard from the popular influencer Sneako that they were burying their daughters and doing other bad stuff before they discovered Islam.

Is any of that true and what was going on before they became a muslim country?

I’d love to hear about your experience

lowkey been struggling with just my belief in God in general, i just want to hear other’s thoughts on this 😞

also for context i am a revert, i just don’t practice islam, i would like to but im very unmotivated :(

Surah Az-Zumar

When I was little, my narcissistic and hypocritical father would constantly tell us we were going to hell over everything. He used to play Quran recitations extremely loudly in the car, to the point where it hurt our ears. There was one reciter whose voice I absolutely hated, and to this day, I have a phobia like reaction to his voice because it reminds me of my father.

Every time we made a mistake as children, my father had a Quranic verse and an interpretation ready to make us hate religion. He even threatened to beat us for speaking our mother’s native language or calling him “Dad” in her language. My mother is a Muslim who converted out of genuine conviction before having children, but he always insisted that Arabic was the language of the Quran. Even when she read a translated version of the Quran, he claimed her reward wouldn’t be the same as someone reading it in Arabic.

We grew up in a Western country, and back then, there were hardly any Muslims around us. During my early teenage years, I used to go to school and talk about Islam as if it were backward and oppressive. I convinced my classmates and teachers that this was what Islam looked like because that was the only version I had ever known.

Years after my parents’ divorce, and six years into my marriage, something changed unexpectedly. I don’t know what brought me closer to God, but today I feel incredibly close to Him spiritually. I feel like God is with me every moment, and I’m so grateful for this connection. I genuinely wish everyone could experience this feeling.

I just want to say that if you grew up with a narcissistic, hypocritical parent who used religion to control and frighten you, it’s understandable that you might develop a completely distorted view of Islam. Sadly many victims end up hating the religion or even becoming atheists because of the oppression, cruelty, and constant threats they experienced.

Imagine being a child and hearing “You’re going to hell” over every little mistake you make. How could you not grow up associating religion with fear?

I grew up among many Muslims and Baptists. I was raised Baptist but Half of my family are followers of the Islamic faith, but they do not live in the same country. Recently a family friend has passed away and I attended his prayer at the mosque. I must say as someone who grew up in organized religion most religious buildings make me uncomfortable but this felt different.

The people were so kind and explained many different aspects of the faith and explained what they were doing so I wouldn’t feel left out. I genuinely felt welcomed which is the first for me in a religious setting. So I got curious and I’ve found many of my personal beliefs do align with much of the Islamic faith. I would say my knowledge is passable but as I learn more I become more curious.

I can’t read Arabic but I’m wondering if any of you have any recommendations of learning more about the faith and possibly Arabic. I’ve wanted to learn Arabic since I was a teenager but I’m finally having the motivation to learn it.

To believe in a creator you must first give yourself the chance to do so, by testing the belief that this world isn't in need of one.

The Quran appeals to this particular method repeatedly. It incessantly points to the outside world, telling you to consider it, and if it could've arisen out of nothingness at first, and that once it was there, whether out of the primordial universe, arisen you, without a creator.

Once this position is seriously considered, you start to be open to the possibility of a creator, you can't believe in a creator if you stubbornly insist on believing that the world isn't in need of one.

This why the book Mind and Cosmos by Thomas Nigel is an excellent read.

Doubt for me usually took the form of "what if I'm praying to a void". And the cure for it isn't to somehow become certain that a creator exists, but as a first step, certainty that the world is in need of an explanation, and that I don't have one!

Which is a very easy conclusion to arrive at.

im going to open up about some personal issues

so, im a girl

during ramadan, because i do not drink water i get horrible uti's (basically feels like im peeing fire for 4 to 5 hours)

it was o bad that last year, out of the 22 days of ramadan i fasted, i spent 12 of them on the toilet crying from pain and frustration because i couldn't even have the iftar with my family and i coudn't get out until after 4h

i dont want to fast anymore cause it just causes me pain

Just curious I still try everyday but it’s hard

I have been a top student all my life, always got good grades. I did my undergrad in computer science and engineering in south asia, i was always career oriented. I wanted to do masters in US, to which my parents disagreed to sending alone because i never lived alone in my entire life, i agree to their point. So i got married to a guy in US, and moved here, did masters. My husband is the sweetest and most thoughtful guy, my in laws are great too. All of them supported my career decisions.

After i graduated masters, a lot of rules about international students changed and i could not find a job because of the rules (i have a 4.0 gpa too, i interviewed at a top company went through all rounds just to get rejected in the end because of my work authorization. They had a history of hiring international students but idk they changed their mind ig. To maintain my visa status, i worked as a voluntary software developer at a startup of a professor at my uni (unpaid).

Then, due to visa stuff, i had to start a phd. I hate it, i never expected to go into research so i have no foundation init. I don't even know what my interest is and i am struggling to even stick to a topic to start my research in. am even struggling to focus on the required courses and performing very badly in them. am a TA, so Alhamdulillah for the funding.

All this, my mom keeps talking about a baby, i am 25 years old and it is about 4 years since i got married. I feel so old, i have no stable career, i am so due for a baby. It is like i wanted to be a career women, and in the end i could neither be that nor a housewife.

I really don't know what Allah has planned for me, but it is so difficult navigating through my intense fear of failure and having patience. Especially after an extremely hard time during job hunting. I feel like i am getting dumber everyday and need to forget everything i wanted and just start a family. On the other hand, when i imagine doing that i grieve all my lost potential and dreams i had. My husband always praises how smart i am, but unfortunately i am not. I let him and everyone down after all the support and love they have shown me. I wish i could go back in time and change everything that went wrong.

Also, i am a practicing muslim and a hijabi, and take all prayers very seriously. I know i should continue making dua, but i am not sure how to have patience while making the dua.
I really don't know how to handle this.