r/ibs • u/Teriyaki-Realness • 22h ago
Rant Enough is enough
Listen guys. I've had it. I've had enough. It's been 11 years with constant anxiety and fluctuations regarding my digestion. I'm having these repeated diarrhea flairs with depression and fatigue afterwards. And if I dont have a downright flair, I still struggle with discomfort and pain in my abdomen and also mood problems and cognitive disfunction. I've been providing for myself and others while having these severe symptoms. And I've had enough now. I'm 30. I want to enjoy my life again. Don't wanna have to think about this constantly. I have developed severe anxiety regarding what I eat because of these constant problems. And I literally feeling everything inside my gut. That's not normal. And I have to be treated. I don't care about what the doctors say, I know this is not life threatening on a physical level, but wth these symptoms I kinda wish it were. And I would finally be taken seriously and the fucking doctors would get off their asses to actually try to help me. I don't even feel comfortable having people over, because I sometimes have these absurdly gassy evenings, when I can't even fall asleep because I'm literally passing gass every 10 seconds for hours. And the gass stinks like hell. Like I feel so embarassed. I can't even talk to anybody about my symptoms because it's so embarassing. Literally wanna die right now. I've made an appointment with my doctor next week. And this time, I'm not gonna hold back. I'm gonna say, i want this to be over completely. Like I literally don't wanna have to think about my digestion ever again. I'm gonna do the FODMAP fuck for two weeks with a dietary person. Probabaly I wil still feel like shit. Then I'm gonna go back to the ritalin dose I had before my symptoms started. Who the fuck knows. Maybe my systems is so used to the constant stimulation through these meds, my digestive systems just doesn't know how to cope without em anymore. If all this doesn't work. I wanna get a test for my gut microbiome. Cause who knows. Maybe somekind of bad bacteria spread. My IBS started summer 2015. The year I graduated high school. I literally thought, wow, I'm free to do anything I want now and then these symptoms started. I had a second antibiotics treatment for a severe tonsilitis. But I also quit my Ritalin and started going vegan. So yeah. I have no idea what started it. But I'm going to find a cause. I hope it's not the Ritalin, cause I hate that stuff. But if it helps with the IBS, I don't care, you'll see me taking those pills for the rest of my life.
What I've done so far:
- Various tests regarding food intollerance: lactose, fructose, gluten, all negative, gluten one I did twice
- MRI of the whole intestine, Colonoscopy, all clear
- Several Stool- and blood-tests, all negative
- SIBO negative
- I even tried the antidepressants on my own accord, they didn't alleviate the IBS
- Therapy, sure felt good, but didn't have a lasting healing impact on my system.
It's weird cause I've also had times when my symptoms were manageable, and my stools were almost normal. But I don't know the cause. And that's whats crazy. I can't rely on my self anymore. How am I supposed to live like this?