r/beyondthebump • u/nicepair0fslacks • Sep 25 '26
Mental Health Never thought it would happen to me
I became one of the women I’ve been reading about on here since learning I was pregnant. And I thought it could never happen, that my husband loved me enough to keep his mouth shut about the topic of weight gain. He even assured me “I’m not going to expect anything in that regard for like 2 years.” I guess 2 years was really 12 weeks.
Folks, I gained 10 lbs. My husband shared some ignorant bullshit opinion which sparked an argument. I have spent the last 2 weeks weepy and absolutely miserable in my body since this conversation. I felt too embarrassed to talk to my family or friends about what was said and how it made me feel. My thoughts were overwhelmed with anger towards the constant societal pressure, the patriarchy, how my worth as a human is tied to my looks, how I am perceived socially and professionally, the pressure to conform to the male gaze. My psychiatrist even recommended increasing my antidepressant. I had to reflect on this and what effects it would have on my body; the same body that just produced a healthy child.
Then I thought, fuck this and fuck you. The earth is full of infinite wonders, I could be thinking about nature or science or music and I’m fucking pressed about 10 fucking pounds? The voice in my head who was dampened to a soft plea has come back as the vicious bitch she once was and has reminded me that giving birth was incredible and therefore I’m incredible.
Regarding my husband, he has apologized but jfc. I’m still mad and hurt. I will have a hard time forgetting this. That’s what therapy is for but I can’t see my new therapist for a week so that’s what this post is for.
Hope this helps someone feel powerful instead of sad.
Update: thank you all for the many replies and support. This was meant to be a cathartic anonymous-ish post about my current mental state. Maybe it could also serve as a helpful mindset for others. I appreciate this community. Be well.
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u/Ill-Mathematician287 Sep 25 '26
Tell him you’re about to lose roughly 200 lbs in about 5 minutes if he keeps up with this bullshit.
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u/TrashWild Sep 25 '26
He's a trash human. 🤷🏼♀️ He shouldn't expect anything ever regarding your weight. The 2 years comment gives me almost as much ick as 12 weeks.
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u/fuzzydunlop54321 Sep 25 '26
Yep. Like at 2 years then what? He does a presentation on his new expectations? He writes down goals for her. Gross
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u/Critical-Entry-7825 Sep 25 '26
YES. She grew a whole ass human. There should be zero 'expectations' on her weight/appearance before or after all that. Man, that makes me mad.
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u/Upbeat_Truth_4900 Sep 25 '26
Ugh, I know! And I’ll bet he was feeling like such a good, generous husband for giving her 2 years to get her body back to his “expectations.” Eww.
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u/sravll Sep 25 '26
This man seriously got you pregnant his own self, watched you go through pregnancy and childbirth, sees you looking after his child at 12 weeks....and he made a comment about your weight???
He's garbage. I swear if men gave birth, their postpartum bodies would absolutely glorified, but instead they can sit there without having to do a damned thing except help conceive a child and then make comments about body changes THEY CAUSED. Arghhh
(And yes I know its not all men, but it's common enough to infuriate me)
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u/Hot-Bonus560 Sep 25 '26
If men gave birth they would celebrate every single visible change on their bodies. Oh they would be so glorified. Every stretch mark, a hard won “battle wound”. I can only imagine.
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u/Sweaty-Assistance872 Sep 25 '26
I really think it’s womb envy and selfishness . We bring life into the world and they can’t process it and they distill it down to “ she’s gained weight “ .
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u/Polardragon44 Sep 25 '26 edited Sep 25 '26
I am enraged on your behalf
I would be so petty I would and not even try to lose the 10 lb.
Or or, tell him you know I guess I need to go to the gym, and get my hair bleached, and do my nails, and get my massages and get my pampering the child is yours on the weekend.
I'd probably be drier than the Sahara after that comment whatever it was.
He won't be getting any and even though I would look great I would say you know I just don't feel good and comfortable in my body because of what you said so I'm not comfortable with you touching me.
This is obviously not marriage advice
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u/echo_zephyr Sep 25 '26
I would absolutely be this petty too lol
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u/MyRedditUserName428 Sep 25 '26
I’d take it further and would deliberately start chipping away at his self-confidence, but I’m a bitch like that.
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u/rineedshelp Sep 25 '26
Right because I’m not trying to be mean but i noticed his hair is thinning…
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u/Mama-giraffe Sep 25 '26
Haha, yeah, this is where I was going too.
Well, guess I gotta get to the gym. That means you're watching the 3 month old baby for a couple hours every night while I do that, right? Right? And then not even go to the gym, but out with friends or something, since he's got baby handled.
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u/GoldendoodlesFTW Sep 25 '26
TBH, I think you should be more angry specifically with him than with societal pressure or the patriarchy or how society is tying your worth to your looks. It sounds like the issue is that your husband specifically is applying the pressure and tying your worth to your looks. Yes we don't live in a vacuum but he made a choice and you two need to deal with it as individuals.
Also him saying he'd give you two years before complaining isn't some great concession, it's a huge red flag in and of itself.
ALSO 10 lbs is nothing. I gain and lose 5-10 lbs multiple times throughout the year and my husband never says a word. I doubt he notices. How focused is this man on your appearance that he's giving you a deadline for losing the baby weight and complaining about 10 lbs?
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u/Electronic-War-244 Sep 25 '26 edited Sep 25 '26
Yeah, honestly the two years comment made me screw up my face in disgust. Like, wow, what a gentleman. I’ll give you two years before I get irritated that your body isn’t the body it was before you did this insane incredible thing and then raised a child.
My weight has fluctuated 30lbs in my marriage (60 if you count pregnancy!) and my husband has only EVER made me feel like a stunning, wonderful, amazing woman. And he is extremely extremely fit and I have been extremely extremely fit at many points in our relationship.
Your husband sucks, OP. So much. I’d be more mad at him than you are.
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u/ImInTheFutureAlso Sep 25 '26
I agree. Plenty of husbands never say anything about weight or looks, and we’re all swimming in the patriarchy soup. It looks a little different for different people, but we’re all in it.
Some changes are just permanent, right? Like, after my first pregnancy I eventually made it almost down to my pre baby weight (less than 5 pounds away), but my hips didn’t fit in any of my pants. My stomach didn’t quite look the same. Definitely my boobs didn’t. Etc etc. having the expectation that your spouse’s body will return to what it was is unrealistic and unsupportive. And also, that’s assuming she wants to/is able to lose weight. Also 10 pounds is so little.
I could keep going, but you said it better than I would. I’m just mad and disappointed for OP.
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u/beepbopboopitydoo Sep 25 '26 edited Sep 25 '26
Only 10???? Dang, I gained 50 😭 although I did lose 25 immediately after giving birth lol. But my body is hanging on to that remaining 25 for dear life and I’m 6 months pp. but 10! 10 is so little. I’m so so so sorry he even NOTICED, let alone said something to you about it.
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u/FrnklyFrankie Sep 25 '26
Right like if she's breastfeeding, at 12 weeks a bunch of that is probably still just her boobs omg
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u/EMSLizard2023 Sep 25 '26 edited Sep 25 '26
Just something that helped me a little (although I never lost the weight and just feel I’m disgusting but it is what it is) is to remember it took you 9 months to grow that baby and protect them with your body, it’s going to take at least 9 months for your body to bounce back or come even close to that. Honestly? It takes closer to 2 years to feel normal again and have your hormones level out (not accounting for BC) so fuck him. But also remember that making any major life decisions should be made 1.5-2 years after giving birth because before that you aren’t usually thinking straight since your brain is literally re-wiring itself to be able to sustain this new life you’ve brought into existence. You got this mama, you’re doing great ❤️
Edit to add: obviously the decisions comment is for anything that can wait, if you are in an abusive situation then please leave sooner rather than later. You’ve got this!!
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u/therackage Sep 25 '26
Can I ask what he said? I want to know how infuriated I should be.
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u/PetuniasSmellNice Sep 25 '26
I mean the fact that he had any kind of expectation at all is enough for me…..
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u/Different-Year838 Sep 25 '26
Yeah… the not expecting anything for two years comment. Sir you don’t get to have expectations about anyone’s body but yours.
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u/AlotLovesYou Sep 25 '26
I empathize with the emotional shit storm. Postpartum is rough and having people be jerks about your body does not help.
From one internet stranger to another: that your husband even felt the need to reassure you about his body weight expectations is absolutely wild. That's not normal. My husband has never, not even once, commented on my weight, and in no world would he ever set some kind of timeline for me to reach a goal weight.
And it's not that he's scared of my righteous female anger or something - it's just, well, no particular order:
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It's just fundamentally weird to think you have a right to criticize someone else's body at all. Or really, it's weird to spend time caring about it? It's just our meat sacks. Does he ever insult people physically when he's upset or annoyed at them? Because that's a red flag. It's fine to rant about the obnoxious person in line ahead of you at the coffee shop, it's bewildering to add "and they were so UGLY, too" to the mix? Like, the shape of their meat sack is irrelevant to them being an asshole?
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Why would you ever want to cause distress to your partner? Sure, everyone squabbles, but the squabble is about the point of disagreement (e.g. putting clothes away); if your partner is insulting you and trying to make you feel bad about yourself, that's another red flag. Also, again, "you don't load the dishwasher right and you gained ten pounds" is such a bizarre set of unrelated clauses. One has nothing to do with the other.
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Honestly, taking care of Sir NeverSleep was grueling enough and nobody had time to be weighing themselves or considering their bounce-back body or whatever horrible slogan social media is up to these days.
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u/rilah15 Sep 25 '26
I can tell just by the way you write that you’re unanimous. Sir NeverSleeps and meat sacks had me cackling.
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u/gremlinguy Sep 25 '26
Dad here. Proud of you for independently coming to this realization and effectively overcoming (or at least having made a lot of progress towards overcoming!) such a silly societal norm, and yet such a penetrating and cruel one. You are obviously very strong and clear-eyed.
My wife is almost 3 years post-partum and, of course, her body is a mother's body. Some of her friends were able to get close to their pre-baby body after, and I know that bothers her, playing comparison games. But, we have both learned about matrescence, the very real and irreversible changes that happen during and after pregnancy, and have come to view the whole thing like expecting someone to come home from war and be the same as before. We change, we evolve as people, physically and mentally, and you have clearly outpaced your husband in that regard. He'll get there, or he won't, but it's not your battle. He needs to accept his own aging and circumstances and learn to appreciate health and happiness as true beauty, and commit to enhancing the presence of both in his own household.
Just fyi, besides the obvious decrease in frequency that comes with kids (or maybe because of it?), our sex has never been better or more intimate. But I have to say, we are out of the roughest period and you are squarely within it. It can get much better, and likely will. Dads are simple creatures. Give him time to learn and accept, and then he can move into appreciate and hopefully you'll both grow closer than ever. My only important observation is that it is a constant effort to maintain a relationship that can so often be placed on the backburner and easily be set back by stupid events like this. As long as both of you continue to choose to keep trying, you'll get through, and everyone will get wiser.
Good luck!
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u/Front_Scholar9757 Sep 25 '26
You sound like a wonderful husband.
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u/gremlinguy Sep 25 '26
Thank you, I try very hard to be, and it is very difficult. I think it is just a side effect of being a "man" in the non-toxic sense and understanding/accepting my role as partner. I think if I had become a husband much younger, or if I had a wife who didn't check me on things and keep me honest, I would not have been as successful.
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u/Front_Scholar9757 Sep 25 '26 edited Sep 25 '26
You're clearly wonderfully self aware so that must have taken you somewhere. Keep doing what youre doing.
Its hard being a woman, especially when having a baby. People feel its ok to comment on our bodies during pregnancy & then keep tabs on how quick we lose the weight afterwards. So support from partners is important. You're doing a great job, as i said.
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u/Green-Cauliflower87 Sep 25 '26
I’m so glad you know you’re incredible despite your husband’s awful comments. Honestly he’s an idiot for saying anything about weight loss, even the 2 year remark.
Comments like that never leave your brain…
I still hear echos of shit like that on my most confident days. I’m so sorry he did that to you.
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u/Left_Neighborhood796 Sep 25 '26
Tell your husband I’m 60 months postpartum from my first and 9 from my second, holding on to at least 25-30lbs. Haven’t lost a damn lb because I’ve been breastfeeding and idgaf. Neither does my husband.
Jesus, why are guys such ah
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u/Technical_Piglet_438 Sep 25 '26
Next time tell him "you don't like what you see? You know where is the front door". Don't let his shitty coments make you feel bad, you grew an entire human being inside your own body, he can get lost.
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u/Embarrassed-Buy-1500 Sep 25 '26
I’ve gained a lot during pregnancy and some more while nursing. My husband tells me everyday how beautiful I am and how attracted he is to me. While I find it very hard to look at myself he is always reassuring me. No man should do any less than that and you shouldn’t need medication just because he can’t be a good partner. I’m so sorry! I hope he will reflect on this a lot and offer a more sincere apology showing he’s had a process of thinking about this. A time limit? That’s insane.
You made his child. A whole human being. Your body is allowed to look like it did just exactly that.
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u/sparkleye Sep 25 '26
He's a PoS and this is a glaring red flag. I gained almost 30 kg whilst pregnant and only now at 25 months PP am I finally back to my normal size. If my husband had commented on my weight like this I would have left him.
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u/very_tired_woman Sep 25 '26
Nothing has filled me with rage towards men more than becoming a mother. Good lord they have some balls to say and do the things they do…
My husband has been driving me nuts since I had my baby but he would NEVER give me a fucking timeline to lose weight. He saw what I went through. TEN POUNDS ARE YOU KIDDING ME what a joke.
You just keep thinking about those infinite wonders and don’t waste another single thought on that absolute BS.
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u/Lilmissodd Sep 25 '26
Whoa what
Expect anything in what regard?? Like for you to lose weight?
If so, tap into that vicious bitch and tell him if you ever mention my weight or looks again I am going to put my goddamn foot up your balls and asshole so hard you’ll never walk the same again 🙃
Or something like that. Not that I’d ever say to my husband (jk he’d never dare)
Men have an audacity that is just sooo astounding. F that nonsense.
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u/Difficult-Tax-3628 Sep 25 '26
When I met my husband I was about 160 pounds. I’m now 230 due to a couple medical conditions. He loves me as much as he ever did if not more.
I can’t imagine being a dick to my postpartum wife over 10 pounds. That’s nothing
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u/usernamsomething Sep 25 '26
Can you share what he said? I am not trying to defend him or anything, but maybe he is looking up for you because depression sometimes can cause you to loose interest in your health and maybe eat uncontrollably ( I am not assuming you are doing that) but maybe he was trying to take care of you and not being superficial.
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u/rilah15 Sep 25 '26
I read this post and by the time I got to “vicious bitch” I was like HELL YEAH!
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u/Exotic-Comedian-4030 Sep 25 '26 edited Sep 25 '26
"fuck this and fuck you, the earth is full of infinite wonders" is poetry. I want to embroider it on a throw pillow.
Can I bring some nuance? My question is what did he say and how has he apologized? Has he apologized to you in a way that you, with a little more remove, would find satisfactory? Or was his apology some bullshit? That matters, because there's a difference between feeling hurt because you don't have closure vs feeling hurt because you are in a headspace where you're ruminating on an old hurt. I ask this because it's a problem I have and I have to check in about it with myself sometimes.
You mention having a psychiatrist which means you are dealing with a brain that likes to hold on to negativity (so to speak). So is your current mindset about what your husband said despite apologizing, or was he a dillhole and continues to be a dillhole? Sometimes both can be true, unfortunately.
That said, my husband and I are struggling right now postpartum. In classic, "I never thought this would happen to me" fashion, I never thought my wonderful, loving husband would be distant and cold following the birth of our very wanted miracle baby. There's a lot of hurt. We're very slowly figuring things out, it's a touchy and delicate situation right now. Despite this, he has never once said anything disparaging about my postpartum body. My midsection is doughy, my boobs are unrecognizable, I weigh more and carry it worse, my postpartum hair shed is regrowing and sticks out all over the place. He's never said shit about any of it. 10lbs is nothing. 1. Why does he know this number? And 2. Why is he having an opinion about it? What's he going to do when you hit menopause and gain weight? What's he going to do when you're ill or injured and it changes your body? What does he need to do to apologize for how he's behaved and what do you need in order to forgive him and free yourself from these persistent thoughts?
"Fuck this and fuck you, the Earth is full of infinite wonders" is my new, "what will you do with your one wild and precious life?"
Fuck this and fuck him. You created a whole life from scratch. You brought a brand new human being out from inside your body. You spend nearly a year in the endurance race that is a pregnancy. You were multitasking constantly where one of your tasks was building organs cell by cell. You are a primordial goddess. You are the wonder. You're entitled to be changed by this process and it would be weird if you weren't. I'm sorry he's too small to be appropriately in awe of you.
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u/napalmnacey Sep 25 '26
10lbs is barely anything. I gained 20 every time. Your husband needs a reality check.
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u/drunk_cunt Sep 25 '26
Ewww how gross. Tell him to grow an entire human being before he comments and since he can’t, tell him to grow some fucking balls, man the fuck up and acknowledge what you had to go through and are STILL going through to create a new life. The delusion of some of these men is appalling.
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u/mindlessmuffin123 Sep 25 '26
I gained 40 lbs and my husband hasn’t commented on it one time, girl throw the man away he’s garbage
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u/Opposite-Sea-6567 Sep 25 '26
Wow. That sucks, I feel so sorry for you. Its very unfair. Your body needs that weight to sustain the pregnancy. The baby weights and the water and the placenta and the blood... I put on weight too. Its my second. My husband is always nice in that regard. He respects the work the body does to make a little human and he is grateful for it. Same for the pp body, my boobs are so far from the lovely little ones I had before... and he is never ever saying anything negative. If anything he is amazed they contain milk and are able sustain a life! Your husband needs to do some self reflection and grow up.
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u/justintime107 Sep 25 '26
I’m not afraid to admit that I’m vain and superficial when it comes to myself. I am breastfeeding, my girl will be 5 months in 2 weeks and I’m 7lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight. My body needs the weight right now to BF, my muscle tone is gone so even if I go down to my pre-pregnancy weight, I’ll still look different. We worry about ourselves but to hear that from a partner and for him to put a TIMELINE ON IT??!!! EXCUSEEEE MEEE.
Don’t be down about yourself. You just had a baby, you have PP hormones going through your body. If he wants to dip because of TEN pounds, well buh bye. Such a jerk and so insensitive!
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u/capitolsara Sep 25 '26
He was likely making these comments about your body, subtly, the entire time and about other people's bodies. You just weren't hormonal enough for it to affect you in the same way. It's not society he's just an asshole. If you had a girl, make sure he never says that kinda of stuff in front of her (or you about yourself) it will follow her her life. If you had a boy, we'll try to raise him better than he was raised I guess.
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u/Aeleana117 Sep 25 '26
So proud of you babe! "Fuck this and fuck you" and "giving birth was incredible and therefore I'm incredible" 🙏 AMEN 👏
As another commenter said, why on earth would a loving spouse ever want to i sultan or hurt their partner? Answer is, they should never ever want to. The fact he brought it up, his expectations, etc is hateful behavior. You need to be more mad at HIM, and tell him that while the apology is appreciated, he now needs to have changes in his behavior and how he treats you to PROVE he actually loves you. Cause that behavior showed the opposite. The only real apology is changed behavior, words are just lip service without change.
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u/Unusual-Coyote3961 Sep 25 '26
This sounds controlling and so inappropriate from him. Actually pretty misogynistic. You deserve to be treated better. I'm sorry. You have every right to enraged.
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u/Hot-Bonus560 Sep 25 '26
As soon as I read the, “at least two years” part, I was concerned. Then I got to the 10lbs part and um.. Wha?? Is that even healthy. How you only gained 10lbs is beyond me but, your husband sounds like a jerk. I think it’s really weird that he’s never you given you any pause, so much so that you’d remark that you couldn’t imagine writing here, and 10 lbs was all it took to change him.. You in dangah, girl. Or whatever the saying is haha (sorry)
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u/urcutejeans_ Sep 25 '26
Not to compare, but to provide an example of how I think it should be. I gained 70 pounds while pregnant, had a tough pregnancy, ended in emergency c section, lost only about 30, and am 7 months postpartum and still exclusively pumping My husband has been singing my praises daily since the day I got pregnant. I’m sorry… words hurt ❤️🩹
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u/idwagerthisinttaken Sep 25 '26
Well, now you know that his love is absolutely conditional on your looks.
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u/LittleHorn667 Sep 25 '26
I'm 25 lbs over pre pregnancy weight at 4 months pp and luckily mine treats me exactly the same. I've struggled with internalized fat phobia since baby was born but he keeps my head above water with the way he treats me and talks about me, I'm sorry your husband was not supportive of you and what you went through, pregnancy and pp is A LOT, and I say that even though I've had a very uneventful one
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u/LCHA4MHL Sep 25 '26
I'm sorry you experienced his hurtful words. He needs some serious reality checks....he's about to see a whole new side of life, of you, of your strength and resilience, a new responsibility to care for, a new female rage and fire that is unmatched, and I'll be damned if you even entertain him getting away with anything like that in the future. When a baby is born, a woman is also REborn. Trust me, sister- those 10 pounds are gonna feel like NOTHING and insignificant when you see the awesomeness that is the life force that you bring into this world. Tell your husband you will not stand for the bullshit patriarchal and insensitive rhetoric he is saying. Stand in your power and enjoy pregnancy and motherhood. I gained 50 lbs while pregnant. Exercised and ate super clean throughout... while also vomiting throughout. And working full time. Still gained 50 lbs. And lost it all within 6 months. Our bodies are gonna do what they need to do. Stay positive, stay strong and keep your mental health at the forefront of your mind. You got this!
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u/astrothief42 Sep 25 '26 edited Sep 25 '26
Girl…it’s been 19 months since I gave birth and not only had I gained weight during my postpartum baby blues (and beyond), I’m like at the 25 pounds under what I “lost” after delivery. And that doesn’t really count, anyway, because I was actually 15 pounds under what I am now pre-pregnancy. 😒 if my husband said anything like that, we would have been well divorced by now.
Your husband is an asshat. Women have actual, postpartum hormones that we deal with after pregnancy and can’t control our emotions all the time, but for the non-pregnant person to say something like this is inexcusable.
You went through your own body-building routine, as it may, and then had to transform AGAIN after pregnancy. I can’t fathom how people think it’s okay to talk about a pregnant/postpartum woman, let alone your PARTNER.
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u/Ser1302 Sep 25 '26
I'm 70lbs up from my pre pregnancy weight and not once has my husband so much as mentioned my weight or potential weight loss. Your husband needs a reality check - you birthed a baby, ofcourse your body will be different.
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u/rocksplash Sep 25 '26 edited Sep 25 '26
If he has the energy to be commenting on your body 12w pp he’s not doing enough for the baby
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u/Apprehensive-Ad-7525 Sep 26 '26
You are literally in the trenches right now… 12 weeks postpartum is so fresh. I’m so mad reading this. I want to know exactly what was said because I want to construct a completely surgical and vicious comeback. I’m sorry OP. Please inform your husband we all think he’s a loser.
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u/glassofwater111 Sep 26 '26
Yeah fuck that. Fuck whoever talk about weight. Your body is trying to feed a newborn you don't ever need to care about weight or look. Your baby need you more than whatever the fk he thinks. I would be furious. What high horse is he riding on? I bet you are still hot af. Also what you just went through and have to take care of a child? And he fucking even think about weight. Smh
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u/turtlerogger Sep 26 '26
You should prob tell him he could stand to gain 10 lbs in one specific region.
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u/Whereas_Far Sep 26 '26
What? I’m almost 15 months post partum, have just recently gotten to a weight that is only 10 lbs more than my pre pregnancy weight, and I feel like I’m doing amazing and look great. And my husband hasn’t said a thing, (and he’s not a faultless angel by any scope of the imagination).
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u/lysning Sep 26 '26
wait im confused. he said ‘im not going to expect anything for like two years’ regarding your WEIGHT?! and you thought this was fine until the time frame was shortened without notice? uhm, the whole premise is fucked?
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u/bananernutmuffin 29d ago
Oh boy I gained like 60, hubby who is extremely health conscious gained probably 30. We are working on losing it, but more than that we’re admiring each other as parents. We’re a fat and happy team. Our kid now comes first. Our weight will always come last to literally anything else now. So sorry you’re dealing with this. I can’t imagine.
You birthed a whole ass human. Be kind to yourself. There are no timelines for “getting back to normal” because oooooh boy being a parent is never gonna be the same normal that you had before. But it will be a better one 🫶🏼
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u/bibkel Sep 25 '26
You just grew an entire human, had your hip bones literally SHIFT to allow this fully formed human come out (even with a C section, your hips shift) and he has the BALLS to comment on your amazing body? The body that gave him a fully formed human that he got 30 seconds of ultimate pleasure in forming and you got x hours of pain to birth? plus 18 years of responsibility regardless of what HE does?
Does he not KNOW what a miracle your body just did? Let him watch some you tube videos, and then (Carol Burnett help me here) ask him to stretch his lower lip over his forehead.
When he hits retirement that bastard will gain 10-40 lbs and have a dAd Bod and think he is the shit. Fuck his stupid judgy behavior. GAH I am so irritated for you.
He needs to understand and then worship you for the absolute miracle you created. HE was unable to do what you did and never can achieve what you achieved. He is jealous, and stabbing out to make himself feel more studly. He is unable to understand the level of endurance you showed to birth a child.
Asshole.
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u/Sweaty-Assistance872 Sep 25 '26
Your body knit blood, bone, cells and organs together and grew a baby in an organ the size of your fist!!. You are a magnificent goddess who is capable of creating life .
So you gained 10 pounds ?? 10 fucking pounds compared to what your body just did .
Tell your husband to sit in the naughty corner. Men gain more than ten pounds eating chips and beer.
You are incredible .
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u/resilient_bird Sep 25 '26
This is a bit of a stretch biologically; pregnant people don’t build their children like a factory, children are self-assembling (the same way they are after they’re born), including the placenta; the pregnant person provides the environment and materials. And pushes it out when it’s done.
This doesn’t mean it’s not a major feat, it is. Just not the one you’re describing.
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u/jump92nct Sep 25 '26
My husband made a “joke” while I was pregnant with my first that I could “stand to do some more squats” because my weight gain had included my ass. That was 5 years ago and no, he will never live it down.
I’m so sorry that those comments made you feel so low. You are incredible, and 12 weeks is nothing. Many women are still bleeding at 12 weeks and aren’t physically recovered from pushing out a literal human. Fuck anyone who is expecting you to have completely rebounded in that amount of time.
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u/Tejasgrass Sep 25 '26
That’s a very strange joke because as far as I know, we do squats to get bigger booties.
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u/bookwormingdelight Sep 25 '26
Honestly this would make me reconsider being tied to him for minimum the next 18 years 🤢
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u/Different-Year838 Sep 25 '26
Every time I read about one of y’all’s husbands I feel grateful to be a single mom.
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u/unfortunate-moth Sep 25 '26
i’m 8 months postpartum, finally back to looking similar to how i did before birth … randomly out of nowhere my tummy decided to pop out again lmao to the point where i toot a pregnancy test yesterday
not pregnant just the joys of hormones
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u/Westisjess25 Sep 25 '26
I’m so sorry he said those things to you. My partner has also said/done some pretty out there stuff I would never have expected from him after I gave birth. It’s so common, I’ve thought perhaps these men start feeling really inferior after watching everything we do and go through with pregnancy, birth and then caring for our babies? It’s nothing short of incredible. So they feel like they need to knock us down a peg, especially if they know they just stand around all the time like a cement mixer instead of actively helping.
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u/xyz90901 Sep 25 '26
He’s a fucking asshole. Over 10 pounds? He’d call me a humongous orb if he knew how much weight I gained after back to back births. Be mad OP and yes FUCK HIM. And don’t forget it. You’re only allowed to forget things that are covered with beautiful memories of you feeling beautiful and if he can’t do that. Fuck him!
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u/Front_Scholar9757 Sep 25 '26 edited Sep 25 '26
I would be pissed if my husband put any timeframe on me "bouncing back" - 2 years, 20 years- things change
Its not his body. He has put a baby inside it, therefore it has changed.
And 10lbs... I wish I only had 10lbs to lose (and i AM 2 years on - weight doesnt shift like it used to despite running 4-5x per week!)
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u/TinyNefariousness135 Sep 25 '26
This was insanely cringe.
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u/nicepair0fslacks Sep 25 '26
Thank you for your intelligent comment. May you receive equivalent support in your many posts about your pregnancy. What a wonderful contribution you’ve made to this community.
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u/BitComfortable6618 Sep 26 '26
My partner who is actually a lovely person, apparently thought it smart to tell me at 4 months postpartum when I was complaining about feeling fat, that if I “just had more discipline and committed myself I could lose the weight” … honestly he’s fucking lucky I didn’t hit him in the face with a frying pan. He’s really apologetic 2 years later… but Jfc. We really put up with a lot from these men
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u/PS1988 Sep 25 '26
It’s a red flag that he put any time limit on his “expectation” of your weight.