Hi everyone!
I'd like to share a problem that's been going on for quite some time, and that I'm really hoping to solve.
I live in Italy, in an apartment, with my two Bengal cats: Rufy, a two-and-a-half-year-old male who is absolutely enormous, incredibly energetic and extremely curious (even more than the average Bengal, according to the vets who have seen him), and Lily, a one-and-a-half-year-old female who joined us about a year ago. Lily is very independent and perfectly capable of playing and entertaining herself, while Rufy has significantly more energy and usually needs me to actively play with him. Just to clarify, Rufy and Lily are not from the same litter.
The main issue is that Rufy, especially in the evening when he's full of energy, becomes particularly fixated on Lily. He constantly stalks her, even when she's simply minding her own business, like looking out of the window. He watches her closely, then sometimes ambushes her or follows her around, occasionally being extremely persistent. I should mention that until recently, this behavior was actually much worse. Rufy wouldn't just stalk her, he would actively chase her down and pin her, causing Lily to scream and growl. Thankfully, he doesn't do that anymore. Now, when he ambushes or chases her, he eventually stops or changes direction (perhaps my timeouts in another room and rewarding him when he chased correctly without blocking her had the desired effect?). However, he can still be incredibly persistent at times. I also want to point out that Rufy never behaves this way when Lily is going to eat, drink, or use the litter box.
There's another behavior I'd like to describe.
Sometimes, Rufy tries to invite Lily to wrestle by rolling onto his back and rubbing himself against the carpet. Lily then jumps on him, and they start wrestling. But at some point, Rufy suddenly rolls over, stands up, arches his back, and starts making a strange snorting or puffing sound through his nose. At that moment, Lily backs away and tries to keep him at a distance by putting her paws against his head. These interactions usually end with a short chase, which Lily stops by jumping onto a higher surface.
Now, here's what makes the whole situation so confusing.
I want to make something very clear: Lily isn't generally afraid of Rufy, and Rufy doesn't hate Lily. I often find them sleeping close to each other in the same room, or grooming each other. Sometimes, when Lily walks past Rufy, she rubs herself against him. Other times, if they spot each other from different rooms or from different heights, they'll actually approach each other, touch noses, exchange a couple of little licks or kisses, and then simply go back to whatever they were doing. I also notice that sometimes Lily herself initiates play, chasing Rufy or ambushing him.
And that's exactly what's driving me crazy. I genuinely don't understand how two cats can go from cuddling and grooming each other on the couch to having the kinds of interactions I described earlier, all within the same day. I really want to correct this behavior because I don't think it's fair to Lily. I've noticed that when Rufy is particularly active, Lily adjusts her behavior to avoid getting too close to him. For example, she'll choose elevated routes instead of walking on the floor, and that bothers me.
Lily deserves to go about her day peacefully, without having to constantly think about what Rufy might do. She loves looking out of the window and is very independent when it comes to playing. Rufy, on the other hand, rarely plays by himself. He usually needs me to engage him in play, and he has considerably more energy than Lily. The thing that makes me sad the most is that I took Lily just to keep Rufy company and now I'm making her life difficult with this situation.
I've already consulted a veterinary behaviorist. During our first appointment, she recommended improving the environmental enrichment in my apartment, which I've been gradually working on. Unfortunately, she has since become largely unresponsive, so I haven't been able to get much further guidance.
Has anyone here experienced a similar situation with their Bengals? I'm particularly interested in hearing from people who have dealt with one Bengal being overly fixated on another, despite the two cats otherwise having a good relationship. Were you able to improve or resolve the behavior? If so, what actually worked for you?
I'd really appreciate hearing about your experiences.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this!
I'll also attach a few pictures of my two beasts.
