Hello, I have been sober for 2 years. A lot of my family and friends say it's amazing, and a long time.
However a lot of people in AA say I am early into recovery.
I could barely do a few months, so 2 years is massive for me. Thank you for reading

Aye I have been a pathological liar for as long as I can remember and I came to AA with a COMPLETE fabrication of a backstory. I was not planning on sticking around AA for that long! I have come to be at a point in AA where people tell me all the time how much they love me and all that bubbly stuff - especially my now-sponsor. My *fabricated* backstory is something she has found a lot of emotional weight with, it's how we even began talking in the first place. I recently relapsed and have her as my sponsor now, she is so knowledgeable on the traditions/steps/history and decades of sobriety, a rare gem. I know the 5th step is coming and I know the truth will have to be spilled but I can't fathom showing my face in the rooms again once everyone knows they have come to love a lie. I'm sure the truth is going to be so hard for my sponsor to hear but I don't feel there is another option. I also feel like the spaces she was in way before me should also get to be enjoyed by her without me there making things awkward. I seriously cannot believe the hole I have dug trying to dig myself out of so many other holes. Really just feel like up and moving to a new place with new AA people.

And just to be clear. this isn't shit I just told people in passing - it's shit that I have actually said at the damn podium while "sharing my story" when I had nearly 2 years sober. Wtf is wrong with me 💀

I was at a meeting tonight where someone shared that their spouse had died in the last week.

I’ve been in and out of the rooms for a little over a year and heard my fair share of people suffering multiple addictions, wanting to get their kids back, etc.

But this one tonight? It was a gut punch I wasn’t ready for. It was a small meeting so after they shared I said that I admired them, that if they had chosen to drink it’s likely most people would give them a hall pass given the circumstances. But this person instead chose to spend their Tuesday evening with fellow AA’s. And if nothing else, I wanted that to be noted.

I don’t know that I really have a point here, but when I’m in a meeting where someone has literally stared death in the face, it just makes me wonder about my own mortality and this disease of ours.

Thanks for “listening”!

Hi again, sorry for posting on here again after only 2 days. I haven't been to physical AA yet so this is the only peer support I have. I am the guy who posted about I think I'm an alcoholic as a 17M teenager.

Soooo, I told my mental health clinician and peer support worker, they are an alcohol and drug practitioner but I was seeing them for anxiety work. They were reasonably supportive, but told me I need to cease all drinking, for now at least. I agree, but the very same day, I had another glass of wine because I felt so much shame. I felt like I was regretting telling them. The glass of wine made me feel better initially but afterwards, the day after, I felt even more shame from drinking. I am not sure whether I will have a glass again tonight.

The thing with drinking is it causes me to have a profound sense of wellbeing. I feel happy, warm, it feels like love. That wellbeing, that euphoria, is what keeps me coming back to it. To be clear, I've only been drinking for a few days at a time, so I'm no chronic alcoholic, but I know I have a problem. Because I'm drinking alone, day drinking, drinking for relief - not for fun with friends.

I'm not sure what my future holds. Perhaps I will be able to drink socially when I get out of this rough patch. But NEVER again on my own. I've at least thought about that. Yet I still want to drink tonight. I still haven't poured out my wine but I think I'll do it tomorrow.

I wrote down two pages of my thoughts that I'm going to give to my mum tomorrow to tell her. I am WAY too scared to tell her myself but I've asked her if we can go to a café and then I'll give her the letter. I'm really scared and it makes me want to drink even more.

I know AA will be the best thing for me. I've found a young person's meeting. It's on tonight. But I'm too scared to go. Please help.

Again, sorry for the vent, I need to talk to people and I haven't been to AA so you are all I've got.

First off let me just say I’m so grateful for all of you that participate in this program.

I relapsed after 7 wonderful years and recently my wife has left and the mental warfare is real.

I love you guys. To anyone who is currently sober struggling. Stay the course and don’t leave until the miracle happens . Take it from me.

Sincerely your friend of Bill

Long story short I promised myself I would never drink. It never seemed good especially since I grew up with an abusive alcoholic father and I saw other people turn incredibly violent and angry when drinking.

Last week I had my first drink. I was feeling alone and I just wanted to relax. I enjoyed the feeling of my body feeling heavy and sedated when I took stuff like benadryl, but after a while that feeling started to fade so I turned to getting my first drink. Just a buzzball one day. It felt nice and I just wanted something that was sweet, so buzzballs seemed good.

Then that turned one buzzball one random day into two buzzballs the next day. Then every other day since last week I've been drinking more and more. Last night instead of drinking two buzzballs I drank an entire bottle of 500ml/13.5% abv wine and an entire buzzball on top of that. Apparently that's 5.5-6 standard US drinks or something? That's what google said. or around 84-88 grams of pure alcohol. I don't really drink so I don't know if it's a lot but it sounds like a lot

I don't know. I thought I'd never be like this but it's like all I look forward to now is just getting absolutely wasted and passing out.

I am not an alcoholic. (No, seriously. I rarely drink. Don’t like the way it makes me feel. Don’t need it.) But a very close friend of mine is 30+ years sober thanks to AA and occasionally I’ve gone to meetings with him. To me, AA meetings are the best of what our world could be. They are the most diverse (racially, educationally, economically, even religiously) spaces I have ever been in and the love, acceptance, and support are beautiful to see. If church was even close to that experience I might be a believer. I would never want to have to go through where y’all have been, but I’m a little envious of the Fellowship. Stay strong ODAAT.

What a thing to say. Why couldn't he just say congratulations. This old timer is so grumpy. Some old timers are brutal too when they give advice.

Hi all,
I’m in the process of moving from Brooklyn to South/Central Westchester to live with my girlfriend. I’m 29 and have been sober in the program for 10+ years. I’m hoping to connect with other queer sober folks in Westchester. Anyone have any queer meeting recs? I’m already on the Meeting Guide app, but thought I’d see if anyone here has personal experience with queer AA in the area (I recognize that it’s niche). Also open to women’s and young people’s meetings. Just trying to find my community here, and hopefully make some friends along the way. Thanks! 🦄💕

Story time. Followed by question time.

My whole life I have grown up around family in recovery. My mom has been battling alcohol for a long time. My brother has some harder substances of choice. He slipped so far as being homeless for a few years. I found him and put him in a car to drive him to a rehab. I have driven to rehabs more times then I can count. I have seen how isolating it can be and how incredibly hard it is to stay sober post rehab. I know I can not always be there for them.

I have always wanted to find a way for them to feel supported and connected at all times. Especially when I leave I worry about them. I know there are apps out there, however, both my mom and brother find them of no use. My mom uses a breathalyzer for daily check ins, though it is a fairly daunting task.

This all brings me to my question. I am experienced in coding and development which has always led me to want to make something for them to stay on track and connected to more people. Due to my coding experience I have been toying with the idea of making an app for my mom. I almost want it to be like DuoLingo where my mom can get rewarded for her check ins (not just do it and submit a video to an abyss.) I was thinking she could have daily lessons, quotes, stories, and maybe even connect to her health app so that she can be rewarded for steps and activities. In app rewards like accessories for an in app avatar (sort of like a club penguin idea.) I think it could be a neat app with a roadmap of goals, lessons, etc. What are your thoughts on this idea? Do you think it would help?

Additionally, I never liked the look of breathalyzers. I have been thinking of designing a fun bluetooth breathalyzer that can connect to her phone and app. Not sure if you know of the Hatch alarm clock. I envision it like that where it can talk to her with words of encouragement "good job" "you are going to crush today" etc. She can use it each day to count as a digital streak and sobriety day count. Likewise, if she doesn't check in for a few days it could send out a message to emergency (user-selected optional) contacts. (These are all just rough ideas)

A key feature to this down the line is the community connection. Maybe there can be chat groups and live talks about anything and you are rewarded in the app for contributing. Which brings me to you all. What do you think and any other ideas? Or do you not think this will be helpful for her and others.

I know this was a word blabber, but I have been thinking about this a lot lately.

I'm gonna try to go to this local meeting before work (or after) sometime this week, but I'm pretty anxious, I know I just need to quit at this point.

I recently quit this other thing that has made me feel a little more confident in quitting with this, but I basically have no self control with alcohol. I haven't got into any trouble... yet, but it's probably only a matter of time before I do, and so I want to stop now before it gets harder.

My family that lives out of state is also wanting me to be there Thanksgiving and they have no clue about my drinking so at this point I'm trying to quit. I say this because my mom is a heavy drinker basically my whole life and I feel like they would be extremely disappointed, especially if they learn about this during Thanksgiving, so that's gonna be a difficult conversation that I intend to have beforehand.

Anyway, sorry for the tangent, but I just want to know what these meetings are like. From what I heard, people generally are non-judgemental and very nice with these meetings.

I realize that AA is more or less religious based, which is fine, but I'm not that religious. This is not a sticking point at all, I'm just curious.

I realize that quiting is the first step to being sober and it's not easy from there on, but I just want to get past all of this and function without needing a bunch of stuff to get through the day.

I’m 25 and have struggled with my confidence for as long as I can remember.
I’m 6’3 and about 103kg, so physically I’m a fairly big bloke, but I’ve never really felt that way mentally. When I’m sober I feel intimidated by pretty much anyone, regardless of who they are. I constantly overthink what I’m saying, worry about what people think of me and generally feel like I’m not good enough.
It’s something I’m quite ashamed of, to be honest. I hate how insecure I am and how much I care about what other people think. I often feel like there’s something wrong with me for being this way, particularly at my age.
My parents divorced when I was younger and my dad has always been a heavy drinker. Because of that, I actually grew up telling myself I’d never end up like him in that respect. Unfortunately, I’ve gradually found myself becoming reliant on alcohol for confidence, which is something I really struggle to come to terms with.
When I’ve had a few drinks, I feel completely different. I can talk to people, have a laugh and generally just be myself without worrying about every little thing. All those feelings of being inferior to other people seem to disappear.
I think that’s the main reason I drink. It’s not necessarily because I enjoy getting drunk, but because I enjoy how I feel about myself when I do. I don’t feel like I’m better than anyone else, just equal to them, which is something I really struggle with sober.
I know it’s unhealthy and I’m well aware that I’m probably making things worse for myself in the long run. I also know that alcohol isn’t actually solving any of these problems, but it’s difficult when something you’ve come to rely on makes such a difference to how you feel.
What bothers me most is that I genuinely don’t like myself when I’m sober. I struggle to see what other people might like about me when I don’t particularly like myself.
I wish I could just be comfortable in my own skin without needing alcohol to get there. I don’t want to be the most confident person in the room or anything like that. I just want to stop feeling inferior to everyone else and be able to enjoy myself without constantly overthinking.
It’s quite sad really, because I spent so much of my childhood wanting to avoid having the same relationship with alcohol as my dad, yet here I am slowly heading in that direction myself.
Has anyone else experienced anything similar? And if so, how did you start building confidence without relying on drinking?

To make it clear, sharing even for two minutes is painful for me. I draw a blank and then I start babbling and I’m all over the place.

This has always been true for me. I have a little over 3 and a half years back and sharing has never gotten better.

I did the share. God know what I said. But I wasn’t happy about being asked at the last minute. My sponsor is a very social person who’s always doing service. She’s solid AA and she really doesn’t ask that much of me. I can’t see the point in continuing to do service that I absolutely hate. I do other kinds of service. I’m the Co-chair for my Zoom’s meeting Security team and I do security 3 or 4 times a week. I also chair my group’s meetings on Fridays. Sometimes I feel fried.

I brought up with my sponsor the feeling of having been pressured into speaking and I got the impression that she didn’t think I had good enough reason to decline. I love my sponsor but I don’t know how to feel about this. I have no desire to drink but I just want to hide in bed a lot lately.

Anyone experienced this before?

EDIT: I never expected so many responses. Thank you all for sharing your own experiences and for your kindness. I’m grateful to all of you.

I am nearly 4 months sober in AA.

When I joined AA I told only a couple of people in my family. I didn't receive very much encouragement.

"It's a cult."

"I'm glad you're doing something, but I wish it wasn't that. Get proper medical help and go to a proper, professional therapist."

"It's a bunch of outdated woo from the 1930s."

"It's just religion pretending to be therapy, and they get to inflict it on other people."

None of the people who said this are alcoholics, so I don't know how they could be so confident in these statements. One of them did go to Al-Anon in the late 1980s, so she, "Knows everything about AA," or so she says.

The last two weeks have been horrendous. I suffered a bereavement, then another very close family member became very sick, had to have surgery, was in the hospital, and it was touch-and-go if they'd pull through, to be honest. But they did, and I am very thankful for that.

I did not drink. I went to meetings (a lot of meetings, when I could). I met with my sponsor. I talked to my sponsor on the phone. I talked to other AAs on the phone. And I went to yet more meetings.

And I did not drink.

Thank you for letting me share.

Had my first meeting today as 17F after a night of getting absolutely black out drunk and ruining my body, my relationships, my health etc.

Woke up this morning and decided I need to make a change, so I looked up meetings near me and went to the earliest one.

It was great! Everyone was so lovely, and welcomed me with open arms. It was amazing. I’m so glad I went, I think it will make sobriety one million times easier than it would be doing it on my own. If you’re debating on whether to go to that first meeting or not, go!

I’m breaking every “rule” I ever put in place for myself. I’m a different kind of pos then I was before. I’m a mom now and I still can’t stay sober. I barely remember getting my daughter to bed last night. I’ve driven her in the car blacked out, I was almost too drunk to pick her up from day care once. I need to live with this shame for a moment and then figure out how the hell I stay sober

at the moment the touching thing is way open to abuse. surely if you want to touch someone you can do it outside the room

After realising that drinking beer or wine at 6am everyday was not normal I went to my first AA meeting but I’m unsure What the benifit is ? Is it being around other people who understand or is there something that I missed from last night meeting ?

GLOBAL SHARING

October 27

The only thing that matters is that he is an alcoholic who has found a key to sobriety. These legacies of suffering and of recovery are easily passed among alcoholics, one to the other. This is our gift from God, and its bestowal upon others like us is the one aim that today animates A.A.'s all around the globe.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 151

The strength of Alcoholics Anonymous lies in the desire of each member and of each group around the world to share with other alcoholics their suffering and the steps taken to gain, and maintain, recovery. By keeping a conscious contact with my Higher Power, I make sure that I always nurture my desire to help other alcoholics, thus insuring the continuity of the wonderful fraternity of Alcoholics Anonymous.

— Reprinted from "Daily Reflections", October 27, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.

I'm having to miss some gatherings with close friends over next week's due to me being early on in recovery and the gatherings involving drink.

I have a meeting later but I'm feeling really low and isolated at the moment. Day 4, any advice?

​

I have been sober for now a good few months. It has been wonderful I must admit I have a decent manufacturing job that I enjoy and my family life exists again. However I must admit I feel awfully lonely in my search for others who are my age (Early 20's). I feel that almost everyone my age is still part of the "bar scene" and so I cannot find people to relate with. Now here is the question is drinking again a possibility. I feel that most of my drinking was linked to guilt, shame, and depression that I have worked through mostly by finding alternative outlets could that mean my drinking was not just pure alcoholism but also a mix of mental health issues? On the other hand i used to drink 20-30 drinks a day for about a year and a half. I know what that took from me and how I had nearly ended my life from my drunkenness a multitude of times. I just find it hard to not feel lonely in my age. Anyway Im just looking for advice on these thoughts, I have made the decision day by day to stay sober but I ask is it wise to ever consider drinking a drink again?

Not a huge number, but it’s the longest I’ve gone in a long time.
The first week felt rough, restless nights, that constant low-level anxiety, and the usual mental bargaining. Week two has been a bit quieter. Still not easy, but my head feels clearer and I’m sleeping better. I’m not claiming any big transformation yet. Just taking it one day at a time and trying not to overthink it.
Grateful to be here and not drinking with all of you today.

I don’t think I fully understood how much space alcohol was taking up in my life until I started living without it. I’m still figuring things out, and not every day has been easy, but I’m proud that I’ve made it this far. There were moments when drinking sounded like the easiest escape, but I kept going. I’m not going to pretend I have everything figured out now. I just know I don’t want to go back to where I was. A month ago, I was just trying to get through one day. Now I’m here, and that means something to me. For anyone further along in sobriety, what changed the most for you after your first month? I’d love to hear your experiences.

IWNDWYT.

14 days without a drink. Some days have been easier than others, and I’m still figuring things out, but I’m proud of myself for showing up every day and trying. I’m realizing that getting sober isn’t just about putting down the alcohol. It’s about learning how to deal with life without reaching for a drink every time things get hard.

I know I still have a long way to go, but for today, I’m choosing to keep going.

For those who’ve been sober for a while, what’s one thing you wish you knew during your first few weeks? I could really use the advice. IWNDWYT ❤️

I feel like I won’t go unless I have someone to go with, or if I had a buddy.. so sad. How can I connect with someone?