r/alcoholicsanonymous • • Apr 24 '24

Mod/Sub Updates About A.A. and this subreddit

50 Upvotes

Welcome to r/alcoholicsanonymous. We are a subreddit dedicated to carrying the AA recovery message to any suffering alcoholic who happens upon the site. We are also open to questions and discussion about AA. We do not consider ourselves to be an AA Group in the formal or traditional sense, and you may find many posts and comments here that are quite different (sometimes bizarrely so) from what you are likely to hear in an actual meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.

 

The primary source of information about Alcoholics Anonymous is https://www.aa.org/ - Period!

And the A.A. recovery program is described and documented in the book, "Alcoholics Anonymous" - it's online here:

 

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who help each other to get and stay sober. We learn how to live well as sober people. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no registration requirements, no dues or fees, no attendance records taken.

A.A. is not affiliated or allied with any religious organization (though many A.A. groups rent rooms at churches and such,) we do not involve ourselves in politics or social issues, we do not even wish to outlaw alcohol or involve ourselves in any other causes or controversies. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

Most of us start learning how to get and stay sober at meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Do also seek medical attention to assess risks of withdrawal and evaluate any harm done by the alcohol abuse. A.A. cannot provide medical services.

And check out our Wiki here for some basic faqs, links, and such:

Suggested Guideline when commenting: Remember, we are a fellowship with one primary purpose, and as such, we need to be helpful. This is not a community to troll or be abusive. Restraint of tongue and pen can also be applied to keyboard with much benefit! For some more detail about our Civility Rule see this:

 

Looking for Online Sponsorship? See our monthly thread here:

 


Family member's drinking causing trouble? See this:

https://www.reddit.com/r/alcoholicsanonymous/wiki/index#wiki_help_for_the_friends_and_families_of_alcoholics


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 27d ago

Sponsorship Online Sponsorship Offers & Requests — October 2026

4 Upvotes

This is one of a series of sticky threads for anyone seeking or offering online sponsorship. (Last month's thread may be found at https://redd.it/1w3s1tl)

While most of us feel that face-to-face sponsorship offers greater facility for transmitting/receiving sobriety, and that there are great advantages in having a big crowd of local friends, online sponsorship (via phone, WhatsApp, Facetime, Zoom, or Western Union) can work* and for some seeking or offering sobriety it is sometimes the only practical solution for getting started. (But to any extent that online sponsorship is being sought as "an easier, softer way" - that's already spelling trouble!)

The pamphlet "Questions & Answers on Sponsorship" (https://www.aa.org/questions-and-answers-sponsorship) can answer many/most of the questions frequently asked about this sponsorship business - some selected examples:

How does sponsorship help the newcomer?
How should a sponsor be chosen?
Should sponsor and newcomer be as much alike as possible?
Must the newcomer agree with everything the sponsor says?
Is it ever too late to get a sponsor?

 

Suggested Format

Start with "Seeking:" or "Offering:", optionally a name, sobriety date or length of sobriety, gender, location (also optional,) perhaps some brief biographical information, perhaps a brief drunkalogue about one's drinking and drugging career when making a "Seeking:" comment.

"Gender" may not always be relevant, but per the sponsorship pamphlet, "A.A. experience does suggest that it is best for men to sponsor men, women to sponsor women." It's a good guideline albeit not a strict rule carved in stone.

"Location" may be very general or as specific as wanted, and of course is optional. It may come in handy if the sponsor and protégé (p.92) prefer to be in the same time zone or may possibly wish to meet face-to-face sometime down the road to happy destiny.

"Biographical information" would also be quite optional. I've seen situations where young people prefer to be sponsored by other young people or even the opposite, wanting to be sponsored by a grandparent figure.

Any replies to "Seeking" or "Offering" comments should ideally be limited, with the correspondence shifting to Reddit private messages, chat, email or phone calls relatively quickly.

It is strongly suggested to avoid posting phone numbers or email addresses in the public forum:

"Posting phone numbers is a violation of Reddit Content Policy for sharing personal information" (I've seen "[Removed By Reddit]" a few times over posting phone numbers. I suppose this might be in part due to the potential for publishing other people's phone numbers for harassment purposes.)


* Footnote: In the 4th Edition Big Book on page 193, "Gratitude In Action - The story of Dave B., one of the founders of A.A. in Canada in 1944" relates the story of an alcoholic who started his recovery by exchanging letters with the folks in the new A.A. office in New York; an excerpt:

I was very surprised when I got a copy of the Big Book in the mail the following day. And each day after that, for nearly a year, I got a letter or a note, something from Bobbie or from Bill or one of the other members of the central office in New York. In October 1944, Bobbie wrote: “You sound very sincere and from now on we will be counting on you to perpetuate the Fellowship of A.A. where you are. You will find enclosed some queries from alcoholics. We think you are now ready to take on this responsibility.” She had enclosed some four hundred letters that I answered in the course of the following weeks. Soon, I began to get answers back.

If Dave could get sober via U.S./Canada Mail, we can get sober with the cornucopia of communication facilities available in the 21st century!


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 8h ago

Group/Meeting Related I am not an alcoholic. AA is awesome.

63 Upvotes

I am not an alcoholic. (No, seriously. I rarely drink. Don’t like the way it makes me feel. Don’t need it.) But a very close friend of mine is 30+ years sober thanks to AA and occasionally I’ve gone to meetings with him. To me, AA meetings are the best of what our world could be. They are the most diverse (racially, educationally, economically, even religiously) spaces I have ever been in and the love, acceptance, and support are beautiful to see. If church was even close to that experience I might be a believer. I would never want to have to go through where y’all have been, but I’m a little envious of the Fellowship. Stay strong ODAAT.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 4h ago

Early Sobriety Lied to everyone in AA so much - I don't know if it's possible to continue

12 Upvotes

Aye I have been a pathological liar for as long as I can remember and I came to AA with a COMPLETE fabrication of a backstory. I was not planning on sticking around AA for that long! I have come to be at a point in AA where people tell me all the time how much they love me and all that bubbly stuff - especially my now-sponsor. My *fabricated* backstory is something she has found a lot of emotional weight with, it's how we even began talking in the first place. I recently relapsed and have her as my sponsor now, she is so knowledgeable on the traditions/steps/history and decades of sobriety, a rare gem. I know the 5th step is coming and I know the truth will have to be spilled but I can't fathom showing my face in the rooms again once everyone knows they have come to love a lie. I'm sure the truth is going to be so hard for my sponsor to hear but I don't feel there is another option. I also feel like the spaces she was in way before me should also get to be enjoyed by her without me there making things awkward. I seriously cannot believe the hole I have dug trying to dig myself out of so many other holes. Really just feel like up and moving to a new place with new AA people.

And just to be clear. this isn't shit I just told people in passing - it's shit that I have actually said at the damn podium while "sharing my story" when I had nearly 2 years sober. Wtf is wrong with me 💀


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 7m left

Sober Curious Is 2 years a long time in recovery

• Upvotes

Hello, I have been sober for 2 years. A lot of my family and friends say it's amazing, and a long time.
However a lot of people in AA say I am early into recovery.
I could barely do a few months, so 2 years is massive for me. Thank you for reading


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 6h ago

Relapse Burning desire

8 Upvotes

First off let me just say I’m so grateful for all of you that participate in this program.

I relapsed after 7 wonderful years and recently my wife has left and the mental warfare is real.

I love you guys. To anyone who is currently sober struggling. Stay the course and don’t leave until the miracle happens . Take it from me.

Sincerely your friend of Bill


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 4h ago

Dealing With Loss What’s something you heard in a meeting that just broke you?

4 Upvotes

I was at a meeting tonight where someone shared that their spouse had died in the last week.

I’ve been in and out of the rooms for a little over a year and heard my fair share of people suffering multiple addictions, wanting to get their kids back, etc.

But this one tonight? It was a gut punch I wasn’t ready for. It was a small meeting so after they shared I said that I admired them, that if they had chosen to drink it’s likely most people would give them a hall pass given the circumstances. But this person instead chose to spend their Tuesday evening with fellow AA’s. And if nothing else, I wanted that to be noted.

I don’t know that I really have a point here, but when I’m in a meeting where someone has literally stared death in the face, it just makes me wonder about my own mortality and this disease of ours.

Thanks for “listening”!


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 18h ago

Early Sobriety It works

58 Upvotes

I am nearly 4 months sober in AA.

When I joined AA I told only a couple of people in my family. I didn't receive very much encouragement.

"It's a cult."

"I'm glad you're doing something, but I wish it wasn't that. Get proper medical help and go to a proper, professional therapist."

"It's a bunch of outdated woo from the 1930s."

"It's just religion pretending to be therapy, and they get to inflict it on other people."

None of the people who said this are alcoholics, so I don't know how they could be so confident in these statements. One of them did go to Al-Anon in the late 1980s, so she, "Knows everything about AA," or so she says.

The last two weeks have been horrendous. I suffered a bereavement, then another very close family member became very sick, had to have surgery, was in the hospital, and it was touch-and-go if they'd pull through, to be honest. But they did, and I am very thankful for that.

I did not drink. I went to meetings (a lot of meetings, when I could). I met with my sponsor. I talked to my sponsor on the phone. I talked to other AAs on the phone. And I went to yet more meetings.

And I did not drink.

Thank you for letting me share.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 14h ago

General Service/Concepts My sponsor asked me to do a lead share on 30 minutes’ notice.

11 Upvotes

To make it clear, sharing even for two minutes is painful for me. I draw a blank and then I start babbling and I’m all over the place.

This has always been true for me. I have a little over 3 and a half years back and sharing has never gotten better.

I did the share. God know what I said. But I wasn’t happy about being asked at the last minute. My sponsor is a very social person who’s always doing service. She’s solid AA and she really doesn’t ask that much of me. I can’t see the point in continuing to do service that I absolutely hate. I do other kinds of service. I’m the Co-chair for my Zoom’s meeting Security team and I do security 3 or 4 times a week. I also chair my group’s meetings on Fridays. Sometimes I feel fried.

I brought up with my sponsor the feeling of having been pressured into speaking and I got the impression that she didn’t think I had good enough reason to decline. I love my sponsor but I don’t know how to feel about this. I have no desire to drink but I just want to hide in bed a lot lately.

Anyone experienced this before?

EDIT: I never expected so many responses. Thank you all for sharing your own experiences and for your kindness. I’m grateful to all of you.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 5h ago

Finding a Meeting Scared about going to my first meeting (teenager)

2 Upvotes

Hi again, sorry for posting on here again after only 2 days. I haven't been to physical AA yet so this is the only peer support I have. I am the guy who posted about I think I'm an alcoholic as a 17M teenager.

Soooo, I told my mental health clinician and peer support worker, they are an alcohol and drug practitioner but I was seeing them for anxiety work. They were reasonably supportive, but told me I need to cease all drinking, for now at least. I agree, but the very same day, I had another glass of wine because I felt so much shame. I felt like I was regretting telling them. The glass of wine made me feel better initially but afterwards, the day after, I felt even more shame from drinking. I am not sure whether I will have a glass again tonight.

The thing with drinking is it causes me to have a profound sense of wellbeing. I feel happy, warm, it feels like love. That wellbeing, that euphoria, is what keeps me coming back to it. To be clear, I've only been drinking for a few days at a time, so I'm no chronic alcoholic, but I know I have a problem. Because I'm drinking alone, day drinking, drinking for relief - not for fun with friends.

I'm not sure what my future holds. Perhaps I will be able to drink socially when I get out of this rough patch. But NEVER again on my own. I've at least thought about that. Yet I still want to drink tonight. I still haven't poured out my wine but I think I'll do it tomorrow.

I wrote down two pages of my thoughts that I'm going to give to my mum tomorrow to tell her. I am WAY too scared to tell her myself but I've asked her if we can go to a café and then I'll give her the letter. I'm really scared and it makes me want to drink even more.

I know AA will be the best thing for me. I've found a young person's meeting. It's on tonight. But I'm too scared to go. Please help.

Again, sorry for the vent, I need to talk to people and I haven't been to AA so you are all I've got.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 19h ago

Early Sobriety First meeting today

27 Upvotes

Had my first meeting today as 17F after a night of getting absolutely black out drunk and ruining my body, my relationships, my health etc.

Woke up this morning and decided I need to make a change, so I looked up meetings near me and went to the earliest one.

It was great! Everyone was so lovely, and welcomed me with open arms. It was amazing. I’m so glad I went, I think it will make sobriety one million times easier than it would be doing it on my own. If you’re debating on whether to go to that first meeting or not, go!


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 11h ago

Still Drinking I don’t know how I beat it. I’m nothing without it.

5 Upvotes

I’m 25 and have struggled with my confidence for as long as I can remember.
I’m 6’3 and about 103kg, so physically I’m a fairly big bloke, but I’ve never really felt that way mentally. When I’m sober I feel intimidated by pretty much anyone, regardless of who they are. I constantly overthink what I’m saying, worry about what people think of me and generally feel like I’m not good enough.
It’s something I’m quite ashamed of, to be honest. I hate how insecure I am and how much I care about what other people think. I often feel like there’s something wrong with me for being this way, particularly at my age.
My parents divorced when I was younger and my dad has always been a heavy drinker. Because of that, I actually grew up telling myself I’d never end up like him in that respect. Unfortunately, I’ve gradually found myself becoming reliant on alcohol for confidence, which is something I really struggle to come to terms with.
When I’ve had a few drinks, I feel completely different. I can talk to people, have a laugh and generally just be myself without worrying about every little thing. All those feelings of being inferior to other people seem to disappear.
I think that’s the main reason I drink. It’s not necessarily because I enjoy getting drunk, but because I enjoy how I feel about myself when I do. I don’t feel like I’m better than anyone else, just equal to them, which is something I really struggle with sober.
I know it’s unhealthy and I’m well aware that I’m probably making things worse for myself in the long run. I also know that alcohol isn’t actually solving any of these problems, but it’s difficult when something you’ve come to rely on makes such a difference to how you feel.
What bothers me most is that I genuinely don’t like myself when I’m sober. I struggle to see what other people might like about me when I don’t particularly like myself.
I wish I could just be comfortable in my own skin without needing alcohol to get there. I don’t want to be the most confident person in the room or anything like that. I just want to stop feeling inferior to everyone else and be able to enjoy myself without constantly overthinking.
It’s quite sad really, because I spent so much of my childhood wanting to avoid having the same relationship with alcohol as my dad, yet here I am slowly heading in that direction myself.
Has anyone else experienced anything similar? And if so, how did you start building confidence without relying on drinking?


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 6h ago

Am I An Alcoholic? I think I'm becoming an alcoholic... Am I?

2 Upvotes

Long story short I promised myself I would never drink. It never seemed good especially since I grew up with an abusive alcoholic father and I saw other people turn incredibly violent and angry when drinking.

Last week I had my first drink. I was feeling alone and I just wanted to relax. I enjoyed the feeling of my body feeling heavy and sedated when I took stuff like benadryl, but after a while that feeling started to fade so I turned to getting my first drink. Just a buzzball one day. It felt nice and I just wanted something that was sweet, so buzzballs seemed good.

Then that turned one buzzball one random day into two buzzballs the next day. Then every other day since last week I've been drinking more and more. Last night instead of drinking two buzzballs I drank an entire bottle of 500ml/13.5% abv wine and an entire buzzball on top of that. Apparently that's 5.5-6 standard US drinks or something? That's what google said. or around 84-88 grams of pure alcohol. I don't really drink so I don't know if it's a lot but it sounds like a lot

I don't know. I thought I'd never be like this but it's like all I look forward to now is just getting absolutely wasted and passing out.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 20h ago

I Want To Stop Drinking This is a new low for me

20 Upvotes

I’m breaking every “rule” I ever put in place for myself. I’m a different kind of pos then I was before. I’m a mom now and I still can’t stay sober. I barely remember getting my daughter to bed last night. I’ve driven her in the car blacked out, I was almost too drunk to pick her up from day care once. I need to live with this shame for a moment and then figure out how the hell I stay sober


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 8h ago

Finding a Meeting Recs for queer meetings in Westchester NY?

2 Upvotes

Hi all,
I’m in the process of moving from Brooklyn to South/Central Westchester to live with my girlfriend. I’m 29 and have been sober in the program for 10+ years. I’m hoping to connect with other queer sober folks in Westchester. Anyone have any queer meeting recs? I’m already on the Meeting Guide app, but thought I’d see if anyone here has personal experience with queer AA in the area (I recognize that it’s niche). Also open to women’s and young people’s meetings. Just trying to find my community here, and hopefully make some friends along the way. Thanks! 🦄💕


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 10h ago

Sober Curious Really thinking about going to a meeting sometime this week as a newcomer; anything I need to know before hand?

2 Upvotes

I'm gonna try to go to this local meeting before work (or after) sometime this week, but I'm pretty anxious, I know I just need to quit at this point.

I recently quit this other thing that has made me feel a little more confident in quitting with this, but I basically have no self control with alcohol. I haven't got into any trouble... yet, but it's probably only a matter of time before I do, and so I want to stop now before it gets harder.

My family that lives out of state is also wanting me to be there Thanksgiving and they have no clue about my drinking so at this point I'm trying to quit. I say this because my mom is a heavy drinker basically my whole life and I feel like they would be extremely disappointed, especially if they learn about this during Thanksgiving, so that's gonna be a difficult conversation that I intend to have beforehand.

Anyway, sorry for the tangent, but I just want to know what these meetings are like. From what I heard, people generally are non-judgemental and very nice with these meetings.

I realize that AA is more or less religious based, which is fine, but I'm not that religious. This is not a sticking point at all, I'm just curious.

I realize that quiting is the first step to being sober and it's not easy from there on, but I just want to get past all of this and function without needing a bunch of stuff to get through the day.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 21h ago

I Want To Stop Drinking Had my first meeting last night

10 Upvotes

After realising that drinking beer or wine at 6am everyday was not normal I went to my first AA meeting but I’m unsure What the benifit is ? Is it being around other people who understand or is there something that I missed from last night meeting ?


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Anniversaries/Celebrations 30 days sober. One whole month. 🥹❤️

78 Upvotes

I don’t think I fully understood how much space alcohol was taking up in my life until I started living without it. I’m still figuring things out, and not every day has been easy, but I’m proud that I’ve made it this far. There were moments when drinking sounded like the easiest escape, but I kept going. I’m not going to pretend I have everything figured out now. I just know I don’t want to go back to where I was. A month ago, I was just trying to get through one day. Now I’m here, and that means something to me. For anyone further along in sobriety, what changed the most for you after your first month? I’d love to hear your experiences.

IWNDWYT.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 10h ago

General Service/Concepts Can I Help?

1 Upvotes

Story time. Followed by question time.

My whole life I have grown up around family in recovery. My mom has been battling alcohol for a long time. My brother has some harder substances of choice. He slipped so far as being homeless for a few years. I found him and put him in a car to drive him to a rehab. I have driven to rehabs more times then I can count. I have seen how isolating it can be and how incredibly hard it is to stay sober post rehab. I know I can not always be there for them.

I have always wanted to find a way for them to feel supported and connected at all times. Especially when I leave I worry about them. I know there are apps out there, however, both my mom and brother find them of no use. My mom uses a breathalyzer for daily check ins, though it is a fairly daunting task.

This all brings me to my question. I am experienced in coding and development which has always led me to want to make something for them to stay on track and connected to more people. Due to my coding experience I have been toying with the idea of making an app for my mom. I almost want it to be like DuoLingo where my mom can get rewarded for her check ins (not just do it and submit a video to an abyss.) I was thinking she could have daily lessons, quotes, stories, and maybe even connect to her health app so that she can be rewarded for steps and activities. In app rewards like accessories for an in app avatar (sort of like a club penguin idea.) I think it could be a neat app with a roadmap of goals, lessons, etc. What are your thoughts on this idea? Do you think it would help?

Additionally, I never liked the look of breathalyzers. I have been thinking of designing a fun bluetooth breathalyzer that can connect to her phone and app. Not sure if you know of the Hatch alarm clock. I envision it like that where it can talk to her with words of encouragement "good job" "you are going to crush today" etc. She can use it each day to count as a digital streak and sobriety day count. Likewise, if she doesn't check in for a few days it could send out a message to emergency (user-selected optional) contacts. (These are all just rough ideas)

A key feature to this down the line is the community connection. Maybe there can be chat groups and live talks about anything and you are rewarded in the app for contributing. Which brings me to you all. What do you think and any other ideas? Or do you not think this will be helpful for her and others.

I know this was a word blabber, but I have been thinking about this a lot lately.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 8h ago

Defects of Character When I celebrated one hear i showed it to and timer and he said "are we gonna get fat and happy now?" What a grump lol

0 Upvotes

What a thing to say. Why couldn't he just say congratulations. This old timer is so grumpy. Some old timers are brutal too when they give advice.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Anniversaries/Celebrations 2 weeks sober today

20 Upvotes

Not a huge number, but it’s the longest I’ve gone in a long time.
The first week felt rough, restless nights, that constant low-level anxiety, and the usual mental bargaining. Week two has been a bit quieter. Still not easy, but my head feels clearer and I’m sleeping better. I’m not claiming any big transformation yet. Just taking it one day at a time and trying not to overthink it.
Grateful to be here and not drinking with all of you today.


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Early Sobriety Two weeks sober today. Honestly, I didn’t think I’d make it this far. ❤️

39 Upvotes

14 days without a drink. Some days have been easier than others, and I’m still figuring things out, but I’m proud of myself for showing up every day and trying. I’m realizing that getting sober isn’t just about putting down the alcohol. It’s about learning how to deal with life without reaching for a drink every time things get hard.

I know I still have a long way to go, but for today, I’m choosing to keep going.

For those who’ve been sober for a while, what’s one thing you wish you knew during your first few weeks? I could really use the advice. IWNDWYT ❤️


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Early Sobriety Feeling really low today - any tips?

5 Upvotes

I'm having to miss some gatherings with close friends over next week's due to me being early on in recovery and the gatherings involving drink.

I have a meeting later but I'm feeling really low and isolated at the moment. Day 4, any advice?


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 1d ago

Defects of Character Can I ever drink again?

7 Upvotes

​

I have been sober for now a good few months. It has been wonderful I must admit I have a decent manufacturing job that I enjoy and my family life exists again. However I must admit I feel awfully lonely in my search for others who are my age (Early 20's). I feel that almost everyone my age is still part of the "bar scene" and so I cannot find people to relate with. Now here is the question is drinking again a possibility. I feel that most of my drinking was linked to guilt, shame, and depression that I have worked through mostly by finding alternative outlets could that mean my drinking was not just pure alcoholism but also a mix of mental health issues? On the other hand i used to drink 20-30 drinks a day for about a year and a half. I know what that took from me and how I had nearly ended my life from my drunkenness a multitude of times. I just find it hard to not feel lonely in my age. Anyway Im just looking for advice on these thoughts, I have made the decision day by day to stay sober but I ask is it wise to ever consider drinking a drink again?


r/alcoholicsanonymous • • 22h ago

AA Literature Daily Reflections - October 27 - Global Sharing

2 Upvotes

GLOBAL SHARING

October 27

The only thing that matters is that he is an alcoholic who has found a key to sobriety. These legacies of suffering and of recovery are easily passed among alcoholics, one to the other. This is our gift from God, and its bestowal upon others like us is the one aim that today animates A.A.'s all around the globe.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 151

The strength of Alcoholics Anonymous lies in the desire of each member and of each group around the world to share with other alcoholics their suffering and the steps taken to gain, and maintain, recovery. By keeping a conscious contact with my Higher Power, I make sure that I always nurture my desire to help other alcoholics, thus insuring the continuity of the wonderful fraternity of Alcoholics Anonymous.

— Reprinted from "Daily Reflections", October 27, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.