I'm honestly just looking to vent and maybe hear from people who have gone through something similar because I've been struggling with this for a while now.
I'm currently a junior at an HBCU, and I genuinely feel like I've lost the person I was before coming here. I came in so excited about the HBCU experience. I wanted to be surrounded by Black excellence, make lifelong friendships, get involved, and really find my community. And for a while, I thought that was what I was building. But especially over this past semester, I've realized how unhappy I've become.
The frustrating part is that I'm actually doing really well academically and professionally. I have a 3.9 GPA, I'm in the Honors College, involved in student government, hold leadership positions in multiple organizations, and have been fortunate enough to participate in some really competitive fellowships and research opportunities. I'm not saying any of this to brag, but because I think people automatically assume that if you're doing well on paper, you must be having a great college experience.
But honestly, almost every major opportunity I've had is something I sought out myself. I did the research, applied, networked, and found ways to make things happen for myself. I'm proud of that, but it also makes me wonder what I'm really getting out of being here beyond the degree itself.
I think one of my biggest issues is the social environment. I knew Greek life was a big part of HBCU culture before coming here, but I genuinely did not realize just how much EVERYTHING would revolve around it. And I have absolutely nothing against Greek organizations, but it's exhausting feeling like Greek life dictates so much of the social hierarchy on campus. It feels like everything is about who knows who, who's trying to be Greek, who's popular, who's getting attention, and who's affiliated with what organization. Sometimes it feels like people care more about being seen than actually doing anything meaningful.
And the people... I don't even know how to explain it without sounding bitter, but I've encountered so many people who just seem fake. Everything feels so performative and artificial. People will smile in your face, act like they're supporting you, and then turn around and do the complete opposite. I've dealt with unnecessary drama, poor communication, and feeling unsupported in organizations that I've poured so much time and energy into. It's gotten to the point where I don't even enjoy being involved anymore, which is crazy because being involved and serving others has always been such a huge part of who I am.
I know every college has cliques, drama, and people who aren't genuine. I'm not expecting some perfect experience elsewhere. But I also don't think I should have to convince myself to be happy somewhere just because other people love it.
Another thing I've realized is how much I miss being in a more diverse environment. And I know that might sound strange considering I'm at an HBCU, but I grew up around people from so many different racial, cultural, and socioeconomic backgrounds. I miss that. I miss being around different perspectives and communities, and I honestly think I underestimated how important that was to me.
I've been seriously considering transferring to a PWI closer to home, and I know the first thing people are going to say is that I'm already a junior and should just push through.
But the thing is, I don't want to just push through.
I'm only 20. I'm not in a rush to graduate, and I genuinely don't mind spending another year or even two in college if it means being somewhere I'm actually happy. I know some credits might not transfer, and I know I'd essentially be starting over socially, but neither of those things bothers me as much as the thought of staying somewhere that makes me miserable.
What's really been bothering me lately is that I don't recognize myself anymore. I used to be so excited about everything. I loved getting involved, meeting people, planning events, volunteering, and just making the most out of every opportunity. Now I find myself wanting to withdraw from everything. I've spent so much of this semester frustrated, disappointed, or on the verge of tears because it feels like every time I try to make something positive happen, there's another issue.
And I hate that because that's not who I am.
I also want to make it clear that I don't regret choosing an HBCU, nor do I think HBCUs are bad institutions. I understand their importance, and I know people who have had absolutely amazing experiences at them. I just think I'm coming to terms with the fact that something can be a wonderful experience for someone else and still not be the right experience for me.
I think a part of me feels guilty because I worked so hard to get where I am. I've built relationships with professors, established myself in leadership, and accomplished things I'm genuinely proud of. Walking away from that feels scary. But at the same time, I keep asking myself whether any of that is worth sacrificing my happiness.
I want to be excited about college again. I want to meet genuine people, explore new things, be intellectually challenged, and actually enjoy the environment I'm in. I don't want my entire college experience to revolve around campus politics, social status, or trying to fit into spaces that don't feel authentic to me.
And honestly, I think the hardest part is accepting that the college experience I imagined for myself just hasn't turned out the way I hoped.
Has anyone else transferred from an HBCU to a PWI and genuinely felt happier afterward? Or has anyone transferred as a junior and ended up spending extra time in college?
I would especially love to hear from people who were really involved and academically successful at their previous school but still decided to leave.
I guess I'm just trying to figure out if it's okay to walk away from something you've worked hard to build when you realize it isn't making you happy anymore.