T works. Time works. Loving yourself works. And one day you can change from the Girl with the Pearl Earring, to the man that painted her.

first time posting here

Has anyone found that it is common for trans girls can be super toxic to trans mascs online? Edit:(yes I know not all of them)

You can say the most mild shit in a trans space. You can back it up by saying you are a trans man.

Then someone trans fem will say the most horrible shit to you. They will literally call you transphobic slurs and say transphobic stuff that could have only been created in the bowls of 4chan. Then proceed to say you are transmisogynistic whenever you try to stand up for yourself or disagree with them.

I feel like transpobia from trans women online is almost worse then cis people sometimes. Cis people only threaten to beat me up, say I was going to hell, or call me some version of f*ggot. Edit:(yes I know I'm privileged because I haven't actually gotten beaten up or killed by cis people)

Like I know its not everybody and I know people lash out because they were hurt by transphobic people in the past.

I want to be positive, I want to work together with my trans sisters. But then one will call you the most transphobic crap you ever heard, then say you are transphobic for being upset.

It just seems to be a disturbing trend. I'm not one to pick fights or anything and it has happened quite a few times now.

Is there anyway we can try to combat it?

Is there any way to try to encourage more solidarity between the two communities?

I don't post to reddit often so if I should retag this to something else let me know. I don't wanna cause any problems.

For me it's the singer Kaya (he's a crossdresser!), he has that masc-leaned androgynous voice.

So in general I'm feeling very dysphoric I want bottom surgery but I label my self as butch I feel guilty and lost if I get bottom surgery I no longer will be accepted and lesbians won't date me or deserve the butch label since bottom surgery are known only for binary trans mans

I'm so lost :(

Plz let me do this I was a singular day late I really don’t want to wait until next week 😭

I’m in later high school and IK I don’t look like it

my name is Callum and I’m wondering what you guys think

I JUST ORDERED MY FIRST BINDER OMFG OMFG AND BEFORE SOMEONE SAYS "IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL" IT IS!!! IT'S A HUGEEE DEAL​

How did you know? I’m super confused right now… I guess also a bit lost. I’m watching “Love in Disguise“ right now, where she is undercover as a man... I suddenly got very jealous and sad. Before, I knew that I’m jealous of thin people with androgynous faces but never of a specific term… one of the characters called her “hyung“ which is a term for “brother” between men in Korean. And I don’t know… it hit hard. But the thing is, I like dressing up as a girl… but it feels like a character which is fun to play. I don’t hate every feminine feature I have nor my long hair… so I am confused. But I did realise that I also get jealous of men dancing or dressing up feminine. Why do crave being addressed as a man even though I do love dressing feminine from time to time? I worried maybe it’s just internalised misogyn, that I feel more respected when they don’t see me as a woman. But I don’t know something tells me that’s not completely it.

first of all: this has happened to me, could happen to you guys as well so be aware.

after 4 and a half years waiting I found out that I got kicked off of the list while my hormones were already created. they just kicked me off of the list without my acknowledgement. no text messsge, no email, no phone call nothing. they said that they tried to contact us but couldn’t, that’s a lie because the GP can always call me and my Mom. and the woman who was supposed to lead my through it kicked me off of the list on purpose without even asking my permission. I was 15 and now I’m 19. and I’m angry at her, at the GP and the lack of effort they offered. I called the GenderPoli and the woman I was calling was not happy with the news I brought, that asshoke Sergio told me to call the GenderClinic and I only found GenderPoli so I called them, but that’s where the surgeries happen. and now I don’t have my hormones, I got put on the list again and I don’t even know if I might even receive my hormones and surgery after wiring patiently for 4 and a half whole years. because they didn’t just take my hormones away, they took my life away. and I have been nothing but calm, kind and patient. my patience has run thin.

i am having a lot of trouble lately.

i identified as transmasc from 8th grade to my sophomore year before it got too dangerous for me at home. i convinced myself over the years that it was just an exploratory period but i can’t stop thinking about it.

i find myself jealous? when my younger sister tells me about her friends transitioning.
i still get this weird homesick/disgusted sensation when i see or brush my chest.
i got married recently and spent hours looking for a dress just to land on one i felt like i was playing pretend in.
every time i look at a photo of myself from when i was presenting masc it doesn’t feel like a “oh haha blast from the past” thing it feels like i’m grieving a death.
my husband already knows that i use she/they pronouns but i keep feeling this like deep-rooted dread when i’m called a wife or his ‘girl’ (not his words. ew.)

should i be concerned about this? is this something that just happens?

I recently changed my name again (for the 3rd time), and started telling people today. My mom is supportive but wants to know if this is my “forever” name. She says it’s stressful and confusing for her and other people if I keep changing it. The name I chose has been a longtime favorite and I know I’ll love it, but the question still made me a little worried?

So how did you guys know that the name you chose is your “forever” name?

This is absolutely stupid for me to even try because I'm unsure but I really need help rn im not feeling so happy, my parents know I'm trans and going on T but they aren't exactly happy with it because I am feminine like you and I've tried to explain to them that what I wear doesn't dictate my gender but they really don't understand and they don't get it that I wanna go on testosterone and sometimes still be feminine yet they just don't understand and I don't think they accept it well, they say do what makes me happy but they say other things that make me believe that they think I shouldn't, my mum thinks I haven't thought this through but I did research and been thinking this since I was 11. I'm unsure what to do now. I'm scared and worried. What exactly can I explain to them?

I‘m Latino and desperately need passing advice but all I can find online is catered towards white transmascs. I live in a country where most male presenting people are 170cm or taller (I’m 155cm/ 5’1). Even my friends won’t stop making twink or short jokes. I’m also too afraid to post my face/ask for passing advice in the transman/transmasc subreddits cause there’s not much I can do about genetic features (i.e. round face) and I fear they’d just tell me I’m not trying hard enough. Am I the only one feeling like passing tips take European features into account more? I get the feeling even lgbtq+ spaces think I’m lesbian or put me in some bs box

I just started using my new name yesterday. I told one of my teachers and she said she’ll tell the other staff, and then ease it onto my classmates. I am AuDHD and go to a special school so I understand why they want to take it slow.

The one problem I have is my dad. I told him about my new name and how i’m going to talk about it in therapy but all he’s interested in is me trying to fina a job even though i’m working on that as well (I just started a new volunteer job). My mom told me to not push it with him or it’ll make him even more stubborn but I want him to use my new name.

I also see my personal trainer tomorrow and since my dad has his number, I asked my dad if he could text him so he knows about it. My dad said there’s “no rush”, but I’d really like my trainer to know. I’m still going to tell him at therapy beginning of our session, but idk how to go about that since i’ve only known him for 2-3 weeks. I want to keep it casual and not make it some big announcement.

I have used they/them pronouns for the last 5 years and all my friends and coworkers are very good about using my pronouns. I have a traditionally male chosen name that everyone uses exclusively as well. I started T six months ago and have had very few changes so far (which I’m fine with, I am happy to be going slow). My voice is slightly lower but not really noticeable. More facial hair but I always shaved my face daily before and I continue to keep clean shaven, so I don’t think I look different.

Weirdly I am getting she/her slip ups way more often than I used to specifically with people who know me. strangers will usually assume she/her and I never bother to correct so that hasn’t changed.

But friends and acquaintances who don’t usually get it wrong (or have never previously gotten it wrong) are slipping up more? I live in a progressive area and it was relatively rare before (once per month or less?) but seems to be happening a couple of times per week regularly now.

My partner is also nonbinary/transmasc and has been on and off T several times, and described the same thing when they started back up a year ago. I thought it was in their head until I noticed it happening to me too when I started.

Has anyone else experienced this? I am genuinely so confused. The best I can guess is that people are used to the way I used to present and matching that with they/them, and now that some subtle changes are happening social conditioning is taking over and they don't associate my current presentation with they/them and are subconsciously defaulting to she/her. But this seems like such a stretch??? I think most people in my life have not consciously noticed any change because the changes have been very small and slow.

I'm nonbinary Transmasc (not on hrt, but want top surgery) and Im still trying to navigate not necessarily being "butch" anymore. I dress way too "trans male" for someone to ID me as female butch lesbian anymore and I just have found it hard to feel seen.

I feel invisible in lesbian and sapphic spaces, reguardless of how welcoming the space is to NB/GNC/TRANS people the event is.

I feel like a lot of lesbians aren't attracted to me anymore and maybe there's some subconscious terfy sentiments behind it but I just wish someone liked me for me. I feel I'm not butch enough to be considered by lesbians, and I'm not a binary male enough to be looked at through a masculine lens where straight women would consider me.

That leaves the bi and pan folks, but I still feel like lately it all skews very femme for femme. Idk if the political climate in the US has influence, cuz it's "safer" to be with someone who can pass (my ex def had that sentiment and wished I was femmer than I presented). I'm also asian so looking Transmasc Asian NB person, I'm not the hottest one in the club compared to others, since there's a demasculinizing stereotype with Asian men (there needs to be more queer masc asian epresentation).

I just wanna feel desirable, and hot, and sexy and for people not to get scared if I don't wanna be seen as a female and yet not fully male either. Are there people out there that have advice on how to navigate this or how to find spaces where I feel wanted?

i went from 0% passing to still not really passing but at least i do a little bit and feel much better about myself and more connected with my masculinity. ✌️✌️