Yesterday, 25 October, I said goodbye to my beautiful soul kitty, my little grey mouse, my baby girl, my everything. After almost 17 years together, I genuinely cannot comprehend a world without her in it.
Lucy had the most beautiful, peaceful passing at home, surrounded by all the love in the world. I cannot thank Belinda from Peaceful Paws enough for making such a heartbreaking experience so gentle and beautiful.
As my precious girl drifted away, I held her close, stroked her beautiful soft fur, and gazed into those enormous green eyes that have looked at me with so much love for almost 17 years. I told her what a perfect little girl she’d been, how incredibly proud I was of her, and how being her Mama has been the very best part of my life. I told her she’d filled my heart with more love, happiness and joy than I ever thought possible, and that I would love her forever.
And then my beautiful girl was at peace 💔
We had five precious days together before saying goodbye, filled with all her favourite things, endless cuddles, kisses, belly rubs and as much whipped cream as her little heart desired. She was so incredibly affectionate, snuggling into us and gazing deeply into our eyes with so much love. It genuinely felt as though she was telling us that she was ready, that she knew how much we loved her, and that it was okay to let her go.
Lucy was the strongest, bravest, most extraordinary little girl. She fought so hard for so long, and I couldn’t be prouder of her. She had already overcome so much. In 2014, Lucy was diagnosed with nasal cancer, and I feel incredibly lucky and grateful that we were given another 12 precious years together after that. But as grateful as I am for every one of those years, anything other than forever was never going to be enough.
I wanted to protect her from everything, and in the end, the last thing I could do for her was make sure she never had to experience the suffering that was coming.
I also want to say a heartfelt thank you to all the beautiful, kind and compassionate people at Southern Animal Hospital, who cared for my precious girl with so much love, gentleness and respect throughout her twice-weekly visits. They all adored Lucy, and knowing how genuinely loved she was by everyone there meant so much to me. On Saturday, they all gave my beautiful girl one last big cuddle, which I’ll treasure forever.
A particularly special thank you to the wonderful vet nurse Deborah, who helped me more than she’ll ever know. Making the decision to say goodbye to my baby girl while she was still having happy moments was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Deborah gently and honestly reassured me that, having watched Lucy’s decline, she truly believed it was time and that letting her go peacefully before she began to suffer was the kindest thing I could do for her. Her compassion and reassurance gave me some much-needed peace at a time when I was absolutely heartbroken and questioning everything. I’ll never forget that kindness 🩷
For the past 18 months, my entire life has revolved around caring for her. Countless hours researching kidney disease, treatments and supplements, twice-weekly vet visits for fluids, medications, special diets, and doing absolutely everything I could to give her more time and keep her comfortable.
And now, suddenly, it’s all stopped.
There are no more medications to prepare, no more vet appointments, no more treatments to research. The little girl who was the centre of my world is gone, and I feel completely lost.
I feel so empty inside. There is a Lucy-shaped hole in my heart that nothing will ever fill.
She wasn’t just my cat. She was my baby, my little soulmate, my comfort, my happiness, and the most precious part of my life. Her love carried me through some of the hardest times I’ve ever experienced, including losing my first beautiful boy when he was only three and a half. Lucy helped put my broken heart back together, and now I don’t know how to begin living with it broken again.
I want the whole world to know that Lucy existed. That she was here. That she was perfect, intelligent, cheeky, strong, brave and so unbelievably loving. That her beautiful little life mattered more than words could ever express. That one tiny grey cat with enormous green eyes brought more happiness into my world than anything else ever has.
Waking up this morning without her beautiful little head nudges, without hearing her tiny paws coming down the hallway, without seeing her gorgeous face peeking around the bedroom door, has been unbearable.
Knowing I’ll never again feel her warm little body curled up in my arms as we fall asleep, stroke her velvety ears, kiss her beautiful face or feel her little head nuzzling against mine is something my heart simply cannot comprehend.
I think I’m still in shock. I feel numb, almost as though my brain is protecting me from the reality that she’s really gone. I know that when it finally sinks in, it’s going to absolutely break me.
I know I need to keep going for her beautiful little brother Bowie, who has known her his entire life. He needs his Mama now more than ever, and I will give him every bit of love and comfort I can. But I don’t know how to navigate a life without my precious girl beside me.
More than anything in this world, I hope with every fibre of my being that our souls will find each other again. I desperately want to believe that one day I’ll hold my beautiful baby girl in my arms again, look into those gorgeous green eyes, and tell her how much I’ve missed her.
My beautiful, sweet little Lucy, thank you for choosing me to be your Mama. Thank you for almost 17 years of unconditional love, happiness, laughter, comfort and the most beautiful memories of my life.
You were my greatest joy, my greatest privilege, and the most beautiful little soul I have ever known.
I hope you knew, right until your very last breath, just how deeply and completely you were loved.
I love you, Lucy. You are, and always will be, my everything 🩷
Until I can hold you again, my beautiful little grey mouse 🐭💔🌈
25 October 2026 🐾