I been dealing with a lot of anxiety lately to the point that I don’t know what to do, in the beginning when my son was born I was mostly afraid that me or my son or my husband was going to die, it terrified me every time I found out of things babies pass away from i would try to prevent all the bad things for happening to keep him alive , at night I would stay up with him while my husband slept because I was afraid to accidentally suffocate him and I couldn’t put him down cause was afraid my son would feel unloved if I did. But eventually everything got better until he turned 1 when the intrusive thoughts started happening , I was terrified and felt very guilty I don’t know why I was thinking the way I was I felt I was becoming a monster or if one day something in my brain would go wrong and I would do something horrible I thought about all those cases I use to watch and thought what if I become like that too, there’s times I think I hope my son is happy im his mom, but there’s other times i think what if I think that way because I don’t love my son, but I know that I love him, but what if I don’t and it makes my heart hurt cause I’m scared to think that way, then one day the anxiety hit me harder than before I was crying uncontrollably my hands felt uncomfortable and shaking and my anxiety was through the roof my son was sleeping and I felt bad but with shaky hands I woke him up and took him to his grandmas house( she lives super close) and I broke down to her how I was feeling she reassured me that everything would be fine and it’s just anxiety but my body wasn’t calming down and I called my mom and my sister it took hours for my anxiety to calm down but I felt fine when it was over my husband said it’s cause I drank caffeine and I don’t usually drink it which might be true cause it happened that one time, but after that I been to the therapist 2 times and while I felt a little better afterwards it still hurts to think what if I don’t love my son, is there anyway to fix me or should I find I kind woman that can give my son all the love in the universe and my husband a normal wife and leave from there life’s I don’t want to be away from them but I want to protect them so bad I don’t know what else to do.

I struggled with intense anxiety from about day 2 of my baby being born. I had insomnia and that caused me to hallucinate and have some really scary thoughts. I took myself to A+E and ended up being transferred to a mum and baby unit for a short stay. I sort of had to fight for this at the hospital but once I got there the care was amazing in the mum and baby unit, the staff were so kind. Here I was finally able to sleep (after being prescribed zopiclone) and eventually the anxiety wasn’t so intense however at about 3 months post partum I started to struggle with depression. I felt really disconnected from myself and my baby, was having scary intrusive thoughts and I just wasn’t enjoying it which made me feel an insane amount of guilt. This went on for about 6 months until I decided to get help from the Perinatal mental health team.

They diagnosed me with depression, anxiety and OCD. I started both sertraline and CBT therapy at the same time about 10 weeks ago.

For about 5 weeks now, I’ve been feeling quite balanced in terms of mood and am experiencing a lot less anxiety and pretty minimal days of low mood. I have not felt detached from myself or the baby.

One of the biggest things that put me off starting sertraline was rumours about how it can numb emotions, even the good ones. But that just hasn’t been my experience atall. Actually the other day I was putting the baby to bed and he was asleep on me and I was just studying his perfect little features and amazed at how cute he was. I always put him to bed, kiss him and tell him I love him. But this time I felt so present and so Much joy, i looked at him and thought wow.. lucky me. I think it was the first time I’ve felt this much joy just by simply looking at him. So definitely hasn’t numbed me.

Also CBT has reframed how I see myself and the situation I’ve found myself in and helped me to look at myself with less judgement and more love.

I really just feel like my old self, but maybe even abit better. Because having gone through that experience, I can’t help but feel so overwhelmingly grateful for feeling peaceful again, feeling joy and being able to be present. Things that i previously just took for granted now feel even more special.

I hope if your struggling you know that what your going through is not your fault and it’s very real. Please ask for help and if you don’t get it first time advocate for yourself until you do as it is out there.

Hi , so 10 months ago I had induced C-section with 30 hours of labor then had a eclampsia , admitted and got home, since then feeling tightness/heaviness on my chest ,No shorteness of breath or pain . just worried about everything. I went to the E.R and they tested for everything, they did echo, xrays, Ctscan,labs at three months pp Nothing was wrong . Only thing is that my resting pulse was in 100 and blood pressure slightly elevated 125s . That is high for me because my bp was usually in low 100/60 . I usually feel that tightness in the evening and when I feel it is when my bp and pulse are a little off . So the doctors think it’s just anxiety and I do believe it might be that but I just can’t seem to relax . I’m concerned my blood pressure is gona be too high or that my pulse ir going to be too high and that something will happen . I don’t want to be checking my vital signs because I’m afraid I’m going to make my anxiety worse . So I’m just wondering if anyone is going thru this and when it went away if it did ?

My husband pressured me to have a kid when I felt like I was in my prime. I was the skinniest I’d ever been and doing great at my job. Pregnancy was hard for me because I had to stop taking my ADHD meds and antidepressant. I also gained a shit ton on weight on top of that. Fast forward to me giving birth where I almost died and now my health anxiety has been so so bad. I can’t take any of the meds I used to take because of my anxiety and don’t know how I’m going to keep doing this. I hate my husband for ruining me. I make more than him and he’s back from his leave while I’m still on leave and claims he needs his sleep so has been leaving me alone with the baby at night. I don’t know what to do I just want to feel like a sliver like myself again. I’m so so miserable and wish I could just run away

Mom of 2 under 2 working part time with a husband who works more than full time and (barely) any childcare. My oldest goes to preschool from 9-12 three days a week but other than that my husband and I work opposite hours because we can’t afford daycare.

Needless to say, we’re exhausted and life isn’t easy. My anxiety has always been a struggle since I was young and became exponentially worse after having kids. I’m on antidepressants and take lorazepam RARELY (only if I feel like I’m having a full blown panic attack).

I feel tense all of the time. One thing I do to cope is use THC throughout the day on the days that I don’t work. I will hit a weed pen a couple of times when I can break away from the kids anywhere from 1-4 times a day (if we aren’t leaving the house). It resets me and calms me down and helps me stop and enjoy the time with my kids rather than stressing about what needs to be done around the house or having an aneurysm when my littlest cries. I feel like it makes me a better mom because it helps to prevent me from sweating the small stuff.

I am starting to feel guilty about it though. Soon enough my kids will start to catch on and I don’t want them to know I do that. It is also expensive and doesn’t feel like a long-term fix. I exercise nearly every day, meditate, eat healthy, therapy, talk to friends, but I still have serious anxiety.

Hoping I’m not alone in this

Pumping while my baby sleeps and fighting a panic attack because I only have one week of maternity leave left. I don’t even have it bad either, I’ve gotten 14 weeks with my girl and I work from home so I’ll still see her throughout the day. I feel so selfish for feeling this way because so many moms don’t get the privileges I have.

But I don’t want to go back to work.

My company is falling apart, too many people in my department have been fired or quit since I’ve been gone, and the people left are egotistical men who think they know how to do your job better than you despite having never done your job before.

The job has changed so much that I have no idea what I’m walking into. All I know is so many people have reached out to me to warn me how awful it is. How the work load has increased, budgets have been cut, and resources are less than we’ve ever worked with before. My boss who I loved isn’t around anymore either.

I am tired. My baby is in feeding therapy and has a severe tongue tie we’ll need to laser in the next week or two. I don’t sleep well at night. I’m breastfeeding and pumping around the clock to keep my supply up and supplementing with formula because she’s had poor weight gain.

My husband (amazing truly but geez) complains about being tired all the time yet I’m the one up breastfeeding all night. He works graveyard, 3 night a week, so the nights he’s not working and I am the next day I will expect more help at night, and he’s willing and understanding but I cannot handle the complaining and negativity.

What am I gonna do when I’m sleep deprived, getting the big kids off to school in the morning, coming back to work, no naps, picking big kids up, then making dinner, fighting the baby to sleep, up all night, then back up the next day to do it all again?

I’m in therapy every week. That’s been helping the anxiety a lot, but as I loom on my last week of leave my thoughts are racing and anxiety is through the roof. I fear the only thing that can help this is facing it and I DREAD facing it.

My LO is 2 weeks old , he’s been sounding congested and a little wheezy idk if it’s my anxiety or if it’s all just normal baby things ☹️ terrified of rsv and all the other sickness he could get.

My daughter is turning a year old on Tuesday. My sleep since she was born been horrible I can never sleep early I sleep from 2 ,3,4 am which is not good because I have other kids to look after . I had bad anemia before and after labor with her my levels were on a 7 I’m not sure if is pp insomnia or anemia related. My energy is also very low , I do sleep in after children go to school , however even after 1 year later I feel like my sleep haven’t been fixed , anyone else experiencing or have experienced this before ? Drop tips ! Thanks

Has anyone else had this problem? I noticed since I had 2 drinks in one weekend, later that night I ended up waking up with bad nausea and throwing up, I don’t usually throw up or feel like that only after 2 which I though was extremely odd I wasn’t even drunk or tipsy, the next time I only had one drink and about 2 hours later I ended up having severe stomach pain and gas, and had to make myself vomit from nausea which was extremely acidic and sour tasting which was gross, I’m only 12 weeks postpartum with my second, and this did not happen with my first, looking for answers bc wtf, not drinking for a while after that.

I started very slowly at 2.5 > 5 > now 10mg for 3 weeks and a few days. I felt great all last week and now the last four days have been shit again. When will I feel better? 😭

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I’m 5mo pp and I return to work in 2 weeks. I had just gotten a promotion before leaving and feel scared about returning to work. I have these waves of anxiety where I just feel like my boss regrets hiring me. I’m really trying to reel it in. Anything to help calm the crazy would be appreciated.

I am 9 months PP today. The last month or so I have developed panic attacks that happen almost daily. I think they are caused by health anxiety. I have so many random pains (chest pain, arm pain, leg pain) that I constantly get into a spiral I am dying and somethings wrong with me.

My labor and delivery went great. I had a weird out of body experience but was fine besides that. I have developed weird acid reflux like symptoms with no burning acid feeling, and a rash that I’m not sure could be eczema or psoriasis (family history).

I am going to the doctor this week but don’t even know where to start with the doc. I don’t want him to think I’m crazy, but want to find out what’s wrong with me. I can’t tell if the anxiety is starting all those symptoms, or if these symptoms are starting the anxiety, but I need help. I’m sleeping fine, stopped BF 5 months PP, but feel like this was so delayed.

Any relatable stories or advice is appreciated. I just feel so alone and terrified.

**What is the difference between intrusive thoughts and delusions?**
I’m 22 days postpartum, and I’ve always had intrusive thoughts, even before pregnancy. Looking back, I realize I’ve experienced them for a long time. I was able to manage them throughout my pregnancy without medication, but about two weeks before giving birth, they started getting stronger.
Now that I’ve given birth, they feel extremely intense and strange. I don’t believe these thoughts are true, but they cause me a lot of anxiety, distress, and shame. I started taking sertraline (25 mg) about two weeks ago. I’ve had some good days when the thoughts feel more manageable, but sometimes they still come back.
I’m now terrified of developing postpartum psychosis or experiencing the beginning of psychosis. I know the thoughts are intrusive, but their intensity and unusual content scare me.
**How can you tell the difference between intrusive thoughts and true delusions?** What does a delusion actually feel like, and how is it different from having a disturbing thought that you don’t believe but that causes you a lot of distress?
I would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has experienced postpartum OCD or postpartum anxiety. English isn’t my first language, so I’m sorry if anything is unclear. Thank you!

**What is the difference between intrusive thoughts and delusions?**
I’m 22 days postpartum, and I’ve always had intrusive thoughts, even before pregnancy. Looking back, I realize I’ve experienced them for a long time. I was able to manage them throughout my pregnancy without medication, but about two weeks before giving birth, they started getting stronger.
Now that I’ve given birth, they feel extremely intense and strange. I don’t believe these thoughts are true, but they cause me a lot of anxiety, distress, and shame. I started taking sertraline (25 mg) about two weeks ago. I’ve had some good days when the thoughts feel more manageable, but sometimes they still come back.
I’m now terrified of developing postpartum psychosis or experiencing the beginning of psychosis. I know the thoughts are intrusive, but their intensity and unusual content scare me.
**How can you tell the difference between intrusive thoughts and true delusions?** What does a delusion actually feel like, and how is it different from having a disturbing thought that you don’t believe but that causes you a lot of distress?
I would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has experienced postpartum OCD or postpartum anxiety. English isn’t my first language, so I’m sorry if anything is unclear. Thank you!