r/Mommit • u/orangeshoelace3416 • 5d ago
Intrusive thoughts
Sometimes I feel like being a mother is a terrible thing. I worry so much for my children - alllll the time. Thinking about random horrible things that could happen to them. So much anxiety and scary thoughts about all these what ifs. Praying that they live long and healthy lives. I am currently on mat leave. I have a 3.5 year old and a 10 month old. I cannot understand how people send their kids to school and leave them with complete strangers. I have to go back to work but I don't know how I am going to do it. So many bad things happen to our sweet innocent children everyday and it is driving me crazy to think about. I feel like I will be sick with worry until the day I die. How do I manage this? :(
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u/Pamela625 5d ago
You set them up for success by teaching them as much as you can loving them letting them fail and helping them figure it out,but ENJOY IT don’t let fear rule it let love acceptance and safe place to land for them don’t be critical or pushy let them blossom ✝️❤️🙏🏻
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u/orangeshoelace3416 4d ago
This is what we are trying to do but there are so many evil people in the world:(
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u/Pamela625 3d ago
There are more good than bad get into a good church there are really good people there start volunteering at animal shelter or women’s shelter you will meet good people that way too
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u/WittyPair240 4d ago
I struggle with this too. It sounds like it's reached a level where you'd benefit from speaking with a professional. It's normal to worry, it's not normal (or healthy) to be consumed with worry.
I wanted to touch on what you said about leaving your children with complete strangers. They're only strangers for a little while. You can be a very involved parent in school/daycare and hopefully become more comfortable over time. It's not perfect but it's something that's helped me. Although, my children both had to start daycare as infants. I started them on half days for the first two weeks so we could all ease into it. Then I would go visit them on my lunch breaks for the first few months. I know that's not feasible for everyone. It got better with time. We've even use one former daycare teacher as a babysitter now. Im still very vigilant, but isolation would bring its own set of issues. My 3.5 year old loves school and her teachers.
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u/orangeshoelace3416 4d ago
Thank you. My mom cared for my son when I went back to work, and then I was only back for a year before I left again to have my daughter. I've been with them so much and for so long I think it is making the separation anxiety worse. The world is so crazy it makes it hard for me to trust people. I worry about bullies. And I know with my job I won't be able to be as involved, visiting during lunch etc. I'll have to search for a professional or I'll drive myself crazy. ♡
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u/Low-Storm4041 4d ago
The scary things are loud. Bad news gets clicks and views. Yes we need to keep our children safe and be aware of what could happen but we also can't think the world is 100% terrible. It's a constant balance of risk versus reward and knowing actual stats and facts about your community and risk levels help us make informed decisions. Teaching our children how to interact with the world appropriately (no secrets, body boundaries, etc) gives us a layer of protection we didn't have when we were children.
Therapy helps. Medication helps. Having some worry is okay. Being sick with worry is going to actually make you sick. That level of stress is not good for the body long term.
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u/AnnofAvonlea 5d ago
Medication and therapy helped me a lot. I take Effexor and see an ERP therapist, and it’s reduced my anxiety a lot. I still struggle, but the worries feel further away in my psyche, almost like seeing a mountain in the distance rather than being in a volcano. I encourage you to seek professional help. Sending hugs!