Well, yesterday night baby had to go into emergency surgery for NEC. His heart defects are still unrepaired, he’s intubated and on so many medications right now. The doctor just came in and told us he doesn’t think he’ll make it through the night. That his heart is only going to go under more stress over the night before he has to go back to surgery again tomorrow. He made us decide whether we wanted resuscitation orders which involves chest compressions, possibly broken ribs, and shock. How could we have decided to put our 1 month baby through more suffering like that just for our benefit. But i’m not ready to lose him😭 my husband and I were in denial our whole pregnancy and first month of his life that he wouldn’t make it. I refused to believe there was nothing they could do for him, now that’s exactly what they’re telling me. He doesn’t qualify for surgery or for a heart transplant and the only option pretty much now is to let him pass peacefully. My heart is broken i’m still in denial i don’t know what to do i can barely even look at his little face. I can’t believe this is my reality. I can’t believe the world is just supposed to go on as mines is ending. And i still have a toddler to be strong for. Oh, my beautiful baby.

Many of you are already aware of my baby’s situation that I mentioned in my prior posts but things haven’t been so clear to me honestly. It started with him being in the NICU for about a month due to feeding issues only to find out that the reason he couldn’t stay awake long enough to finish a bottle was due to a really rare metabolic genetic condition called D2hydroxygluturic aciduria that is mostly fatal and it affected his heart, he has severe dilated cardiomyopathy which explains the excessive tiredness and the condition also causes seizures and it is a neurodegenerative disorder so doctors say it’s only going to get worse. He was placed on phenobarbital and that made him extremely sedated, he didn’t open his eyes for weeks and doctors said that it was part of the disease progression however he has opened his eyes everyday for at least the last month. He has been able to be weaned off of the epinephrine that was keeping his blood pressure from dropping too low and he is completely weaned off of the captipril and milrinone(I know I spelled those wrong but those are heart medications). Basically he is only on high flow oxygen right now and the gene therapy medication that is supposed to regulate the high acid levels in his body from the genetic mutation and may or may not improve some of his heart function. He got a heart echo a couple of days ago and they compared it to the one he had 30 days prior and it showed no significant changes so they said even without the medication it’s considered stable. Not better or worse. He smiles sometimes, he seems alert and can hear noises and he is gaining weight as he is being fed through the ng tube. All of these good signs and the doctors keep pushing palliative care and making sure “that I understand that his prognosis is not good” they keep asking me if I’m aware of what is going on with my baby. They keep asking me what am I expecting to happen. They themselves said they don’t have that much information about this disease especially when it presents in an infant so how can they be so sure. They said he isn’t a candidate for a heart transplant because of his genetic condition and seizures I just feel lost because when I see my baby he seems to be improving somewhat but the tone just doesn’t seem the same from the doctors. It’s like they just want me to give up. I agreed to do a DNR in November because they shamed me for putting him through procedures that could be painful but I removed it soon after and the doctors literally told me he probably only had a day or possibly up to a week at most to live so the fact that it’s been over 2 months since that conversation surprises everyone but I feel like they don’t know what to do with him. He is a Children’s Hospital of Orange County they are supposed to be one of the best. Please I need advice this is so crazy. My baby really wants to be here.

Getting to the point where he could have a visit took us 3.5 months, so naturally, I was excited to finally introduce my son to my family. My older daughter was more excited than she was on Christmas or her birthday. My dad, my only parent, was moved to the point of tears. My son's godmother gave him a warm welcome into our family. And my MIL? Reacted to my silly little "He's perfect, isn't he?" with "Well, he's not perfect, he is ill."

I am still so enraged by this I'm honestly surprised I didn't commit a crime right then.

It's been so many months and I know my MIL truly loves my son just like all of her grandchildren, but this is still weighing me down. People are so thoughtless, lack empathy and say such stupid sh*t.

What are some bad and nice things people said to you?

Adding a hilarious and nice thing one of my friends said upon seeing my boy for the first time: "Oh, he's beautiful, he's cute! I thought preemies all looked the same but he's different and he's beautiful!" Other nice things people said: "That's the face of a warrior!" "Well, you did it again. [Made a beautiful baby.]" "I can see he's going to be alright, he looks so strong and he has you."

As a mom of a 27-week preemie, I’m not gonna lie, I’m sometimes a little jealous of parents who have short NICU stays.

A content creator I follow just had a baby at 37 weeks and had some complications resulting in a 6 day NICU stay. And of course that was a huge deal to her and very hard to not bring her baby home right away. But realistically it was less than a week and she’s talking about it like it was an eternity and like being a NICU mom is her whole new personality. I know there is still trauma involved in that experience, but can’t help but compare it with my own life … my girl has been in the NICU for a month and will be there for at least another month.

I know this is my own issue and I should probably just unfollow and not think about it again. Idk I just get triggered unexpectedly sometimes even though in my day to day life, I feel mentally/emotionally all right.

6 days in the NICU is hard but holy shit, MONTHS without being able to bring your baby home is an entirely different experience and almost feels incomparable. Sometimes I think about the fact that she’s lived her entire life in a single room, she’s never seen the sun, never breathed fresh air… when nurses make a move towards her face she actually raises up her little arms to defend herself, because she knows something uncomfortable is going to happen.

I’m not saying I have it the worst ever because I know plenty of people have it way harder than me.

Can any other long haul NICU parents relate?

My son was born at 28+6 and is now 40+3 and we have been at the NICU for over 11 weeks. I am just fed up, and have extreme mom guilt. I have 3 other children, and I barely get time to see him but a few hours a day, and I have noticed he is starting to get super attached to me when I am there. Once I pick him up, he can literally sleep on my chest for hours, and when I try to put him down he starts wailing like it's the end of the world. It breaks my heart 🥹. The issue is level 2 chronic lung disease, where he is steady on 2L of oxygen, but he gets worked up pretty quickly during feeds, only being able to take 15-20mil by bottle before he is struggling to breath and causing some aspiration. So they have him taking small amounts by bottle every other feeds, and then he gets tube fed the rest. They won't repeat the swallow test for another 2 weeks, and even after that they still need time to see how he will adjust to any new feeding plans.

Lately, the doctors and nurses have been throwing around the idea of possibly getting him a G tube so he can go home, and we can continue working with his feeding at home with the speech therapist. At first, me and my husband were totally against it, but now the idea of him being up there for weeks/months on end to figure out feeding is sounding worse than the feeding tube. But my husband is still dead set against it.

It is really upsetting to me, because I am literally breaking myself to try to be there with him everyday, while still trying to be there for my other kiddos as well. My husband barely goes to see him once a week, and when he does go, he spends probably no more than 30mins to an hour, and sometimes doesn't even hold him. On top of which, we only have one vehicle, that is supposed to be mine because my mother shipped it to me after my husband's car broke down, but he uses it everyday leaving me with basically no vehicle. So I am spending $40+ dollars a day taking Lyfts back and forth to the hospital to the point the drivers now all know me by name smh (my son now has Lyft 'aunties' that always send their love when they drop me off 😔).

I brought the idea up again to him about just doing the G tube after his next swallow test, even if we don't plan on using it, just to get him home and work on bottle feeding him from home. He has flat out refused, saying he will never cut open his son unless it is life or death, and everyone will have to convince him that it is life or death, and he is prepared to keep him in the hospital for months if that's what it takes for him to eat by mouth. And the thought of him being there for even 3 more weeks is crushing me.

Has anyone been through similar experiences? How do you cope when you and your spouse completely disagree with care taking needs for your kids?

Me, I’m the crybaby. I cry every single time I leave my daughter in the NICU. She was born 27+1. She’s 29+2 now. There is a nurse who makes it a big deal every time she catches me crying. Like I’m already embarrassed enough, postpartum and sad. But today I’m leaving and crying and stop to talk to my daughter nurse and she yells down the hall, “is she crying again?!” 😐 my husband goes to see our daughter tonight after work and the same nurse came up to him and asks does your wife cry every time she leaves? Like back off. I feel so embarrassed and invalidated. I’m devastated that I’m leaving my first baby in the care of strangers everyday. I’m going home to a quiet home. How could anyone not be sad.

Edit: the reason I hesitate to report or say anything is because I’m a nurse myself and I know what idk i feel like idk betraying her or something

As we’ve been in the NICU, I’ve been collecting some of the most insensitive things people have told me about being in the NICU… thought it could be cathartic to share some of those wild comments… I’ll go first:

1. “Enjoy it while you can. Soon he will be crying at home”
2. “That’s not so bad”
3. “Your baby is in the NICU and you’re here?!” (While taking my dog on a walk after 8 hours of being in the hospital)
4. “That is so horrible I can’t even imagine not being able to hold my baby”

edit: you have all made me feel very validated and not alone 🫂

I’ve had such a bad time with them. Conflicting information, guilt tripping me, information leading me to get mastitis. From listening to them I went from a full supply to a greatly diminished one, and had so much grief and pain.

They also constantly contradict each other and make me question myself, when I know what’s working for my body. It has been so frustrating, invalidating, and honestly traumatizing as I’ve gone through the NICU. It is hard enough recovering from an emergency c section and having both twins hospitalized without having some lactation consultant constantly guilt tripping me for not pumping enough or on a perfect schedule.

anyone relate? :/

Hi I'm new here, so I had my 7th baby almost a month ago. She was born at 34wks with undetected HLHS. She's in the NICU currently, we really don't know how long she'll be there because her heart condition appeared kind of out of the blue. I'm home, I've been home for a few days, after being in the hospital for 3 weeks after birth.

I had a C-hyst and had some serious complications from my delivery. I usually stayed with my babies when they had to stay in the NICU in the past. With this baby I've decided to trust the staff with her and not stay with her. Today has been the first time that I didn't visit her and I feel awful 💔. She didn't chose to enter the world this way and I feel bad for ditching her for a day to go to church, and spend some time with our other kids.

Our baby girl was born at 34 weeks and was in the NICU for 17 days. I totally get that 17 days is not a long time compared to some...but our medical bills are out of control. I finally broke down and created a gofundme. Our girl also has a vascular ring and is having sole complications so every week Our balance goes up.

I'm stressed that will start to turn us away. We owe over $10,000 already 😭

Man I am so over this. Day 58 no sign of going home. (Her original due date march 29th) I have been SO enthusiastic and positive for the most part but now? I am so over it. Done faking a smile for the staff, friends and family. I just want to throw in the towel but obviously not an option.

I go to therapy and I can float by with that. It’s just that nobody freaking understands and they all say the same stupid crap when you try to express your emotions. I just want someone to say “wow this fcking sucks what do you need” instead of trying to fix my situation or offer their positive POV.

I’m going to scream if I hear one more “you get more quality time with baby in the nicu at least than at home” or “you’re almost done” or “she’s ready!” Or “life is hard sometimes” or “you’re stronger than you think” or “shes coming home soon” or “at least now you can prepare” or the WORST comment “visit us soon” (they live 9 hrs away) UGH those comments make me want to isolate myself and my emotions tbh.

These walls feel like they’re closing in on me. I want to scream and cry and tell people to fck off. The only thing that matters is this sweet baby. It’s like that point in the marathon where I want to quit but I can’t. She’s come so far and I’m so damn grateful that she’s made it this far but this still sucks. Please tell me someone else here understands.

Hi all. My baby was in the NICU with suspected moderate HIE and while he was there I took pictures of him. He is now home which I am so grateful for. Every time I look at the pictures of him in NICU with all the wires and cooling blanket I just burst into tears. It just really physically pains me to know all that he went through and I just feel so awful about it. I’m debating whether to delete the photos off my phone as I’d rather not remember his time there but I feel hesitant to do it.

UPDATE: thank you all for the replies and advice - I will hide the photos so that they’re not immediately there but I still have them if I ever need them down the line. 🤍

Hi everyone! I currently have a 3 week old in the NICU. She was born at 22+2. She is SO strong and has proven everyone wrong so far with how well she’s doing. They couldn’t be sure that she would make it since she is so little. Every day is a miracle. Every day is a victory. She’s already gone through so much, including a surgery on her intestines 2 days ago. My heart broke when I couldn’t be there with her. I am a stay at home mom with only one working vehicle which my husband uses for work, so visiting her has been very limited. It breaks my heart. I have so many emotions going on in my head. Grieving the pregnancy that I couldn’t finish, the time we won’t get to share as Mommy and baby in my tummy, not being able to talk to her and sing to her. All the things I was able to do with my first baby I can’t do with my second and my heart breaks and longs for that connection. I love going to visit her and talk to her and I can’t wait for the day I get to hold her in my arms (still haven’t been able to hold her as I can’t ever make her touch times 😞). It’s just been very rough! Trying to stay positive. Joining this page is me trying to find a place where I’m understood I guess. All my love to everyone here who has gone through this or is currently! 🩷🩷🩷

I'll say it, I wished away MONTHS of my sons life. I love him and would do anything for him, but I don't regret wishing it would fly by without a trace!!!! That term irked me as parents of perfectly healthy babies kept saying "don't wish the time away" as I spent WEEKS only seeing my son in an ICU. As he struggled recovering from surgeries and learning to breathe and eat, which by the way it didn't really "get better" he ended up with another surgery and is still on a gtube. His life is soooo much better now but the "you're going to miss this" just does not register with me. Sure we look at his smaller clothing and go "aww he was so small" but there's not one part of me that wants to go back. 🤷🏼‍♀️ in fact he is just now thriving and gaining independence at 6 months old and seeing him be able to interact with the world more and more only excites me for his sake. I LOVE time flying and seeing him not suffer anymore. I absolutely would skip that younger stage of struggles over and over and over again.

Anyone else have experiences that just do NOT register because you're a NICU parent?

(Pictures are baby before his last big surgery last Friday and after his urgent surgery yesterday)

Sitting alone in this hospital room all day, not able to hold him and barely being able to touch him without him getting upset or being in pain.

He just had urgent unplanned surgery yesterday and as a result had to just be packed to give his body rest so they can go back in tomorrow. Seeing him in so much pain makes me physically ill and I haven't been able to stop crying all day. I've been here since 8 am just trying to keep it together and spend some time with him but it hurts to look at him. I feel so bad about everything that's happening to him and wish I could take all that pain for him.

What makes it worse is being here alone, dad had to work today so he couldn't come with me, but he got off at 5pm. I honestly thought that he was going to surprise me and come up after work so we could spend some time together as a family for my first mother's day, but nope. Just bragged about the home cooked dinner his mom made him and has just been at home playing video games since while I'm here crying my eyes out about everything and stuck eating leftover hospital food.

I think the thing that just upset me the most today was seeing all these other NICU moms holding their babies and playing with them and I saw SOOOO many full families having lunch and little celebrations for the moms, and it made me so happy for them but broke me inside. All I wanted was to be able to hold my baby again, that's the only thing I wanted for mother's day. I didn't care that his dad didn't get me a gift, I didn't care if he didn't even tell me happy mother's day (he did do this at least), but I just wanted to be able to hold my little miracle again. And I would've been able to, had his last surgery not failed and his bowel bust open leaking everything into his body, causing sepsis and making it so that he will have to have an ostomy (hopefully reversible).

I just needed to vent everything, I don't really have any friends to talk to and especially none that understand how hard the NICU life is, and it just makes me feel so alone sometimes. I just hate how it seems like we take 1 step forward then the next day it's 20 steps back. Little man just can't catch a break and it feels like I can't either. Also I'm not entirely upset at dad, we are having money issues right now and the hospital is an hour away from home so it's not easy to get out here so I understand him not coming, but I just wish he would've done anything more than just a sleepy happy mother's day before I left this morning.

Okay rant over, first mother's day was not a happy one, but here's hoping next year will be better, and I hope all of y'all had the best mother's days you could! 💜

Hi everyone, as the title suggests I have been told that nobody expected my son to still be here and I understand why. His heart efraction rate dropped to around 9% at once then it went up to 15%. About a month ago the doctors decided to stop all of his heart meds because they didn’t feel like they were helping him, I requested that they continue to do echocardiograms because how would they know if his heart was getting worse. They pushed back and kind of let me know that continuing to do those would be pointless but I got my wish and on January 21st his efraction was at 21% and the latest one done was reading about 28!! Still considered severe heart failure but good to see his numbers going up. One of the neonatologists called me last week and said they are in talks with another team to see if he can safely go home and receive care from a nurse because right now he is stable. He is still critically ill but for Justin he has been stable. She said nobody knows how long he will fight but he has surpassed their expectations. Also if he was to come home and needed to be hospitalized again that is what we will do. On one side I’m elated about his improvement and just the possibility of bringing a car seat to take him home for the first time and the other I’m scared because there aren’t really monitors to check his heart rate and oxygen and blood pressure constantly and I would hate for him to get sicker because I can’t do what the hospital is doing for him at home. He has been awake and making little baby noises more which he rarely did due to his condition. His urine output and poop has been great each day without any diuretics and his blood pressures and heart rates have all been good and it doesn’t look like he is having outward seizures like before(it’s likely that he is still having the seizures that can only be seen on the monitor) but that’s kind of expected with what he has. He doesn’t seem to be in distress, he hasn’t needed any morphine or verced, he really seems comfortable. He is currently on 7 liters high flow 21% down from 10 liters and the only meds he is getting now are his seizure meds and his mitochondria one called enasidenib which has been shown to improve cardiac function and social interaction and daily motility in the few kids that received it. Is it possible that the enasidenib is finally helping him get better? This medication was suggested after he got diagnosed back in November by the metabolic team and they were really optimistic about it they fought hard to get him this very expensive medication and said it would basically be his only chance to live but when his heart function got worse they were going to stop it because they said it wasn’t helping him. The medicine is like a cancer medication and it targets the bad gene mutation and regulates the acid in his body that was high because of his condition. Is it possible we are just now seeing the results of that medication? Any input and comments/criticism would be appreciated. If I don’t reply to everyone right away sorry I’m experiencing a lot of emotions right now.

I posted on my local group on Reddit to get recommendation for quieter spacious restaurants or cafes to go with my preemie who is on oxygen to reduce the chance of him catching bugs and there were some very mean comments, now deleted, saying it's madness, selfish, and I need to stay home. I know I should not care about what a couple of keyboard warriers should say but it has really upset me and made me doubt myself... is this what life is like post-nicu? I feel like anyone who hasn't lived it doesn't get it.

Why do people always think having a baby in NICU means it is more relaxing for the parents? Not having the baby at home doesn’t mean life is still easy. My wife still has to constantly pump milk and I would help with the washing. I have to go to the hospital to deliver the milk everyday and spend time with him.I would rather have sleepless night with him healthy by my side than him inside the NICU. He’s a preemie.

She's an ex prem at 24 weeks and turns 4 in a few months. She said something that really fucked me up today, we had to take her to an ophthalmologist for a follow up eye test today after a surgery she had last year, she needed her eyes dilated for it and on our way home she said "Dad my eye's aren't working... why do I have to do so many things" and fuck she's right it's not fair that she needs to have so many medical appointments, she's had 3 hospital admissions in the last 4 months from respiratory virisus, we have to give her so many different fucking medications all the time that she hates, I have to take her for a blood test next week that I'll need to physically pin her down for so they can draw it, its fucked up what she has to go through.

Sorry for the language I'm just so frustrated with it all.

42 days in the NICU and this is the automatic email I got. Laughed my butt off seeing it - but only because I knew that it was automatic. If I didn’t know what a joke this was, then I would have fainted.

How are your NICUs set up? We are in one giant open room with like 20 giraffes. It’s so hard to see my daughter get a new neighbor and watch them leave a day or two later over and over and over 😭

Well hello..! When I had my son preterm, I posted in this subreddit a lot. I posted a lot when he fell sick with Bacterial Meningitis caused by E. Coli. By son has suffered seizures that led to a stroke on the right side of his brain, causing that brain tissue to die and be replaced with more CFS. His infection had He has severe hydrocephalus and a VP shunt with one failure so far, he is deaf in his left ear from the meningitis, he is also fed via G-Tube and gets medications multiple times daily for seizures, high muscle tone, neuro irritability, feeding intolerance.

147 days in the NICU—almost 7 months at home. My son is almost 11 months old (9 1/2 months adjusted). My son is in PT, OT, speech therapy, stacked home therapies, he sees all specialists ranging from audiology to neurosurgery 3 hours away from where we live.
Coming home I was nervous, nervous about his feeding pump and medications. I can’t tell you how fast me and his father got the hang of everything. My son still doesn’t really eat by mouth much at all, but we still practice and do a lot of tasting. He still can’t sit, crawl on his own. He can roll how he knows how to with the left side of his body being more stiff from his stroke.
The reason why I’m deciding to post here again.. the PTSD. You have no time to process when you have a baby in the NICU, whatever the reason may be. While in the midst of it all, I was told I was being so strong when I was drowning it all out. There was no time to process in the hospital, there was no time to process when we got home being thrown into parenthood and a caregiving position to our first baby. My son was born in October, in Minnesota the weather is getting cooler and things are getting harder for me mentally. I remember the smell of the cold early mornings walking over to the hospital, the frost on the grass, the crunch, the smell of the leaves, the asian beetles, the dermoplast, the witch hazel pads, the perfume I bought when I was postpartum. The other week I went online shopping on walmart and seen the “fall selections” and broke down because everything flooded back. I miss being able to produce breastmilk, the little that I could. I miss pumping but at the same time I really don’t. I miss hand expressing and seeing and hearing the stream “sssssssss”. I miss the feeling of a let down but I have no energy to try and re-lactate and I would have to stop some of my mental health medications which I cant do.

I still struggle a lot on the “ why” of everything. How did he get E.Coli? What is from the NICU, a nurse, a visitor, my prolonged ruptured membranes? Himself? Why were we discharged then and how crazy is it that we were back in the same NICU 24 hours later? From healthy and discharged to septic shock and bacterial meningitis. Just how, just why. It’s also really hard living in an area where no ERs know how to really do… anything… like anything at all. We had to drive 3 hours to get my son’s G-Tube back in place after I couldn’t get it in myself because his site was really irritated after he pulled it out. We live in an area where people are not exposed to disabled children.
My son is doing very well considering everything he has gone through, seriously. The next year or so is nerve wracking because that is when we will see what damage was “actually done” with his development.Myself on the other hand? Not so much with fall coming around the corner. I am in therapy now and I’m so happy about that. But I still feel such a deep sadness and ache for what happened to my little baby. Is it worse to have something/someone to blame or nothing at all?

I came in at 8 this morning and there was a cuddler holding my baby.

The first thing she says to me is that she was holding her because my baby was not getting enough attention at night.

I needed to pump and wanted her to put my baby down so I could have the room and she just insisted that I pump in the room and she turn the chair away.

She then asks me when baby is going home (my pet peeve question… this is not a small talk question for any nicu parent I know) so I just say we are on baby’s timeline. Next she asks if baby is taking bottles (baby has an NG tube) so I told her we are working on breast feeding first and she responds “Well aren’t they giving her bottles since you’re not here at night?” And I said no and she just went silent.

Just to have some random stranger questioning my child’s plan that was fully following the providers’ recommendations is really getting to me. I am struggling so much with guilt of splitting time between baby and toddler at home and can only spend the night 3x per week. I don’t think she meant harm but hearing that all really just crushed me when I feel like I’m trying so hard.

Update: I shared with my nurse and she is going to share with the director about the cuddler. Thank you all for the validation - I know I’m sensitive and heightened right now and it’s tough knowing when to pick my battles.

We recently welcomed our first baby, a beautiful little girl who was born 6 weeks premature. She is currently in the NICU and is expected to stay there until the end of September.

The last several weeks have been emotionally exhausting. I’ve been going back and forth between home and the hospital constantly because I want to be with my daughter as much as possible. I’m already struggling with the guilt of leaving her at the hospital, even though I know she’s exactly where she needs to be.

My husband owns a company and works extremely long hours. I understand that he has responsibilities at work, and I’m not upset with him for working. He does come to the hospital and spend time with our daughter.

Recently, though, he mentioned that he would like me to be home more.

And honestly, that really hurt.

I already feel like I’m being pulled in a million different directions. I feel guilty when I’m not at the hospital with my baby, and now I feel guilty for not being home enough for my husband and our dogs.

We have two dogs, and I do try to make it home during the day whenever I can to let them out and take care of things. When my husband is home, I’m home too. It’s not like I’m choosing to be at the hospital instead of spending time with him when he’s actually home.

I told him that when he says he wants me home more, it makes me feel like I’m being put in a position where I have to choose between being there for him and being there for our daughter. He says that isn’t what he’s asking me to do, but I’m struggling to understand what the balance is supposed to look like right now.
Our daughter is premature and in the NICU, and I feel like this is one of those times where I need to be there for her as much as I possibly can. At the same time, I don’t want my husband to feel abandoned or like he doesn’t matter.

I know this is a huge adjustment for both of us, and neither of us expected our first few weeks as parents to look like this.

So, Reddit, how do I balance this?

Am I being unreasonable for spending so much time at the hospital with our baby? Should I be making more of an effort to be home, or is this just one of those situations where it’s okay for the NICU to take up most of my time right now?

I genuinely want advice on how to make this work without feeling like I’m failing everyone.

Please share/vent comments people have said during your NICU journey.

5 days after I had my 32 week old baby, my SIL (33 weeks pregnant) said the most offensive thing. She said she was jealous of me, because I didn't have to "suffer a full pregnancy"