r/MtF • • 14d ago

Mod Post A Change in Discourse

210 Upvotes

Hello everyone! 

We have an update we'd like to share with you all regarding how we discuss a few topics here on r/MtF. 

We have noticed a growing trend of words, phrases, and discourse that originates from several different online spaces which do not share the same set of rules we have established here in our home.  We all have come to expect transphobia from the outside, and you make us proud by being quick to report posts or comments that break our rules.  Your consistent efforts in keeping our community safe are not taken for granted and it truly does help us moderate a subreddit of this size quickly and efficiently. 

Transphobia from within the community is more complex and challenging to moderate at times.  We have taken steps today to guide us all along a path towards a healthier community discourse, and we will be relying on your continued support in this endeavor.

Containment of Dysphoric & Transphobic Language

Each subreddit exists for a specific purpose.  This subreddit is dedicated for transfeminine people to have a space of our own to discuss our lives as it relates to being trans.  We have established a set of rules we hold ourselves to that serves as our guide in protecting this space.  There are other subreddits which have their own set of rules and expectations that work for their communities, but management of dysphoric and transphobic language is one such rule that we are expanding in Rule #3 Be Respectful.

Going forward, we will be removing posts and comments that contain slang words or phrases that tear ourselves or each other down on the basis of transness.  Other spaces are free (and have their own reasons) to converse as they see fit, but it will not continue here.

In addition, discussions of several other communities consistently pull in an influx of people from those communities and lead to conflict here; to prevent this, we will also be removing posts or comments that name those communities.

Expanding Rule #3

Starting today, Rule #3 will additionally cover:

  • Self-imposed or weaponized dysphoric words & phrases used in various online spaces (4chan, X/Twitter, Transmedical, etc.)
  • Links to the above spaces or communities

The ability to link to several subreddits and some websites has been removed, but the list is a living document that may change in the future as needed.

Any posts or comments that mention words or phrases that go against this rule will be filtered or removed, based on their context.  This too is a living document that may change in the future as needed.

Users who intentionally attempt to circumvent the rule are subject to temporary and permanent bans, which will be handled by moderator discretion.

As our head moderator said 7 months ago,

"Going forward, our focus is simple: keep this a space where people feel safe, supported, and able to be themselves without fear. We’ll keep listening, keep improving, and keep showing up for you—but we need your help in doing the same for each other. Take care of yourselves, take care of one another, and let’s move ahead together."


r/MtF • • 1d ago

[ Megathread ] [Megathread] Weekly Discussions on Transphobic News, Politics, and People

2 Upvotes
  • Please direct all posts regarding transphobic news, political discourse, and discussions of popular bigots to this space. It will refresh each week with a clean slate to maintain relativity and organizational thought.
  • Also, identical links are on a seven day timeout, meaning the same URL cannot be posted within a seven day period, in order to keep the discussion threads focused in one space.
  • Lastly, please remember that we are a community of many cultures and beliefs. You are not required to adhere to any creed, religion, or political party to participate but the content of your words will be held to the standard of our community rules.

r/MtF • • 3h ago

Trigger Warning Number one trends on reddit is detrans????

112 Upvotes

So if I click on reddits search bar, number one on trends is detrans. I dont want to be on reddit anymore. Is there any alternatives for this bs?


r/MtF • • 7h ago

Discussion Was on anti-meme but genuine question?

61 Upvotes

tit is too aggressive boob is too funny breast is too formal
What is your preferred term?

Like mine aren’t big enough to wanna call Boobs yet but I’m not gonna say my nipples omg.


r/MtF • • 10h ago

Milestone! My facial hairs have been permanently obliterated :D

94 Upvotes

We'll see if I ever need to go in again, but now after not having touched my face with a razor for around 2 months and not having any hairs come in, I think I'm done with facial laser. I don't have much if any peach fuzz either, so I'll probably skip out on any electrolysis.

Had 14 sessions of LHR (not IPL) done, most of the last ones were just touching up small areas, and just canceled my upcoming session (left a thank you note and got a nice text from the tech too <3)

Just wanted to share as I'm pretty ecstatic about (probably) not having to shave my face ever again. (And also, if you're currently going through laser hair removal, stick with it girlie! It's so worth it)

EDIT: Starting point (the awful denial beard 😭) vs Now


r/MtF • • 13h ago

Venting This Needs To Be Said About Reddit Pushing Detrans Propaganda

170 Upvotes

I can't say it here even though i'm not the one with blood on my hands, but comedian Bill Hicks already said it about people who work in marketing and advertising. Yes marketing and advertising people at Reddit that is for you for being complicit in genocide.


r/MtF • • 9h ago

Euphoria I was just reminded of the Stardew Valley affirmation hehe

70 Upvotes

I mean, aside from characters calling me "Ms." and a "girl", and using my chosen name, it literally refuses to let me into the men's locker room.

And why is my character so gender

awawawawawa


r/MtF • • 8h ago

Advice Question Can anyone that’s been through bottom surgery tell me what it’s like for the first few days?

63 Upvotes

I’m about to have my bottom surgery in one more month, and I’m so so so so so so sooooo scared and terrified and excited but mainly scared about what it’s going to be like when I wake up.

Like, I’m assuming I’ll be numb when I wake up, but like, I’m so nervous about what it’s going to be like when I inevitably have to touch down there. I hate my dick sooooooo much, but, like, I lived with it for 30 years, so I at least knew what to expect with it.

But, like, holy shit what will the sensation be like? I know it’ll be angry and swollen and probably discharging ooze and goosh, but outside of it being ugly, like, if I woke up with a perfectly 100% functional vagina that’s already healed, I’d still be scared to touch down there.

And I hate that I have no one to talk about this to. I have friends and family that are supportive of me in my life, but they’re all cis and not a single person can even begin to understand the pounding in my chest I feel when I think about what it’s going to be like confronting the fact that I went through a surgical procedure that turned my penis onto a vagina. Like, what, it’s a slit now and it’s all wet and stuff? What will it feel like never being physically capable of having an erection ever again? I mean, I can even flex the muscles on my dick without it being hard, but, what, I just can’t even do that now?

I’m so sorry for how many questions and how weird it is, but I’m so nervous and I feel so much more alone than ever despite the love I have in my life. I feel like this unicorn that’s jumping off a cliff into a dark void of the unknown. I don’t know what’s going to be ahead of me, and there’s not going to be anyone next to me holding my hand telling me “Hey, I’ve jumped in this pit before and I know what’s on the other side and it’s not as scary as you think.” It’ll just be me, all by myself, finding out what’s beyond this dark void.

If someone could make me feel better I’d appreciate it. In some ways, I feel like this’ll be easy as fuck compared to having done FFS and my BA together in one sitting, but, also, the unknown makes me want to break down and cry.


r/MtF • • 22h ago

Venting God I HATE the transphobia in medical field😭😭😭😭😭

831 Upvotes

I'm so sick of it... I called a sperm preservation clinic asking for an appointment. The secretary asked for a reason. I told her that I'm a trans woman and wanted to preserve sperm before the surgery.

Her reply (verbatim) : "Ahhhh, I see. No, we can't accept you for this reason".

Me: "Why not?"

Her: "Because we don't accept patients that preserve the gametes [idk what it is in English you get it] for the transition reasons. It is not a discrimination Sir, we just aren't specialized in transition related reasons"

Me: "Wait, what are the reasons you accept patients for?"

Her: "Well, patients with cancer for example. I'm really sorry Sir, we can't help you. Go to the university hospital [with insane delays] they can help".

Me: "So I can't even get a spermogram in your centre? Is that correct?"

Her: "Again Sir, I'm telling you, we aren't specialized in transgender sperm preservation. Go to the University hospital, the can help you. Have a nice day Sir".

... God I fucking HATE that bitch😭😭😭

Fuck Paris. Fuck everyone. Literally Paris is the most bigoted city in France (out of all cities I've lived in Paris is somehow one of the most transphobic ones. What the fuck???)... I don't get it... When did it all go downhill? Every. Fucking. Time.

God fucking DAMN it😭😭😭😭😭


r/MtF • • 15h ago

Trigger Warning There are transphobic tiktokers lurking around this sub btw

192 Upvotes

Came across few transphobic TERF channels on TikTok. They look like they don’t have much going for them in real life. Where I get annoyed is the fact that they are spending their time lurking around a community they don’t even belong 24/7 and making videos about us & mocking us. Honestly is creepy and loser-like to me.


r/MtF • • 1h ago

Good News After years of denial, i can finally say it:

14 Upvotes

I’m trans. And there’s nothing i can do about it.


r/MtF • • 18h ago

Dysphoria Transphobes need to understand that gender dysphoria is not a minor itch but an unbearable agony

215 Upvotes

r/MtF • • 17h ago

Advice Question Well I think it's time to drop the bomb...

167 Upvotes

As I have said over the last couple of days I am a closeted trans

Only 2 people in my life know. My best friend and my mom.

Well my wife saw my FB reels and saw that there was a whole bunch of trans themed ones and now is convinced I am some kind of pervert and am cheating on her. And has now asked me to move out.

I feel at this time I really have no choice but to come clean and just tell her. I know she will call me every name in the book but when it's all over I have a clear path to finally just embrace me the way I want to be.

This is so overwhelming as just a week ago this seemed like a unreachable fantasy but with some bravery on my part and my home life the way it is. I feel it just may be that time to pull the pin the grenade of my current life.

Any support or advice would be lovely.


r/MtF • • 22h ago

Discussion Why does there seem to be more lesbians than straight girls in the trans community?

373 Upvotes

As the title suggests, i’m really curious on why i mostly see trans lesbians online compared to straight trans girls, is it just that trans lesbians post more or is this an actual thing like is it more common to be lesbian if youre a trans girl? sorry if this is a weird question, as a straight trans girl i just feel like i barely see any others online

Edit: just saw that someone posted this exact question a few days ago 🤦‍♀️ i’ll go read those comments 😭


r/MtF • • 8h ago

Today I Learned A foolproof way to eliminate hub loss when doing Injections, for any syringe. Make your vials last longer with no guesswork, without having to watch the needle! :3

21 Upvotes

I apologize if this is common knowledge but i just figured this out and have to share for any girlies out there who are concerned about losing doses due to hub loss (the lil bit that stays in the hub of the syringe. Can be 10% of a dose!!). This applies to syringes that dont have necked plungers (mine have flat plungers) as necked plungers address hub loss by including a necked portion at the end of the plunger to do the same thing we're doing with air.

Bolded the math terms for make easier to read

Thanks to the Magic of Fluid Dynamics, you can actually use a lil bit of air in the syringe to push on the oil. I just discovered what i believe is a foolproof way to measure that air bubble so you can just push the plunger down without having to watch to see when youre about to inject air! (injecting air is nbd tbh they inject air into you for laproscopic surgery, your body dissolves it over time, but like, ya know..)

Syringes with screw-on tips may need this measurement each time unless you can fully crank the tips on all the way consistently each time. Otherwise if the syringe is unibody or youre really good at screwing it in every time you can skip measurment and go right to the Adjusted Dose + Pusher Air steps

EDIT/NOTE: I havent figured out how to articulate a foolproof way to do this if you need to change your needle tip out between draws. Drawing on 25g was fucky but i was able to do it with Valerate in sesame oil. Less fucky than having to guess/watch air for hub loss though.

  • Draw your dose as normal, to your usual dose line.
  • Withdraw the needle from the oil and turn it vertically so the needle points up
  • Draw in air until the top of the oil in the syringe is at end of the plunger space, where the plunger would normally stop. The Hub above that spot should now contain air
  • Look at dose reading, note the difference between your intended dose (ex:0.4ml) and the current reading (Ex: 0.435mL because my hubs lose 0.035ml per shot if i dont do this method. almost 10% of my prescription. waow.) This difference is your Hub Loss Measurement. This is how much fluid would be held captive in the hub if you dont do this.
  • Subtract the Hub Loss Measurement (Ex. 0.035) from your Dose (0.4), to get your Adjusted Dose. For me this is 0.365mL
  • Insert the syringe into the vial, with needle up, and push both the air and the oil back out into the vial until you reach that Adjusted Dose (0.365, youre pushing the same amount of oil out as the air you drew in. The reason for pushing air out in this stage is for consistency since its possible to over-draw while measuring).
  • Remove the syringe from the vial and draw back on the plunger (needle up)until you reach your dose again (0.4mL). Youll notice a bubble forms in the top of the syringe. Then turn the syringe around again, needle down, and tap the syringe until the air bubble floats to the top.
  • The volume of the air bubble inside is now the same amount of air needed to push in all of your dose without having to watch the air bubble/guess when to stop. My 25g needles will automatically "prime" the syringe by capillary action when pointed down, since the air bubble can "expand" a bit due to the effect of gravity and fluid dynamics. Basically you dont need to prime the needle, it will prime itself.
  • Inject as normal. The air will push out all the Zestrogen with minimal amounts remaining in the needle/hub, without putting air under your skin, without having to watch :3

Getting a little air in is totally fine, they inject air into patients doing laproscopic surgery and the body just dissolves it out over time. But the last thing I wanna do is watch for the air bubble when im stabbing myself when i already hate needles.


r/MtF • • 13h ago

Advice Question The weight gain on HRT thing is so confusinggg

61 Upvotes

I've seen so many different takes on this and I don't know what to believe anymore, I need clarifications

Apparently weight cycling doesn't work (right???) but like.. If I'm already skinny and start hormones, and wait like a month, and then start gaining weight.. Will that fat be stored in feminine places or not??

The whole "it takes 10 years for fat cells to die" thing that people talk about always leaves me wondering, I don't get it, everybody says something different


r/MtF • • 12h ago

Relationships I can't see myself ever getting with a woman again...

50 Upvotes

So, not long ago i broke up with my first actual boyfriend. I decided to end it for various reasons.... so, ive decided to hold off on dating for awhile. To work on myself and to get myself passing a bit better with more time on Estrogen.... also, to stay off Grindr...

I've always dated woman. Used to be in the closet and would pick up guys on the side whenever i was single(told no one) so i always assumed i was Bi...

After my last relationship... despite it not going as well as id hoped, i honestly cant see myself ever being with a woman again.. like, i just cant imagine it... its like i have this weird fantasy of me just being a tough wife to some handsome, rugged guy. Any time i think of a woman as my partner, my mind instantly goes "nope"...

a big house, a lot of dogs, kids and a man that loves me... i never thought that'd be something i realized i wanted on this journey.


r/MtF • • 19h ago

Relationships The last piece finally fell away..

148 Upvotes

I (29 mtf)sent my best friend of like 23years a picture of my overtly modest outfit that I was wearing before I went out for a day with some new friends I had made. He has been supportive in the past, but apparently it was just skin deep, because he messaged me the next morning asking me to not send him pictures of me anymore... It was normal for us to send pics once in a blue moon since we live far away from each other now.

It's been true in all cases(for me) that when someone rejects me for who I am, another amazingly rock solid awesome person fills their shoes Quickly.

But fuck this one hurts the most.. I was closer to him than I was my own brother, and I was very very close with my brother before transition too.. this hurts more.

He won't explain anything other than "he hasn't sent me a picture of himself in a long while so he doesn't need to be getting them from me". And wouldn't conversate, just kept saying that if I wanna call he's not gonna be upset or mad... MAD ABOUT FUCKING WHATTTTTTTT, speak to me for fucks sake.

I told him this was unacceptable and that I was hurt deeply by this. And that he will have to fix this in a genuine way if I'm ever gonna speak with him again.

And because I will always respect someone's rule/boundary, he's not gonna get a fucking thing from me ever again. And then I changed my profile pic to me jn metallic booty shorts, fishnets and a micro bikini that only counts as nipple covers 🤣🤣🤣 idk if I even want him to come around and fix the relationship anymore... He was the last piece of my past that needed to go I think. There are literally 0 people I used to know who still want to know me, Other than coworkers but that is not the same.. I'm so emotionally exhausted my brain feels dry. It does cheer me up a lil bit to know that straight transphobic guys are getting panicky horny when they see me now, the hormones are DEFINITELY working 🤣🤣😭❤️❤️❤️ -Espe


r/MtF • • 14h ago

Bad News A mile from where i grew up, a gay man met a guy off grinder. He almost died

53 Upvotes

This is surreal. I have walked those fucking park streets hundreds of times. I lived right next to it growing up. Hell my first kiss WAS IN THE PARK. I no longer live there, but I am in shock. When people state "What rights have you lost" THIS. THIS IS WHAT WE MEAN. We have no where safe to go to. This guy went on grindr to fuck a guy, and was met with a ambush of four men who nearly killed him.

https://www.ksdk.com/article/news/crime/i-hate-gay-people-ellisville-man-charged-in-group-attack-on-victim-lured-through-dating-app/63-956704f2-ab5e-440c-a29a-77d94475d474

I dont even know what to do anymore, it genuinely feels like no place is safe for us. If they almost killed a gay man, imagine what they would do if they found out a trans woman, someone who they didnt know was trans etc.

Just beyond appalled and scared for the future of my community

I have also, literally used grindr in this location before. Before I moved away for college, I would walk these path ways when i was coming out. I dressed fem here. I need to get my CCW because i dont feel safe anymore, anywhere


r/MtF • • 5h ago

Relationships i feel like nobody wants me

8 Upvotes

i just feel unlovable and unsexy. i feel fetishized and lusted after. but i don't feel beautiful and lovable. i just want to feel that. i don't know if i ever will.


r/MtF • • 21h ago

Dysphoria How do you deal with knowing your hip bones won't grow?

142 Upvotes

Hi, I am a trans woman. I started HRT at 19 years old. I used to hear that if you started HRT before age 25 your hip bones would grow, but sadly that isn't likely. Most people who experience changes in bone structure due to HRT didn't go through male puberty (or started much earlier).

​I know this might sound silly, but for some reason, it makes me feel really bad. Maybe not as bad as knowing I'll never have a uterus or get pregnant, but it still hurts.

​How do you handle dealing with this?


r/MtF • • 12h ago

Euphoria Went outside in shorts with shaved legs for the first time today.

29 Upvotes

As I said, I went outside in shorts for the first time since starting to shave my legs and the world didn’t explode!! Went to coffee, went to all my classes, didn’t feel an ounce of shame.

I’ve been so scared about expressing myself in any way that could be seen as feminine for so long but maybe, just maybe, the majority of people just don’t care? Very shocking to my anxiety riddled brain.

Still not out to anybody yet, but maybe it’s time to take some extra steps towards fem expression? Now how to go about that?