Before my miscarriage, I saw pregnancy as something joyful and exciting.

Now it feels completely different.

Instead of excitement, the first emotion that comes to my mind is fear.

Fear of loss.

Fear of something going wrong again.

I know that many women have healthy pregnancies after miscarriage, but emotionally it's hard to switch my mindset back to hope.

I'm wondering if anyone else felt this shift in perspective after experiencing a loss.

Did your mindset eventually change again?

TW: Blood, tissue

Weve been trying for 11 years, 7 IVF transfer, 5 miscarriages.

The last 3 transfers have been consecutive miscarriages, 2 after seeing a heartbeat.

We literally just saw the heartbeat on Tuesday at 6w3d, all was good, fetal pole measuring well and strong heartbeat. Out of nowhere, I just started bleeding this morning, no spotting, no warning, just a bit of pressure then blood pouring out. I called our clinic, started to get ready to go to a&e (I haemorrhaged during the 3rd miscarriage and this was seeming similar felt like I needed to go asap) and suddenly passed tissue the size of my hand. The bleeding pretty much stopped instantly.

Start to finish I miscarried in 25 minutes.

I still have to stay of the treatment as the clinic wont scan me again for a week and a half, so I get to feel pregnant, behave pregnant for another 12 days before finally getting confirmation. The saving grace is I am FINALLY getting this pregnancy genetically tested (despite being told previously its not something they do), although it feels a little too late now.

That was our last embryo. Our 11 year journey ended out of the blue this morning. I never thought we would end up childless. My heart breaks for my husband, he would be the most amazing Dad 💔

lost my my baby last week at 19 weeks, just a day before hitting 20 weeks and our anatomy scan.

*TW* *TMI*

I had slimy discharge for some days, everyone and the Internet said it was normal as the mucus plug regenerates itself. I took a bath, went to the toilet at had some slimy bloody discharge but it went away so I went to bed, then I sneezed once and felt fine, then I had to sneeze again and my water broke. I felt a foot and called the hospital and they sent an ambulance. Felt like forever before they came, In reality it was 30 minutes. The doctor tried to get him out but decided to give me pills to dialate. A few hours later he came out, no pain or anything. We got to see him. I can't help to blame myself for losing him. We're reeling from the grief. He was our little miracle after years of infertility and ivf. I don't know how I'll ever be okay, but we try to hold on to something although our hope died with him, we still want children and we are going in for another round of ivf.

I can't help to grasp for a speck of hope, so I must ask you when did your cycle return and when were you able to get pregnant again?

Tuesday night I went in for spotting and an overwhelming sense of dread at 5w3d pregnant. My HCG had been dropping for a few days so I already knew what was happening. I started bleeding heavy on Thursday and finally passed what I believe was the sac last night. No one seems to quite understand WHY I’m not running around doing cartwheels since it’s been quite a few days already. So many friends I’ve talked to that seem to think a miscarriage is “just a heavy period”. I feel disgusting. I’m bloody, my stomach hurts, my head is pounding and I just need a breather. I do feel quite a bit of relief now after passing the tissue or whatever it was. Bleeding has slowed down and now I just feel exhausted. This wasn’t a quick and painless process. It wasn’t one gush of blood and now I’m magically healed. Tomorrow will be better. Just needed to rant.

I am beyond angry. It was never me. I went to the ER due to severe one sided pain and ectopic scare just to find this out on top of my miscarriage. I am in disbelief but I should have known. I need to know if i have PID after having it since at least October. I have yet to test for HPV HSV and HIV. He killed my babies. I am in shock. Please give me advice or tell me what to do to advocate for myself.

EDIT- im not even sure if i am miscarrying anymore because my levels came back CRAZY high. I was at the ER all night and they tested my hcg at 10:42pm. Cane back at 549. Tested again 6:40am, they came back at 635. Not sure if it’s a miracle or if my body is just confused :(

Is it bad that I want to start bleeding and passing it already? I’m tired of knowing it’s gonna happen, still having my pregnancy symptoms, and now hoping for blood when I check for discharge. It’s going to cause me so much pain, just happen already. I’m going to be on the floor in pain, I’m fucking scared.
EDIT- sorry if I somehow offended the down voters, but obviously you’re not understanding my situation, and I hope that you never do. It’s traumatic and breaks my heart to think I get pregnant just to harm the embryo later on because I can’t develop a healthy pregnancy right now. I would never wanna speed up the process of a miscarriage if I didn’t know for sure that I was losing the baby.

Here we go. I am still in the swing of things right now, but four weeks ago I was measuring 9 weeks and the ultrasound discovered no heart beat. I scheduled a DNC for the following week and they quoted me over $5,000 (after insurance - thanks United!) so I made the decision to just wait it out and do it naturally. Well that $5,000 has now turned into probably over $20,000 in hospital bills. Three weeks later, I began to cramp and have contractions after four days of rust brown spotting. Two hours later I began to bleed heavily. I was soaking through 6 pads and hour for 3 hours and started to feel dizzy so my mother took me to the ER. I was there for a few hours and they did some manual extractions of fluid and clots just via the speculum and did a transvaginal ultrasound and said it appeared I passed most of it so I could go home and to expect heavy period like bleeding going forward. Not the case. The next day at about 12:30 PM I lost over 2 liters of blood in 15 minutes. I fainted (was in public) and woke up in the hospital. I continued losing a profuse amount of blood for the next 8 hours. Every hour my Hemoglobin was dropping by a point or more. I was then considered close to potential organ failure and required a blood transfusion. I was also demonstrating a high heart rate and got an EKG as cardiac arrest was possible. Fast forward to the next day I was released to immediately be taking blood stopping/clotting medication every six hours and am supposed to be getting bloodwork at my OB office daily. It can take weeks to months to get my blood counts back to normal as I am now in severe anemia. I never knew any of this was possible with a miscarriage. NO ONE Talks about THIS happening, or its POTENTIAL to happen. I still don’t know what the future looks like for me and my desire to have a family. But all I know is I’m still alive to tell the tale. This conversation needs to be had more. Most women don’t know that this can happen.

Please don’t let this scare you, but I found myself entirely out of my depth expecting this process to be like a “heavy period” as shared by every medical professional who spoke with me yesterday. I don’t know if a natural “wait and see” route would’ve been easier, but this is my experience with a medication assisted termination after miscarriage.

Found out yesterday morning at 9 weeks baby has no heartbeat. Started the process of a medical termination because I couldn’t handle still feeling pregnant knowing it was going to end sooner rather than later. Took the first pill yesterday morning with my OB, dissolved the 4 pills in my cheek for 30 minutes this morning at 7:30. By 8:15 I was in a lot of crampy pain, more severe than my worst period. It lasted about 25 minutes and then went into a lull where I was able to rest on the couch with medium discomfort. By around 10:15am I began bleeding and I was experiencing what I would consider the worst pain of my life. Severe, sharp cramping in my uterus and my back, unlike any period I’ve experienced. I can only describe this as something like an unmedicated labor. There was no physical relief for around one hour. Movement didn’t help, sitting still didn’t help. The pain was sharp, intense, and burning. I vomited multiple times, broke into a cold sweat, and was shaking uncontrollably, feeling like I was going to pass out. The only thing I can say if you’re experiencing something like this, bearing down on the toilet like you’re “pushing” was the only thing to even touch the discomfort. During this time, I was quite literally groaning and screaming in agony. My poor husband shared that it was like an exorcism. After about an hour, it was down to more of a “bad period” type of pain and I was able to rest on the couch. When I woke up, my baby and multiple clots passed at 12:30 and the symptoms nearly immediately went away. It’s 3:30 now, and I’m experiencing only moderate, intermittent cramping, but continuing to pass some tissue.

This was the worst experience of my life, and I’m absolutely devastated and I hate to say it, but traumatized. I knew this wouldn’t be easy, and that every body is different, but the multiple reassurances of “bad period” was such an understatement.

I took my dose of misoprostol Friday night 8:45. Cramps and bleeding started around 11:45pm/12am, became increasingly more intense. The pain and bleeding with clots lasted all day Saturday. Sunday, woke up in what felt like MORE pain it lasted a majority of the day but bleeding/clots were minimal. I did feel like there was something that needed to be pushed out but couldnt manage for that to happen. Sunday late afternoon I started to feel a bit of relief, still not much bleeding. This morning (Monday) woke up at 5, went to the bathroom, felt the urge to push and then a lime sized ball of tissue came out… is it normal for it to take that long for it to come out?

I can’t even trust what my dr said. “Just a heavier period” my a**!!!!!! That felt more like being in labour for 2 damn days. They told me it would just be a lot of clots but unless they’re bigger than my fist it’s fine. That was very obviously the sac, etc.
how freaking traumatizing 😭

I started clotting two days ago, when into the hospital yesterday to learn my baby had no heart beat. I was 17 weeks pregnant but my baby had stoped growing at 14 weeks. Doc said the pill medicine would be a good option, but they want me in the hospital when I take it because it’s a far along miscarriage could be a lot of bleeding.

I scheduled a D&C for Monday instead because I have other kids at home I had to figure out care for. I wasn’t bleeding severely so doctor said that’s fine. I woke up this morning with a lot of blood. Husband put me on the toilet and said he would be back after making breakfast for the kids. I FaceTime my sister to just talk while this is happening.

I feel what I think is a huge clot come out. I’m sitting there contracting and I look down just a little and see a string. I tell my sister “something’s stuck” so I look harder.

There’s the baby. In my toilet. Just, there.

The placenta got stuck. Had to get EMS and an ambulance ride, got the D&C emergency surgery at the hospital. Now I’m back home. And all I can see in my brain is my toilet, the baby.

How do you even cope with this.

The last few days have felt like a fever dream.

On Friday, we attended our dating scan. I was meant to be 8 weeks pregnant. We were so excited for the life that lay ahead of us. We saw the heartbeat, and we were told everything was tracking well. They celebrated with us, congratulating us not only on the baby’s progress but also on our wedding the following day.

On Saturday morning, I woke up with brown spotting. I was told it was old blood and that it could happen after an intrauterine scan. So we carried on with our wedding day.

It was perfect.

We were on such a high. At the end of the night, we got back to our hotel suite giggling that we’d managed to keep our little secret. We were newly married, dreaming about everything that was still to come, so excited for the next chapter of our lives.

Then Sunday came.

The brown spotting had turned red, and it was more than just spotting. I had light cramps, but I also knew my pain tolerance has always been high, and my period cramps have often been worse than what I was feeling. We went to the hospital.

After waiting eight hours, we were told that bleeding can happen in early pregnancy. It could be the start of a miscarriage, or it could be nothing at all. Some people bleed and go on to have completely healthy pregnancies. I was told to follow up with my OB on Monday unless I was soaking one or two pads every hour and pain wasn’t manageable.

The spotting continued. The cramps stayed much the same.

On Monday morning, I spoke to my OB. They had already received the scan results from Friday and report from the hospital visit. They congratulated us on our wedding, acknowledged what had happened on Sunday, advised me to be cautious, but ultimately cleared me to travel.

So that evening, we boarded our honeymoon flight.

Nine hours.

The spotting continued. The cramps continued. I managed to sleep for about six hours and woke with more discomfort, but I blamed it on the flight. Air travel, I told myself. Everything would be okay.

Hours later, we landed in another country, checked into our hotel, and the cramps intensified. They still weren’t anything I hadn’t experienced before. The pain wasn’t exactly excruciating but this time, there was something different.

Somewhere deep down, I think I already knew.

Then, before I could process what was happening, I felt it.

Something passed.

I ran to the bathroom.

I still don’t know how, but it landed in the palm of my hand.

I saw the sac. I could see through it, and inside was the tiny fetal pole-the exact little 11 mm shape I had stared at only days earlier on a black-and-white ultrasound screen.

Except this time, it wasn’t on a monitor.

It was in my hand.

I panicked. My husband came in. He gently took it from me and kept telling me that I was going to be okay. We wept.

I don’t understand.

They told me that unless the blood was pouring out or the pain became excruciating, it could still be a healthy pregnancy. I had neither.

But it still happened.

I held our baby.

I saw our baby.

And now I don’t know what I’m doing on this trip.

No one knew.

People are still reaching out congratulating us on a beautiful wedding.

How am I supposed to go back to our usual lives in a couple of weeks pretending like I didn’t have my heart completely shattered during this trip. So I guess I’m here. Because apart from bawling my eyes out with my husband, I don’t have anyone else to talk to about this.

My body & mind are heartbrokenly exhausted. I had a natural miscarriage on September 21 and when I went to the ER that night, they told me I had passed the sac and was "empty" I ended up bleeding up until this past Friday October 16th though! No one initially was taking it seriously though.

I finally was able to get into a new OBGYN last week who confirmed via transvaginal ultrasound & testing that I did in fact pass everything & that some women just have bleeding for weeks. She said my cervix was still open at that point too so I'm praying it's finally closed since the bleeding stopped.

I sent her a mychart message because I know every woman is different but for those who had natural miscarriages without any intervention, how long before you ovulated & or got your period again?

I have been having pelvic pain and since my bleeding stopped Friday, I can't help but wonder if this could be ovulation pain about to start. I know I need to get one last HCG test but I'm so mentally drained from my blood drawls =(

I've been bleeding so long that I think Im gonna cry the moment my period actually DOES start again ='(

I have not see it but apparently there is a graphic baby loss in the new movie, Wuthering Heights. I saw the warning on another sub that I couldn’t post here due to the subreddit content, but I would steer clear based on the description.

I passed my baby today. Was told by my OB I was having a missed miscarriage two weeks ago and would start bleeding soon. My husband and I were also told not to be as sad because “there’s no baby, just the nest.” I was told at 10w that the sack was only the size of one that’s 6w3d. Started bleeding last night, wasn’t too crazy. Felt like my normal day one period. While in the shower today, I was rinsing my legs and the baby fell between my feet. It’s so frustrating being told not to expect anything yet seeing the baby fit perfectly in my palm. Baby had a face, eyes were closed, little lips and the tiniest ears. Baby was supposed to be our first. We want to bury him/her but we’re not sure how to or if there’s a specific way of doing so. I feel ashamed for even asking but we’re not sure what to do.

I was 14 weeks and 1 day on Sunday and I lost my baby. At home in my bathroom. In an instant he just fell out of me onto the floor. And then the bleeding started. Ambulance took me to the hospital and eventually I had a D&C. I am just really struggling and feel so sad. I feel like it’s cruel to make it to the second trimester. I had two ultrasounds that looked perfect. NIPT results were perfect. Why does this happen? I know I’m not alone but I feel alone. Every single friend I have is pregnant right now. And I feel so guilty it just makes me so mad. They will all get their babies and I won’t. April will come and I won’t have my baby. I just feel so numb. And I don’t know how to stop feeling angry. I want to feel sad but I just have so much rage that this happened to me. I’m so sorry to everyone who’s experienced this pain.

It's been going on for two days now. The excruciating cramps with some bleeding and passing things here and there. It's so fucking traumatic. I wanted a D&C but my doctor told me I can't get it without 2 ultrasounds weeks apart showing no growth (even though we knew with certainty it was over at the last ultrasound) I live in Texas and it's only because of laws here so fuck this shit so much.

An update: When I finally went for my 2nd ultrasound, they told me I was in luck, I had passed most of the pregnancy tissue! (While I'm bleeding out on the table) Honestly I wasn't sure considering I was on the toilet gushing blood passing chunks about 30 minutes before my appointment. The doctor said she'd prescribe me some more hardcore pain meds and I really wish I would have had that for the 5 days of misery before my appointment (that was not presented as an option for me last week). This shit SUCKS. Even though my husband and I want a baby I'm terrified to try again because this was pretty traumatic.

I had a MMC at 6 weeks and found out at 8 weeks and 5 days. That was over two weeks ago on September 16th. I thought I passed the pregnancy since then but had my follow up on Thursday and they let me know I still had the baby inside as well as the gestational sack.

I started my first dose of miso around 4:30pm on Thursday and it said on the bottle if I didn’t have significant cramping or bleeding to take another in 8-12 hours. At 3am I took the second dose (these were both taken vaginally) and again, nothing. Around 9pm last night I started getting regular contractions. I’m having a contraction every couple of minutes that lasts for about 30 seconds. I’ve maintained this overnight and just woke up from a contraction at 3am but there’s no blood or tissue coming out 😢 I’m only spotting

This has been such an insane ride, I thought for sure that when I went to my follow up appt that I’d be cleared and told that I was pretty much done healing. When they told me the baby was still in there I lost it and had a panic attack inside the office. I didn’t want to have to take miso and I certainly didn’t want a D&C. I guess I’ve got to do both. It’s just so unfair even having to go through this to begin with. 😞

Finding out 2wk later that this is still going on has pretty much undone any of the emotional work I’ve done over the last couple of weeks to heal from this situation.

I guess I’ll be scheduling my D&C on Monday 😞

it was supposed to be 9 weeks 2 days today, but the latest ultrasound showed it stopped growing at 6 weeks 6 days. Yesterday when the bleeding started we spent an entire day at the emergency department, in the waiting room pretty much. Today she's been having the worst pain ever, and I cannot just bear with it. I wish God took all the pain from her and gave me instead, even if it is 10x of her pain.

Currently experiencing my first miscarriage. I had some mild brown spotting for about a week that would come and go. It was never enough to need to wear a pad so my midwife was not especially concerned. I was still suffering from fairly constant nausea, food aversions, and other pregnancy symptoms. Then 2 days ago the spotting turned bright red, still a very small amount and no pain or cramping. Midwife arranged an ultrasound for the following day with the instructions to page her/go to the ER if the bleeding or cramping escalated.

So I went in for the ultrasound yesterday. As soon as the tech started scanning, I knew. She was very quiet, never shared the screen, and after a few minutes said she was going to get the doctor. She came back and said that the radiologist was busy, but suggested I follow up with my primary care provider and that we were all done with the appointment.

So I walked out with no explicit confirmation of miscarriage, but I didn't need it. I have been pregnant once before with my now 18 month old (fortunately carried to term with GD so had many many scans) and I knew nothing about that appointment pointed to good news. My husband took the rest of the day off work and came home with me. We laid in bed and I cried. My midwife called me shortly after and officially broke the news to me. Missed Miscarriage. I should have been almost 11 weeks and baby stopped growing shortly after 6 weeks. Very much non-viable and I felt betrayed by my body that it had so clearly missed the mark. I had been carrying my dead baby for a month without knowing it. Midwife expressed her condolences and we had a really lovely conversation before she went over my options going forward. I had landed on the medication route. I felt like my body clearly wasn't getting the memo and I wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. Only problem was that the clinic that offers it was already closed for the day. Midwife advised that I take the evening and rest, and I could go to the clinic and start the process in the morning.

Well, as it turned out, I don't think I'll be needing the medication. After very mild cramping yesterday evening, I went to bed and woke up just after midnight. At first there was nothing remarkable. I got up, checked my pad and found barely a stain of blood. I replaced the pad with a fresh, ultra-absorbent, extra long one and went back to bed. After a few minutes I felt a snap and a gush. I jumped up out of bed and watched blood cover my legs and run down to my ankles. Trying to avoid making my bedroom look like a crime scene, I ran back to the bathroom and hopped on the toilet. I felt like Carrie. The pad was completely saturated and there was blood and tissue all over me. Large bits of tissue came out while I sat there. I started bawling. My husband came running, cleaned me up enough to shuffle to the shower, and cleaned the bathroom while I cleaned myself. I was too squeamish to examine the contents, but had an immediate feeling that I was no longer carrying my baby.

I continued to pass blood and tissue through the night and into this morning. The bleeding has slowed to a normal period amount and the cramping isn't bad. Trying to decide if I can/will go to work on Monday. I'm sad and feel like I can't trust my body, but I'm so grateful for the support of my midwife, and more importantly my husband. We will try again when I feel ready and I hope to someday meet my rainbow baby🌈

Hello, I believe I am having my first period post miscarriage. Extremely heavy and large clots, toilet bowl has remained red. Had some severe pain and I took Motrin. The doctor said that unfortunately the first one can be gnarly. Has anyone else experienced this? On Sept 12th my hcg was 122 so really the timeline would make sense

I don really feel like going into much detail but i’m currently having my first miscarriage, went to the ER to confirm and now im sitting in the bathtub because it’s the only thing somewhat helping the cramps but I cry everytime I pass a clot knowing whats happening to what could have been my baby, I know it sounds gross and crazy but I can’t bring myself to let the clots down the drain

Just went through the worst miscarriage I've ever had.

First loss was ectopic (May 2024), passed naturally with what I thought at the time was a fair amount of pain. Second loss was 5w, minimal pain (Feb 2026). And then today's... God bloody damn. We were only 6w, I didn't expect so much pain.

Cramps, shaking, throwing up... We called the ambulance. Just never felt anything like it. I'm so sad and feel so alone. I feel like we will never have our baby.

Was 9 weeks but baby measured 5w5d. Woke up on 12/30 and passed a small clot. Within minutes I had passed a much larger one.

Went to the ER and more and more came out until after we were sent home and I passed what I thought was the baby.

Three days later at the OB they found the fetal pole was still inside me. She said it could probably pass on its own.

I’m wondering if anyone went through this after your body tried to miscarry? Will the bleeding and cramps come back when my body recognizes it’s still in there.

Edit: I should say at the ER the baby was sitting higher in my uterus and at the last appointment they saw it had moved down and is now on my cervix. Doctor sent me home and said it’s so small it should hopefully pass on its own. Also don’t mean to call my baby “it” - it’s just too hard knowing they are still in there to humanize it right now 😞❤️‍🩹 I am mourning his or her loss every day but knowing there’s more still to be done is daunting and frustrating

Hear me out, I want to start off by saying in NO way am I falsely claiming working out causes MC.

So before I confirmed I was having a MC I had already been deep in research and threads of all sorts. Just collecting information for my own peace of mind. Learning what to look for and just reading other people’s experiences and while everyone has a different experience I had noticed a pattern:

Many of the women I found who worked out and then experienced back pain or cramping before finding out they were having a MC.

I pondered about this relentlessly after I realized I too worked out the Sunday before I started to experience mild back pain.

(This is the part where I start venting about my MC but I will finish with my point at the end)

-I’m fairly active. I was going to the gym 3-5 times a week. A month before I found out I was pregnant I had took a break from working out (due to stress, unrelated to pregnancy) -

My workout that Sunday was extremely light. I did a 30 min incline walk. Lots of stretching. I walk at least 30 mins everyday.

My back pain seemed to stay the same up until Friday night it started getting stronger. (I hadn’t even considered how that afternoon I did a few light workout. Some squats and standing core workouts aside from my walk.) I thought I strained it a little from carrying something for a while that day but then Saturday morning the pain was doubled.

When I finally got to the point where I was thinking “ok how much longer can I tolerate this pain before I go get checked out”
As if cruelly answering my question… I felt spotting.
Immediately went to the restroom & sure enough.
Went to urgent care.. while waiting the pain was tenfold at this point. It felt like breathing hurt.
I got UA, Bloodtest & US done.
Drs Conclusion: we don’t know.

Went to bed around 12. Woke up around 4:30 and spotting had picked up but back pain was gone. That’s when I started cramping…That was also the first time I noticed tissue. At this point I had accepted what was happening… I lost hope when I checked my HCG results. (Around 1,300 HCG levels at 7.6… super low) Went back to sleep after a few hours of crying, reading, tossing and turning.
Woke up again to more than a little spotting but my cramping had gone down. Passed a few clots but when I stood up to look… I felt tissue coming out so I put my hand under myself and caught the tissue.

Next day I passed another tissue and collected it to turn into the Drs for genetic testing. (Which I found out was an option by reading many many many women’s experiences- wasn’t offered by my Dr I had to ask them)

Still a few weeks out until I find out the results…

So my theory is this:
Working out is supposed to be good/healthy for you. Gets your blood pumping. Your blood circulating. You sweat out toxins and all that right??
Well what if that triggered my body and that’s why the pain started - because my body identified something not so healthy was going on inside of me.
Obviously this is not a FACT this is just a theory of why so many women I seen worried their workout “caused” this.

Has anyone else ever thought about this? Or experienced something similar? Idk it’s helped me to talk about this… as traumatic as it feels sometimes.

I had a MMC a month ago today. I was technically 13 weeks pregnant but baby stopped growing at 8w1d. I had a d&c due to it had already been some time baby was inside me to prevent sepsis. I bled the entire 2 weeks up until my post op appointment. Did an ultrasound and showed retained tissue, opted to try miso that was extremely brutal and painful that was unsuccessful so had a repeat d&c 8 days ago and bleeding wore off for 3 days but has been back now and still passing clots. I’m concerned I still have tissue left and my pregnancy tests are still reading positive but with a faint line. My appointment isn’t until next Wednesday to get another ultrasound and I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this and what the outcome was? For context this was a partial molar pregnancy so I have to get hcg draws for the foreseeable future.