34F- Wow, I can’t believe I’m here again. My first pregnancy ended in a MMC at 11 weeks. Baby stopped growing right after my 7week scan. We even saw a heartbeat! I had a D&C 7/28 and my period returned 8/24. Then on 9/17 I took a pregnancy test and saw two lines.

Today I would be 5W + 3. This morning I clocked into work. Stretched and yawned and felt a gush. I thought maybe a little pee? When I reached down I saw a tinge of red. I went to the bathroom and there is was bright red blood. I was really starting to pull myself out of this depression but I am so lost.

The bleeding has slowed down but I think I know deep down this is the end. I don’t even see a point going in for blood work.

I saw a beautiful black and yellow swallowtail butterfly and stupidly thought it was my first baby or a good omen. The. I saw a rainbow the next day. This is the cruelest thing I’ve ever experienced.

I have always wanted to be a mommy. But I think it’s time to start talking about what life might look like without children.

Edit: I got bloodwork done and my HCG is 15470 at 5W+4. I don’t know what to think. My last pregnancy had out of range HCG too and ended. Do we think this is bad luck and both might be chromosomal??

**UPDATE- My HCG went from 15470 to 24550. I had my first ultrasound today at 7 weeks + 1 day. Baby was there with a heartbeat 149. Doctor thinks maybe a very small hematoma or a blood vessel from the placenta caused the bleeding.

How long is too long off?

I returned to work last week after 5 weeks off but ended up quite upset and anxious and sent home.

I’m wondering if I took another week and returned next week after 7 is just too long?

I’ve had 5 miscarriages, this one ending in a d&c which is the first I’ve had.

I’m having to return to an environment where everyone knows I’ve been pregnant multiple times so will know I’ve had another loss. (This is due to my job not choice of telling people)

The last 3 times I’ve been pregnant at the same time as other girls in the same trimester/weeks and their pregnancy’s have continued which is obviously amazing and I wouldn’t wish for them not too but it’s also so hard returning working with them knowing I should be where they are. One is due to have a baby, another late in the second trimester and recently one around 14 weeks ☹️

I just feel dread and emotion going back. I know I have to at some point but after last weeks breakdown I realise how it has affected me mentally.

Do I ask for another week off or is this just too much?

I just need a place to vent. In May, I found out I was pregnant. I miscarried at 8 weeks, after a week of spotting and an inconclusive US at 7 weeks. Surprisingly, I got pregnant again in August in our first attempt at TTC. Everything looked well, I had all the symptoms, my HCG was rising. Zero spotting.

Today I would have my first ultrasound at 8 weeks and 3 days and was feeling really confident, but when I woke up yesterday morning I thought I had peed myself. Only to discover I was lying in a puddle of blood. An ultrasound confirmed I was miscarrying again: the sac was already empty and you could see the blood flowing from my uterus.

I feel like I've done eveything right. Taken all the vitamins, barely having caffeine, watching what I eat, continuiing exercise. I am aware of my age, I am aware of risks that come with it. But it still sucks. Anyway, I'm having my blood checked next week, while also waiting to see if everything indeed clears naturally. And than we'll try again. I'm afraid of taking time off because of my age, but I also feel apprehensive of going through this again and the toll it takes on my body. Anyway. Just wanted to say that this sucks.

Hi all, today is a very dark day and I’m not sure how I will make it through, we just found out we lost our baby girl at 17 weeks . She was a rainbow baby as I had a previously unrelated loss at 10 Weeks previous to this. I have nothing left in me I am dead inside and I need support

My first miscarriage came as a shock, even though I had read all the books and knew all the stats. I had had a healthy pregnancy with no bleeding or symptoms to indicate otherwise. I was excited, starting to pick out names with my husband and deciding how we were going to tell everyone. I downloaded the apps that told you what size fruit your baby was and signed up for the June baby groups. And then there was the ultrasound, and that awful silence where there should be a heartbeat.

I thought that shock made it more painful. I tired to be so careful this time. We barely told anyone I was pregnant, and even amongst ourselves, my husband and I rarely talked about the future with this baby. It was like we pretended I just had a stomach flu for 10 weeks. No apps. I tried to not even track too closely how far along I was, but was just hoping time would speed up so I could get past that “safe” 12 week mark. It felt too scary and fragile to hang our hopes on. So we’d be more prepared for another loss.

And then, the exact same thing happened. The ultrasound, the silence.

It hurt just as much as the first time. It didn’t protect my heart in any way. If anything, I feel sad that this baby was never celebrated. I’m just as devastated and empty.

I don’t know why I’m posting this really. My heart is just broken, and I fooled myself into thinking I could outsmart the pain this time.

30F. Husband (29M) and I have been TTC for 2 years now. All 4 pregnancies that I've had have been MCs. None have made it past 9 weeks, with the last miscarriage happen right now at 4 weeks.

We've done all the testing that is currently provided to us in Canada with our fertility specialist. Hormone blood panels, advanced semen analysis, SIS, AFC, and general blood work. Everything has come back completely normal. We've tried one cycle of timed intercourse with an ovidrel shot, and we're being encouraged to try up to 5 more times before moving on to IUI and eventually IVF.

My problem is, they seem to be treating this as more of a difficulty getting pregnant situation, when this is more of a difficulty remaining pregnant situation. I feel like now that these tests have come back normal, it's just a "oh well, keep trying!" situation. The only other option we seem to have is seeing a Reproductive Immunology Specialist, of which we have a few in my province. Although we are trying to get a referral from my GP to switch fertility clinics to one that offers this testing, it will be thousands of dollars out of pocket with a long commute.

I am starting to lose hope. I desperately want to be a mother, but each loss has hit me like a freight train. I end up couch and bed bound for weeks, feeling like life is just passing me by while I'm stuck in a depressive hole, grieving these losses. It takes months for me to just build up the courage to TTC again after each one. I just don't know when the depression that follows each MC outweighs the desire to have a child.

So, for those who may have stopped trying.. how did you know when? I'm worried I'm going to end up destroying myself in these continued losses, should they keep happening.

Edited for Immunology spelling.

I gained a bit of weight in the first three months of pregnancy, then lost the baby at 12 weeks 5 days and now I'm just left with these extra kilos and no baby.

It really fucking sucks because I actually didn't care about the weight gain at all for the first time in my life (had some ED issues when I was younger) - because it meant that I was supporting a life inside me. Well, turns out, I didn't do a good enough job at that...

I'm not meaning to be vain, but I just hate my body right now. I know that if I only look at the situation objectively with no emotion, my body did what it was supposed to do when it recognised that this pregnancy was not viable for whatever reason (we don't know the reason yet, it's only been 9 days - the fetus was sent for post mortem 2 days ago and we're just waiting to hear results in a few weeks' time). But I can't help but feel like my body failed me somehow.

I'm finding this incredibly hard to go through. Not just the grief and disappointment, but the shock of hearing their heartbeat, knowing they were growing well and literally less than 24 hours after being reassured by doctors and nurses that all looks OK, miscarrying at home in terrible pain. I hate this so much. I try to keep myself somewhat sane, returned to work from home today, but it all just seems so pointless. I eat because I have to but get no joy from it. I keep telling myself it wasn't my fault, or anybody's for that matter, but I don't know if I believe it.

I'm so angry too. So, so angry.

No questions really just wanted to rant.

This fucking sucks. For context, I've now had 2 back to back miscarriages (first at 6 weeks end of last year) and I'm starting to feel hopeless. Today has been really hard.

After 3 first trimester miscarriages I'm so tired of hearing this. Yes, my husband and I are fertile and I get pregnant pretty easily, we know that many people struggle to even conceive in the first place and being an IVF baby myself (it took 4 years for my parents to have me), I know the pain it creates to be infertile.

But after 3 miscarriages, including two which destroyed me mentally and physically, I feel like we're never really taken seriously by anyone, including fertility doctors. Because we're are indeed fertile and conceive pretty easily, we're just told to continue as if we were robots. Last week we had an appointment at a fertility clinic and the doc almost made fun of us for worrying about our ability to keep a baby, then lectured us about people who "have it worse than us". My husband told her that I have bipolar and every new loss is a nail in my coffin, that I stopped working months ago after our first loss and that I almost ended in the psych ward because the pain had become unbearable. And you know what she told us? "Be happy, you're fertile".

A friend of mine who was 5 months pregnant told me the same thing because it took her one year to get pregnant in the first place. I told her that at least her baby was alive and mine was dead. She gave birth last week and I've had two more miscarriages since then.

I'm so tired of being forced to play the pain Olympics with people who are struggling differently than us. I sincerely feel for those who have a hard time conceiving, but all I want is being listened to and taken seriously.

I have been with my husband for almost 10 years and a year ago I became pregnant for the first time. Had a missed MC at 11 weeks and i ended up passing it naturally at home the night after we saw there was no heartbeat on the ultrasound and the entire experience was very traumatic. After that, all I could think about was how badly I wanted my baby back and so we tried again after my first cycle and I got pregnant again. Lost the second pregnancy at 8 weeks and got a d&c for that one. This was in January.

Our plan was to try again next summer. I’ve started EMDR therapy to help me get over my fear of being pregnant again. But I’m going to be honest… I don’t know if I even want to have children anymore. I’m 28, so I still have time to decide. But as time goes on, and I have started feeling more like myself again (I got really into fitness and lost 30 lbs, fell in love with reading books again, gone on some pretty cool trips, etc), I have really enjoyed the freedom of not thinking about TTC. My sister in law also just had her third baby and experienced some complications on top of problems with her living children, and I found myself thinking terrible thoughts like… at least I don’t have to deal with any problems like that. Even though I would’ve done anything to have met my babies and been able to have them, the more time goes on the more I find I really enjoy all the freedom that me and my husband have, and I’m quite happy with just having two cats.

But then I worry about my future, and if we will feel empty if we don’t have children. Though I don’t really think that would be the case as I know a few child free couples who seem pretty happy. I just don’t know anymore. I used to have a pretty significant longing to have our own family, and now I’m just a fencesitter.

Some gals have all the luck. Solidarity.

This is my second miscarriage in a row, no living children. I feel so broken. I don’t know where to go from here, I’m so sad my anxieties were confirmed from my first loss this time around, but distraught at the thought of any future pregnancies ending in loss too, I’ve been part of the crappy statistics twice now, how do I have hope for the future😔

I’m 33 and I’ve been pregnant 3 times in the past 12 months.

My first lasted until 10w and passed due to t21. I then had an ectopic a month later and lost a tube. 6 months later I got pregnant again, and we just found out yesterday that this one doesn’t have a heart beat and passed at 7 weeks. I’m 8 weeks.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me or my body. I don’t know what to do from here. I’m just so beyond dead inside. I feel like there’s no hope.

I’m 31 years old. Just got results suggesting another chemical pregnancy. Doctor said I should start bleeding soon and should resolve naturally.

My first pregnancy in 2024 ended at 10 weeks with a missed miscarriage. Took a pill (don’t remember what it’s called) to pass the baby at home. Worst pain of my life.

Chemical pregnancy early 2025. Ectopic pregnancy treated with methotrexate early 2026. And now this chemical pregnancy.

I am reading these stories of people having upwards of 10+ losses before a success and I know I should keep trying and it might happen one day but it’s hard.

Doctor said to try clomid again next cycle and see what happens.

I guess I’m looking for advice— doctors have done lots of test and nothing can be found to explain why it keeps happening. Has anyone had a similar experience?

I'm having a lot of feels today. My sense of humor is dark and dry, which ai realize isn't everyone's cup of tea, so I apologize in advance if this post seems super callous.

I keep replaying my latest loss (MMC @ 9 weeks, baby measured 7+3) and I don't think my reaction was....normal.

The tl;dr of our four-year TTC journey is one MC, 3CP, 1MMC. This last time, I found out I was pregnant the day befire starting stims for IVF. So. Yeah. Miracle baby and all that....

/s

Anyway, I was shook at my 6 week scan that there was even a heartbeat. Like...I expected nothing. I expected a blighted ovum. Because...why would everything work out? Instead, everything looked hunky dory. My doctor was ecstatic. My husband was ecstatic. I smiled...that was about it. Call it a defense mechanism.

I felt nothing.

Two weeks later, we found out about the loss. I just remember saying "Fuck" out loud when the tech looked at me and shook her head, even though the lack of heartbeat was painfully obvious on the giant ass screen they pulled the baby up on.

I wasn't sad. Just disappointed. Because...why would everything work out?

I'm really feeling like I can't do this anymore. I was really gung-ho about starting IVF. But now, good beta and progesterone numbers (great numbers, even) don't mean jack shit to me. Am I to go through a pregnancy constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop? Will that stress alone cause an aneurysm or stroke?

I'm tired, yall.

Fourth miscarriage just confirmed. My second mmc. The anxiety and ptsd that’s come with all these pregnancies is too much. I think I’m done. I can’t anymore. The time, energy, money, and joy that’s been wasted pisses me off. I can’t believe this is my life and others so easily have their big happy families. fuck them too

I’m currently undergoing ivf treatment after 3 failed IUIs. We’ve had 4 transfers 3/4 I got pregnant and every single one has ended in a loss. This last one I even needed a d&c. I’ve had literally everything checked.

Immune system normal, got my endometriosis excised, endometritis negative, had embryos pgta tested, RPL bloodwork normal, all other bloodwork normal. Other than my endometriosis that was just removed, everything is perfect.

Just got cleared and getting scheduled for transfer 5, and I’m hit with so much despair. I just have no hope anymore that I can carry a pregnancy to term. I’ve been told endometriosis is the likely cause. All mine was removed now through surgery, but I’m just so scared that it won’t have helped at all and my body is just incapable of carrying a pregnancy.

How do you even manage to feel hope after so many losses?

Like the title says im just looking for some stories that are similar to mine. I had a chemical pregnancy in August and became quickly pregnant again that month. I just learned at my 9week scan that my baby had no heart beat. Has anyone experienced multiple losses like this and went on to have a healthy pregnancy? I am just at a loss for words and not sure where to go from here.

I had a miscarriage during May 2026 and September 2026.

But before all of this, my partner and I invested heavily in our health. We do not drink alcohol, do not smoke, do not eat processed foods (only whole and home cooked meals), we avoid snacking heavily too. We do athletic exercises everyday for 5-6hrs and 8hrs of sleep everyday. We really planned for a pregnancy to happen because I have been in years long relationships before him but never had a child, which I assumed I was infertile but when I change my lifestyle because we (my current partner) wanted to try for a baby, and we were given one.

In May 2026, I never thought I was pregnant at this time because I was only delayed for one-two weeks. We just knew when I had terrible cramps one morning and had heavy bleeding. I couldn’t stand. I couldn’t walk. I was weeping because of the pain. I thought it was just a terrible menstrual cramp BUT IT WAS A MISCARRIAGE. But my grief for this miscarriage was short because we’ve been given a second child and this time we made sure to get a PT the moment I felt the symptoms.

We were so happy and excited when we knew it was positive! We went to the doctor and had a transv ultrasound and the baby was healthy in 7 weeks. We made sure I was eating healthy and no more strenuous exercises. I made sure I was carrying our baby carefully.

I had another ultrasound at 11 weeks and we were so happy the baby already formed tiny hands, tiny feet, tiny head, tiny body, tiny ears, my tiny angel..

But we lost the baby around 12-13 weeks.

I had the worst cramp in my entire life. and I knew in an instant that we are going to lose this angel too. I knew the cramp all too well and I couldn’t properly grieve during the contractions because the pain was awfully killing me. This went on for hours and hours until my water broke and everything, in an instant, came out of me.

I couldn’t accept the death of our second child. I have been crying days and days — when i wake up, when I have nothing to do, when I stare blankly at anything.

I know we can always make another one, but… this was it. It was ours. It was our baby. Our greatest light. Our Angel. Even if the baby hasn’t seen light, it could have seen how beautiful the world could be if he/she were in it. How colorful the world is with our happy family. How our family could’ve shone brightly in every way.

You would never know the grief of a grieving mother who lost 2 children. A grieving mother who has tried years for a child only to grieve for another heartbreak.

Please do not give hateful and negative comments. I just wanted to talk and find another outlet for my grief. I just wanted to move forward but I just can’t move forward with the grief I’m carrying.

I wanted to be a mother. I wanted to care for a child. I wanted a beautiful family…

I have asked the Lord for forgiveness for saying
“Why do You give, if You take it anyway”
and I am sorry.. I am really just too sad. I can’t function. Lord, I trust in Your timing.. but I also prayed for You not to take this one too..

Today was my first time taking miso and i was very scared. I took it about 8 hours ago. 3 hours after taking it i started passing big liver like clots. I haven’t experienced any pain so far and i am afraid of the unknown. What shall i expect in the following hours? I had a natural miscarriage 2 years ago and the pain was excruciating and i am nervous if this is what is going to happen tonight or maybe i got lucky and thats it?!

Today I am 7 weeks pregnant however for the past few days I’ve been having on and off light pink bleeding. It’ll be light, nothing for ages then heavier, then nothing for ages, then light and so on. I can’t get in to see the doctor as I’m in the UK and the healthcare here is near to impossible. I am considered high risk because of my multiple miscarriages but I can’t tell if this is one or not. I am cramping on and off, but not extremely painful, light pink discharge and I have a sore throat and blocked nose (probably unrelated). I still feel nausea and very slight twinges of pain in my breasts but I don’t feel pregnancy symptoms as strong as I did last week where I was on the brink of vomiting, severe fatigue, sleepiness, nausea, headache, cramps, backache etc. I’m not even sure who to call or whether they’ll even bother scanning me because I’m only 7 weeks. It’s awful when you’ve had so many previous miscarriages, every pregnancy after that is just nerve racking and scary.

Does anyone know how long light pink bleeding happens before a miscarriage if this is one? My previous ones were all so different so I can’t really remember.

Hi, I’m likely coming back here unfortunately. I had a 16 week loss in May. I had a d&e and all genetic/tissue testing came back normal.

I just went to my ultrasound yesterday where I should have measured 7w4d and instead it’s twins. But they are measuring 5w5d and 6w1d. While there are fetal poles, yolk sacs and embryos there is no cardiac activity and there is no way my dates are that off.

I am going to have a confirmation scan on Tuesday and then likely proceed with a d&c.

I’m curious for those who have experienced recurrent loss what type of tests you have advocated for following your losses? I know my losses could be coincidental but I have a feeling there may actually be a cause.

Has anyone ever had a miscarriage on their birthday and been able to enjoy their birthday ever again? I miscarried for the second time on my birthday. I had a hypotensive event that lead me to the ER and an emergent D&C. I just feel soo sooo soooo sad and I just want to scream at the top of my lungs WHO TF MISCARRIES ON THEIR BIRTHDAY. Part of it seems unreal. Like if I stuff it hard enough in a box and pretend it never happened I could do that but the part of me just wants to rage. Idk how I’ll ever be able to want to even acknowledge my birthday.

This is my 2nd miscarriage in 6 months. I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks (discovered at 13 week scan) in March which totally blindsided us. I've now just had a miscarriage at around 6 weeks. The hospital have taken bloods to check my HCG in case of an ectopic but I don't think it is. I'm so tired and so sad. At least my body has recognised it this time I suppose? I'm so sorry for everyone else going through this. It fucking sucks.

I am sorry for this long message, I just have to write my feelings and thoughts out, I feel really alone with this right now.

I had light brown discharche yesterday and a little more today… we got called in by my gynacologist this morning when I told them… I was really scared because this was how my miscarriage at 5w6d in January this year started as well.

But in my heart I felt like „everything will be fine“, a second loss in a row and after we saw a strong heart beat 2 weeks ago is really unlikely. We were still so hopeful, that they will tell us everything is fine and a little brown blood can be a normal symptom.

Our Gyn did the US right away and told us very calm, that there is no heartbeat anymore. It measured 7w5d … our whole world just crashed. I just don’t understand why this is happening again? We were so excited and happy that this time we saw the heartbeat and we were so sure that this will be our little rainbow baby.

I don‘t knwo what to do anymore… I am just so incredibly sad. I feel so lost. My whole life, all the dreams, and plans were pulled away under my feet again… just this time it hits even harder.

Main things that come up in my head are „Why does it happen twice in a row? Whats wrong with my body? I can‘t do this grieving again. I am so afraid of the next pregnancy, will it happen again? Am I ever going to be a mom?“ and thinking of all the plans we had. I was going to tell my family this weekend…had a cute box with babysocks and ultrasound prepared yesterday. I feel ridiculous.

How do I continue? Any experiences with two losses in a row?🥺 I just feel really alone.

🤍