I’m blissfully self contained, which is just a polite way of saying I quite like my own company and haven’t yet driven myself mad. I’ve somehow mastered the dark art of being both a night owl and an early riser, which mostly means I exist in a permanent state of caffeinated bewilderment.
I’m just the bloke next door though, a husband and father. My marriage is... fine. We’re great roommates and best friends, but where we sleep has officially transitioned to a 'historical landmark', no actual events have occurred there recently, but it’s highly recommended for a quiet, educational tour about the ancient history of sleep.
I go to work and perform the mandatory 'office social dance' with colleagues I have zero intention of befriending. Why? Because most of them radiate the charm of a mouldy apple. I spend my lunch breaks in glorious isolation because i really can't stand it when people moan about the same thing day after day, i know we all have a little whine from time to time, but crying out loud, change the record.
You’ll usually find me out in the countryside rather than dodging aggressive seagulls at the seaside, indulging in a spot of people watching, strictly in a "sociological observation" way, I promise, not the "featured on a true crime documentary" way!